I relapsed again !!! Ugh!

[Barbergirl80]

Im so pissed at myself. I did it again. I relapsed again. I woke up today and i feel like i gotta just stop this crap. I dont know what to do!! I cant afford rehab! :( i just feel like dying :(

[3yearsugly]

I understand that sometimes people relapse but I dont think it has to be "part" of your recovery! Do I want to relase after all the time I have been sober from oxy NO, but do I want to have that feeling of not having to deal with feeling? YES all the time. But I think if we are here for suport then I think we need to be real and not make it seem like recovery has to go through a relapse. Because all the meetings and posts I go to and read I feel like why does that person get to go back out or get to use again and come back and not me? I know that theres a chance that if I do I will be dead! Is it ok that you relapsed No but are you blessed to be back alive and having suport? 100% you are and everyone who has picked up those pills again needs to realize that! What are you going to do different this time so theres not a next time! God bless everyone who is dealing with this scary addiction and remember that you dont have togo through a relapse to get sober but if you do fall there will be people to pick u up!

[Fireby29]

I feel your pain.  I am on day 10 after relapsing after 56 clean days.  Relapse being "part" of it is true, but I think feeling bad about it is a ok emotion also, because it shows you do want to stop.  Keep trying, your strength is building and I do believe you can get there.  I feel much, much better then I did at day 10 last time for example.  Both emotionally and physically.  Just keep trying!  See if you can further cut off your supply, it is so key.  It even helps emotionally I think, because it is a bit calming when you crave and KNOW you just flat cannot get any.  

Bryan

[Pat1956100]

Oh wow. I'm so sorry you have to go thru this again.  Going to work is going to be tough.  Hopefully you can get some sleep before then.  Remember you are an addict and addicts relapse.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  
Going to work tomorrow will be punishment enough.  

[Barbergirl80]

I was taking Heroin. For a week straight. And i have to go to work tomorrow, sick or not :/ im in such a mess right now :(

[weaver71]

After my gazillionth relapse I started going to NA the first day I quit. It seems to help in combo with this forum and anyone else I can honestly share with. Get all the help you can and trust that nobody is judging you. It's hard to be sick in a meeting, but I feel convinced that I will make it through the night afterwards.

[Pat1956100]

It's true, I think we learn something about ourselves every time we relapse.  I guess it makes us stronger although we feel very weak when we do.

[akitagurl12]

hi,
i went back and forth like that for a very long time.  Even rehab didnt help me.  THe only thing that was difference between my current quit and all my others was i really made sure to get rid of all the pills and made sure the dealer i was getting them from never would offer or sell me anymore. I also started focusing on the mental parts of being an addict. Don't give up on yourself, just take what you have learned and apply it to your new quit.

[kyle505]

We all relapse - over 15 years I did many, many times. Over and over again.
Don't beat yourself up; don't over dramatize what's happened. It is just a part of being an addict. What you do now, how you handle this, is what will define you.
Look at why you relapsed; were you going to meetings? Did you have friends or loved ones that you could talk to? And, most importantly, what had you done to set up roadblocks against getting more pills? If you don't cut all sources, then you will be tempted to use.
So pick yourself up and get going. We're here to help, but you are the only one who puts the pills in your mouth, thus the only one who can stop.

[Pat1956100]

You know what you have to do.  Just quit again.  I know how badly you feel but you want this and you aren't going to be happy until you are clean.
How much did you take and for how many days?  
Hopefully your withdrawals won't be too bad and you will feel better soon.
I have relapsed several times and I know how hard it is.