I want to be numb again - please help

I've been clean after quiting c/t from 12-15 loritabs a day for almost 9 months.  I'm not having physical withdrawals any longer, and can actually see there are physical positives to being off the meds, but not too many emotional positives.  I feel "shell-shocked".

I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is anxiety, I would explain it more like my nerves are just raw.  I'm at home due to a disability and with my two kids all of the time, And I have to be honest, my little one is driving me crazy. She is very clingy and doesn't leave my side mostly due to past hospitalizations I've had.  She doesn't leave my side and they are bored in the summer.  And my kids are really good kids.  I feel terrible taking it out on them by snapping when they are just being kids. Like when they are speaking loud or jumping around me.  I am on Lexapro for depression and have been for years and it's been a life saver for me and after 14 days, I don't have the depression I had in the beginning.  I did recently start taking xanax when I went off the loritab.  And I'm concerned about this.  I took one .5 today and it wasn't enough to be around my 8 year old, so I took one more.  Not good.  I don't want to replace one drug for another.  Any insight would be appreciated.

[dominosarah]

Are you getting any type of aftercare??

Congrats on your clean time!!!!!          sara

[ImGettingClean]

This is definitely part of the WD process...it takes time...you're at day 14 clean?

Also, I would definitely be careful with the Xanax....you dont want to get hooked on those; never had'em, but i heard WD from that is very tough...

[CATUF]

go to meetings,
get a sponsor and
work the steps.

CATUF
1520

[GA Guy]

You're coming alarmingly close to switching addictions with the Xanax. Of all the common benzos, Xanax is the one most people get addicted to the quickest. Please, be careful. Just like Sarah mentioned, you need to be around people other than your children. You're just going to drive yourself crazy if you don't. AA or NA meetings would be so helpful. Group therapy or a therapist would be OK, too. I love my AA and NA meetings. It's the cheapest therapy you'll ever get.