Intervention

[JTL211]

Help please-- Just found this site----we (family) are going to try to do an intervention tomorrow with a family member.  I am afraid of what will happen.  She is on Xanax and alcohol.  She has alienated her family and is sleeping and drinking her days away.  any advice (ASAP) would be appreciated.

[gizzy32]

I sent u a message, check your pm's.

[JTL211]

Well. Intervention failed-- I think.  Maybe helped her to realize we cared about her and wanted her to get help.  She is trying to make this look like a physical problem, which I think is the way it started.  Now, though I think she has gotten so used to taking a pill and a drink and sleeping on the couch all day that it has become a way of life for her.  She would not let us take her for help.  Said she was doing better today-- she has severe diarreah and vomiting--on and off.  She looks terrible-- has lost 30 lbs.  real skinny legs and arms-- middle body is fat.  Face bloated and red.  I smelled alcohol on her this morning when we got there and there was a glass on the deck with remains that smelled-- don;t know if it was from last night or this morning.  She had nothing while we were there (7 hours)-- unless she had some hidden.  She had eaten an apple this morning--before we arrived at 9:00-- then she had half of a yogurt drink.  We tried and tried to get her to eat something-- said she was not hungry and couldn't keep it down.  We had her outside for a couple of hours and distracted (she would not leave the house to go for lunch)-- she seemed fine, then back in the house and immediately began vomiting and diarreah.   Any help?

[JTL211]

Thank you all. Hope she will get help tomorrow.  

[lady67]

Don't go about it in anger.  You want to set boundaries on what will happen if she doesn't go into treatment, but do it in a loving way, not a threatening one.  If you do this, she will get defensive and usually that makes it worse.  Let her know that you love her, but you don't love her on the pills and alcohol.  Tell her that even though you love her, you can't continue to participate in her life if she doesn't seek help because it hurts you too much to see her ruining her life.

Good luck, and always tell her about this site.  I don't have NA where I live, but I have found that this is a wonderful form of aftercare.  People on here can tell when you are sincere and when you are feeding them a line of (r@p.

[OnOxyfor10yrs]

Do  you have a treatment plan for her or are you "winging" it? Just wondering!

[JTL211]

You are  right-- she has not hit "rock bottom"-- but we are trying to reach her before she gets there--- but I don't think it's too far away.  

[OnOxyfor10yrs]

When I have mental cravings, I watch intervention, re- run after re- run to remind myself that it is me on the show. They give great tips on the show and ALL the interventionlists are ex-addicts. Have your letter ready to tell her how you feel b/c interventions get quite emotional and you may forget impt things to tell her. Tell her she is not "alone" and that this is a "family" disease and you can't live without her. The "KEY" component is to stick to what you say to her. If you tell her that if she refuses treatment, then you will do xyz. This is crutial. Don;t make empty threats. She has not hit rock bottom I am only guessing. Do you have a treatment program in place for her? B/C Addicts will do ANYTHING to buy more time to ge that last" over the top high" they can get. She must agree to go to treatment directly following the intervention or it may jeopordize her recovery. If you don't have a treatment plan, get one quickly b/f the intervention. Watch the show. If you have Comcast Cable on Demand watch the show. It is under "TV Entertainment" , then go to A&E. They have a few on alcohol this month. If you don't have the cable, then google the website. I watched a show yesterday on alcoholic parents. Make sure you click under "full episodes". Best of luck to you. If you can't find the site, respond and I will send you the link.



L

[JTL211]

Thank you, thank you

[kim715]

I think gizzy gave you the best advice anyone here could.I just wanted to wish you all the best and I agree watching intervention tonight may help you formulate a plan on how to approach the issue.I believe the subject matter is about alcohol tonight.Good luck to you and your family.

[gizzy32]

I think interventions are a great idea when someone won't admit they have a problem or get help. The key is to get this family member to admit they have a problem and get them into treatment, counselling or meetings. Have you ever watched the show intervention on A&E? it's on tonight at 8 and 9 pm and could be helpful to watch and see a bit how it works. I hope it goes well tomorrow and make sure it's not all about blame and picking on her, even if she deserves it. She also needs to take responsibily for what she has done to herself and her family. Best of luck and let us know how it goes.