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If I make it through tonight....

....it will be two whole nights Benzo free (the first time since Xmas of 2007!)  I did a medium-slow taper with Valium and so far (fingers crossed) it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Valium stays in your system a long time so I'm still taking it day by day. But there was a time, last fall, when I thought that two days without would be impossible. It's been really hard, don't get me wrong - but I've come so far since last fall - those nights were terrifying.
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2060290 tn?1331001033
I'm SO SORRY you had such a rough night!!!!!!! Are you trying to take anything to help you sleep? I feel so bad cuz I heard everyone say they have insomnia and I just don't. I sleep pretty good, even when I tried cold turkey in december i really didnt have trouble sleeping. During this taper I'm doing I dont have trouble either. Is there something wrong with me? I do take benadryl at night maybe that's why. Weird.
I read you have 2 cats. I have 4 cats. But my baby best kitty is Fluffy Felix. He is so sweet. He ALWAYS knows when I feel bad or sick. He is right there cuddling with me, following me everywhere I go and constantly wants on my lap. I love him so much! I must sound nuts to you. Anyway petting him and cuddling with him does help me. I read somewhere petting a dog or cat relieves stress. I think it helps a little. They just know when we dont feel good. And its nice knowing they will always be there without judgment. They love unconditionally.
I hope you have a better day and night. I really hope you get some rest!!!!!!
Take care!!!!!!!!!
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Avatar universal
Please check your inbox.
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Avatar universal
It is amazing how we are able to function with little sleep.  My longest stretch was 3 days, it was terrible, but I still managed to get through the days.  Eventually my body gave in and I started getting 4-5 hours a night. I know it *****, but try not to worry, your body will sleep when its ready.  Hang in there!!!  Sharon
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Avatar universal
Thanks Gnarly. Right now everything feels a little "Spooky" and my head feels full of cotton. I try to lay down and slow my mind and iy helps. Kava has always worked well for me so I'll pick that up tomorrow. Thanks again for checking in...this beats doing it alone.
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Avatar universal
HI  I just want to encourage you to push past the yucky feeling of benzo withdrawal .....YOU CAN DO THIS I have done it it never any fun and it last for some time but it is doable there is a great tea out there it called YOGI kava stress reliving tea.....some walmarts cary it otherwise get it on line seap 2 bags  for 10 min add a spoon of sweet n low and in 15min your nice and relaxed this is the best tea I have found to relax with it should be in everyones cupboard hang in there post often and be ready to loose a few nights sleep good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  
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Avatar universal
Thanks Lulu,

I quit a number of drugs when I was younger but these benzos take the cake. Funny thing is I never really felt like I was abusing them. The more I took the more my anxiety and sleep issues became a problem.

How much longer do you think you have before you are done?

I MIGHT slow my taper just a bit now that I have this place. I feel....I guess a bit more powerful. Heh, it's late.

I'll keep an eye on your progress - and you are right about Valerian (Kava is good for a couple days as well). Best wishes
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1926359 tn?1331588139
Hey 3doors,
I've been doing a long slow taper off of benzos for sleep that i've been on for 2+ years.  I started after my opiate detox 3 months ago and I'm down by a third.  I'm holding here for awhile because i'm experiencing w/d symptoms and I need to function.  I know the insomnia is the worst, and Bkitty gave you some solid advice.  I wanted to ask-have you experienced any chills and extreme sweating as part of w/d?  I can't figure out if this is what's happening or if I need to get my thyroid tested.  It's been going on a long time and really interferes in my day to day life.

Awesome work on getting free from the benzos!  They are tough.  Have you tried Valerian root and melatonin for sleep?  I swear the Valerian root makes me sleepier than the benzos do.  If you aren't on an Antidepressant give them a shot.
Praying to the sleep fairies for you...
Lu
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Avatar universal
Yep
You nailed it. I start to get myself twisted when I think I will always be this way. But honestly, even with little sleep I'm ok. Actually got in a quick nap. There is something really powerful about telling your story.

I dig your screen name - i know I'm on the right track to finding myself. It's pretty cool that other people are looking as well.
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1767882 tn?1331409169
3doors. I feel for you with the insomnia. I was doing valium with the norcos and oxys for about 3 or 4 months, Not real sure how much, it's all still fairly blurry. I know I was doing enough and often enough to cause my W/Ds to
last longer. I am the insomnia poster child! I still have trouble, just not as much or as often as earlier. I learned to accept it, to live with it and I discovered that to a large extent my body adjusted. Sure I was tired, but
I functioned OK. The absolute worst part of the whole thing was the FEAR.
I was terrified of how long it would last, would I go insane, blablabla. Eventually I just let it go...surrendered. That very night I slept for 5 straight
hours and I cried with joy when I woke up! It will get better. Hang in there.
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Avatar universal
Now that made me chuckle...mine brought home a possum. Of course I picked it up because I thought it was dead now I know where the term "playing possum" comes from. They are scary!

I'll get some pictures loaded to my ipad so next time we talk I'll have 'em ready

Thanks again for the chuckle and the time killing idea
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Avatar universal
I love my kitties!! I have 5 of them,,they have been there with me the last 15yrs. I would sometimes just lay in bed and watch them sleep and wake them up to play. They stayed close to me during detox. I have a real funny story I will tell ya later about my cat finding a bottle of pills,,me flushing them and the cat drinking the toilet water. I couldnt look at my cat for days after that! (* There were a few pills still floating around). Hang in there!! Im excited to hear how your appointment goes!~Bkitty
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Avatar universal
Bkitty,
Thanks for the kind words and info. It's been about a three month taper that I totally breezed through...until tonight. I had cut down to .25mg every other night but I just got so tired of counting pills (not prescribed). Before this I cold turkey'd an opiate habit and I just want to be done.

However, I'm beginning to see that I certainly won't wake up one day "cured".

I like your handle - my two boys (cats) have kept me great company during my recent struggles.

Once again thank you for the encouragement. I'm still figuring my way around this forum but I hope this reply finds you happy and healthy. God! I sound like a robot ;-(
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Avatar universal
Hi! Benzo's are really really tough to come off of. All the physical and mental symptoms you are feeling are normal. Are you under the care of a doctor for your taper? You should never quit benzo's cold turkey as it increases a chance of seizures. We are really not supposed to give tapering advice but slow is the way to go with that valium. The insomnia from withdrawal I think is the worst part! I literally laid there and counted the minutes that ticked by. I had to find something that distracted me. It was hard but Id come here and read and post,,journaled,,watched my favorite movies,,funny videos on youtube,,play games on facebook. When you are awake at night and all the world is asleep its the lonliest feeling,,it was palpable. This will eventually pass and you will sleep again. I promise! Hang in there!~Bkitty
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Avatar universal
Oops fingers are shaking pretty bad...so the anxiety was extreme to say the least (yes I had all the horrible withdrawal symptoms as well. In order to cope I had a friend overnight a fistful of Xanax to me...she would soon become my dealer and I was taking between 2-5 mil a night for 2.5 years.

Last December I switched to Valium and began to taper...so hear I am at two days clean from Benzos and feeling sort of raw but it feels good to set that story free even if it was poorly told and typed. My fingers are going away and my eyes hurt.

But I'm so good!

This begins a new me...a new chapter in my life. Surviving it is the tricky part.
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Avatar universal
OK - I thought I would be plenty enough tired to at least lay down and get some sleep...but the weirdness is starting. I have an odd feeling at the top of my stomach. Maybe a compressed feeling? Noises are suddenly too loud and startling and my ever-racing mind is at full throttle. I can tell that I either need 2.5 ml of Valium or spend another sleepless night.

I was pretty optimistic about tonight but, once again it will be me and my withdrawals. Patience is not one of my virtues and I silly want this to be over.

I started taking Xanax back in the summer of 2007. I had spent about half the summer on 50ml of methadone (I would float all day long). But, being naive about methadone I didn't think it was very addictive because I was able to skip days or dose every other day and not feel withdrawal. How wrong I was. Over the course of a nasty, week-long stretch spent in SoCal (emergency room visit include) without any opiates....I came to find out methadone has an extremely long half-life and i had enough in my blood to skip a day and not feel it.

The anxie
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