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Is It Really Worth It ?????
Three pills a day - big deal right. I have plenty of life-long scripts. I'm tired of being ill, no energy, no motivation, restless legs, and all the other stuff that goes along with ridding the body of hydrocodone.
I look at it like this - when I take my pills, I feel like somebody, I'm friendly, outgoing, full of energy and vigor, life is good! Chemicals are not good for your body, but is feeling crappy all the time good for your mental state of well-being?
I've been tapering and I'm down to 3 pills a day - I have tried and tried to shave a bit off, break them down, but my body does not function unless it has 30mg of hydrocodone in it?
I think I'll just give up this tapering regime and just enjoy my three a day.
I was curious if anyone else has thought about just giving up and going back to the pills for life?
I look at it like this - when I take my pills, I feel like somebody, I'm friendly, outgoing, full of energy and vigor, life is good! Chemicals are not good for your body, but is feeling crappy all the time good for your mental state of well-being?
I've been tapering and I'm down to 3 pills a day - I have tried and tried to shave a bit off, break them down, but my body does not function unless it has 30mg of hydrocodone in it?
I think I'll just give up this tapering regime and just enjoy my three a day.
I was curious if anyone else has thought about just giving up and going back to the pills for life?
sunny8008....you are absolutely right!!! One thing you need to do while overcoming this is STAY POSITIVE!! The negativity is only the devil eating at you....just cause the dr prescribes...doesn't mean that it's okay!! There are still NARCOTICS, narcotics are usually street drugs, now they have brought them into our pharmacys and to our dr's offices and made them legal, LEGAL!!! And if you ask me, I think the gov't did it for a reason, so they can make their share of people have an addiction or dependancy or whatever!! Just like with the methadone clinics, they take you off one drug to get you addicted on "their" drug!! I mean this is only my theory! Drug dealers on the street make alot more money then what people may think, I've been there, I hung out with all drug dealers, I've sold drugs! Why is the gov't doing this? There has to be something else out there that doesn't do this to people! And if you listen to us, in all technicallity we all would love to go back for more and it be okay, or say the pills didn't make us feel like sh*t when we didn't have them, would we even stop?? But they have us all coming back! And the people here want to fight that, and that's why everyone of us are here!! TO STOP!!
Desert girl....stay strong? What are you on the pills for in the first place? Do you take them for pain? Or are you like me and took them for the he*l of it? I just liked the feeling, the energy! But I miss me, the OLD ME, now I have to start all over and create a NEW ME, because since we fell off track so badly with ourselves, we'll never be able to have our old selves again, and we can't become our old selves for a reason, the old me, got me into this mess, so I want to create a new me that is stronger then any of that!!!! Good Luck everyone, I hope I make sense to you all!!!
strictly me
Desert girl....stay strong? What are you on the pills for in the first place? Do you take them for pain? Or are you like me and took them for the he*l of it? I just liked the feeling, the energy! But I miss me, the OLD ME, now I have to start all over and create a NEW ME, because since we fell off track so badly with ourselves, we'll never be able to have our old selves again, and we can't become our old selves for a reason, the old me, got me into this mess, so I want to create a new me that is stronger then any of that!!!! Good Luck everyone, I hope I make sense to you all!!!
strictly me
Hi. Yes we all feel great on those little pills. What we don't see is what others may see. Short with people, quick tempered etc. ****, I thought vicodins were the cats meow for sure. What is scary is buying them illegally and going to prison or jail. Withdrawls would really suck then, also everybody would know. They give people a false sense of feeling like superman. I only took 2-4 a day and thought the same way, but I was a different person - I thought happier, more energy etc, but really I was just a fool. I am 68 days with only a couple minor slips that made me feel worse about taking one and only one than that pill made me feel better. My son is in jail and may go to prison. I have to be strong and forget about them so that I can be a good role model for the his daughter than I will now be raising. Don't want to be a pill head and depend on them ever again. Please don't fool yourself like I did. Get off of them and all of the good stuff you were before the pills will return. Be strong people, w/d suck or I guess nobody would care about what they do. Our bodies can only take so much and I don't want to die young.
Hi. Yes we all feel great on those little pills. What we don't see is what others may see. Short with people, quick tempered etc. ****, I thought vicodins were the cats meow for sure. What is scary is buying them illegally and going to prison or jail. Withdrawls would really suck then, also everybody would know. They give people a false sense of feeling like superman. I only took 2-4 a day and thought the same way, but I was a different person - I thought happier, more energy etc, but really I was just a fool. I am 68 days with only a couple minor slips that made me feel worse about taking one and only one than that pill made me feel better. My son is in jail and may go to prison. I have to be strong and forget about them so that I can be a good role model for the his daughter than I will now be raising. Don't want to be a pill head and depend on them ever again. Please don't fool yourself like I did. Get off of them and all of the good stuff you were before the pills will return. Be strong people, w/d suck or I guess nobody would care about what they do. Our bodies can only take so much and I don't want to die young.
Thank you for the information on the legatrinPM, I called my pharmacy and they will have it in tomorrow, I hope it works.
Sometimes its not an addiction, but rather dependancy. This is the case for me. I have real chronic pain everyday that does not go away ever. I have tried to go without taking my meds but it only made things worse and the doctors told me that I could not do that considering my medical history and problems. I have many medical problems, I wont go into it again, but I have explained some of them in past posts.
to desert. I feel for you hun. I have RLS and I take requip. It works great. As far as your pain goes, did you take the 3 pills a day for pain, or did you get a high off of it? There is a difference. It took me awhile to except that but I finally have. Have you ever been addicted to any other type of drugs? If not then maybe you are like me and you dont have the addictive personality. There are some people out there that are lucky like that. Me being one. I have tried many different types of street drugs and I did not like any of them. I tried to force myself to like weed too because people had told me that it takes the pain away. Boy I hated that ****, it not only stunk to high hell, but it actually made my pain worse.
Until you can get some requip, please take my advice and buy a product called Legatrin PM, its an over the counter medicine and it will help you with the pain and the restlessness in your legs.
to desert. I feel for you hun. I have RLS and I take requip. It works great. As far as your pain goes, did you take the 3 pills a day for pain, or did you get a high off of it? There is a difference. It took me awhile to except that but I finally have. Have you ever been addicted to any other type of drugs? If not then maybe you are like me and you dont have the addictive personality. There are some people out there that are lucky like that. Me being one. I have tried many different types of street drugs and I did not like any of them. I tried to force myself to like weed too because people had told me that it takes the pain away. Boy I hated that ****, it not only stunk to high hell, but it actually made my pain worse.
Until you can get some requip, please take my advice and buy a product called Legatrin PM, its an over the counter medicine and it will help you with the pain and the restlessness in your legs.
If I could have stayed at 3 a day I don't know that I would have ever tried to quit. It's hard for me to see the big deal about 3 hydro's a day. If I could keep my use to 3 a day and had no material use-related problems it would be difficult for me to honestly admit that "I was powerless over my addiction and that my life had become unmanagable."
However, deep within my heart of hearts I KNOW that I cannot keep my use of anything under control. I know that if I take ANY hydro I will soon be back to my prior levels and beyond. I will become a hydro eating (and snorting) machine. For a while (a very little while give the late stage of my disease) they would no doubt give me those WONDERFUL feelings that made me fall head-over-heels-in-love with the in the first place. You provided a very good description of what it was like. They DID make me "feel like somebody." I WAS "friendly, outgoing, full of energy and vigor."
But I would quickly come to a point (AGAIN) where they didn't do any of that for me. For a while I could keep the good effects by increasing the intake. But all too soon the drug would have little positive effect on me except for keeping me out of withdrawal. Then, instead of feeling like "somebody," I'd feel like an unworthy, dishonest hypocrite. Instead of being "friendly and outgoing," I'd be isolated and defensive. Instead of feeling "full of energy and vigor," I'd feel like a 90 year old man for whom even a short flight of stairs was awful.
There is no doubt in my mind - NONE - that if I started using again that I would be off to the races. I am sure that the only thing that would suprise me is how quickly I would be back to "living to use and using to live" - the indescribably demoralizing and destructive hell of active addiction.
You said that you have "been tapering and [are] down to 3 pills a day." This begs the questions: How many were you using a day?; Why did your use increased to that level in the first place?; If you needed to increase your dosages before, what will stop that need in the future?
It was necessary for me to use until I was beaten up so badly that all the fight was taken out of me. Trying to be strong or to beat addiction simply didn't work for me. Surrender (absolute and unconditional surrender) is the only thing that has worked for me. As it says in Chapter 5 ("How it Works") of the Big Book: "Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely."
How it Works is almost sacred to me. I think I will cut & paste it in a new thread.
However, deep within my heart of hearts I KNOW that I cannot keep my use of anything under control. I know that if I take ANY hydro I will soon be back to my prior levels and beyond. I will become a hydro eating (and snorting) machine. For a while (a very little while give the late stage of my disease) they would no doubt give me those WONDERFUL feelings that made me fall head-over-heels-in-love with the in the first place. You provided a very good description of what it was like. They DID make me "feel like somebody." I WAS "friendly, outgoing, full of energy and vigor."
But I would quickly come to a point (AGAIN) where they didn't do any of that for me. For a while I could keep the good effects by increasing the intake. But all too soon the drug would have little positive effect on me except for keeping me out of withdrawal. Then, instead of feeling like "somebody," I'd feel like an unworthy, dishonest hypocrite. Instead of being "friendly and outgoing," I'd be isolated and defensive. Instead of feeling "full of energy and vigor," I'd feel like a 90 year old man for whom even a short flight of stairs was awful.
There is no doubt in my mind - NONE - that if I started using again that I would be off to the races. I am sure that the only thing that would suprise me is how quickly I would be back to "living to use and using to live" - the indescribably demoralizing and destructive hell of active addiction.
You said that you have "been tapering and [are] down to 3 pills a day." This begs the questions: How many were you using a day?; Why did your use increased to that level in the first place?; If you needed to increase your dosages before, what will stop that need in the future?
It was necessary for me to use until I was beaten up so badly that all the fight was taken out of me. Trying to be strong or to beat addiction simply didn't work for me. Surrender (absolute and unconditional surrender) is the only thing that has worked for me. As it says in Chapter 5 ("How it Works") of the Big Book: "Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely."
How it Works is almost sacred to me. I think I will cut & paste it in a new thread.
Yes, it's really worth it. The idea that you can only take medicine and it's not harming you if you are in pain is ridiculous. If you need the medicine because it makes you feel better inlcuding a feeling of euphoria than it works for you. As long as you stay within the prescribed amount it is safe. When the medical community starts to decide moral issues there is a problem. If you are taking them when you are not in pain but it's still within the prescribed amount, enjoy! There is nothing wrong with that. If it makes your life more enjoyable, enjoy! Hope this helps.
I'm glad I am not the only one who feels like this, although the majority of ppl on this site want to quit, I just don't think it's my time just yet. I think I've done pretty good - I was (last month) taking them to get high and have taken up to 7 in one day. No more of that - gimme my three and I'll be fine.
Oh well, maybe tomarrow I'll try to shave about 2mg off of one of them.
All I know is that now, most all of my aches and pains are gone and I'm feeling normal ~ not high, but normal. RLS is gone, intense yawning is gone and I'm hungry.
Tomarrow is another day and I'll try again . . .
Oh well, maybe tomarrow I'll try to shave about 2mg off of one of them.
All I know is that now, most all of my aches and pains are gone and I'm feeling normal ~ not high, but normal. RLS is gone, intense yawning is gone and I'm hungry.
Tomarrow is another day and I'll try again . . .
It's been 9 days with the acception of one slip (yesterday) and i feel okay...still a little tired, and a bit of the RLS, but I mean do you remember those days before the drugs came along how much better the energy was then?? Don't you want that back in your life, drug free?? I know I do....honey, you...of alot of people on here, has wrote me and made me feel so good inside, you were the first person who ever wrote back anything to me on this site, i remember that, and i know you've been doing well..don't throw it away!! As lazy as you may feel, drag yourself to do something, once you start doing it, it's not that bad anymore!!!! Seriously, like my mom tells me..everytime the temptation comes along, pick up the bible, it always makes you feel better, and it really truly does!!! KEEP STRONG HONEY!!! I KNOW THAT YOU CAN BEAT THIS THING, DON'T LET IT BEAT YOU!! It's beaten me for to long, and i don't like getting beat!! I want to be the winner!! Not no pill that doesn't even have a life to live?
don't know where to begin... where to get in on the conversation here... I know it's repetitive (again!) but I really want to tell you all how much I admire you all... such a buncha gutsy good people, real gutsy, honest, and really kind also - funny, we're pretty harsh on ourselves it seems, and yet (or maybe because of it!) unusually positive sensitive and supportive of other folks... and the issues you're all bringing up! Whoa! These are exactly the nats that need knitting, the stitches that need starching, the woes that need to be woebegoned, the cries that need calming, the stew that needs bubbling, the diamond that needs polishing!! I repeat: you folks, in your own beautiful seemingly random but actually purposefully folksy way are darting and darning, weaving and wiggling, testing and pestering in a beautiful shared yearning to UNSCREW THE INSCRUTABLE!!!! PLEASE forgive me for sending this rambling bramble... I'm kinda sleep deprived running on empty as it were... and I really do love you all and admire the way each of you with your own unique style and grace have joined the battle, engaged the demon, and connected with one another... so please forgive me (I'm pretty sure you will - that's the sort of folks you are!) Next post I'll try and relate more specifically - I can totally relate to feelings of being tortured and why not just take a few stupid pills and get my life back?!!? you said it so exactly it hurts... and then you come on and say NO wait hold the line don't give up!!! And it's terribly hard to really know... that righteous glow of clarity gives way to the murky grey zone of life's deepest wrassles... Heaven I'm begging, Help us out!! For the sake of your children, your spouses, loved ones, your unbelievable fearless honesty... I feel so bad I don't know you all by your nicknames individually, that I'm so sloppy lazy to commit you all carefully to memory... I'm on beyond zebra... c/t or taper? tylenol or liquor? melantonin or Thomas Recipe? maintenance dose or switch to methadone? sick of pills or just plain sick? depressed or just withdrawal? jitters or shivers? relapse? setback or switchback along the mountain trail? I'm sorry all, I am praying for you though, and I do have a little track record of "successful" prayers - I mean, all prayers are in truth "successful"... it's just that sometimes it happens on a level where even we can see it, appreciate it, enjoy it, become strengthened by it... Love from Nefesh
stay 3 a day 1 week 2 a day the next week, then half. your so close its not even funny wish i was at that point
If youre taking PAIN med and youre NOT in pain....not rocket science; there's a problem...sit back and enjoy; sorry, BAD BAD advice.
Yes,.... MOST of us THINKS about taking the pills...WHY because we feel like sh*t and want it to stop feeling like sh*t. WELL, The pills made you feel this way in the first place.. Until you get them COMPLETELY out of your system you will feel this way. The supply will eventually run low or out. If you are in w/d now stay that way. Day 18 here and no I am not normal yet but I will be very soon. Part of getting clean is going through the hard parts, getting it all out of our bodies and MINDS. It takes alit time to run its course. But, after it does, IT WILL ALL BE WORTH IT.... While your body is going through this awful change your mind also goes through changes. WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF........ Mind over matter. Think positive no matter how hard it may seem. You just have to in order to be yourself again. This was very hard for me because I had been taking them for so long I wasn't sure who I really was... Me-WHO IS THAT... Well, I have really got to know myself in the last few weeks and boy I enjoy even myself more then before. Wait a minute I never enjoyed myself before. My family and my friends seem to enjoy me more. I can think, smell, feel and even see as I thought I could before...Boy, did the pills have me fooled in mores ways then I could have ever imagined. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. Most of you found this site for a reason. Some of us ran out of pills for a reason.. Some of us lost our connect or the Dr. figured us out..For whatever reason it is, IT IS A REASON. Someone is trying to tell you something and now I am telling you... To hold on and stay strong. You all including me can beat this little pill. Stay focused and strong. I am here for ALL of you just like you have been here for me. With my whole heart, love, prayers and support, Heather XOXO
Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ME??? WHO IS THAT????? Thank you for telling me you like yourself more now!! That is exactly what I want to happen to me. I know I have to earn that. But I am so energized by your feeling of success!!!!
You make me proud and hopeful!!!!
Keep posting and growing!!!!
You make me proud and hopeful!!!!
Keep posting and growing!!!!
I would like to try but the pain in my legs and feet is overbearing! How long before this gets better, if ever?
Come on guys!! Don't give into this addiction!!! YOU'S CAN DO IT!! After it goes away, it's gone, you will be normal again!! The not being outgoing and all is cause when you are getting away from this addiction it does tend to drag you through a stage of depression!! Don't let the devil win this battle!! PLEASE KEEP STRONG!!! FOR YOURSELVES AND FOR US HERE ON THE FORUM!!!
Yes I have, I have 9 days of being without vicodin and my chronic pain is killing me. I have not slept in 5 days and my RLS is driving me insane. Glad to see your post and to know that I am not the only one. I would rather go back to my 3 pills a day to be normal again. I called my pharmacy to fax a refill request to my doctor, and I have an appt. with him next week to ask him for some requip. I just want to get some sleep without having to move my legs all day and night.
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