I'm out of control and need help

[missbhaven24]

  I have been taking hydrocodone for 12 years and I am 29 years old. I take around 200  milligrams a day at least. On top of that my doctor prescribed me xanax for my anxiety issues and now i am addicted to this drug as well. I am a functioning drug adict. I go to work, have children that I'm actively involved with and a husband who is great but he also suffers with the hydrocodone addiction. His will power and strength far surpasses mine. I'm always the one who "pushes" him to take them with me because it gives us energy and relieves our pain so we can be more active with our kids. I am to the point where I want and need to stop. I know my husband can do it without help but I cannot. I've tried numerous times and each relapse increases the amount I take. I am at a loss with myself and need some help. I am scared sick to tell my doctor or to call an outpatient facility or anything because I'm worried it will jeopordize my childrens well being. I'm afraid if any authority knows of my problem they will take my angels from me. I could not survive but fear if i do not quit this use right away I will not survive either, I just am seeking advice from someone who has been in this position and been successful. I am looking for a safe way to stop using these medications. Can anyone help me?

[Ga Guy]

Your best chance at long term sobriety and clean time is a rehab facility based on a 12 step program. It sounds like you're open to this idea. Please, do not be afraid...the state will not take away your kids for trying to get well. Plus, the records at these facilities are confidential. Just remember, trying to get clean in an "using" household will be nearly impossible. Your husband must quit as well.

[123456m]

suboxone treatment, and methadone treatment, are just another drug you will have to kick. They have there own dangers which are many. Now I do agree with you in part about the 12 steps but there are now differnt kinds of therapy that in adjunct with getting clean help a lot more.
Unless your a very hard user its a very dumb thing to do to go on these meds.
Because for a addict mind once you spend months or years detoxing from these meds the beast inside your mind is still waiting for the next fix. That is why aftercare is so important these meds will not keep you clean only you can do that
Peace

[tweekie]

I think 200mg is a lot, how do you take so much without overdosing on tylenol? I think that you need some sort of a support network. For some people NA or AA works because of that. Not all meetings are bible thumping. I guess it depends on the state you live in, bible belt, yada ya.  NA and AA are good in the fact that these are anonymous meetings, so you don't have to be afraid of the state coming in and invading your home.  It may help you get over the initial hump of kicking the habit. But being that your on a lot of hydrocodone, you probably should first wean down and if you can't do it check in to a detox if possible, a hospital, you don't have to tell them **** about being a mom, just go there to detox. There are very strong laws that prevent anyone accessing you medical records that aren't authorized by you.  I think if warrented you may even opt for a short term rehab, but know they will probably expect you to go to NA meetings once you are out, and also to an Outpatient where they will check your urine for drugs.
Also, they go by the whole complete abstinence thing, no drugs, no drinking too. Complete sobriety. So be ready for that.
Hope that helps!!

I'm a mom too. I know what your going through.
Good luck to you. You can do it!!