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1455248 tn?1289055373

I'm Ready for this fight with Suboxone

Good Morning everyone, I have been reading the post for a while now and they have really helped. Well it's my turn to fight for my life back and let me tell you I'm so scared it's not even funny. So here's my story I have been on suboxone for 2 years now started at 8 mg and have been able to get myself down to 2mg for some reason I can't get myself down any lower. I have 6mg left which will make Thursday my last day. And after that a new person will be born. I was on vicodin about 6-8 750's a day due to a back injury then back surgery after that. Couldn't take the vic withdrawal so my family doctor referred me to the sub doc. and that is were it all started.  I'm so ready for this I have to do it I have no more subs left and I'm not going back to the sub doctor I don't feel he has my best interest at heart. So this is my plan if anyone has any advise please I need all I can get. I have bought all the vitamins that are needed for withdrawal. I have zanax and tynoel 3. I plan on making a doctors appt. today to get some clodine I heard that works. I know this is a huge step but I have to do I want to be normal I don't want pills I want to be me, the person that I know is deep inside who is screaming to come out. I know I have a rough road ahead but I'm ready. I'm keeping two jornauals of my progress so I share with people when I'm done. Again any support or input would be so appericate.
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Avatar universal
I started on 18 mg of subozone a day and its crazy expensive. He has lowered my daily dosage 3/4 3xs a day. Why am I on so much more than everyone else? "I just want to be normal" I honestly dont know what that is. How can I get off all this stuff?
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Avatar universal
How long were you on on it and how much?
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Avatar universal
How long were you on on it and how much?
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Avatar universal
I been on suboxone and subatex for about 7 years I started getting a prescription then after I eneded up addicted I ended up injecting them and I still am injecting the subatex, I am goin to a detox/Treatment facility soon whenever a spot opens up 4 me, within 2 weeks, I am very scared also so tommorow I'm gonna start putting them under my tounge insted of injecting and then start to taper down as much as I can before I go, I live on a indian reservation where within the past 8 years the Suboxone/subatex abuse has risen to where its like a epademic here, its harder to get a doctor around here so on the streets one 8ml tablet of suboxon goes for $60 dollers, and one 8ml tablet of generic subatex goes for $70 and regular subutex goes for $75, that sounds ridiculous right, well on top of that I live in a fairly small town and seems like at least half the ppl here abuse suboxone or subutex, and since there so expensive and addicting the theft rate when up, houses are always getting robbed so they can go sell whatever they rob for the pill, the child abuse rate went up because when the parents are broke and can't pay 60 or 70 dollers every single day they get sick n take it out on there children, a lot of the new norn babies are comming out addicted, its really sad. I get my own prescription but I want to get off so I can come back and be a example that it can be done and try to help other ppl addicted, its sad because there is already a lot of poverty on my rez but since suboxon hit the crime rate went up so much and about 80% of the users inject, the hepatitis c rate is at about %80 percent for the iv users so this **** is really ruining lives and it does affect everyone here even the ppl who don't use, and to me that's why I had enough and I don't want to end up with hepatitis or something worse, plus I really want to help my ppl, I really wish suboxone and subatex never was introduced to this place, weird but off the reservation seems like other races can handle things a lot better and the addiction rate isn't as high, I wish the best 4 all u ppl tryin 2 quit goodluck
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Avatar universal
Krissy... I think your lying.
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Avatar universal
Krissy... I think your lying.
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1801781 tn?1461629469
This is a pretty old thread from 2010.  Go up to the top and click on the orange ask a question button.  Cut and past your comment there and you will start a new thread for people to see.  You may get missed on this old thread.  
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Avatar universal
In 2007 my wife had kidney stones in her Back she was in alOt of pain her mom told her to go to a special doctor she prescribed 120 percocets and that's how are life changed forever these doctors dont know what there doing I never knew what addiction was I never took any kind a pill in my life before that I didn't even like to drink I was 25 when I started now am 28 my wife is 30 we been through alot together were just glad were able to take care of are kids and are money goes to important things and not script doctors who don't care what happens to you longest you help pay for there houses and cars does anybody know why we get so depressed when we try to stop I've never suffered from depression any thoughts would be appreciated
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Avatar universal
Wow I have been reading all of it comments and it hits right at home every time I try to quit suboxine I can't take the depression I don't mind the body pain I just can't take asking my self why am I so sad I feel for you wantthissobad I know exactly how u feel My wife and I have been on subs for two years because of addiction to percocet we take a half of 8 mg pill a day it's alot better than taking 30 percs a day we have been trying to stop suboxine for two years now and it's so hard we have four kids together and the suboxine does make us not wanna do perks and it's cheap so even tho we are addicted we can still live a normal life and take care of are family you inspired me to try to quit thank you for comments never give up everyday is another opportunity good luck and god bless
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1455248 tn?1289055373
Good Morning everyone hope everyone had a safe weekend. I'm doing okay feeling a little down today. I woke this morning thinking I will never be free of these subs I know it. I'm a little disgusted with myself, my husband still doesn't know my lie that I started taking the sub again. I feel as I will never be free again and it's like I'm in a trap and can't get out. Why did I ever let this happen?
Helpful - 0
1492555 tn?1289002825
I was hooked on subs for a year,,, i was so mad because like you said earlier vicodin is so much easier to get off of! I quit taking suboxone cold turkey in july...i would never ever suggest for anyone to do that. I seemed to be ok for three days and then- BAM- I lost out on a whole entire week of my life. It just so happend that I was on a trip and 5hours away from home. It was the worst experience i had ever been thru. It took me almost a month to get better, I still wasnt the greatest. Mentally, it took alot longer, I called my doctor and explained to him that he should have informed me a little bit better about this drug. Since then i have called the suboxone hotline a milllion times over- I think people should know that this is a very addictive drug...even more so then vicodin. I tried everything,,,vitamins...5hour energy drinks...these things really dont help.. I think you should find another doctor. One who helps! I think its also great to talk to people. That helped me out a TON!! Its been 4months for me and Im doing so much better. I found asking god to help me and asking people to help me really did just that. It helped me! Once your done with those, you will be soooo proud of yourself. You will actually be pissed that you didnt do it sooner! I wish you the very best,

prayers, ashley
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1455248 tn?1289055373
Happy Halloween everyone, hope everyone is having a safe and fun weekend. So I have been giving a lot of this whole suboxone situation and I have to get off this crap. I have a plan, when I tried to come off of subs last week it was horrible mentally for me. I could handle the physical withdrawals but the mentally just killed me. I can honestly say I don't think I can beat this fight with suboxne. When I was taking vics I stopped taking them cold turkey I was only sick for 3 days and by the 4th day I felt wonderful with subs I made it 6 days and day 6 was way worse out off all of them. I think I'm going to take vics to come off of subs, I know it sounds weird and I'm going to make people think I'm crazy but I have to get off of this drug and I can't do it cold turkey, has anyone out there every tried it this way? I need some input and if anyone has done it this way could you give me some input. Thanks
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1455248 tn?1289055373
Good Evening,

Thank you so much for your responds. I feel so guilty right now for not telling my husband. He is so naive to the disease just got done telling me how much better I'm acting, and how well I did beating this (the subs) he is my best friends also and we keep no secrets from each other (except this one). It's so hard I have never really lied to him like this. He keeps telling me that a dumb doctor got me on this crap and I'm not an addicted, he says you hurt yourself and was on pain meds for a long time what do I think will happen. While I was going through the withdrawal I would just look at him and my children and just start crying because I'm the one that holds us all together and they were so lost without me. They were so worried about me I can't do that to them again. I'm so afraid if I tell my husband about the subs again he will be upset with me. I really just want to try to ween down super low and try to jump and try to hide. I know it's wrong and I shouldn't hide this from him but I'm so ashamed of myself. Why do I have to go through this? Why I can't I learn to feel "normal" or learn to feel it's like when I go into withdrawal I go crazy because it helps me feel again. I know I need to go to meetings but I started seeing a therpist last week he's okay but I don't feel he get's me. I know I need to tell him the truth but I don't want him to be mad at me. I'm just so upset and dissapointed in myself.
I hope your feeling better Wolf your almost free you should be so proud of yourself. And Jaybay thank you so much for the support you are really nice and made me think about a few things.
Take care my friends
Helpful - 0
1472850 tn?1290125172
Hi,

I've posted to you B4.  I'm Jaybays Hubby and have to make this short because I feel pretty crappy right now, day 14 (?) with no Sub no nada after 1.5 years from 16 mg. to 3mg to jump off.  This is my second attempt and I WILL get there from here.  My first attempt I ramped myself down to 1 mg. daily and jumped off to to 0 for seven days.  It was no fun.  I caved and called the Doc.  He prescribed Tylenol 3's and more subs (sound familiar?)

I fired this Doc and found another with a good soul.  He is quite knowlageable and said some folks cannot get off using slow rampdown which was my case.  He had me on 3mg. maint., used me for a lab rat for something he had heard at a seminar.  He put me on 16 mg for three days, then one day at 8mg, to Omg.  It has something to to do with the ceiling effect of the drug.  The Docs still do not understand how this stuff works on the Brain.  It is Evil.

Attempt 2 has not been any fun at all, on the contrary.  But I can say that it is not near as bad as attempt 1.  Your emotions are part of WD.  I'm an old Biker and have cried my eyes out daily recently  We all have our reasons to use opiates/opiods, some cause they just like to get high.  Most though have an issue that the drug masks whether they realize it or not (myself included).  Please consider taking your man to your next Doc meeting.  Anyone that has no physical/mental experience with addiction will not get it.  

All the best.
Helpful - 0
82861 tn?1333453911
Don't beat yourself up so much for not being able to jump from 2 mg.  My husband is on his THIRD jump from sub.  He never made it past a week with the previous attempts.  This time looks like a keeper, but he is an emotional disaster zone.  It really is shocking what sub does to emotions.

DH has detoxed more than once in his life - heroin and methadone and pretty much any opiate he could cram in his body - and he says Sub is Satan himself when it comes to detox.  But, we believed the glowing, no-pain, easy-detox BS the sub doc/ pusher had to say and here he is.  The Sub doc also gave him a few tylenol 3's after 5 or 6 days of Hell and they had zero impact on the withdrawal symptoms.  It's just really awful stuff for your brain to recover from if you've taken it for more than a month.

Gnarly is SO RIGHT when he encourages you to "work your recovery" and get some help while you're stable and before you jump again.  You need to have some more mental tools at your disposal to get through the detox and on the road to recovery.  Posting on an internet forum is all well and good, but nothing is as effective as the personal touch.

Have you thought about asking your husband to go with you to your next doc appointment?  Have you told him you're back on it again?  You're going to have to tell him before you jump.  He saw what happened last time and he will recognize the symptoms.  It's not fair to either one of you to keep this a secret.  

Addiction is terribly hard for the non-addict to understand.  Sometimes they just need to hear the facts from an "expert" in a white coat before it sinks in.  You know and I know and everyone else here knows it's not a matter of willpower and simply walking away from the pills.  It's mostly about killing emotional pain and then turns into finding enough of the drug of choice to be "normal" enough to get through the day.  Seriously, he should consider sitting in on a few Alanon meetings if for nothing else than the educational value.  

Seriously hoping and praying that this time will go much better for you.  :-)
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1455248 tn?1289055373
Good Morning my new friends, still weening from the subs this ***** by the way lol. I hope everyone woke up today with positive thoughts and love in their heart. I wanted to share a few feelings I have been having lately.
Sometimes I wonder why I love the feeling that opiates gave me I wonder if it is because I knew my father was a heroin addicted and I seen drug abuse by him when I was younger? Why are so many of us a like on here? I mean think about it you can read everyone's story on here and most of us have similar ones and some are different but we all seem to have one thing in common I noticed we all are sensitive people who are really down on ourselves. Do you think that's why we love the opiates? It masks that sensitivity we all feel, does it make us feel stronger or not make us feel so we don't have to deal with our sensitivity? Why do I always think everything is my fault? I think this is what helped lead me to addiction. I'm so glad to be thinking about these things now to know I have a few things I need to fix. I need to learn to love myself sober and not think that I need to have that "pill feeling" just to go shopping or hang out with friends. One of my most fav things to do would be to get a coffee, starbucks or something like that and pop a vic and I was ready for my day. It was like the caffeine and the vic loved each other it gave me a great  buzz (I always found that weird). Sorry for rambling this morning but just wanted to write. Have a wonderful day everyone!
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1455248 tn?1289055373
I thought I was the only who suffered from depression and thought I found the miracle drug what ever you do, do not stay on it long it off asap! I have been on it for 2years and the ones who don't suffer horrible withdrawals usually are the ones who only take it shortly. I want off so bad. Good Luck 2 u!
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1454150 tn?1288127898
I am currently on subs also...almost a week now. Before I turned to the subs I was taking 20+ perc 10/oxy a day, so when I went to the sub doc he told me I could take up to 16mgs a day, but I decided to take 8mgs. split 3xs daily. As of yesterday I dropped my dose to 6mgs 3xs a day. So far so good!

I totally hear ya on the mental thing! I have been labeled "major depressive disorder with anxiety"...so that is my biggest fear too! I took the pills for pain but then I realized I had the added "benefit" of no depression...thought I had found my miracle drug...yea right!!

I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending strength and Blessings your way! The best to you...Lisa
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1455248 tn?1289055373
Hello friends,

Just wanted to check in with everyone, hope all my new friends are doing well. I'm doing good I have myself weened down to about 1.75mg I plan on doing that for a few days see how it goes and just keeping dropping. I seriously can not take the mental part. Are there other's out there who did nothing but cry and feel hopeless? Does it go away? I can handle physical but the mental just about killed me.
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1455248 tn?1289055373
Thank you so much for the advise. I only told my mom I started taking the subs I took 6mg in two days. It's so weird how this drug works I didn't have to much physical it was very emotional for me. I'm back on the ban wagon. I'm going to ween myself a little lower over the next few days. I know I can do it, I can say reading some of the horror stories made it much worse then what it really was. Thank you again and i wish you luck. Have you tried vitamins? I have been taking them and I think they have helped look up the Thomas recipe if you haven't already. Please keep me posted I want to know your progress have you started a thread?
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Avatar universal
I'm on day 4 of not being on suboxone- Saturday was my last day, I took 2mg and then 1 mg...I feel ok today, the things that kill me are the physical symptoms like tossing and turning, stretching and the RLS, I'm taking ativan for the anxiety and ti seems to help. Things will get better, but you have to be honest and open with the peole around you that are also committed to your recovery. Develop a stong support system, people who love and respect you. Things will get easier, just take them one day at a time.
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1455248 tn?1289055373
Thanks for the help, I was just thinking to myself I'm more addict to this stupid sub then I was to Vic they were so much easier to come off of. Like I said before it's not the physical part that truly was manageable. On day 5 I was starting to get so discourage because of the mental anguish. I was vics for 2 years with the last 6months of use being about 6 pills a day but truly my back was in a lot of pain and I was addicted. I want this so much and one of the reasons is I don't think I'm getting anywere with my sub doctor he would keep me on it forever if he could. He is the only one that prescribes it in the area. I just wish this nightmare is over. My hubby doesn't know that I'm back on sub. I don't know how he hasn't figured it out but he knows nothing about addiction. Well I will try back later.
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617347 tn?1331293081
this is a slow time... most of the people are sleeping or waking up  :) I am here but i don't have any experience with sub so i can't help you, sorry. But it seems that you need to be ready for the mental battle yet , it is really tough, wanthissobad.... getting clean is easier than staying clean as we say here and for good reasons... you need some aftercare, this is a must ... hope you will feel better soon and someone can help you with your question.
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1455248 tn?1289055373
Looks like DayToTry is the only one out there today, I have decieded to wean myself only giving myself little crumbs so the withdrawal isn't so mentally killing me. I take the physical but not the mental still looking for help anyone out there that can help me!
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