In the middle of withdrawl, need help!!

[G'Kar]

I

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

My mother is a retired RN. Need I say more? She still does volunteer work at the VA. They just love her!  J.B.

[cindi]

LOL  you crack me up,,,old worldly woman,,,that's me  LOL... I suppose you could say I have been witness to a few events....and involved in several...alot of good and bad things have happened in my life....however,,,I can honestly say that everything that has happened I truly believe has happened for a reason...and one real reason is that I can learn and share my experiences with people,,,and even my strength when I feel I have it,,,and my hope and faith which thanks to people like you is becoming stronger again....and JB my friend...there is good and bad in all professions....and I like to think that in my 20 year career I have been mostly good.yeah I faltered,,,my disease had a very strong hold on me,,,,but I was stronger.....at least I like to believe that I was good in what I did for other people. I love people and I think that everyone who knows me on this forum knows that about me...Nursing is a very stressful profession....however  it does take alot of concentration and undivided attention and that was something I was not able to do when I was using...my judgement was clouded,,,hell, I would fall into peoples beds at times from losing my balance...that was pathetic..no I am not proud of all of that..I am not proud that I stole peoples pain medication...I would kill if someone did that to me....but i try to find the good in that by saying that I did manage to at least give them something...which was also very dangerous...so that to was pathetic.. ..and my fear is that I am not strong enough bo be around all the narcotics....so at this time in my life my family is far too important for me to risk anything....thanks for your input...love to all  cindi

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I've had more than a little exposure to the hospital with my wife undergoing chemo. I have witnessed nurses taking patients pain meds first hand. The girl who changes the morphine cassette is but one example. All I can say is that it goes with the territory. I'm not going to flame anyone about this. You women deserve a lot better than you get in my opinion! Men, too. Let's just all be thankful for the wonderful job that your profession does. Yes, I have met some pretty awful nurses but......that's life.  J.B.

[Angelica]

.....Wow cin!  As I said before,  you've been there and back again.  Is there anything you haven't seen or experienced in this life of complexity? What A woman of experience, and knowledge, you are.  I feel I can talk to you about anything...
Love,
Angelica

[cindi]

The problems came into being when I started diverting from the hospital,  giving the patients substitute pain meds that were not even ordered for them such as taking their demerol and replacing it with stadol etc...using to the point where I was in a blackout...not remembering I was at work...this for me became very dangerous...I was way past the point of taking something to relieve my stress....I know plenty of nurses that take something to relieve their stress but do not have a "problem" per say...I got out before it killed me....and no, I never had any shame of being who I am....but...I was facing a lengthy prison term...not for me...not at the expense of my kids and husband...so, my drug use did interfere with my job,,it scares me to think that under the influence I could have made a grave mistake that could have cost someone a life I had no choice but to stop the problem,,,,many nurses do not feel they have a problem.and they may not... or they may...not for me to say...and the same one that felt he needed something to relieve his stress,,,was the one I found in the bathroom, respiratory arrest, Prn adapter hanging out of his arm...empty syringe.. ended up on a vent....alot of us cannot control our use...and then it does interfer...You are one of the lucky ones...good luck

[nurseebol]

High stress, so many people in need of care,
who takes care of us?
I'll be damned if I am ashamed that a little bit
of narcotics helps me be more pleasant to my patients.