Is it true? No big decisions for a year?

[againnot]

I'm on day 73 clean from a long oxy, hydro, addiction. (Who's counting, right?)
Going to talk to an attorney next week about a possible divorce .  No one I know would be surprised.  I think I notice the verbal abuse much more, now that I am clean!
However, I'm on disability and also have chemo for the rest of my life.  Really concerned about the financial aspects .
I just want so peace!  Should I wait to make such a big decision?

[againnot]

I'm ok, thanks for asking.  I keep blocking people by mistake.  I'll try and fix that right now.

[msdelight]

Hey girl,, trying to continue our pm conversation, but it won't allow messages or notes from me. :-(  You ok?

[msdelight]

And I am so sorry very sorry to here of yours. Your right, I have been where you are. I was lucky after some pretty aggressive treatment and beat it . Neverdid beat the abusive husband. Yet. Lol.I wouldn't mind talking to you if you ever need to vent or share. And the fact that you are clean and not numb to his bs is exactly the problem. So pm me if you like.  My heart goes out to you. Love,MsD

[gnarly_1]

Hi.....well coming off narcotics makes you extra sensitive to things around you  I always say nothing life changing for a minim of 90 days  it takes that long for your brain to begin  to reset itself  you be supprized how long recovery takes you will notice improvements at 90 days 120 6 mo even a year out.....you dont undo years of abuse in days................................Gnarly

[againnot]

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer!  Sounds like I'm in the same boat you were!  I hope everything has settled down for you.
Thank you all for your great advice.  It's a lot like they said at the NA meeting Wed. night .
It's so true....now that my brain isn't in a fog, I notice this verbal abuse even more!

[VICourageous]

Hi! Congrats on your clean time.
I have to ditto all the above. Stress, Drama, Loneliness, Boredom, Abuse, (physically or mentally), Heartaches and so on can cause some Triggers. Please be Safe, no matter what you choose to do right now. Wishing you the best!
Bless
Vickie

[NeverAgain127]

Hi honey,

Your post really resonated with me.  I'm 10 months off of oxy, and life's hurts are hitting me harder then ever.  Life on life's terms is what they say in a 12 step program.  

I think you got some great advice here.  You have to do what is best for YOU and your sobriety.  Do you have sober support?  

Good luck..keep us posted.  Sending prayers your way.
Hugs,
-Robin

[msdelight]

It all depends on the situation. I had the cancer and still have the abusive husband. When I was on chemo, he walked out the door one morning after a stupid argument (he starts them all) and announced " I hope the cancer churns inside you all day. Well I packed up and left with two small kids and a bald head. It ain't easy babe.  I was sick, tired, not working and broke. He holds the health insurance. Think carefully, see the lawyer, get the info, but don't do anything that will hurt you. Sit tight a little longer. Love, MsD

[Jerry198]

So Sorry to here I don't care for mental or physical abusers so if that is the case please do what you think is right best wishes.

[againnot]

Thank you both for your insight.  
I'm not physically abused, but mentally.  Even my kids notice it, which is one reasons I don't see them much.
I do think I'm more aware of it, now that I'm clean!
I will see the attorney just to see where I stand, but will make no decisions quite yet.

[Jerry198]

Divorce is a big deal !! and during your recovery you will see things in a new light maybe the pills kept many feelings pushed down and now that you are alive again you see that you deserve to be treated differently but give it time put yourself out there for 120plus days before making big decisions that effect the rest of your life.  Now with that being said lets say you were in an abusive relationship with addicted to ?? and you accepted that situation during that time in your life and now that your clean you say NO MORE than yes make that decision now .. hope that helps.

[dominosarah]

Usually it is recommended that no big decisions should be made during this period but only you know your situation.  If there is physical and verbal abuse then you need to do whatever it takes to stay clean and safe.  

Congrats on 73 days clean!!!!