Aa
I tried it, but I failed, and now, I'm more scared than ever.
Well, I've been hooked on things before and have been able to quit. These Oxy 80's are another story. OK, like I was saying, I was snorting 3, 80mg. Oxy's a day. Over the course of the last 2 weeks, I've cut down to half that, snorting a half instaed of a whole, 3 x a day. I took some good advice yesterday and tried, for the 1st time, to take my meds by mouth. A half of an 80 last night. Well, about 2 hours went by, and I experienced a notacable withdrawl. I mean BAD. I had to, and I maen HAD TO, go snort another half in order to be able to go to sleep along witha 100mg. Trazadone, which I've been on for 25 years.
I can see now that I'm really hooked, and BAD. Now, I'm really scared about this thing. What I thought would be OK, is not. I don't know what to do next, so, this morning, I snorted again. A half, (40mg.) and am writing this. So, anybody got any advice? Please?
I can see now that I'm really hooked, and BAD. Now, I'm really scared about this thing. What I thought would be OK, is not. I don't know what to do next, so, this morning, I snorted again. A half, (40mg.) and am writing this. So, anybody got any advice? Please?
Can you do it????? Of course you can...I
Scott Peck's The Road Less Traveled
"Life is a series of problems.
Do we want to moan about them or solve them?
Without discipline we can solve nothing."
"To be free people we must assume total responsibility for ourselves, but in doing so must possess the capacity to reject responsibility that is not truly ours. To be organized and efficient, to live wisely, we must daily delay gratification and keep an eye on the future; yet to live joyously we must also possess the capacity, when it is not destructive, to live in the present and act spontaneously."
"By attempting to avoid the responsibility for our own behavior, we are giving away our power to some other individual or organization. In this way, millions daily attempt to escape from freedom."
"If our lives are to be healthy and our spirits are to grow, we must be dedicated to the truth. For truth is reality. And the more clearly we see the reality of the world, the better equipped we are to deal with the world."
"Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there.
The more effort we make to appreciate and perceive reality, the larger and more accurate our maps will be. But many do not want to make this effort.
Some stop making it by the end of adolescence. Their maps are small and sketchy their views of the world narrow and misleading.
By the end of middle age most people have given up the effort. They feel certain that their maps are complete and their compass is correct.
Only a relative and fortunate few continue until the moment of death exploring the mystery of reality, ever enlarging and refining and redefining their understanding of the world and what is true.
But the biggest problem of map making is not that we have to start from scratch, but that if our maps are to be accurate we have to continually revise them. The world itself is constantly changing.
Scott Peck's The Road Less Traveled
"Life is a series of problems.
Do we want to moan about them or solve them?
Without discipline we can solve nothing."
"To be free people we must assume total responsibility for ourselves, but in doing so must possess the capacity to reject responsibility that is not truly ours. To be organized and efficient, to live wisely, we must daily delay gratification and keep an eye on the future; yet to live joyously we must also possess the capacity, when it is not destructive, to live in the present and act spontaneously."
"By attempting to avoid the responsibility for our own behavior, we are giving away our power to some other individual or organization. In this way, millions daily attempt to escape from freedom."
"If our lives are to be healthy and our spirits are to grow, we must be dedicated to the truth. For truth is reality. And the more clearly we see the reality of the world, the better equipped we are to deal with the world."
"Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. If the map is true and accurate, we will generally know where we are, and if we have decided where we want to go, we will generally know how to get there.
The more effort we make to appreciate and perceive reality, the larger and more accurate our maps will be. But many do not want to make this effort.
Some stop making it by the end of adolescence. Their maps are small and sketchy their views of the world narrow and misleading.
By the end of middle age most people have given up the effort. They feel certain that their maps are complete and their compass is correct.
Only a relative and fortunate few continue until the moment of death exploring the mystery of reality, ever enlarging and refining and redefining their understanding of the world and what is true.
But the biggest problem of map making is not that we have to start from scratch, but that if our maps are to be accurate we have to continually revise them. The world itself is constantly changing.
Thank you for your insights. My health is a BIG issue. Taking all the Rx's I do, there is obviously a LOT wrong with me.I often look at the medicine closet, see about 20 different things wit Rx labels on them, and think, "People who take this many Rx's, don't live very long." I guess I resigned myself to an impending death then. I just chose to mask my feelings with Oxycontin.
I have had a hard time cutting down to half my dose, but I have, To "discretekara" who answered. Thanks, I will continue my cut-down process the way I have been. That hepls to know that. I know this won't be easy, in fact, it's going to take more strength than I think I have. I mean, now, I have to face Life. It's so much easier to face Death.
I removed my photo from my profile, because I had a thought that someone desperate for Oxy's might monitor this site, and see my picture and Myrtle Beach, and if they live around here, try to locate me by face, and then.....you know. You see it on the news everyday, at least here. They rob and kill for these things, so, you know.
I have had a hard time cutting down to half my dose, but I have, To "discretekara" who answered. Thanks, I will continue my cut-down process the way I have been. That hepls to know that. I know this won't be easy, in fact, it's going to take more strength than I think I have. I mean, now, I have to face Life. It's so much easier to face Death.
I removed my photo from my profile, because I had a thought that someone desperate for Oxy's might monitor this site, and see my picture and Myrtle Beach, and if they live around here, try to locate me by face, and then.....you know. You see it on the news everyday, at least here. They rob and kill for these things, so, you know.
Please don't get down on yourself. If this stuff was easy, none of us would be here! Someone told me on here once: Quitting is like riding a bike, falling is ok, just keep trying until you get it right.
Sounds like a valuable lesson in trying to change to oral vs snorting. It might be worth it to still make that change; yes you might see some w/d symptoms but I don't think you're going to get out of this without a little withdrawl symptoms. Plus, if it's too easy to quit, you might go back, so think of those symptoms of w/d as a way to train your brain to NOT use any more.
As for the high BP, it sound to me like talking with your doc would be a good idea. Lots of people have noted that they get improvement of their w/d symptoms with a drug called Clonidine, which also would help with your blood pressure. Explain to your doc about your committment and ask for his/her help. It may mean you have to go through a taper program right away but it would also allow you to get this medicine (Clonidine) that could help with your high blood pressure.
I remember being scared as heck when someone caught me "red handed" and insisted that I stop right away. But looking back, I don't think I could have done it successfully without that happening and the "help." It makes a big difference to have others know what's going on. In the midst of quitting alone, it's very easy to talk ourselves into the "just one" moments. But if there's someone else involved (even if those people are on here) you have something else to try in those moments...
I'm now counting in months as opposed to days and am at 3.5 months and am happier than ever.
You can do it...being scared is good, it means you're headed in the right direction. Like lots of valuable things in life, it may not come easy but sobriety is worth it.
You CAN do it!!!!
Good luck and keep posting.
Sounds like a valuable lesson in trying to change to oral vs snorting. It might be worth it to still make that change; yes you might see some w/d symptoms but I don't think you're going to get out of this without a little withdrawl symptoms. Plus, if it's too easy to quit, you might go back, so think of those symptoms of w/d as a way to train your brain to NOT use any more.
As for the high BP, it sound to me like talking with your doc would be a good idea. Lots of people have noted that they get improvement of their w/d symptoms with a drug called Clonidine, which also would help with your blood pressure. Explain to your doc about your committment and ask for his/her help. It may mean you have to go through a taper program right away but it would also allow you to get this medicine (Clonidine) that could help with your high blood pressure.
I remember being scared as heck when someone caught me "red handed" and insisted that I stop right away. But looking back, I don't think I could have done it successfully without that happening and the "help." It makes a big difference to have others know what's going on. In the midst of quitting alone, it's very easy to talk ourselves into the "just one" moments. But if there's someone else involved (even if those people are on here) you have something else to try in those moments...
I'm now counting in months as opposed to days and am at 3.5 months and am happier than ever.
You can do it...being scared is good, it means you're headed in the right direction. Like lots of valuable things in life, it may not come easy but sobriety is worth it.
You CAN do it!!!!
Good luck and keep posting.
Hi,
Please take into consideration your blood pressure before you decide to go c/t. I tried a few times to go c/t and the last time (when i went to the Doctor to get on suboxone) my blood pressure was 175/110. I was in full withdrawals as directed by the doctor but it scares me to think if i had went ahead and tried to this by myself i may not be here right now.
Also, if you get a good suboxone doctor they will take into consideration all of your health issues and work with you on those. I am not sure if you are even interested in this method but thought i would throw this out there. P.S. I am 45 years old
Please take into consideration your blood pressure before you decide to go c/t. I tried a few times to go c/t and the last time (when i went to the Doctor to get on suboxone) my blood pressure was 175/110. I was in full withdrawals as directed by the doctor but it scares me to think if i had went ahead and tried to this by myself i may not be here right now.
Also, if you get a good suboxone doctor they will take into consideration all of your health issues and work with you on those. I am not sure if you are even interested in this method but thought i would throw this out there. P.S. I am 45 years old
My drug of choice was alcohol but I'd thought I'd share since I'm almost 57 and was 53 when I finally admitted my problem(s) and went to rehab. There were several people older than me, so I don't think you need to be embarrassed about that angle. (I was at one time, but now I know better.) I've also had a stomach ulcer, blood pressure problems, and worst of all, anxiety and panic attacks. The amazing thing is that after almost 4 years of sobriety, I have NONE of them, now. I take 20 mg of Lexapro (an SSRI) a day for the depression that I'd denied my entire life, and that I'd sefl-medicated myself for until I finally became horribly addicted to alcohol. Could you possibly go to an in-patient rehab center, with a medical detox? You might be more successful in staying clean that way. Getting through withdrawal is only the beginning; making a life without drugs takes a lot of work, but it is so worth it. Take care,
I don't know that much about health but have crushed plenty of Oxy's and can say that it won't change your taper if you crush or swallow the Oxy's. I've done it both ways. You can just keep tapering the way you've been doing and then once you've gotten yourself to a low enough ammount you can just go cold turkey. Just a thought. You'll be the only one that can decide what's right for you.
Good Luck.
Good Luck.
Cozmo... good morning! I don't have alot of experience with oxy's or snorting them... so i don't have any solid advice on that. I did want to tell you that it's early and others will be on later that have been through the same thing... so I am sure they can help you more than I! You can get through this.... and you will! So please be patient and someone w/more knowledge than me will be on soon!
Good Luck!!
JoAnn
Good Luck!!
JoAnn
Not sad. We all have some issue or issues. We are human beings.
I understand also when you say you are scared. Funny to be over 50 years old and be scared. I thought that left after 22?
I believe if it is bad enough we will do anything to get sober.
The blood pressure concerns me. I hope some nurses will chime in.
I know you can do this.
You can not go to an addict doc or a internist? Just to check your diabetes and BP as you withdrawal?
Thanks
Chuck
I understand also when you say you are scared. Funny to be over 50 years old and be scared. I thought that left after 22?
I believe if it is bad enough we will do anything to get sober.
The blood pressure concerns me. I hope some nurses will chime in.
I know you can do this.
You can not go to an addict doc or a internist? Just to check your diabetes and BP as you withdrawal?
Thanks
Chuck
Thanks. Yes, I have a lot of other medical issues, Diabetes, Hypo-Thyroid, P.T.S.D., Blood Pressure, Panic Disorder, Cholesterol, Stomach Unclers, etc. I take about 20 different Rx's a day. The Oxy's are the problem. I tried Methadone and it screwed me up Big Time. I really have to do this myself, and I've been able to cut down to half my dose of 3 weeks ago. So, I'm ready for the next step, but found out that taking the Oxy's by mouth isn't at all the same and more is needed that way. I know snorting is NOT Good and I have to quit that, but I just don't know if I have the strength, I just don't know. I'm like a scared kid at the ripe old age of almost 56. Pretty sad, huh?
Cozmo,
I am pretty new to this site but not to the addiction. There are many on this site that probably will respond who have more insight.
Because I am near your age I know it can be a lot harder for our bodies to withdraw from these drugs. Also, do you have any other health issues?
I am not one to push Suboxone but it might be an option for you. I also know many people on this site that have CT'd from this drug. You will have to go through some type of withdrawal. Yes, it will be a b*tch for 3-5 days but after you will feel some relief.
Snorting is something only by God's grace I had not done. I'd say either bite the bullet, maybe take a day or two orally with some uncomfortable symptoms then CT.
Can you talk to a addiction doc?
Only my thoughts.
Chuck
I am pretty new to this site but not to the addiction. There are many on this site that probably will respond who have more insight.
Because I am near your age I know it can be a lot harder for our bodies to withdraw from these drugs. Also, do you have any other health issues?
I am not one to push Suboxone but it might be an option for you. I also know many people on this site that have CT'd from this drug. You will have to go through some type of withdrawal. Yes, it will be a b*tch for 3-5 days but after you will feel some relief.
Snorting is something only by God's grace I had not done. I'd say either bite the bullet, maybe take a day or two orally with some uncomfortable symptoms then CT.
Can you talk to a addiction doc?
Only my thoughts.
Chuck
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