In addition to meetings, what else?

[jifmoc]

And what I mean is, I have an entire life to "clean up" get back to working more, social life, etc. Right now I have a lot of free time. (Looking for work, you have to time manage etc.) And new sober life can't just be a meeting a day, and looking for jobs, and taking my dog for walks and going to the gym.

Since money is VERY tight, what are the other changes to make during the other 23 hrs (1 hr for a meeting)?  The fact that I JUST lost my Mom makes this doubly hard, too. So, I have to keep active. I just am not sure what to do. And it all seems so BIG. Having trouble w/ "Just for today." I don't see my life changing even though everyone tells me it will. I do read this board CONSTANTLY, so that does help. But honestly, the boredom and blah is very difficult. I know it's normal, but it's HARD.

So, what else? Any experience I would love to hear about.

Btw, A year ago I got clean, did it all on my own,eventually started using again and almost got back to where I was, but I caught myself in time. So I am not brand new if that makes sense.

[Gettingalifeagain]

I love Weaver's post.  SInce coming home from treatment, I have discovered things that I never thought I was able to do.  And, this is because I had time available to me, (away from home, work  and just time for discovering me).  I learned that I could sketch, and am now using art as therapy.  I have discovered gardening again, and I work in a garden centre.  And, I am going back to church again.  
As Weaver said, I am making NEW memories, and seeing the world sober.  Every morning, I think I am a new me, and have another life ahead of me.  I live in the present, and am trying new things, even if it feels awkward or uncomfortable, I push myself through the barrier of fear.  You are doing great!  Be proud of yourself...

[jifmoc]

The Addict monologues sounds so much more interesting than the Vagina monologues!:)

[IBKleen]

Service work is a great idea and I did it for a long time but there is a time requirement with it. But not for setting up chairs, etc. The time requirement is for going to institutions, etc. Still, getting to understand H&I is great and then when you ar ready you will be that much further along. I also have to suggest that you get more involved like others are saying. Don't just go to the meetings..get involved. Go to picnics, dances..whatever they have. There are conventions and so much more. Counseling is also another great suggestion. I am not coming up with anything new..lol Keep yourself busy and don't let yourself get lonely. There is a saying..never let yourself get H.A.L.T. Hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Whatever you do just don't use.  

[Heather8448]

its ok to be alone but NA is NEVER ALONE NEVER AGAIN!
look at the back of the meeting schedule make the committee meetings, arrive early set up chairs take chairs down after meeting. thats service.
also I know here the help lines, and hospitals and institutions are always in need, as well as the fund raising committee,
step work!! do step work!!!!

[lulu747]

When I first got clean all I did was service work.  I volunteered at a women's centre for 8 months before I was strong enough to open my business.  It was the most amazing thing I have ever done and i continue to volunteer doing art and theatre projects with these women who are coming off living on the street, abuse survivors, and addiction.  We wrote a series of monologues called The Addict Monologues and performed to sold out crowds.  It was eye opening for all of us and our community (:
You're on the right track lady.
xo

[jifmoc]

Godd***m are you smart! You are so articulate and erudite and just wise in your writing, it astounds me. I used to pride myself on being that person but, man, you impress me.

[jifmoc]

Lulu, you knew it? Must be all the drama in the writing, huh? Anyway, yes, another great suggestion. Also Heather above you, yes, service work, I went to a meeting last nite and asked for a commitment but they were taken but I can keep asking. Hanging out w/ other temporarily unemployed sober people, there's an idea! Thank you so much:)

Btw, I used to HATE the word "lonely" I found it so weak. I never in my life used to call myself that. But, that is the word that fits during these times. And I have to replace what was the pills now w/ real life.

[lulu747]

hahaha You're an actress I knew it!!!  Takes one to know one (:
Well get your butt to an acting class or an improv night.  You know actors are great to be around and should get your juices flowing again.  I know it's scary but you'll feel SO good afterwards!!!  This I can PROMISE you.  I teach acting in a way that is similar to therapy.  A lot of my students are addicts in recovery etc.  I am sure you will find some kindred spirits in these rooms.  Getting clean helped me SO much in becoming a better actor.  I am FEARLESS now.  When you walk through the fires of hell of addiction and come out the other side it is pretty damn empowering.
Keep posting girl.  You've got this.
Lu

[Heather8448]

Have you thought of service work? get in contact with aa/na maybe see what you can do to help, on my days off i hit 3-4 meetings a day if i can, get numbers and see if anyone else isnt working, maybe you guys can go to the park or out for coffee...stay busy
I joined the registration committe for the conventions, I also help plan dances, and sometimes my friend who doesnt work we go to het house and watch movies....your never alone just reach out

[jifmoc]

I'm going to re-read every single suggestion and really let it sink in. Thank you, everyone. And btw, I moved here to LA to become an actress (that's my biggest passion) and after having a tad bit of success, I played w/ the fire that is norco and the rest is history. Sickening to think of the wasted years. But, I can't dwell on that.

Oh, and thank you Lulu for the grief counseling idea; I find that I am irritated a lot and probably need even MORE help right now.

Btw, got back from a meeting tonight. Love to hear the horror stories and then folks coming back from the brink. That's never boring!

[meegWpaw]

I think it sounds like you are doing great too ... idk if I can help you but I keep rereading your post and trying to remember what I used to do when I first got clean and was out of work.  I agree with Lu, the Artists Way is a super book and gives a lot of concrete tasks to do, on a schedule, its nice ... and on that tack I think structure was key for me during that time.  Every day I would do the same thing :  get up, work out, shower, get dressed, clean the house, go out to Starbuck's, write, and then look for work. ... sticking to the same schedule every day really helped me.  I think I might have been going to meetings in the evenings ... keep going, post here, and stay strong!!!

[lulu747]

You ARE doing great.
What I would recommend is some specialized grief counselling.  Here in Canada this is offered for free through hospice.  I'm not sure if it's the same in the US but I would look into it.  The meetings are awesome but you could really benefit from some grief support- perhaps actually a grief support group in addition to NA.

And yes, hobbies.  For me- I went back to my art.  I had completely walked away from it in the years I was laid out by illness and subsequent addiction.  The BEST part of me getting clean was my creative juices flowing again.  The year after I got clean I directed several plays, wrote a novel, and opened a theatre school!!!  It was like after all those years of numbing my creative spirit I had some major back log!  It was such a miracle to have this come back to me and I haven't stopped since.  Everyone is an artist in one way or another, try some things on and see if it ignites you.
This passion I have is my life force.  And in some ways I believe it's what keeps me sober more than anything else.  It is my life line.  My art has always been my haven, my solace, ever since I was a child and began ballet.
Do some journaling and maybe something will come to you.
I highly recommend a book called The Artist's Way.  It is a book filled with activities and daily meditations that is for EVERYONE and helps you connect with your artist within.
I'm proud of you doll.  Keep it going
xo
Lu

[Defco]

As ActingBrandnew posted once, you'll have to start finding hobbies YOURE interested in because those will help motivate you to keep doing it and your brain will start enjoying those activities again. what did you do before? sports? painting? I think there are interest groups in most cities you could find online or at the city center.

I think its wise to pick up a hobby that's relaxing as well. as a counter to relapsing it might be good to fall back on this for the long term care.

Weirdly I have been feeling relaxed with the hot tub. As I sit in the hot tub, I am unplugged from technology and my phone which gives me some silent time and lets me constantly prioritize my life. I plan on using this in the future when I feel an emotional relapse coming to help me keep my addict mind in check.

I love the others advices on here as they are great suggestions too!

[weaver71]

Because of the my nature, I buried myself in learning. A teacher recommended I start a library about recovery and the science if addiction. When I felt bored or stagnant, I open a book and learn one new thing. If nothing else comes up, I learn a second thing. The book, "Feeling Good," by Dr. David D. Burns really helped me learn what to do with the free space in my mind. Even when I am active, I still think and think about everything. I have to stay out of tunnel vision nor obsess with all or nothing thinking. Constructive thinking bears fruit and a good life. Self defeating thoughts come easy. Cognative behavioral therapy has helped me to maintain a Big Picture. When we see our life as a whole, drugs make no sense.

Gardening, journaling, meditating, go walk in the park. Practice seeing the world sober. Relive any dream or redo so etching you wish you hade done better. What is your passion, what inspires you? Seek it and you will find it, and do that! Start making new memories, see live music sober. Chat in the coffee shop sober. Keep making new memories.

[jifmoc]

Thank you for telling me I am doing great. I really need the compliments right now (instead of the ones the pills give me.) Yes, like, duh, of course I feel like I have free time because calling, begging for refills, texting dealers, waiting, meeting dealers, coming up w/ excuses to go to the dr. early takes up a whole lotta time. Dang, that's a full-time job.

Thank you for your suggestions. Yes, reading, good one. Like instead of just staring blankly at the TV. Or watching the movie "Flight" and "Requiem for a dream" totally on pain killers. Great idea, huh?!:)

[Sonrissa]

Hi there, you are doing great. I understand how you feel. I went through the same thing. What to do? I had spent so much time focused on pills. Getting them, taking them......  I found that while I was taking pills, I neglected so much in my life. I stopped doing things I liked, isolated from friends and family.  Maybe try to do some reconnecting. Resume a hobby, etc.  For example, I had loved to read. When I was taking pills, reading became almost impossible because I couldn't focus. Since quitting I have been reading so much. I love it again.  I also try to work on projects around my house. I really neglected it badly. So, I will tackle cleaning a closet, cleaning out my pantry, trying to organize my garage, etc.  It's been kinda slow going, but I am making some progress.

I hope that helps. Keep it up! All the best!