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Please be careful.
Peace.. Suzie
I have every intention to be off the hard core narcotics for my pain by the end of the month (June, that is)
I am regaining control of my life.
I am as strong as a horse, have all my hair and have genes of iron [My father is living, 97 and on no meds]. I am not religious, but I have danced with THE DEVIL and subsequently tossed him out of my life. He has made attempts to regain control, but has been repelled and is now on the run NEVER TO RETURN.
I refuse to go into depression! I am not afraid of death and was ready to face it if necessary. Not that I relish the thought of dying and missing out on precious life, my grandchild growing up or new scientific discoveries, but I was ready to go to the mat with this thing, whatever it took.
Hey, I also believe in the power of positive thinking!
Seriously, I have always been a rapid recoverer from the flu or surgery or whatever. I have convinced myself that this will also be the case with this unfortunate malady.
if that doesn't help then you would be looking at short term use of benzo's... klonopin is long acting and in my opinion a good choice... just don't let yourself get too used to them. i use them for anxiety and they have helped tremendously and i have not abused them once... nor do i take them everyday...
good luck to you,
amber
I'm simply NOT going to allow this to drag me down for weeks and weeks. I've decided I'm through with it and that's that.
Yes it is VERY possible your friend who is an addict will become addicted relatively quickly taking 12 norco's a day after surgery. Just part of how our brains work. It doens't take much, nor a long time.
Snowbunny- You can not come straight off the patch without tapering down to another med and then tapering again from there. It would be a living hell to just pull the patch off and call it quits. Fentynl is VERY strong.
Regards,
Chezz
Oh and one more thing... MY EARS ARE HURTING FROM YOU'RE YELLING YOUR POST OUT ON THE BOARD!~ Just making funny with you, Willow... I understand that some keyboards cannot type the lowercase, so I'm not going to assume that you actually MEANT to yell at us..... Hehehe
Jess
I am in Hour 126 of OXYCONTIN FREEDOM. After a busy morning and a short nap I decided to visit one of my favorite drawers of my big oak desk. One week ago this might have read the drawer where the pills are, but they are gone now. A few days ago this would have been unthinkable, I would have looked even more ridiculous crawling around my house in severe drug withdrawal with one of these, but I digress. Yes, only last Tuesday or Wednesday the prospect of doing what I have done today would be enough to make me burst into tears, but I have come a long way [baby].
I lifted the lid of my trusty humidor and selected one of my tasty Punch Rare Corojo Reds and headed outside. I was not prepared for the absolutely exquisite rebirth of my taste buds after three years of chemical dependency had apparently ravaged my senses. I have never enjoyed a cigar more as I set on the patio under the azure canopy of the Cosmos and contemplated my progress, time and the universe.
Not being a dualist, it is my firm conclusion that this life is the only chance we have in this universe. Compared to the great vastness of the cosmos, the ocean of deep time, my individual existence is a blip, a bubble in the foam on the surface of a flowing river. I am a momentary arrangement of atoms and molecules - an arrangement that lives and moves, to be sure, an arrangement that thinks, laughs, appreciates beauty, dreams, and loves - but a mere arrangement nonetheless, a transient state, an ephemeral gathering. Soon the blip will go out, the bubble will pop, the arrangement will dissolve, molecular bonds released by entropy. My consciousness will cease. But the molecules that once were me will still exist. The atoms that made up my body - iron, carbon, oxygen, and nitrogen, all the heavy elements forged in the crucibles of dying stars - will remain. Liberated from their temporary homes, they will rejoin the rest of the planet, taking new shapes, finding new arrangements, becoming part of other life. I will, in a sense, become merged with everything.
I will be the momentary sparkle of sunlight on the surface of a flowing mountain stream. I will be high in the stratosphere, near that ineffable boundary where life-giving blue fades to violet and black. I will be subducted into the planet's core and join the three hundred million-year cycles of the continental plates. I will be the intense red and yellow of a tree's leaves in autumn, the flash and swoop of a dragonfly's glittering wings, the sleek white bolt of a deer's tail, the brown feathers of a soaring hawk, the silver scales of a leaping fish. I will be in each drop of rain in a storm, each wave in the ocean, each breath of a newborn child. And billions of years from now, when our sun swells and blasts the Earth's atmosphere away, I will be there, streaming away from the charred remnant of the planet into space, to rejoin the stars that gave my atoms birth. In the fullness of time, I will become distributed throughout the entire cosmos.
Isn’t life wonderful and precious?
Be well,
EXPillman
Thomas
I spent the morning at the ER cos my legs, arms and face all have this reddish rash on them, and my legs, from the knees down are extrememly swollen The ER doc said I think you are having some reaction to the Oxy's and thought I should go back on the patch until I can see my pain specialist. Screw that! Anyway he got a hold of my doc on call, who said "no way" so I'm on prednisone.
Has anyone ever gotten a rash or swollen face or feet during wd's??
so it's been 6 days since I had the patch.(of course I cheated, but still, at least I'm not at my doc's office begging and crying for my Fentanyl, or saying my dog ate it.) I hope I can work this next week, I'm very spacy on these drugs, still being electrocuted on and off during the day, paranoid and anxious. but I don't feel so alone after reading all these posts.
As for reading comprehension, I comprehended that part of your post that meant anything to me and left the rest to others.
Ya know, you’ve done a great thing in stopping the oxy. I wish you all success in staying stopped. But if you relapse, and you surely know that that is more than a distinct possibility, you’re going to need all the humor you can find to climb out of that pit. It is my experience that if you don’t make friends with your addict self, it will forever dominate your life.
Besides, yours was the first post in a long while I got a jolt from. And for us 4-month clean recovering opiate addicts, literary jolts are precious things.
Now, common, when you first opened that drawer, didn’t you feel a delicious thrill? And when you surveyed that forlorn expanse, didn’t you feel a tinge of sadness?
And before you speculate on the health of someone’s neurons, you better be damn sure of your own. As you stated in your post, you’re only 126 hours from your last oxy stupor. When you have 4 months clean time, we’ll compare neurons. How’s that, old timer?
Thomas
Dear Thomas:
I may come as quite a shock to you, but not everyone who has a problem with PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE from an opiate is an addict. There is quite a difference between physical dependence and addiction, BUT the brain does not know the difference and you will suffer the agony of withdrawal.
As far as humor goes, I will applaud it only when I see it.
So far I haven't seen any from you, but nonetheless, I'll keep an eye peeled.
As far as my chance of relapse? It is ZERO and you can take that to the bank. If you want to cross swords with me, fine, but I lectured on pain managment for 20 years in my other lifetime and am quite knowledgable. I am a living testament to the fact that drug dependence can happen to ANYONE and we have a serious problem managing pain without this inevitable dependence.
Good day
You had better sharpen your sword!!!!!
Thomas is getting FIRED UP!
Be gentle Thomas :]
James
Thomas
i hope your withdrawls are not to severe.
your clever humanistic diatribe on death is
not my cup of tea, but it was very creative.
your mention of cracking someones knuckles
reminded me of my childhood and getting wacked on the
knuckels because i was left handed, the nuns did it untill
i became right handed
i can not wait to read some of your upcoming post
if they are as interesting as the last one.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy
A pain patient is physically dependent on their pain medicine to control their pain just as a diabetic is dependent on their insulin to control blood sugar.
Addiction is psychological dependence and is defined as a compulsive drug use characterized by a continued craving for an opiond and the need to use the opiod for effects other than pain relief.
Important- Often legitimate pain patients MIMIC addictive behaviour because of poor management of their pain, NOT because they are drug addicts. This phenomena is known as iatrogenic pseudoaddiction and such patients understandibly try to manipulate the system in order to get ADEQUATE pain relief.
This is a tragic situation and exists because of poor knowledge of pain control and the lack of a genuine drug group to treat moderate to severe, non terminal pain, without drug physical dependency.
That's the thought for the day, folks. Questions are welcome.
EXPillman
I do not consider myself an addict, but was physically dependent on Oxycodone. Others may have differing opinions. I am a strong person and was strongly motivated to quit cold turkey off of a dose that ranged up to 240-300 mg per day over a period of 3 years.
My question #1 to myself is: If there had been oxy in the house during day 2-3 of withdrawl, would I have broken down and used it to stop the awful sensations of withdrawal?
Question #2, does tapering work?
Here is my opinion. To question #1, the answer is an unqualified YES. I think that the urge to end the agony would have been irrestible. It if for this reason that I "cleaned house" before I started.
To question #2, I would say yes in theory and no in practice. Maybe I'm old fashioned about quitting, but I think cold turkey is the only way to go. It is painful, but makes a clean break. I tried to taper down and quit several times, but failed. It was totally a MENTAL breakdown in motivation and compliance since the cold turkey option was still there. Once you "clean house" and get rid of your pills, you are committed and there is no turning back.
I welcome any and all opinions on this matter.
"If the Russians used hydrocodone control rods at Chernobyl, would I go snorkeling in their reactor?"
"Would I cut out my own liver and use it to distract a pit bull guarding a hospital narcotics strong box?"
Abso-fuckin-lutely!
And, does tapering work?
Sure, as long as it aint me doin it!
Seriously, I am like you in that I can't abstain when there are any narcs in the house, whether to detox or taper.
I generally advise people to do a cold turkey detox, but some people can't get the down time away from work or family to weather it. In those cases, I urge people to find a tapering partner they can trust, draw up a precise tapering schedule, and, along with their tapering partner, sign it like a performance contract. Still, easier said than done.
Thomas
I am in hour 136 of OXYCONTIN FREEDOM. Reality visited me this morning as I awoke and fully expected to see Dorothy, that ankle-biting Toto and the Straw Man with the Oil Can. All the pain I have is still here, I had shunted it into the recesses of my brain as I dealt with more pressing issues, i.e., detoxing myself from Oxycodone.
The contracts are a great idea, we did that all the time back when I was in Pain Management. It was especially important with abusers, the ONE DOCTOR ONE PHARMACY contract, it sealed a bond of trust between the doctor and the patient. The doctor agreed to provide adequate pain relief and the patient agreed not to doctor or pharmacy shop. Health care professionals were instructed to keep good records of pain assessment to adequately treat the patient and to COVER THEIR ASS.
One of the big roadblocks was fear. Fear of addiction. Fear of regulatory agencies. And for the patient, fear of running out of much needed medications and/or being denied or cut off. Many, many physicans simply refused to deal with pain patients at all, a very tragic situation. People were turned away as if they had some sort of self-inflicted leprosy. PAIN?? UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN! GO AWAY, GO AWAY.
This was 10 years ago, but I would imagine that not much has changed.
EXPillman
Hope you are well- Nod
I am personally going with the tapering and I am starting to think I am just kidding myself because eventually when the pills are really all gone for good for ever I am scared ****, but then I read expillmans posts and feel that maybe I can do it. Today is just a bad day . It is raining out and I feel very blah and I would love to just eat pills all day and watch TV. But I am not going to do that for I want to beat this and I cant control the weather and I will not use the weather as an excuse " oh its raining so I need to get higH" I swear I wont. I am going out for the day and I am going to keep on trucking. Again both of you are so helpful. Get your **** together and you two could be a powerful force against this BS addiction we all live with. People like you two are what we all need. I know not everyone will agree with me but I find both of your posts helpful- except when it is bullshit bickering about who is stronger or who is the correct one or who knows more. Who cares??? Your both great
the words (I'LL BE TAKING QUESTIONS) , i do find it
hard to swallow, im sure the people who have posted this
phrase mean well, but it show's thier arrogance, and arrogance
is just a mask for low self esteem.
we are all in this together, it is best to set aside our
differences and come together as equals.
there are more then a few people here at the fourm
who are very well informed, i have learned a lot from them.
one thing addicts really have a hard time with is being contradicted, or spoken down to.
this is a fourm where we share our experence of getting
off the pills and going through the withdrawls.
there is also the part of the fourm where there are those
that have to take pain meds for pain management.
willow i agree with you , we all need to be kind to
each other , and treat each other with respect ,
and not speak down to anyone.
we can leave our resume;s at the door.
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hippy
i was thinking about you the other day.
i know your busy with work and all, but
don't give up on trying to get clean,
you have so much to offer, and a lot to lose.
keep in touch.
peace!!!!!!!!!!hippy
Good luck to everyone and find your peace.
EXPillman
This is a post to Debbie33.
You can't stay on Methadone for a long period of time safely???????????
There are people that have been on it 20 years, some more.
MrMichael would have more info on this. I just thought this misinformation should be brought to your attention so you don't continue to pass it along.
Regards,
Chezz
Thanks for your endless contribution to the education of medications...
You are well respected here for that...
Chezz
Kip and Hippee are both my good friends. They care passionately for the addict who still suffers. You couldn't find two finer gentlemen. If they stick you, stick em back. Hey, I'm Irish/German so you know I'm always game for a good dustup!
Stick with us. You have a lot to offer. You’re obviously knowledgeable and experienced, you have a disciplined mind and your prose is irritatingly precise. In any event, you can do a lot of good here.
Besides, don’t you want Kip to tell us how he knocked over all those juicy pharmacies? Inquiring minds want to know!
Thomas