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I relapsed
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I relapsed

So I was well on my way of day 2.... and I relapsed. I couldn't even make it 2 whole days!!  I have more... help me. Should I take what I have and taper ... will it make it easier?
Should I throw them away?  I dont know if I can!!  This is awful.
Tags: relapsed
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24 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_m_tn
What were you taking and how much? how long?
This will not be a walk in the park, but you can do it. need more info.
You can do this, others will come on and help later.
Let us know, and good luck! Keep posting.
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495284_tn?1333897642
I went c/t.  Wanted it over all at once and i didnt have the willpower to taper.  Was not easy but oh so worth it.  You can do this.  Keep posting and read.  We are here for you.     sara
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538390_tn?1213980511
I was taking 6, 10mg hydrocodone per day. sometimes 5 depending on the brand. I've mentioned previously that i have always been very cautious of the amount of tylenol i consume in 24 hours and never exceed 4000mg. ... but i've been taking SOMEthing for over a year. it's been everyday for a month or so now..... I used to be able to go a few days or a week without anything... but this is rediculous. I just took another one when i signed off of here.... so now i've taken 2 today.... better than 6 I guess..... I juts dont know. I can't help but to feel like a loser.
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495284_tn?1333897642
You are not a loser.  This addiction plays real heavy mind games.  Toss them out and say this is it, no more and i want my life back.  We are here to help you.  sara
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401095_tn?1351395370
if u have been clean for 2 days and used once...a taper is kind of silly....if u relapsed for a week or so...then a taper may help....if u can not taper alone then get someone u trust to hold ur pills...if u can not do this than just CT...ur dose is not high...u will be ok in less than a week physically...the mental part is ongoing tho...the energy and such...lasted close to 4 months for me...and i still crave ...get thru the detox...and take it one day at a time...it has to come from deep inside....u have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired...and even then ur brain will play trix on u down the road...there is no miracle cure....no miracle drug to take for a couple of months to make craving and relapse away....u just have to want it
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Avatar_f_tn
Withdrawal *****, really badly and sometimes making yourself deal with it is the best thing to keep from doing it again.  Tapering is always so tricky because you can always find an excuse to take another one that way.  Have you thought about any alternatives like suboxone or something to help you?  That helped my husband get clean and stay clean for 3 years now.  I would only advise taking that as a short term to get through the wd's and stay active, don't allow yourself to think about the drugs when you do find anyting to do, tear paper, make a list of why you don't want to take them etc.  Getting off of opiated is one of the hardest things in the world and you have to be ready and willing to do what it takes.  Can you go to any type of counseling?  That helps.  
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538390_tn?1213980511
I want to thank all of you for giving me your support. Honestly I wish that I was sitting here feeling like ****, and letting another day of sobriety pass leading me to be myself again... But that isn't the case. I'm sitting here right now feeling what has become "normal" to me. So... I'm going to try my hardest to talk myself into flushing what I have.... instead of holding on to them like they are gold.I felt so bad having to admit to you guys, my new friends, that I had relapsed.
I honestly dont know what I am going to do yet.... as far as tomorrow goes. But... it will be another day...  
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538390_tn?1213980511
Y'all please dont give up on me yet. I really do want to stop. I know i fkd up... but... please believe that this isn't what I want. I just.... well, i dont know. Just dont give up on me. :)
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401095_tn?1351395370
we wont...believe me u r not the first and wont be the last who didnt go totally clean on the very first.try...give urself a break even if this was not ur first try......i would reccomend flushing those pills...i would...why hang on to them?  it is admitting that u may need them if u do...there is a sense of freedom that is very encouraging to take the power over those pills and let them go...it kinda shows who is boss,,,who has the pwoer...u do...let them go....it is hard to be successful with them in ur house or anywhere easy to get...LET THEM GO!
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401095_tn?1351395370
I sent u a pm...think hard about what u want
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518798_tn?1295215879
No one is going to give up on you.  I always use the analogy of riding a bike to the process of getting clean.  You don't always learn the first try.  You fall off the bike and get back up and try again.  You don't fail until you stop trying.

Good Luck Wanna Be
Susan
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401095_tn?1351395370
agree with lady...u are not done til u throw in the towel and quit trying
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Avatar_n_tn
WannaBe,

Take my advice and just cold turkey it now.
A little over a year and the amount you were taking is minor compared to many of us.

So, I'm thinking after going thru w/d it may not be too bad.
Just suck it up and figure the next week you're gonna have the "flu".

We've all had that "flu" and it's bad. but it does get better.

Good luck to you.

(And, I just wanted to say that you're name will be even more appropriate if you keep using because you will lose so much of "yourself" in time. SO much)
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480035_tn?1222369764
your definately not a loser. losers are the ones who dont try. at least your trying. i'm sorry its not as easy as just not taking anymore. but then again it really is. when your ready you will, so get ready ok.
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538390_tn?1213980511
HaHa Thank you guys. I've just flushed 12 pills down my toilet.  So tomorrow, I start all over again. Hopefully no more relapses. Thank you all for sticking with me. It's so much nicer to have people who understand.
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401095_tn?1351395370
wow...what a great big step in the right direction!...now u can move forward
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Avatar_m_tn
Great job, you can do this, one day at a time. Don't look back
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539990_tn?1219478355
Day 4 and most lousy symptoms are gone....still craving like mad....only a little stomache ache and a little diahrea left....energy levels coming back, I'm hungry...brain less fuzzy...but why does 3 more days seem like forever?
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518798_tn?1295215879
One word of advice.  Please keep posting on this forum.  If I hadn't found this place, I don't think I could have done it.  I have become close to people on here and believe it or not, even though we are basically strangers, I don't want to let them down.  It also gives you someone to be accountable to.

You can do this.  Flushing those pills shows that you are stronger than you think.

Good Luck and Keep in touch
Susan
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Avatar_f_tn
Don't beat yourself up....and we won't give up on you....we don't want you to give up either. Please keep posting as much as you need to! This is do-able and you can do it. It's hard....but you can beat it!
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460948_tn?1232305722
I'm late replying to you but I'm very proud of you for flushing the pills!! Great Job!!

Now just keep looking forward and keep posting! How are you doing today? Just remember you only hit a bump in the road so really you had 2 days behind and then a bump, but today you're back on track!!

Let us know how you're doing and if you need anything! I will pray for you!
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501205_tn?1227349042
I am also pretty late in posting but was wondering how you are doing since you flushed them.  Did you flush all of them? I think you should.  I know it *****.  I basically did the same thing two days ago and now I am on Day 2 ct.  You can do this.  I know how hard it is but it seems like you will feel better ifyou do.
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518798_tn?1295215879
Hope your day is going good.

Susan
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