Is it wrong

[blueyz]

I don't think it's wrong, but I can tell you why I eventually told my husband.  I didn't for the longest time for two reasons...I was ashamed and I wasn't ready to stop.  Then when I reached MY breaking point I knew I couldn't do it alone and I trusted him to be supportive and he has been. Since that day, I haven't gone back. It really helps. You will know when the right time is. Trust your instincts.

To not tell my husband what is going on with me?
I wonder if I am doing it for me or for him? To protect myself or to save him from having to worry about me, maybe its both. Want to tell him but can't bring myself to do it.
Have a hard time expressing my feelings to begin with usually email them to him and don't like anybody to see me cry.
Anybody else feel like this, maybe deal with this?

[wickedwanderer]

If you tell him, he would probably be a really great support system for you.  Also, when someone else knows what you're going through, it kinda makes it easier to stay out of trouble.  My boyfriend (we were broken up when I starting using) was very upset with me from "keeping it" from him.

Just some thoughts :)

[LadySundown]

Is there any chance your husband's already knows but hasn't said anything to you?? If not it might be good to tell him. He may have noticed something different about you but doesn't know what. In that case it could be a big relief for him. It sounds like you have a good marriage so he's likely to be supportive. I don't like anyone to see my cry either. I never have. I guess I don't want to show my feelings. I have been working on that the last couple of weeks.
I wish you the best. You deserve it.......Hugs......LS

[FLaddict]

I will say that with my hubby knowing everything the whole time it helped me in the long run.. Having that secret would probably had made me continue the cycle  Him knowing and being supportive I think helped me get off the pills and not keep secrets about them.. We are very honest with one another and I am very lucky to have such a supportive hubby.. I am sure your will want to be just as supportive and help you fight this thing..

[CATUF]

There's a saying in Recovery and around the rooms: "We're only as sick as our secrets."

The first time I went to rehab I immediately decided that it was bull - in my mind "I was only as safe as my secrets."  The fact that my deal was partially discovered and I had to go to rehab was bad enough.  As far as I was concerned there was: a) absolutely no good reason to tell anyone the full story of what was really going on with me; and b) lots of good reasons not to tell.

Pretty quickly into my second rehab (that started less than 5 months after the first ended) I decided that maybe there was something to it after all.  

A big road block to Recovery is the shame that is an inherent part of active addiction.  Our disease thrives in isolation, secrecy and shame.  It tells us that we will be scorned and rejected by our family and friends if they find out the awful truth.  

Think about it . . . . that's the same lie a child molester tells his young victim to keep them within his power.  It's easy to see the lie there.

We need help and support to Recover.  We need to shine the light of Recovery on the disease.

These days I "tell on myself" for everything -- drive by a certian street and get "that feeling," my wife or my sponsor hears about it w/i minutes.  Kids get prescribed Tylox after wisdom teeth are taken out and I feel LIKE I'LL DIE IF I DON'T GET JUST ONE - wife, sponsor, old temp sponsor, folks at 2 meetings that day all hear about it as soon as possible.

Our awful little secrets lose their power once they are not secret.

Good luck

CATUF
DAY-775

[Carebear215]

I finally told my husband what was going on.
At first he was upset with me for not telling him that I was going thru this, then he came around and was just glad I was ok.
He told me to please let him know next time so he can be here for me and do whatever he needs to do so he can help me thru it.
After losing his brother from and over dose he is just scared and worried that will happen to me.
I am glad I told him , I rarely keep anything from my husband he is my best friend, my lover, my soul mate, my everything. And it felt horrible keeping this from him.
Have yet to tell my mother , me and my mother are very close but I know once I tell her she will want to tell my sister who is a Christian but she is my sister and will be there for me if I need her, even though she is miles away.
But my mother is on different pills she just doesn't take as many as me and my step dad(her husband) does.
Just don't want this problem to over lap and my children to have the same issues one day.
They know I take pain pills but don't think they realize how many I take.

I do worry about my oldest son as he tends to have panic attacks and needs something for them. Panic attacks seem to run in the family, my mom gets them, I get them , my grandmother gets them, my aunt get them(she has gone in the hospital ) for them.

This forum has been wonderful thank you all for being there.