I'm back

[leahlee18]

Hi Medhelp Family,
I last posted on here in January when I was trying to quit off hydrocodone. I had gone 3 days but relapsed as a lot of people do.  I was living in Hawaii and they were prescribed to me for a herniated disc but I got a job in L.A.  and planned to moved California at the end of Jan so I knew I had to stop however I ended up buying them on the street.  So here it is 4 months later and I told my husband and my mom recently. I am taking a couple of days off of work next week to quit. I only have a few left so I am trying to stretch them out and Im wondering when my last one should be. I dont want to be at work not feeling good. I was thinking of taking my last one Tuesday and be home Thursday.  Anyway, I am glad that I can come here for support  I really appreciate all the advice everyone gives. I know I can do it this time.  

[leahlee18]

Thank you so much, that means alot!!
I love coming on this site, I always feel the love :)
I'll be posting every day because I know I'll need the support.

[Frogger76]

Hi!! Just wanted to offer my support and encouragement. As you know the next few days will be a challenging, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is you, the real you. Please stay strong, you can and will do this!!! Good luck and take care!

[leahlee18]

I may make an appointment with a counselor, I am in the process of finding one.  I also have gone to a couple of NA meetings and will continue that.  Gnarly, I agree with you.  I have to be ok with not being ok for awhile.  I only have 2 pills left, I gotta make it through work today and tomorrow and I will be off Thursday (I may work half day, not sure yet) but it's getting close to be done with these pills and having to deal with not feeling well for awhile.  I do not think my w/d will be too bad.  Last time I did this for a few days I wasn't that bad.  I think the worst of it is the RLS and lack of energy.  I went to the gym last night and I'm going to keep going as long as I can, I know working out will help.  Thanks for the support!!

[Krissy_123]

Hey leah,I remember you! I'm glad to see you back! I'm sorry to hear things went so far down hill and you started buying them illegally. But you're back and you have a plan,just focus on that!! Have you considered any type of  counselling or aftercare? If you were scared enough to go with out that you were putting yourself at risk to by off the streets then there are some real issues you need to deal with. We can help you here,but not like the help you can get in real life. Again I'm glad you're back!! xox  

[gnarly_1]

Hey girl  you seem determined and that is 1/2 the battle we are all praying for you  it is all up to you but ''you never have to use again''  pick up a case of gatoraid  some epsom salt for the bath and a buch of movies for the long nights  keep in mind this is 1/3 phyical and 2/3 mental so be ready to fight it out on both fronts  I have said this a million times but ''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile''   this to shall pass....attitude is everything  keep a positive attitude  it makes the difference in being uncomfortable or suffering  keep posting for support and let us all know when you jump  you got this......Gnarly

[TikkiTT]

This will be my sixth month clean.   I can't believe I didn't make a note of when I started, but I joined the forum in December and that was when I was tapering.   I just wish I had written down the exact day.   I do know that I spread the taper over about 3 weeks.   Sometimes I wish I had a pill....but I have always had such good health, and I tell myself how foolish it is to mess with something like that.   I come here and read mostly.   I am so touched by the kindness of the people here and how they reach out to help others.   Some of the stories I have read....that go back several years...haunt me because they are truly heartbreaking.   I wonder about the people and if they ever found their way out.   The success stories are wonderful too.   They really do help with motivation.

[PinkStars07]

Hi Leahlee!  Everyone is different...I was expecting the worst but I dont know if me telling myself every day, hourly, every minute,that I can do this!  I am better than this!  I want myself back!  I want to be the person I used to be, who didnt do this.  I prayed for strength and just kept myself busy.  Hot showers, Imodium, dayquil, Gatorade and water helped so much.  I took the Dayquil because I felt like I had a cold which I heard is common.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  Honestly, the first few days will not be fun, but remember why you are doing this.  PUSH YOURSELF!!!!!!  You can do this!

[leahlee18]

Hi
I never took a certain amount. Sometimes 4 a day sometimes 10, just depends on my day. I have been really bad lately though, taking too much. I wanted to taper but i havent been strong enough. I have 4 left. I am making my last one Tue or Wed since I have Thur off. I am preparing for the worst but Im sure it wont be too bad. I hope not. I just need it to be done. I go back to work next Tue, I hope having 5 days off will be enough, I worry it wont be but I have to make it enough. How long have you been clean?

[TikkiTT]

Hi Leahlee....welcome to the forum.    You will find a lot of support here.    How many a day were you taking?   I quit them twice.   The most I was taking was probably 6 a day, although I was prescribed 8 a day.   I quit cold turkey the first time, and a slow taper, the second time.   I was taking 4 or 5 a day, the second time.   I didn't need them...but I just hated having to go through withdrawals, so I was a little bit careful on how many I allowed myself to build up to.   I would say I was dependent, but not addicted, in that I was able to keep from abusing my prescription.    Here's something a little funny....like I said...I knew I needed to quit, but I was dreading it.   My doctor got some complaints filed against him, put on probation.   He couldn't write prescriptions for pain meds for a year.    He told me he would help me find another doctor, but I told him I would take this opportunity to quit.   It gave me the little shove that I needed.  I tallied up my pills...wrote out a schedule and strictly adhered to it.  Sometimes I wondered if it wouldn't have been better to do it CT again, but it wasn't nearly as bad the second time around, since I did a taper.