I think my husband is snorting his Ritalin and concerta...I need help...what do I do...how can I tell???

[abc468]

i think my husband is snorting his ritalin and concerta.  how can I tell for sure.  I saw him do once with my own eyes and he was drunk and said he was only doing it to help get it up and it was stupid and he doesnt know why he did it.... so i believed him.  Now I think he is drinking a lot.  I have found hidden bottle in 2 places...he says they are not hidden and they have been there for  awhile.  And he doesnt keep his ADHD meds in the cupboard any more.  they are hidden in a drawer in the garage.  How do I know for sure?

[Drrecoveringaddict]

This is an obvious addict you're describing. It will only get worse and never better until he surrenders completely and quits all mind altering substances. Arguing is pointless and unless he is willing to admit the full extent of his disease, nothing you can say or do will change that. But I guess you know all of this by now, since it's been more than a year since your last post. Did he recover in a 12step program or something of similar quality OR did he end up in a jail,  institution or dead?  Only those alternatives exist as I understand it,  one love// Erik

[deniseann2012]

I also came from a home with an alcoholic and married a recovering one. My story is alot like yours. Eventually he was a shell of himself and I had to take th kids and leave.  He killed himself after so many bouts with pancreatitis. I wish I had left earlier as my kids can tell the same stories I can, horror stories about a  addicted parent. I was financially dependant on him and left and worked 2 jobs at a low wage to live in peace. Leave him yesterday. If he gets clean, consider if you want to go back.  I left before I was front page news that he killed me on some binge. Your life and the lives of the children are at risk while he is drinking and/using drugs. If not for yourself, leave for your children. Give them a chance.

[ReeRee2000]

I understand what you are going through. Was with a terrible alcoholic is for 10 years. For years mine wouldn't ack

[atthebeach]

They are all ritalin pink,blue & green?  Just ask him how many prescriptioons he has. Yes the runny nose and sinus issues can defdinitely be from snorting. Does he have allergies? If not then it is the snorting. You are going on the 9th for counseling and an intervention? I did that with my husband a few times and put him on the spot. He definitely was pissed and denied he was using. Did you ask him to please just keep the bottles in the cabinet because you would feel more comfortable?  I know you want to believe him because that is what we are supposed to do in our marriage. But if he already had prior abuse issues especially with cocaine and you saw him snort the ritilin it seems to make sense he might have relapsed. Also if he hasn't gone to the doctors about his sinus issues and seeked any treatment then that would seem like he knows the cause of the problem. Please try not to be in denial.
Sending prayers
Debbie

[abc468]

I looked them up and they are ADHD meds...ritalin.  his nose was dripping alot this weekend.  Is that a sign of snorting?  

[atthebeach]

hi go to drugs.com there is a pill identifier there. you have to put in the pill shape, and any imprints.

[abc468]

Hi- I did find the 3rd bottle that was missing from the drawere i found them in, in his car.  In it he had concerta pills, a light pink pill, and a light blue or green pill.  So when i came to work today i looked up what ritilan looks like and they are typically white or yellow, not pink or blue or green.  I looked downstairs and the bottle he has downstairs with the most recent date is a ritilan bottle and those are white.  So what are these pink, and blue or green pills??  I wonder if he is trading or selling the white ritalin for the pink and blue  or green ones...

we are going to a marriage/psch counselor.  She has been his counselor, but turned into our counselor because she has had me come with him.  We havent gone in several months, but do go occasionally for a refresher, so that is how I am hoping to get him there on the 9th.

i am so happy for youthat your husband is clean and your children are doing ok.  I cant even imagine going through that with your children.

I am stillhaving a hard time convincing myself that this is a real problem... i keep thinking, " but what if", "maybe he is ok and telling me the truth"  

I am going to grab the pink and blue or green pill this weekend and run it walgreens and ask the pharmacist  what they are.

[atthebeach]

my husband is also an addict now recovering clean 1 yr. yesterday. he had been a heroin addict before we married and clean for 5 yrs. unfortunately  i didn't know about the relapse part. oh well, now i know.he started to use again  and i suspected found stuff oh i only did it once.he was using morphine pills said he was sorry. 6 months later. samething. this went on and off for years. everytime i would confront him he would lie more, get angry. we yelled and screamed i would confront he would lie. we would go to counseling he said it is stupid, doesnt work. he wasn't ready to stop. he had been married before has a 32 daughter from a previous marriage, i was married and have a 25 yr. old son, i was widowed. then we have 3 children together. they are 19,13 & 11. he was a very functioning addict, always worked. i know i enabled him i wouldn't leave the house with the 4 children. his daughter lived with his ex..
he would never leave saying he paid the bills. i never worked outside the home. we slept in separate bedrooms for 5 yrs. then in feb '09 he finally left. we were separated for one year. we have been married 20 yrs.i was going for a divorce after 14 yrs. yes 14 yrs, of his use. it is hard to believe it actually went on that long. he was using methadone and xanax for 10 yrs. he went into a christian drug & alcohol program last feb. stayed 2 months. the Lord did a miracle in our family. my children each internalized it differently. my 2 oldest starting to smoke pot and do coke, both quit high school in their senior yr. my 2 youngest one would hide in his closet the other one was very angry. i have had all my children in counseling for years. my 2 oldest are also clean now and doing good. the 2 younger ones are healing. i wouldnt wish a life of living with addiction on my worst enemy. a hell on earth. well you know it is his old addictive behavior that has surfaced. please confront him. we lived a secret for a long time. his family and mine didn't know. i would have friends talk to him didn't work. they stop when they are sick and tired of being chained to their addiction. i called all his doctors and told them not to give him any narcotics, i told my family and his when we were separated. i told our pastor. i wanted to bring his sins finally into the light. for years he always denied everything. when everyone knew he couldn't. the sinus issues definitely related to the snorting. does he have a few doctors with 4 bottles ?
do you think he is doing something else too? see if he will take a urine test i did that to my husband and my kids. ask if he is doing anything besides is prescriptions. if he gets defensive ask him to take the test if he refuses you know the answer. call his doctor and express your concerns. i did. they will listen believe me.  ask him to let you see the bottles. what kind of counselor are you going to? marriage? ask him not to drink everynight and see how he reacts to that. i know your concerns with your children. been there ,done that. i definitely lived it for way too long. i will be praying for you.if you are a believer please pray. it definitely will help you and hopefully him too.
sending blessings your way.
debbie

[abc468]

Hi thank you for your response.  Here is my whole story... we have 3 young kids.  He was a coke addict years ago..25 years ago. Last September he threw me a surprise 40th.  In nov I started noticing liquor purchases on the bak account every 1 1/2 to 2 weeks.  So I asked him about it and he justified it.  They continued, so I asked again and he was mad and defensive.  Said he didnt have a problem.   he is one of those people where it is really hard for me to tell if he is drunk or been drinking.  However, I think I am noticing alcohol smell on him ( i think it is but not sure)  I know it is not his colongne, or shampoo, etc.   So then he had a flat tire, collaed me to come help him and I had to bring some things from the garage.  So in looking for the things I needed to bring, I found an empty cardboard box in front of liquor bottles (about 4) in a cupboard.  So I asked him a bout that and why he is hiding it.  And he promised me very sincerely he doesnt have a problem, but also was irriated with me asking him again.  I said I dont mind if you drink, i have a few glasses of wine and drink socially.  ut bring that stuff in and put it in the kitchen in the liquor cabinet and if you want a drinl fix it in here and not the garage.  the liquor is still out there.  Since i think i am noticing him being a little drunk at times.  But he has had bad sinus stuff for 6 mo or so...maybe longer.  His nose is always runny.  Always blowing it.  And i have noticed late  at night he will all of a sudden sound realy stuffed up and nasal like.  he is up till 2-3am every night and I have no idea what he does.  i am also thinking there is a pron addicition as well.  So with the incident in jan of seeing him snort something, now al of this stuff, I am thinking there is a snorting and drinking problem.  I found a bottle hidden in an empty file drawer in his office.  And found 2 bottles of ritalin, and 1 of concerta hidden in the garage.  And a bottle of ritalin down in his office.  So he has 4 bottles with pills in them.  I also notice increased sweating.  Yesterday I looked at him at dinner time and his scalp was full of sweat beads ( I could see it through his hair)  And he has complained himself about these night sweats he is having.  his fingers are also redish purple, just from the big knuckle down which he has never had before.   And in general he seems off to me at times.  And there was once incident in the bedroonm about 2 weeks ago where he was rock hard, unlike he ever usually is, and had i type of aggression about him, difefrent then usual.  I cant live like this.  I wont let my kids grow up in this .  i come from an alcoholic mother, horrible upbringing and I wont put my kids through what I went through growing up.  We have a counseling meeting in 2 weeks, which he doesnt know about yet becuase If I told him now about it he would totally be suspicious and wont show up for it.  he is the kind of person who would not show up if he thinks he is going to be confronted, and so then he will be confronted at that time.  What are your thoughts?

[allmymarbles]

You are his wife. Trust your instincts. He appears to have an addictive personality.

[atthebeach]

hi and welcome.you concern is justified. if you saw him do it once am quite sure it wasn't the only time; you have to ask him why he doesn't keep it in the cupboard. be honest tell him you would like him to keep it there. he would snort it to get a quicker high. it seems he isn't using  it as prescribed because it wasn't prescribed to get him high. does he run out before he is suppose to. he might have a runny or red nose. tell him your concerns. even about the drinking. if he if taking more than prescribed he could be aggitated easily and grind his teeth these are symptoms of speed and if he is using more thats the effect he would get.
blessings to you,
debbie