Information help anything out there

[undonemom]

My son has been addicted to every sort of drug for 15 years. I have used every penny that he hasn't stolen from me to put him in rehabs. Nothing has worked. I can't take watching him destroy everything in his path anymore. Zanax and methadone are his drugs of choice right now. Where can I go in TN for help for him? What can I do? He has 3 wonderful small children who are in danger.

[kim715]

Is he going to a clinic or doctor or is he getting them off the street? I was on methadone,it's a rough drug to kick but it is doable as long as you want off of it bad enough.Does your son want to get clean? Not to scare you but methadone and xanax is a dangerous mix,especially if he is getting them off the street and self medicating.There are a few people here who are real good at helping members find treatment centers in their area.I'm sure someone will be along to help you with that.Keep posting....Kim

[MontanaGurl]

I am sorry to hear what you are going through.  Ultimately, you cannot cure your son's addiction, it is up to him to take charge and until he does and actually wants to quit than there is nothing you can do.  But, I know as a parent, we will go through he11 and back for our children.  

I had gone through a similar situation with my step son.  We had tried everything to get him to stop.  To make my really long story short I will just get to the bottom line and if you want to know any details - please let me know and i will tell you.  We tried everything and anything and after about 8 years of fighting with him ( he didn't want to quit ) I took drastic steps.  I had gone to the court and petitioned them to have him declared incompetant of controlling his life and in that same court documen I asked that he be committed to a long term facility for 6 months, when he gets out of treatment that he have court ordered aftercare and alot of other stipulations.  So, this is what happened.

I got the court order I asked for and he spent a good solid 3 weeks handcuffed to a hospital bed while he went through detox, than for his own safety he sat in jail for a month until we found a facility that was long term and fit his needs and could get him in.  Than he went from the jail to the facility for 6 months.  When he got out he had court ordered aftercare and had activities to keep him busy 7 days a week (do them or go to jail for contempt of a court order), weekly therapy sessions with a therapist, weekly drug tests and I made all his decisions for him.  Of course he hated me with a passion for doing that to him but, I told him if I didn't care I would just let him continue and kill himself but, I wasn't gonna go that, he could hate me for the rest of his life, just as long as he was alive to hate me.  He did what he was told because he was afraid of jail, cause he knew I wasn't fooling around and would send him back to jail in a heartbeat the first time he messed up.  Oh - we also had a court order and restraining orders for him to stay away from certain people, and they were all served with the court order as well as the restraining order.  And since almost all of them were drug dealers they didn't want to risk getting busted or going to jail, so the stayed away from him and wouldn't even try to talk to him.

He is clean to this day and doesn't hate me anymore.  I just figured if he didn't want to get off of the pills, than I would make it so hard for him to get them and keep him away from them long enough to maybe change his mind.  

I know that that sounds like a really drastic thing to do but, that is my story.  Any questions or comments - please let me know, I will answer all questions.

Lillian

[dominosarah]

There is another mom from TN on this forum.  I will send her a pm and see if she can give you some suggestions........sara

[scaredmom330]

Hi Undonemom,

I also live in TN and have a son addicted to soma and alcohol. I sent you a pm. please stay in touch and if I can do anything to help please let me know


scaredmom

[dominosarah]

there you are scaredmom!!!  Thanks girl........

[scaredmom330]

Not a problem, sarah, am a little bit slow here lately. lol

[Shelwoy]

unfortunately, until he is ready - he is not going to stop. When he grows tired of the game, he will be ready to get help, but nothing you do, no amount of money, or facility is going to convince him to stop. Addiction is far more powerful than anything else in life, and the most difficult to understand.
The only thing that may be helpful is getting the police involved.If he has consequences, that may work.