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I owe my dealer money....
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I owe my dealer money....

It's day 5 for me. I owe my dealer money. I'm meeting this person after work to give them what I owe them.....I originally planned on ignoring this person, but this person knows what I do for a living and could rat me out and destroy me. They know too much to leave a loose end ya know? I'm terrified about going to this person's house because I know they are going to try and push more opiates on me.....I hope I have the strength to deny.....
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18 Comments Post a Comment
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822153_tn?1333066595
Stay strong...look how far you've come!!! Don't cave and BE CAREFUL!!! This is a most challenging situation. Is it possible for you to bring someone along for support? I know where you're coming from..had to do that myself.I just flat out told him I was there to may what I owed and had nothing extra to buy with nor did I want any.Just give him the $$ and get out of there....it's too much of a sketchy situation for you. Please stay strong and remember the w/d's,the strength you have within you to remain clean!!! You can do this!! Let me know how it goes!! Will be thinking about you!!~A
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you! I feel like I'm going into battle. Getting myself mentally prepared. This forum is a blessing.
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822153_tn?1333066595
You ARE going into battle-a battle for your life and yourself!! This is all about you...you came clean,admitted you were an addict,cleaned yourself from the drugs...it's time to put this into the past also.You CAN do it!! Stay strong and pm if you need anything!!~A
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Avatar_f_tn
your stronger than u even know u can do this ! give the the money and get out
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Avatar_f_tn
Listen, you need to start thinking better.

Don't let this person even suggest emotional blackmail. Take someone with you and go pay him/her right now.

She is not going to rat you out(or he). What's she going to say: "The guy who buys pills from ME won't buy them anymore"???  She could call where you work but that's fixable very easily and you're clean now!  

Get this done. This sort of stress is a trigger you can avoid.
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Avatar_f_tn
Is there anyone else that can take your payment to your dealer?  Remember, stay away from people, places and things. Especially in early recovery.

What if when you pay your dealer, they offer you a going away present?  

Why would they want to let you go?  It's a business to them and they are probably also addicted which means the money they make buys them another fix.

Do you have a sponsor? Talk to them. Do your parents know?  If they don't then you are still keeping secrets and THAT will hurt your recovery.

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Avatar_m_tn
It's complicated. Very complicated. No sponsor, and my parents don't know because I'm a grown man. They live in another state anyway and it's none of their business. Nobody in my life knows about this or what I'm going through. And yes, my dealer could threaten my career if they choose to do so.
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi, walk up to the door with money in hand. Give it to him or her and leave. There doesn't need to be a conversation. The dealer doesn't care that your clean. No words need to be spoken.
You can do this!!!!
Congrats on your clean time.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm getting a feeling here that your dealer is a female that you've had a close relationship with. Don't be threatened and stop second guessing this!

Pay the money right now and walk away. You don't need that person in your life. THINK!   A threat is only a threat. People threaten all the time and seldom follow through. Why does this person yield so much power?

Get a money order and put it in the mail. Call it a "gift" on the memo line and forget about this. It's not hard.
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Avatar_m_tn
pay them off and walk away dont say anything no need to there only woored about the money if you start to talk they will have a great deal for you to keep you a custmer so just walk up with the money hand it to them and your threw.........Gnarly
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Avatar_f_tn
Hand them the money and don't even open your mouth.  That starts up conversation, and you do not need that!  They aren't gonna ruin you.  Just walk away with a smile and be happy that you have come this far.  One of the reasons they want to get you over there is to try to keep something going, so I'm telling you right now to NOT speak in any way!  I'd say to not go at all, but I can see that it will only eat at you, so just do it!

It's gonna be ok.  Take our advice.  Congrats on your 5 days.  Let's make it 6, ok?
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1831920_tn?1320861357
Only take the amount of money that you owe and no more.  Let us know how it goes.  Do not let them know you are afraid of them ratting you out.
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Avatar_m_tn
Wow you're good.....I have to pay it, no matter what. I can't leave this loose end untied. I have a plan. It's simple. I'm going to leave the money in the mailbox.
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495284_tn?1333897642
Drive up to the persons house and drop it in the mailbox and leave.  
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495284_tn?1333897642
Oh geez, i was writing this while you posted!!!  lol
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1831920_tn?1320861357
I am a little worried about you leaving cash in the mailbox unless it is close to the house.  or you could drop it in the mailbox call from a safe distance then never look back!
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495284_tn?1333897642
Good point Ann.......Make sure he/she is there when you do this.
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Avatar_m_tn

Congrats on day 5 and wanting to stop - I'm proud of you.

Dont leave the money in the mail box as they will claim that it was stolen or an incorrect amount.

I would suggest telling the dealer that you are in a rush, quickly pay the debt and get out of dodge ASAP.

Once you leave delete their phone number and stay away from all places that this person may socialise in.

The dealer will not inform your boss as it will expose them as taking part in criminal activities - its probably just a threat so they can collect their money.

Remember that the dealer is not your friend - they just want you money
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