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I'm Ready for this fight with Suboxone
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I'm Ready for this fight with Suboxone

Good Morning everyone, I have been reading the post for a while now and they have really helped. Well it's my turn to fight for my life back and let me tell you I'm so scared it's not even funny. So here's my story I have been on suboxone for 2 years now started at 8 mg and have been able to get myself down to 2mg for some reason I can't get myself down any lower. I have 6mg left which will make Thursday my last day. And after that a new person will be born. I was on vicodin about 6-8 750's a day due to a back injury then back surgery after that. Couldn't take the vic withdrawal so my family doctor referred me to the sub doc. and that is were it all started.  I'm so ready for this I have to do it I have no more subs left and I'm not going back to the sub doctor I don't feel he has my best interest at heart. So this is my plan if anyone has any advise please I need all I can get. I have bought all the vitamins that are needed for withdrawal. I have zanax and tynoel 3. I plan on making a doctors appt. today to get some clodine I heard that works. I know this is a huge step but I have to do I want to be normal I don't want pills I want to be me, the person that I know is deep inside who is screaming to come out. I know I have a rough road ahead but I'm ready. I'm keeping two jornauals of my progress so I share with people when I'm done. Again any support or input would be so appericate.
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Hi there. I honestly dont have any personal experience with suboxone. I'm new to this site and have an addiction to percocet. attempting to taper off them with the hopes that my wds wont be as horrible. i guess i was just curious about the suboxone. for me it cant be an option, but i just dont know anything about it. I've read that people take it to avoid wds, but then I'm curious as to ywhy its prescribed after the withdrawal period. What is it for? I don't mean to sound like an idiot. And I truly wish you all the best and hopefully someone on here will be on who can relate and help you out, rather than just ask questions! But I thought who better to ask than someone with actual experience with it. Best of luck and thank you!!  
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi! The clonidine is a good idea.  It worked well for me.  I would not use the xanax or tylenol 3.  DEFINITELY not the T3.  It's an opiate and will just mask the WD, and you'll have to do it eventually.  

Epsom salts in baths are great.  Mag/cal/zinc and potassium will reduce leg cramps and some of the other symptoms too.  Definitely get those.  There are lots of OTC remedies that you can use, so please be careful with the meds that you're planning to use.  Clonidine will help you more than anything though.  The other stuff is playing with fire.

Good luck!!!! : )
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow, you have really done well.  Just think about how far you have come and how many of the people on here arent quite there yet.....You can inspire us with your posts on how your feeling after Thursday........
You should celebrate (not with a drink)...but with a nice dinner and go for a long walk!
Way to go!
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Hello! I was in a very similar situation (1mg a day for about 2 years of suboxone) and Im currently on my 17th day clean. I had gone 3-4 days several times but this time I knew from day 1 I was going to be 100% committed to being clean. The first week was pretty rough obviously, but from then on days have slowly but surely been getting better. I still have some discomforts and insomnia but its all manageable compaired to the first week. I changed my diet around completely and have been eating healthy, taking vitamins, and exercising whenever possible. All these were recommended to me on this forum and I believe have helped my w/d process by a huge amount.  17 days from taking anything and I feel like I have a new pair of eyes, like I was living in a massive fog for several years. Keep your mind set strong, push through the first week day by day, and soon enough hours dont seem like days anymore. Free to talk anytime, best of luck.
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Forgot but like tramahater said the hot showers also saved me many times when I felt like I was gonna go crazy. I would take tons of showers as hot as I could bare when I felt at my worst and they helped A LOT.
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Thanks so much you guys for all the support, when I opened my question up and seen so many responds it made me feel so much better. I'm so ready for this I no longer will depend on any pills for anything. I just want to be free, and when I cry they are tears of angry and joy at the same time. I'm mad that I did not educate myself on this medicine that I was so weak that I listen to anything that doctor had to say just to get out of withdrawals from the vicdion. I have seen so many encouraging stories on here, and it has helped me so much. The last few weeks I have pumped myself up for the fight and no matter what I will win. I know I have a rough road ahead but I know that I can do this I have no choice I have to do this. It was pretty easy going from 8mg to 2mg in a few weeks I know I will not feel much pain for a few days and I'm prepared for that. As long as I'm not deathly sick for more then a couple of weeks I will be good. My plan is to exercise and not change my routine get up with my kids in the morning get them off to school and do my house work and then I go to school I will not let this drug stop my life. Please keep the encouragement going it helps me so much.
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You certainly can do this and it seems like you have the necessary mindset...that will make a huge difference in your recovery.
There are some natural remedies that will help to alleviate some of the pain and discomfort associated with withdrawals...check out the health pages on the right of your screen - I have a variation of the Thomas Recipe using only natural ingredients in my journals.  
You have been given some great advice already and as others have warned...careful with the xanax and tylenol 3 as both are habit forming - it would be great if you could detox without them.
This site is wonderful, there are so many knowledgable and supportive people here who understand exactly what you are going through so use this as an outlet for your feelings and as a source of encouragement....continue to post -
Best of luck
Peace
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Good Morning my new friends! I woke up this morning trying to pump myself up and getting ready for the fight. I have a docs appt. with my family doc this morning not looking forward to that. I'm so nervous about ending my relationship with suboxone but it has to be done. In my opinion I should have never been put on it and 2 years is way to long. I can no longer dwell on the past and have anger I must move on end this relationship with the subs. I don't think I have ever been so scared in my adult life as I am now. All I can say is lord please be with me.
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You know whats different now, you are in control!  You can say Yes I am now in control and feeling so much better without thinking about a white pill.......Way to go....!
I think you are very brave and strong for what you have accomplished....you are very inspirational....and most of all, you can live a strong, healthy life for your kids
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Hey! I have been 22 days off of Suboxone and let me tell ya something. I was just like you scared to death of what it was gonna be like when I had nothing. Well here I sit 22 days later so it didn't kill me oh and it didn't even bother me at all really. I had a touch of anxiety on day 5-6. I was worried for nothing. I listened to all the horror stories and had myself almost talked into just staying on Suboxone for the rest of my life. If I can do it anybody can do it! I am the biggest baby when it comes to the slightest sign of WD. You can do this!!!! I have faith in ya and I don't even know ya! If you need anything at all I am just a message away and will try to help the best I can.
Best Wishes
Krissy
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I forgot to add that I jumped off on 2mg. It can be done you just gotta put your mind to it!!!
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Good Morning my new friends I took my last dose of sub at 1pm yesterday. I have decieded I'm not going to sit here and feel sorry for myself I figure I will try to sike myself out and keep doing all my normal things. Like getting my kids up in the morning for school, get myself to school/. I lost my job back in Jan. that's a whole different story I have to go into that later anyways I went back to school I got accepted to the University of Michigan GO BLUE!!! and this is so important to me so I'm going to class today like a normal day. I don't have class again till Tuesday and that will be day 6 for me I have to keep up with my homework.
Anyways, I plan on fighting this now I'm mad I will not let any pill take my life from me. I thought I bet the vicidin but I didn't I just got on sub all I did was trade one pill for another. I can't dwell on that I must move forward.
Krissy and curleygirl that you so much for all the words of encouragement. Krissy did you say you only got anxiety? I'm going to go read your blog after this. I have all the vitamins I need so I'm ready bring it on suboxone.
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I did only get anxiety. From what I have heard and read I got pretty freaking lucky. I am not sure how I lucked out but I did. I had my Dr give me some Kolonopins and like an IDIOT I ended up having some issues when I ran out of them. Day 5 I was saying well I feel great and yada yada I must be in the clear. Then like 3 hrs later I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep and it hit me. Don't get me wrong the anxiety was pretty freaking ruff. I thought about all the times that I was in WD's from my DOC and made myself see that what I was feeling was NOTHING compared to what I could be feeling. I had prepared myself for the day that I took my last Sub and I think that really had a lot to do with it. Day 7 I started Naltrexone but from what I read it doesn't take away Wd's so I was just over them all together. I was supposed to go in for my Vivitrol injection on day 10 BUT the ins comp. was throwing a fit and wasn't wanting to pay for it cause it was over 1,000. Got all that worked out and I can get the injection every month for the next year!!!! I am glad that you decided to break free from Suboxone. I think it is a wonderful drug but it is too addictive. It saved my life and without it I would NOT be here today let alone writing that for the past 8 months I haven't touched my old DOC or for the past 23 days I have been off my new DOC lol... Best wishes
Krissy
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Welll I made it through the first 24 hours this will be my first night without subs in my system took my last 1.5mg does yesterday at 1pm. I know you don't go into full withdrawal for 3days but I have started feeling some of the withdrawal yawing started this afternoon, headache, and a little sweaty nothing I can't handle yet. I started my vitamins yesterday hope those help. The thing is I have no want to be on those pills anymore I want to be a normal person today is my first day clean in a long time. And in my opinion you are not clean when you are on subs. I'm preparing myself for tonight i have benedreyl and xanxa's for tonight and I'm taking it I don't care I have to try to get rest if I don't I know I will go insane. I'm glad I have day one down this really ***** wish I never went through this but oh well can't dwell on this. I can't wait to wake up and feel good, I can tell it's coming I don't feel good I don't feel myself. This board is helping me so much and I will continue to write my updates. Chat with you all later.
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GM everyone it's day 2 I can't believe I have been opidate free for 48hours that is a first in a really long time! From what I heard withdrawals from sub don't kick in till day 3 but I'm not letting that scare me I think I have no choice and not getting that little wakey buzz sub gave me wasn't that great it isn't so bad being yourself (thats what I say now). My family is so supportive my daughter keeps asking if I'm okay :(  that tears me apart. My husband has also been great but sometimes he doesn't understand he has what addicition is and how bad withdrawals can be but he tries his hardest.
Last night I was thinking about God and my life and I really believe everything happens for a reason. I'm in college and working on my Health Education degree and I thought about withdrawal and why we do this to our selves. I have learned so much about addiction I feel I need to share my knowledge and help people get through the things I got through. I feel like why wouldn't you share your experience and all the things you have learned on this journey. Not only was I addicted to opiates I grew up with an abusive heroin addict father. So I have decided once I;m done with school I'm going to try to do something that will help others.
Does anyone know on day 2 I'm feeling a little withdrawal is getting going to get much worse then this? Thanks again for everyone's help.
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CONGRATS!!!!!! I was just sitting here thinking. I guess I am still having some sort of WD's cause I sweat like crazy now! It is embarrassing... I only sweat from my pits nowhere else. Uhhh this is driving me crazy. I don't know what to tell you about how much worse it is gonna get since I didn't experience the WD's from them like a lot of ppl have. You have overcome so much in life! We all have. I know that I want to get out there and tell my addiction story to younger ppl in hopes that if they haven't started using they won't or the ones that have that they will take a look at where this behavior is headed. Ppl would tell me when I was younger I was gonna end up like my aunt but there was NO WAY I would do that cause I was better than that. WOW did I really say I was better than another drug addict?? Well at 15 I thought I was. I thought I had it under control and there was NO WAY I would let it take over my life. Hmmm well let's see. Addiction was my life. My life revolved around my pills. I think that pretty much sums up that I didn't have control and well though I might have gotten clean had I not I would be my aunt when I got to her age. I was my aunt when she was 27. Ok I am gonna stop rambling. I could sit here all day and go on and on about how it messed my whole world up like most of us could. Best wishes you are doing great!!!!!
Krissy
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So it has officially 48 hours since my last sub I have been taking vitamins not sure if they are helping I'm going through withdrawal but not as bad as I thought I get hot flases and clod flashes but nothing I can not handle. Last time I I jump off of sub it was at 8mg and I was crawling out of my skin in 24 hours. I want this so bad. I husband has been great it tries to keep me busy and it's really helping. I got out a little today took the dogs for a walk I fell the best when I'm outside walking it's like a therapy for me. I have been drinking tons of green tea hoping to get all the toxins out of my body. I keep thinking this will all be over soon I will feel so much better before I know it. I did noticed I'm having a little depression. Thanks Krissy for checking on me it's really helping me.
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Avatar_m_tn
You are doing awesome and will make it.  I am on day nine of suboxone withdrawal after over 2 and a half years and I jumped from like 32mgs a day.  Days 4 and 5 were the worst physically for me, just icky and restless legs.  Stomach problems haven't totally gone away, but since day 6 the physical symptoms have not been too severe, but I have been extemely emotional.
The worst symptom that seems to be lingering is the insomnia and restless leg/arm feelings at night.  I toss and turn until around 2 in the morning and wake up at seven, not feeling to hot.  It's better than no sleep but very uncomfortable.  If you can continue to get good sleep with the aid of whatever helps you, you will be fine.
I have tremendous hope for you.  I have been reading tons of these types of threads this week, which has greatly helped me get through the days, and have never posted before, but your story made me want to offer my experience and support.
I have read a lot that exercise helps, and I totally agree.  Even if I just move around the backyard with my dog for 5 or 10 minutes it helps me get our the door in the morning.
Hang in there.
Also, I have been taking a daily vitamin, some amodium for my stomach, lots of alleve for headache, and have had some relief from the restless legs from a homeopathic remedy called "Restfull Legs."
Let me know if I can be of any help.
MavDeep
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Thank you so much for the post reading them is really helping me. I know I'm only on day 2 but it isn't has bad as I thought and I know if I feel like this tomorrow it wont be so bad for me it will be day 3 I can't believe it. I want to be free so bad, I take the restless leg stuff and it really helps I also am taking a multi-vitamin, l-trysone, magnesium,imdioum, my stomach hurts a little but no bathroom issues yet. It really seems more emtional for me I cry so easy. I'm also trying to do my regular everyday things. I know I have a long road a head of me but I know it's going to be better. I went to Walmart today and looked at all the people that were laughing and smiling and I thought look at these people they are happy and I'm sure some are drug free. I also keep thinking about my days without pills how I didn't need them. I have to keep reminding myself you will be normal and happy you have functioned pill free before and you can do it again.
MavDeep you can do it you have come so far you should be so  proud of yourself. When did you start to feel withdrawals? And when did it get better,
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I am excited for you.  I have been crying really easily also, but I have also been laughing a lot with my wife, and she keeps telling me I seem more like me than I have in a long time, despite the physical pain and discomfort I have been experiencing.
The worst of the physical symptoms was day 4 and 5.  By the evening of day 6 I had some time of relief.  The worst isonmia didn't start until day 7 and 8 for me, but I did jump from a really high dose.
From everything I've read and my own experience so far I believe that days 4-7 are physically the worst, but that the trouble sleeping can last for a while as does the lack of energy.
Again, this is day nine, and right now I have a little bit of a headache and some minor bathroom troubles, but that is nothing compared to the hope I have for the future.  I feel scared but free.
It has really helped me to read about other peoples' experiences coming off suboxone.  My refill would be due today but I'm not going to fill it.  Suboxone worked well for me for a time, but eventually became my enemy.  I think it can be a wonderfully useful tool, but for me, it is time to be totally clean and sober.  I am excited and you should be too.
The days have gotten much easier, the last few nights have been difficult because I tossed and turned a lot with tons of nervous energy.  Tonight is Friday and if I can't sleep I am going to stay up and start playing the guitar again, which I haven't done in over a year and a half.  All I have done for the last year is go to work and watch tv.  I am finally waking up and its great.  Sorry this is so long, I didn't realize how much I wanted to talk to somebody else sharing my experience.
Thanks for sharing your story.  It really does help.
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I'm glad you are doing well and going to play some guitar tonight, when I took the dogs for a walk a listen to my Ipod I swear music heals the soul. I just keep thinking about my brain and how hard it's working right now it's like it's being turned back on. I will say it hasn't been unmanageable yet I just don't want this to be a long drawn out process I can handle the mental part but the physical is what kills me. I could tell that my sleep is going to be bad I kept waking up last night. I have decided if it gets to bad I will just get up and do something. I just want to feel normal I think that is what we all want. I have a test to take online for a psychology class and then I'm hitting the tub, hope you have a wonderful night.
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My Dr told me that I shouldn't expect my energy to return for a few MONTHS!!! I want it back NOW lol... Really though I will deal with being lazy as long as I am doing it clean!!!! I am so proud of you!!!! You are doing a wonderful job! Stay positive and you are right music does heal the soul! I have been singing non stop all day and I am in the best mood!!!!
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I feel like crap I'm trying so hard to stay positive but it's like I'm in a cloud right now it's like I'm here and I'm not. I just hope my depression I'm feeling is here isn't to stay I so badly want to be my perky self I love life and right now I feel so sad and unhappy. My poor hubby he is trying so hard to keep me happy and comfortable not sure what I would do without him. I just feel like I'm not very useful. This is terrible how did I ever get myself into this predicament oh hey I fell and ruptured my disc's in my back, and I don't even if the back surgery went well I was on vics then subs never drug free since the surgery so who know's about that. I just keep getting mad at myself I want to be me again. Sorry for complaining but it's hard although my family is very supportive they don't understand what I'm going through.
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Good Morning friends slept all night I did take a .25 of xaxac (sp) and I slept from 10pm till now 8am. I'm on day 3 no subs I'm doing okay no were near what I excepted I am taking amdioum and tons of vitamins. My biggest complaint is the lack of motivation. I'm just really scared the storm is just beginning I love reading other post about subs and coming off but sometimes people scare the sh** out of you. I;m almost 72 hours in. Most people say about day 3 is the worst I just hope I can handle it. I will say sub is got a huge hold on me mentally the crying can be uncontrollable. One thing I keep saying to myself is"see life isn't that bad being yourself and feeling". I will keep you all up to date on my progress. Have a blessed weekend!!!
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I still have no motivation at 25 days! You are so not alone. You are doing great! Keep it up!!!!
Krissy
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Good job. We gotta do it for the little people in the world. I have to say Im only on day 5. Ive made over six weeks and relapsed. Whoops! Today is day 6! See the time will go by, you WILL feel better. I have to say getting clean for the little person in my life makes  me so proud of myself. Youll feel proud of yourself as well. People say good luck so do I. Its not luck at all.. Congrats on the HARD work involved. I remember having a month under my belt it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awesome. I was a MUCH MUCH MUCH better dad. Instead me spending money on crap and being tired as crap.ITS TIME GO TO THE PARK! CANT WAIT. Do it. If not for you. The little person. Congrats on that as well. This will give great joy and happiness I can tell you that.
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Hi. I wish you the best on your recovery from Suboxone. I was addicted to 10 to 12 norcos a day because of a surgery I had. I wanted to quit so bad. I know going cold turkey is the cleanest way to go but due to my profession I could not miss a week of work for that and plus I was really scared. I wanted to quit for so long but I was soo scared of feeling like crap. And then just going back because I felt too terrible. So I started the Methedone detox treatment. I'm not going to lie I was scared because I've read bad thing about it. But I'm on day 2 and no withdrawls I'm just so proud of my self for not taking any norco for the last 24 hours. I've been taking 10 to 12 norcos everyday for the past 3 years never went one day with out it. It was terrible. Instead of waking up and brushing my teeth or going to the bathroom I would first have to get water and take my pills. I'm still scared but I feel okay. And I feel so good to not be on norco. Not have to take a pill every 2 hours just to feel okay. You can all do it!! Be strong and you need to seek professional help to go off. Its so much better and the people at these treatment offices are great and understandable. I feel welcomed. It is a bit a mission to go everyday to get this treatment but its a sacrafice I'm willing to take. I also feel great I have people who support me. You need to have people there. Don't be a shamed this can happen to anyone. It is a disease just like Cancer. Good luck to all of you! And I will keep you all in my prayers.
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Thanks everyone for you thoughts. I'm a little sad right now two of my friends from high school died today and I'm really upset. One committed suicide and the other were not sure. Today is going well not feeling that bad. So far this hasn't been as bad as I thought I know I'm only 72hours in I;m feeling okay.
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Hey everyone I'm on day 4 still don't feel to bad I actually woke up this moring with a little belly, I just hope I'm not a late bloomer cause the only withdrawal I have had so far is a little yawning not much though, rsl at night, little spurts of sadness. But other then that it hasn't been tha t bad one thing I noticed was my back is really starting to hurt again but that could be my mind trying to fool me. Other then that I have been sitting here for four days thinking about how scared I was after reading horror stories I never thought I was going to function right. Don't get me wrong but I'm not how I use to be yet but my head is clearing up so much it's amazing.
I was on 8mg for 2 years then the last 41/2 months I tapered down to 2mg and jumped off. I had a very hard time weening below 2mg (I'm not the best at weening no will power). I know I have a long way to go but I made it to day four I just pray to God the worst is over. Hope everyone has a blessed Day. I'm going to go put some jams on and clean up the house.
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Reading these posts gives me hope for my daughter who is on a rapid Suboxone taper. She's gone from 12, 8mg pills a week to 11 pills a week and is now on 10 pills a week. She's doing really good so far. She reads a little on here, but stays away mainly because she is afraid of what she reads. She doesn't want to read how bad it's going to "suck" when she has to "jump off" as Krissy puts it. However, reading about Krissy's success and now Wanthissobad's success, I am hopeful that my daughter will be okay when she's ready to make her "jump".

The rehab center that she's going to is outpatient, and she has to ween herself off. She's like you, Wantthissobad.... she would not do well tapering.... so I'm the one who give her the medication. So far she has done really well. I've noticed a change in her since she came off the Roxicets (her DOC). She's not as moody as she once was and the color has come back to her face/skin. She's actually getting out of the house and doing more. I think she's done more in the last three weeks than she has in the last three years. She was always so bombed on the Roxicets that I don't think half the time she realized what was going on around her.

Anyway, I wanted to thank you both for sharing your experiences.. I'm also very proud of you both. I watched my daughter go through withdrawals once when she went cold turkey. It was heartbreaking to watch. She was in sheer agony for two straight weeks. Nothing would help her. I would stay up all night long with her while she cried, night ater night. It was the most horrible thing a mother could witness because I was completely and totally helpless. There was nothing I could do for her. Not being an addict, there is a lot I don't understand, but I'm trying my best to learn all I can and that's the main reason I am here.... To listen to others so I know.. And know what to expect. I know that Suboxone has a bad reputation, but I don't know if my daughter would be able to do this without it.

Again, I'm very proud of you both and very proud of all of you who have taken control over your addictions, regardless of how you did it.

Thanks again to you both and to everyone else who contributes to this wonderful forum.
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SWEET! Id do have to say the worst is over. Good job! Glad you feel better!
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Hi throwindatowl that's for the responds, do you really think the hard part is over the reason I'm asking is I'm on day 4 no diarrhea I'm sleeping just taking benadrly don't get me wrong but I keep thinking it hasn't began because I'm able to eat =, sleep and I'm  not running to the bathroom. I have a little anxiety but I take xanxac's for that don't worry don't like them never liked anything that me sleeping I just  use them when the anxiety is really bad I have the script for 1 year and never use them till now. I do get a little teary eye but I feel like I just have a cold I get run down easy but this hasn't been that bad. I also take vitamins and drink green tea and Camille tea. I just have been waiting for things to get worse but they really haven't I don't miss the sub at all. The biggest problem is I'm suffering a little depression. Any advise would be great should the worse be over or is it going to pop up on me. One thing I have done is I haven't stayed in bed once, I do have to sit down for cause I get run down but doing I can handle. I do get the yawns  but only in the afternoon. My mind feels clear more and more everyday.
Zuhli that for all the nice words it really makes me feel good to tell my story on here and complete strangers are helping me get through this. Your daughter will be okay you are a wonderful mother like my mom she has been through all of this and stuck by me. I hurt my back and that started my relationship with vicodin. For the last 4 years I have had opiates in my system sub is an opiate. This is a fight everyday and it is one the hardest thing I have had to do in my 32 years in earth. Just give your daughter the support she needs and patient.
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Good Morning everyone it's suppose to be 75 and sunny here in Michigan today yea!!!! So my hubby forced me out yesterday we went shopping for our daughters 16th B-Day it was for sure a struggling but I made it. I don't know what I would do without him he pushes me to my limits (in a good way) sometimes I don't want him to but he  never gives up. One thing I didn't do is lay on the couch all day I don't think I sat on the couch unless I was online, I told myself when this starts my life will be no different I have a family who depends on me so I made myself do all the work. I'm feeling better today so far just still a little week but I'm sure that will go away with time.
I bought some work out videos going to start those today. I just hope everyday gets better. Have a bless day my friends.
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I know I wrote a little bit ago but I feel so depressed is this going to be my life. Is my happiness over. I know this sounds stupid but I think my brain lacks endorphins before i took opiates I suffered depression. I was always quitting jobs, bouts of crying all the time, everyone irritated me. Then came vics and it was all over I landed an awesome job did wonderful bought my first home. Then I went on subs it helped like the vics but not the euphoria more like an alive feeling. I truly don't think I'm going to get that feeling back I don't think I will ever have that stability again. I know this makes no sense but I'm so scared it's day 5 I still feel like sh** I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. Oh God please help me!
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I feel horrible my emotions are all over the place I feel like this is it for me no more happiness in my life. I have damaged my brain and it is mush. I feel like the worse person on the earth.
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617347_tn?1331296681
Hang in :) ... it is really normal feeling so down but things get better... think that you are going through because you want a better life and you are on the right path... not lying on the couch as you have said is good ... exercise will boost your endorphines, eat a healthy diet , this is very important also for the mood... i will leave you here a link where you can find what food can help you with your mood and most of all, think that "this too shall pass " :)
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/231103/Tryptophan-and-food?personal_page_id=186524
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1455248_tn?1289058973
I'm so scared I have a decent relationship with my sub doctor and I texted him and told him the horriable withdrawals I was having he said I jumped off 2 high 2mg he just called me in some sub I want to go get it so bad. But I know my husband will be so mad at me he doesn't understand he think I need to just stop just don't do it. I don't think I have worked through my recovery I feel like I need to do it all myself. I want to run to that pharm right and take my meds. maybe I will be on subs forever I don't think I can do this I'm not mentally ready for this I think I will get it in the morning. I have another confession I have been taking ty3's to get through withdrawal and that didn't help at all. I don't feel ready I'm weak. I think that I need to get control of my life and go through therapy. I'm so confused right now. Please someone give some advise.
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1455248_tn?1289058973
I did it I was week and pic up my script and popped the pill in my mouth in the parking lot. I'm not going to think bad of myself I'm just not ready as soon as I stopped sub I popped a ty3 would have popped vics but didn't have any. So now I have to lie to my hubby he is dead set against me being on it, so I can't act "normal" he doesn't understand he has never dealt with addiction. I told him I'm an addict and he doesn't think so because I was prescribed it and he hates subs I don't know why but he hates them. They changed my7 life I was a mess before the sub it almost worked as a anti depressed I never wanted to use never one time. I can not do this alone I have to get back with my doc and meeting and therapy.
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Avatar_m_tn
HI....IF your going to stay on the sub for a wile use the time to work on your recovery
weather it be N/A or A/A  a substance abuse conslor or an addiction therapist get pluged (plugged) in somewhere both sub and methadone where designed to work with aftercare to build up your foundation so your strong enough to go off it when the time comes....if you where doing the t3s you never really detoxed and  only prolonged the withdrawals...sud is funny to come off of some people find jumping at 2 very doable with little withdrawals others go down to crumbs and struggle getting free from it....you dont know till you try...keep tapering down
work a program and it will be a little ezer for you next time you try....in the mean time keep posting for support we all want to see you succeed good luck and God bless....Gnarly  
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Thank you so much gnarly1 that is what I have realized these 5days off sub of sub. I have never worked out all my problems. Why would I ever think I can do this alone what abig mistake I need support I need people to understand. I was having all these horrble thoughts and let me tell u I felt bad taking the ty3's but that is still the addict in me if I would have had vics I would have gotten right back on the train. I'm not ready I haven't healed all the wounds that I have been masking with vics, I will continue to post and I will keep tapering. Thanks all of you.
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Please help me I made the biggest mistake yesterday and took 4mg of sub and 2mg today I don't want to take it anymore I was on day 5 will I be starting all over. I don't know why I did it. I guess I know why I called my doc told him I was super sick and he called me some in. I don't want to be on this meds I'm ready to be off and I don't want to see that doctor anymore But I was feeling so sad and depressed and couldn't take it. I wanted to feel normal. Please help If I stop now will it be like starting from the beginning? Please someone help me!
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Please someone answer this question do you think I could take a little sub like crumbs when I feel major withdrawal. The doc called me 30 in but I only filled 15 they are so expensive. This is the plan do you think it will prolong it or should I stop all together I can't take the depression.
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I don't know anything about Subs but hopefully someone will come along soon for you.
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1455248_tn?1289058973
Looks like DayToTry is the only one out there today, I have decieded to wean myself only giving myself little crumbs so the withdrawal isn't so mentally killing me. I take the physical but not the mental still looking for help anyone out there that can help me!
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617347_tn?1331296681
this is a slow time... most of the people are sleeping or waking up  :) I am here but i don't have any experience with sub so i can't help you, sorry. But it seems that you need to be ready for the mental battle yet , it is really tough, wanthissobad.... getting clean is easier than staying clean as we say here and for good reasons... you need some aftercare, this is a must ... hope you will feel better soon and someone can help you with your question.
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1455248_tn?1289058973
Thanks for the help, I was just thinking to myself I'm more addict to this stupid sub then I was to Vic they were so much easier to come off of. Like I said before it's not the physical part that truly was manageable. On day 5 I was starting to get so discourage because of the mental anguish. I was vics for 2 years with the last 6months of use being about 6 pills a day but truly my back was in a lot of pain and I was addicted. I want this so much and one of the reasons is I don't think I'm getting anywere with my sub doctor he would keep me on it forever if he could. He is the only one that prescribes it in the area. I just wish this nightmare is over. My hubby doesn't know that I'm back on sub. I don't know how he hasn't figured it out but he knows nothing about addiction. Well I will try back later.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm on day 4 of not being on suboxone- Saturday was my last day, I took 2mg and then 1 mg...I feel ok today, the things that kill me are the physical symptoms like tossing and turning, stretching and the RLS, I'm taking ativan for the anxiety and ti seems to help. Things will get better, but you have to be honest and open with the peole around you that are also committed to your recovery. Develop a stong support system, people who love and respect you. Things will get easier, just take them one day at a time.
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1455248_tn?1289058973
Thank you so much for the advise. I only told my mom I started taking the subs I took 6mg in two days. It's so weird how this drug works I didn't have to much physical it was very emotional for me. I'm back on the ban wagon. I'm going to ween myself a little lower over the next few days. I know I can do it, I can say reading some of the horror stories made it much worse then what it really was. Thank you again and i wish you luck. Have you tried vitamins? I have been taking them and I think they have helped look up the Thomas recipe if you haven't already. Please keep me posted I want to know your progress have you started a thread?
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1455248_tn?1289058973
Hello friends,

Just wanted to check in with everyone, hope all my new friends are doing well. I'm doing good I have myself weened down to about 1.75mg I plan on doing that for a few days see how it goes and just keeping dropping. I seriously can not take the mental part. Are there other's out there who did nothing but cry and feel hopeless? Does it go away? I can handle physical but the mental just about killed me.
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1454150_tn?1288131498
I am currently on subs also...almost a week now. Before I turned to the subs I was taking 20+ perc 10/oxy a day, so when I went to the sub doc he told me I could take up to 16mgs a day, but I decided to take 8mgs. split 3xs daily. As of yesterday I dropped my dose to 6mgs 3xs a day. So far so good!

I totally hear ya on the mental thing! I have been labeled "major depressive disorder with anxiety"...so that is my biggest fear too! I took the pills for pain but then I realized I had the added "benefit" of no depression...thought I had found my miracle drug...yea right!!

I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending strength and Blessings your way! The best to you...Lisa
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I thought I was the only who suffered from depression and thought I found the miracle drug what ever you do, do not stay on it long it off asap! I have been on it for 2years and the ones who don't suffer horrible withdrawals usually are the ones who only take it shortly. I want off so bad. Good Luck 2 u!
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Good Morning my new friends, still weening from the subs this ***** by the way lol. I hope everyone woke up today with positive thoughts and love in their heart. I wanted to share a few feelings I have been having lately.
Sometimes I wonder why I love the feeling that opiates gave me I wonder if it is because I knew my father was a heroin addicted and I seen drug abuse by him when I was younger? Why are so many of us a like on here? I mean think about it you can read everyone's story on here and most of us have similar ones and some are different but we all seem to have one thing in common I noticed we all are sensitive people who are really down on ourselves. Do you think that's why we love the opiates? It masks that sensitivity we all feel, does it make us feel stronger or not make us feel so we don't have to deal with our sensitivity? Why do I always think everything is my fault? I think this is what helped lead me to addiction. I'm so glad to be thinking about these things now to know I have a few things I need to fix. I need to learn to love myself sober and not think that I need to have that "pill feeling" just to go shopping or hang out with friends. One of my most fav things to do would be to get a coffee, starbucks or something like that and pop a vic and I was ready for my day. It was like the caffeine and the vic loved each other it gave me a great  buzz (I always found that weird). Sorry for rambling this morning but just wanted to write. Have a wonderful day everyone!
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Don't beat yourself up so much for not being able to jump from 2 mg.  My husband is on his THIRD jump from sub.  He never made it past a week with the previous attempts.  This time looks like a keeper, but he is an emotional disaster zone.  It really is shocking what sub does to emotions.

DH has detoxed more than once in his life - heroin and methadone and pretty much any opiate he could cram in his body - and he says Sub is Satan himself when it comes to detox.  But, we believed the glowing, no-pain, easy-detox BS the sub doc/ pusher had to say and here he is.  The Sub doc also gave him a few tylenol 3's after 5 or 6 days of Hell and they had zero impact on the withdrawal symptoms.  It's just really awful stuff for your brain to recover from if you've taken it for more than a month.

Gnarly is SO RIGHT when he encourages you to "work your recovery" and get some help while you're stable and before you jump again.  You need to have some more mental tools at your disposal to get through the detox and on the road to recovery.  Posting on an internet forum is all well and good, but nothing is as effective as the personal touch.

Have you thought about asking your husband to go with you to your next doc appointment?  Have you told him you're back on it again?  You're going to have to tell him before you jump.  He saw what happened last time and he will recognize the symptoms.  It's not fair to either one of you to keep this a secret.  

Addiction is terribly hard for the non-addict to understand.  Sometimes they just need to hear the facts from an "expert" in a white coat before it sinks in.  You know and I know and everyone else here knows it's not a matter of willpower and simply walking away from the pills.  It's mostly about killing emotional pain and then turns into finding enough of the drug of choice to be "normal" enough to get through the day.  Seriously, he should consider sitting in on a few Alanon meetings if for nothing else than the educational value.  

Seriously hoping and praying that this time will go much better for you.  :-)
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Hi,

I've posted to you B4.  I'm Jaybays Hubby and have to make this short because I feel pretty crappy right now, day 14 (?) with no Sub no nada after 1.5 years from 16 mg. to 3mg to jump off.  This is my second attempt and I WILL get there from here.  My first attempt I ramped myself down to 1 mg. daily and jumped off to to 0 for seven days.  It was no fun.  I caved and called the Doc.  He prescribed Tylenol 3's and more subs (sound familiar?)

I fired this Doc and found another with a good soul.  He is quite knowlageable and said some folks cannot get off using slow rampdown which was my case.  He had me on 3mg. maint., used me for a lab rat for something he had heard at a seminar.  He put me on 16 mg for three days, then one day at 8mg, to Omg.  It has something to to do with the ceiling effect of the drug.  The Docs still do not understand how this stuff works on the Brain.  It is Evil.

Attempt 2 has not been any fun at all, on the contrary.  But I can say that it is not near as bad as attempt 1.  Your emotions are part of WD.  I'm an old Biker and have cried my eyes out daily recently  We all have our reasons to use opiates/opiods, some cause they just like to get high.  Most though have an issue that the drug masks whether they realize it or not (myself included).  Please consider taking your man to your next Doc meeting.  Anyone that has no physical/mental experience with addiction will not get it.  

All the best.
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1455248_tn?1289058973
Good Evening,

Thank you so much for your responds. I feel so guilty right now for not telling my husband. He is so naive to the disease just got done telling me how much better I'm acting, and how well I did beating this (the subs) he is my best friends also and we keep no secrets from each other (except this one). It's so hard I have never really lied to him like this. He keeps telling me that a dumb doctor got me on this crap and I'm not an addicted, he says you hurt yourself and was on pain meds for a long time what do I think will happen. While I was going through the withdrawal I would just look at him and my children and just start crying because I'm the one that holds us all together and they were so lost without me. They were so worried about me I can't do that to them again. I'm so afraid if I tell my husband about the subs again he will be upset with me. I really just want to try to ween down super low and try to jump and try to hide. I know it's wrong and I shouldn't hide this from him but I'm so ashamed of myself. Why do I have to go through this? Why I can't I learn to feel "normal" or learn to feel it's like when I go into withdrawal I go crazy because it helps me feel again. I know I need to go to meetings but I started seeing a therpist last week he's okay but I don't feel he get's me. I know I need to tell him the truth but I don't want him to be mad at me. I'm just so upset and dissapointed in myself.
I hope your feeling better Wolf your almost free you should be so proud of yourself. And Jaybay thank you so much for the support you are really nice and made me think about a few things.
Take care my friends
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Happy Halloween everyone, hope everyone is having a safe and fun weekend. So I have been giving a lot of this whole suboxone situation and I have to get off this crap. I have a plan, when I tried to come off of subs last week it was horrible mentally for me. I could handle the physical withdrawals but the mentally just killed me. I can honestly say I don't think I can beat this fight with suboxne. When I was taking vics I stopped taking them cold turkey I was only sick for 3 days and by the 4th day I felt wonderful with subs I made it 6 days and day 6 was way worse out off all of them. I think I'm going to take vics to come off of subs, I know it sounds weird and I'm going to make people think I'm crazy but I have to get off of this drug and I can't do it cold turkey, has anyone out there every tried it this way? I need some input and if anyone has done it this way could you give me some input. Thanks
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I was hooked on subs for a year,,, i was so mad because like you said earlier vicodin is so much easier to get off of! I quit taking suboxone cold turkey in july...i would never ever suggest for anyone to do that. I seemed to be ok for three days and then- BAM- I lost out on a whole entire week of my life. It just so happend that I was on a trip and 5hours away from home. It was the worst experience i had ever been thru. It took me almost a month to get better, I still wasnt the greatest. Mentally, it took alot longer, I called my doctor and explained to him that he should have informed me a little bit better about this drug. Since then i have called the suboxone hotline a milllion times over- I think people should know that this is a very addictive drug...even more so then vicodin. I tried everything,,,vitamins...5hour energy drinks...these things really dont help.. I think you should find another doctor. One who helps! I think its also great to talk to people. That helped me out a TON!! Its been 4months for me and Im doing so much better. I found asking god to help me and asking people to help me really did just that. It helped me! Once your done with those, you will be soooo proud of yourself. You will actually be pissed that you didnt do it sooner! I wish you the very best,

prayers, ashley
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Good Morning everyone hope everyone had a safe weekend. I'm doing okay feeling a little down today. I woke this morning thinking I will never be free of these subs I know it. I'm a little disgusted with myself, my husband still doesn't know my lie that I started taking the sub again. I feel as I will never be free again and it's like I'm in a trap and can't get out. Why did I ever let this happen?
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Avatar_f_tn
Wow I have been reading all of it comments and it hits right at home every time I try to quit suboxine I can't take the depression I don't mind the body pain I just can't take asking my self why am I so sad I feel for you wantthissobad I know exactly how u feel My wife and I have been on subs for two years because of addiction to percocet we take a half of 8 mg pill a day it's alot better than taking 30 percs a day we have been trying to stop suboxine for two years now and it's so hard we have four kids together and the suboxine does make us not wanna do perks and it's cheap so even tho we are addicted we can still live a normal life and take care of are family you inspired me to try to quit thank you for comments never give up everyday is another opportunity good luck and god bless
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Avatar_f_tn
In 2007 my wife had kidney stones in her Back she was in alOt of pain her mom told her to go to a special doctor she prescribed 120 percocets and that's how are life changed forever these doctors dont know what there doing I never knew what addiction was I never took any kind a pill in my life before that I didn't even like to drink I was 25 when I started now am 28 my wife is 30 we been through alot together were just glad were able to take care of are kids and are money goes to important things and not script doctors who don't care what happens to you longest you help pay for there houses and cars does anybody know why we get so depressed when we try to stop I've never suffered from depression any thoughts would be appreciated
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This is a pretty old thread from 2010.  Go up to the top and click on the orange ask a question button.  Cut and past your comment there and you will start a new thread for people to see.  You may get missed on this old thread.  
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Avatar_m_tn
Krissy... I think your lying.
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Avatar_m_tn
Krissy... I think your lying.
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Avatar_f_tn
I been on suboxone and subatex for about 7 years I started getting a prescription then after I eneded up addicted I ended up injecting them and I still am injecting the subatex, I am goin to a detox/Treatment facility soon whenever a spot opens up 4 me, within 2 weeks, I am very scared also so tommorow I'm gonna start putting them under my tounge insted of injecting and then start to taper down as much as I can before I go, I live on a indian reservation where within the past 8 years the Suboxone/subatex abuse has risen to where its like a epademic here, its harder to get a doctor around here so on the streets one 8ml tablet of suboxon goes for $60 dollers, and one 8ml tablet of generic subatex goes for $70 and regular subutex goes for $75, that sounds ridiculous right, well on top of that I live in a fairly small town and seems like at least half the ppl here abuse suboxone or subutex, and since there so expensive and addicting the theft rate when up, houses are always getting robbed so they can go sell whatever they rob for the pill, the child abuse rate went up because when the parents are broke and can't pay 60 or 70 dollers every single day they get sick n take it out on there children, a lot of the new norn babies are comming out addicted, its really sad. I get my own prescription but I want to get off so I can come back and be a example that it can be done and try to help other ppl addicted, its sad because there is already a lot of poverty on my rez but since suboxon hit the crime rate went up so much and about 80% of the users inject, the hepatitis c rate is at about %80 percent for the iv users so this **** is really ruining lives and it does affect everyone here even the ppl who don't use, and to me that's why I had enough and I don't want to end up with hepatitis or something worse, plus I really want to help my ppl, I really wish suboxone and subatex never was introduced to this place, weird but off the reservation seems like other races can handle things a lot better and the addiction rate isn't as high, I wish the best 4 all u ppl tryin 2 quit goodluck
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Avatar_m_tn
How long were you on on it and how much?
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Avatar_m_tn
How long were you on on it and how much?
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Avatar_m_tn
I started on 18 mg of subozone a day and its crazy expensive. He has lowered my daily dosage 3/4 3xs a day. Why am I on so much more than everyone else? "I just want to be normal" I honestly dont know what that is. How can I get off all this stuff?
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