Is there life after Oxycontin?

[gene10]

I am going in for Detox this Friday for Oxycontin addiction.  I have read many many messages here from people addicted to painkillers & people recovering from that addiction.  
I have been snorting 240-360mg of Oxy per day for about 1 & 1/2 years now.  I told my family doctor about my abuse & he was very supportive & referred me to a center that specializes in drug addiction.
They want me to get detoxed first & that is what I plan on doing starting Friday night at an inpatient facility.  I was told that I wll be on various medications to ease the withdrawal including methadone.  But I have read here & elsewhere that methadone is not a good treatment for addiction to opiates.

My wife was quite surprised when I fessed up to her about my secret problem but she is also very supportive at this time & I am puzzled by some posts here from women whose husbands threatened to kick them out if they relapse.

I found a gtreat site at http://www.prescriptionabuse.org.  Their FAQ section is very helpful.

There are a lot of desperate messages from people here who are hopelessly addicted to painkillers & want to stop.  If you are truly in constant pain & need to take opiates for relief, then you are not addicted & need to find a good pain clinic in your area.  Try the newsgroup alt.support.chronic-pain for help finding pain relief.  Also go to http://www.widomaker.com/~skipb/panic.html for an incredible website dedicated to getting people help who are in pain.

If you are taking painkillers now because you cannot stop & can't handle the withdrawal, then you are in my shoes & need to find professional help.  Look in the phone book or talk to your doctor or call a local chapter of Narcotics Anonymous.  NA is also on the internet at http://www.na.org

I have been fortunate to find a sponsor & will be leaning on him as well as followoing his advice as I make the transition from drug abuser to recovering drug addict.

I am petrified about going to detox this Friday but I have to take control of my addiction before it destroys my life!!

Please reply with any & all comments.

[Brian to Sick and Scared § ALL you guys]

Congratulations on taking back your life.  Detox isn't easy, but it sounds like you really have good support from your wife, sponsor, etc.  Methadone or Buprenorphine would be the most appropriate choices to detox you.  As you are aware, you are addicted to a very high dosage of oxy.  Accordingly, you will need a long-acting narcotic to taper you down, and methadone is a good choice.  Remember, millions have done this before you.  Good luck and post to let us know how you're doing.  Brian

[Gene to Joanne]

Thanks Brian for the words of encouragement!  I have read in a few places that there were better drugs than Methadone to detox with & that Methadone is extremely hard to get off of.  But I have to let the attending physician make the decision I guess since he is the so called expert.

[Gene to Joanne]

I just wanted to add that I only discovered this group last night & I have read through almost every message there is.  I can't believe how many people share my problems of addiction to pills.  I started with Percocets in 1986 after a back injury & knew that I had found my new drug of choice.  After 12 years taking Percs, Vicodins & Lortabs, as well as Valium, I made the awful jump to Oxycontin.  I thought that I'd be better off without all the Aceteminophen and Oxy's were cheaper than Percs on the black market. (only if you take equivalent doses os Oxy-which is a joke as I increased my Oxy intake to 320+mg a day all through the nose)  I do suffer from chronic pain but not enough to warrant so many painkillers.  I LOVE Oxycontin for its positive effects but I hate it for the addiction & cost in dollars & time seeking it.

I gave up Cocaine in 1983 after 3 years of abuse & that was a cakewalk compared to getting off Oxy! I also stopped smoking pot after 27 years last November.

So I have decided to make the great leap to the other side - the sober side.  It's a hard thing to do but my recovering friends tell me it's worth the effort.  Wish me luck & thanks to everyone for putting into words what pills are doing to their lives & making me realize that I am not alone in my agony of drug abuse & dependency!

[To Nancy from Elizabeth]

I am(like all of you) dealing with this evil addiction, and I was wondering, if I were to taper off of about 200 mg of Hydrocodone per day, what would be the amount? Say, i am taking 5-6 at once 3-4 times per day, would I just cut the dose in half or taper off a few pills per day I just have no idea???? I would also like to know, if anyone knows, can it be dangerous for me to quit cold turkey from such a high dose? Thanks for any answers!!!

[tom to Elizabeth]

The real danger you're in is from the forty 500mg Tylenols you're ingesting in order to get the hydro! People have died from taking much less. I assume you're not drinking with that or you wouldn't be alive to post a message. If you are, well, a gun would be faster.
As for getting off that dosage (I got up to 75 Vics per day and somehow lived). But the withdrawal, especially when I did it cold turkey, was god-awful. If you have any kind of access at all to a medical setting to detox, run, don't walk ... You'll need all the detox meds you can get to come down from that much. But, really, Elizabeth, the Tylenol will kill you deader than dead. You're already taking enough to suicide -- and death by liver failure is not one of the better ways to go. After your liver fails, you'll die slowly over several days, with plenty of time to think about how you threw your life away just to catch a buzz. Face it, because of your tolerance level, your fling with hydrocodone is over. The next place you're going is the morgue if you don't get professional help. I'm watching my 9-year old nephew die of cancer as I write this. I know he'd love to have the chance you still have to live. Don't **** my nephew off, Elizabeth, save your life while you still can. Just pick up the phone, you'll find help somewhere. Do it now. God be with you.

[Gene to Joanne]

Tom is right Elizabeth,  the Tylenol, or Aceteminophen as the generic name goes, is deadly in large doses, especially over 4000 milligrams a day.  However, there is something that can help your  liver cope with that drug as well as other ones.  It is called Milk Thistle and is available in any health food store or vitamin section of a pharmacy or even online.  This herb can & does help heal the liver & can help it deal with the toxic effects of alcohol & drugs such as opiates & Tylenol.  I take one every day justto keep my liver working while I abuse pills.

As far as tapering from 200mg of Hydro, it can be done very slowly over a long period of time.  I'm no doctor so I don't know the proper schedule or amount to use to taper off.  The best place to get help is from a drug clinic or a doctor who specializes in these things.  It's no shame to admit you have a problem & seek help.  My doctor warned me of the dangers of quitting cold turkey from large amounts of opiates.  He has a patient who almost died when he stopped taking Oxycontin cold turkey! It took me 14 years to go from user to abuser to help seeker.  I feel a lot better asking for help & there are a lot of places out there that specialize in helping people like you & me!  I am going into detox this Friday & am quite scared of what lies ahead for me but at least I know that things will get better & that I have a future without seeking, buying, hoarding, lying, hiding, and taking large amounts of narcotics just to maintain what I thought was a normal lifestyle.  There has to be a better way & getting straight & getting involved with Narcotics Anonymous is going to be my savior.

Good luck and write back. Don't give up hope!!

[Brian to Sick and Scared § ALL you guys]

I have tapered several times from amounts greater than yours.  It takes having plenty of pills and LOTS of willpower.  Generally, you want to taper by about 10% every few days.  So, instead of 5 pills 4 times per day, take 4.5 pills 4x day for about 3 or 4 days, then 4.0 etc.  The key to a successful taper is going slowly, which gives the body time to adjust to each reduced dosage.  TRY NOT TO CHEAT!  It is hard, but can be done.  Better yet would be to get yourself into a detox program (outpatient) which uses buprenorphine to detox you.  It will detox you with little or no withdrawal.  I've also used that several times for detox and it was the easiest and least painful.  With respect to the acetaminophen, while it is true you are taking toxic levels, many people do with no damage.  However, to be on the safe side you should have a liver screen done to determine if there has been damage.  Furthermore, Gene's suggestion regarding milk thistle is a good one.  Several studies have shown its ability to limit and even reverse liver damage.  Finally, no matter how you detox just remember, that is the easy part.  Staying clean really does require some sort of structure like NA.  Hopefully you won't have to relapse numerous times like I did to learn that lesson.

[To Nancy from Elizabeth]

Tom, your post really opened my eyes even if it was just while I was reading it!! You said some really strong statements, and I am pretty sure they will stick in my head for awhile! I am sorry about your family member with cancer, that really does make me feel like a fool, my cousin has been sick since the day she was born and about 6 yrs ago she had a kidney transplant and I see her going through all that and it makes me feel like a real ass!! She also takes Hydro's and she really needs them I on the other hand don't really need them and I take 3 times as many as her while I see her set around in alot of pain because her M.D. will only give her 30-40 per week because he does not want her to get addicted!!! It's so crazy !!! Thanks,all of you for your comments don't worry about being too tough I know it's what I need!!!

[tom to Elizabeth and Gene]

Gene, thanks for mentioning the Milk Thistle. That was a very important point that I somehow overlooked. After identifying the disease, it's nice to know there's a way back.
Gene, Elizabeth, NA and/or AA can and will save your life. I understand and identify with your fear about what lies ahead. However, if you aggressively sample and then focus on the NA/AA group that works for you (they're all different, but you'll know the right group when you find it), there is indeed a way back for you both. Don't hesitate to try an AA group, even though you're not an alcoholic. In my own experience, I have gotten more of what I needed from a combination of AA and NA groups. You'll know what I mean. But read the "big book" (the original, central book of AA). The alcoholic that founded AA, Bill W., made a truly momentus discovery about the human condition. Someday, he will be spoken of in the same breath as Ghandi and Martin Luther King. He is as much responsible for liberating the spirit of man as either of those men. The truth of this will overtake both of you very soon. Don't be afraid. And don't be ashamed. We are human beings as worthy of respect as anyone. There is no shame in our condition. The root of our problem comes from a place where we all live. You are about to have the most profound experience of your life. Be glad. Hold your head up high and take heart. The road back is right in front of you.

[To Nancy from Elizabeth]

I called my doctors yesterday, and I have an appt. for an assesment at a detox/rehab center Tues. morning at 9 am. The only thing about it was how the nurse I was talking to kinda seemed to have this attitude like my "problem" was not really serious. She was just like well you come in and we will see, when I was asking all kinds of questions about thier program ect. and she acted like i really did not need to worry about that because I did not have a "real" problem so I really did not need any info. on thier program!! Maybe I am confused here, but, I kinda thought me taking 30-40 pills per day was a problem!!! Now I see why alot of people can't get help until it's too late!

[Gene to Joanne]

Elizabeth,  I am so proud of you!!!  You have taken an incredibly gutsy step towards freeing yourself from the grip of narcotic addiction.  Too bad the nurse was so unsympathetic.

And yes, taking 30-40 pills a day is a major problem so don't let that nurse get to you!  You have a serious habit that has to be carefully & professionally treated & I'm sure that the doctors there will take the appropriate steps to help you out.
I go into detox in 4 days & I am excited but scared sh*tless at the same time.

Let us know how things progress, I am sure everyone here is rooting for you as much as I am!

Gene

[To Nancy from Elizabeth]

Thank you Gene, I am really scared too but, like you also excited which sounds kina stupid, I mean we are talking about drug detox not a trip to Disney World!! You know what I mean?? I think your right about the doctors there, I know when I called on Sunday afternoon the doctor was paged and called me back in less than 5 min. he wanted me to come straight to the E.R. that afternoon, with my daughter I could not just jump up and leave like that with no plan. So, I guess he did have a different attitude than the lady I talked to today. It was just really upsetting, I mean I really want to get help and the first time I make a step towards that I felt like they did not care! Well I leave at 7:30 in the morning, wish me luck, I don't know if I will be there for a few days or what, but, I will let you know how it works out, if you would like I could give you my    
e-mail address so, since we are going through about the same thing, we can keep in touch. It's up to you just let me know,if you don't want to put your e-mail address on here I totally understand, I have never posted mine on here either!! Good luck to you, and to everyone that is going through this.

[Gene to Joanne]

I guess you went in today so I can't say good luck right now because you're there already.  I would love to keep in touch with you during this ordeal we are sharing.  My email address is g.***@****.  Let me know when you get out.  I leave Friday June 30th for my detox.  I too have to schedule it around my job & my family.  I hope to be home Wednesday July 5th.  I will be spending Independence Day in the hospital.  That's pretty fitting since I will be going there to gain independence from painkillers!

[Betsy]

I too am addicted to hydrocodone, and have no idea what to expect when I stop, what withdrawal is like, and can I do this alone.  Good luck to you!!

[Gene to Joanne]

Well, my detox has been postponed for a week due to information about my detox hospital which made me realize that it was not the right place to do the job well. As far as how to find the right place, I would start by calling your health insurance company and seeing who they will pay for & who they think is good.  Then call those places & ask about their programs & try to ask other recovering addicts in your area if they know its reputation.

You can also go to your own doctor & ask for help as I did.  You really have to be your own researcher to get all the information you need to make a good decision.  That is why I postponed my detox & am going to a different place next week.

This website is a great place to get information that can lead you on the road to recovery. You can ask a question of the doctors here & you can also read lots & lots of posts & learn quite a bit from other people with similar situations.

There is help out there if you make up your mind that you want to get it!  I don't recommend stopping on your own Betsy.  An addict needs a lot of support from other people who understand what their problems are.  Getting through withdrawal is only the first step.  Joing AA or NA is an excellent way to get help after you stop so that you stay sober.  That's what I'm doing.
Good luck!

[shelly]

I just wanted to say that you all are such an honorable group of people. I wish all the best for you. I am on a low dosage of Oxycontin 30mg 2x a day. I am scared of addiction.  I dont know whether to get off the stuff while I am ahead. I take mine of Fibro. I am building a tolerance. I am into Acupunture, Meditation, Chiro all kinds of stuff. I was just reading this site for the first time, bookmarked it, and just wanted to say I have the utmost respect for all of you wonderful people having the guts to say "stop the insanity".  
Sincerely,
Shelly

[bob]

Shelly I think that saying 60mg of oxycontin is a low dosage could turn out to be a terrible mistake. When I tryed to quit at that level the last time It kicked my ass. In fact IM still trying to quit. If you are ahead of the game and can quit you might want to do just that. The side effects of this medicine are something else. P.S. 60MG is equal to 12 percocets without the tylonol. That is a serious amount of medicine. When you say that you are scared of addiction I can tell you that I am addicted and that I am truely scared. I will detox next week in a clinic. I am not scared of that I am scared of the time between now and then. Dont get caught in this trap with your life if it is not necessary. I thought I was getting rid of pain.I was wrong. Bob

[From Aunt Lindy to Mariah]

Thank you for your powerful words. I am truly taking them into consideration.  I did not even mention the percoset that I take in between for breakthrough pain. Needless to say, that was some serious food for thought and I thank you. I will be thinking of you as you go into detox next week. Best of luck to you. You sound like a strong person.
Sincerely,
Shelly.

[To Nancy from Elizabeth]

I did not go either, I sent you an e-mail explaining everything, it was so crazy. Talk to you soon you will have my address now so please write back!!

[Joan C]

I am currently taking oxycontin for pain.  I don't want to get high from it but it does bother my stomach sometimes.  Is that why people snort it?  I don't think I could ever do that mainly because that's not how your suppose do take this med and would go into your system too quickly.  I have tried alot of medication for stomach problems.  Carafate (sp) and Reglan seemed to be the only ones I can tolerate.  Carafate has little or no side-affects (i think) except for constipation.  Does anyone know any meds that would counter the oxycontin on your stomach?

[Gene to Joanne]

I snort Oxycontin partly to control my dosing & partly for the high.  There is little pain relief from taking it nasally.
I DON'T recommend anyone try snorting it as this will lead to increasing dosages & abuse!
As far as your stomach, make sure you take Oxy on a full stomach or at least with some food or milk.  It can be hard on your tummy but it is a very effective aceteminopen free pain killer.

Just make sure that you take it as directed & don't go over the amount you are prescribed or you will end up going through severe withdrawal until your next prescription comes in.

[eg]

hi Elizabeth and Gene.  I don't know what this drug is you two are hooked on, but it sounds like you really want it out of your life.

I had a good friend whom was hooked on CHINA WHITE after NAM.  It was tearing his life up, and he saw it and quit.  He always insisted that if you want off you can get off ON YOUR OWN.  

You may not concur, but I am sure you can START ON THE PATH, until you can get the professional detox you want.  Start by reducing your dosage as posted earlier.  That way, should your detox get delayed significantly, you still have started.

I like pot and beer, but have laid off both:  let me explain.

The pot I have 'quit' many many times. For different reasons.  Sometimes I would quit just to reduce my tolerance.  Sometimes for financial reasons.  If my money is running short it is always the first thing to go.  And most recently, because I am looking for a new job.  I can tell you this... I am considering staying 'quit' this time, just because of the states intolerance to the weed.  It is not worth the worry, paranoia, and fear.  These are not imagined conditions.  They are the realization of the fact that the state will take my freedom, money, and property if they find it out.  

I always find that I get more done without the weed.  And I always run thru cycles:  As tolerance increases, I smoke more, and enjoy it less.  I always wonder if I am addicted.  Perhaps I am, and simply have good will power to give it up whenever I deem it necessary.  Since the definition of addiction varies from person to person, it is hard to say, especially with a 'mild' narcotic like weed.

Now, for the driking.. When I got out of the Army, I was worried that I was an alcoholic, as I was drinking heavily.  so, I decided to quit for one year to find out.  I really had no problem quitting for that year, so I pipped a cap that next new years.    That brings me to two weeks ago... Went out shooting pool , came home late.  Had quite a few beers, and although I was drinking light beer, probably a couple too many.  The city changed the exit #s on the hiway, and I took the wrong exit.   Exit #7 is now a sharp downhill turn to the right.  I slid thru the intersection and bounced over the median.  I drove away to avoid being hit by oncoming traffic.  Must have jarred my head when I went over the median, cuase I found myself virtually LOST in a section of town I knew well.  Apparently the cops saw the whole thing, cause when they caught up to me they cuffed and stuffed me.

Here in GA the legal limit is .08, and they take the lower of two readings.  The first was .09, the next was .075.  I got lucky and avoided the DUI.  However, I still have three charges to contend with @ court:  reckless driving,  evading the police, and no seat belt ( bogus one there ).  I hope the judge will understand and drop the charges ( fat chance the state wants my money )

MY POINT... I quit drinking because my head wasn't straight for about a week.  Now I don't know if I want to start up again.  What is an alcoholic?  If you want to drink , but refuse yourself, are you addicted?  I dunno.  Haven't decided if I will resume my (light) drinking.  I don't drink it up like I used to in the army.

I hope you two did not get too bored reading this.  I hope you can get straight.  If you really, REALLY want it, then start on your own.

good luck

[DA]

I can relate to many of your stories.  I have started and stopped various and any painkillers over the last 7 years.  Why I get started after enduring the ass-kicking withdrawls is a good question.  The answer is mainly because these pills are an addiction, and they are my weakness.  Luckily (I guess), my latest bout with these demons gives me only 3-4 days of agony with withdrawls.  But those days seem endless, filled with sweats, chills, sleeplessness at night, sleepy days, sensitive skin, no appetite...and on and on.  I am only praying that I can build up my resolve and deal with one last withdrawl then be finished with them for good.

I have a new wife and baby coming that are owed my complete and total attention.  I know that they deserve all of me and they will get it...despite my weakness.  For all of you who are going through various stages of the same sickness...I can relate.  I'm going to find the resolve to beat this...I hope all of you can too.

Good luck!!

[Gene to Joanne]

I appreciate your posts as any messages about other people's addictions help me cope with mine.
To DA, I always said I would quit smoking pot after I got married.  Didn't happen.  Then I promised myself I would quit before my first child was born.  Didn't happen.  I only quit last year when my 8 year old son was starting to notice something weird about me after 8pm which is when I smoked each day.  I could not hide the smell or the glazed look in my eyes not to mention the silly look on my face!  I also started to get paranoid when stoned because I would think about my life & my addictions & the problems they caused.

An old friend who went straight 15 years ago told me that "reality is for those who can't handle drugs".  I used to laugh at that but now I realize that it is true.  Once you become addicted to one or more drugs, there is no choice but to get straight.  That's the only way to get control over your life & your addictions.

This is where Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous can really help you.  These groups can help you cut through the self lies & bullshit & let you understand what is really going on with your life & your addictions & also give you the support that we all need to stop getting high once and for all.
Maybe there are people out there who can drink or smoke pot once in a while (my wife is one of those), but many of us cannot do that.  We are addicts & will continue to go from drug to drug (alcohol included) as long as we are free to do so.  There is no controlling a substance abuse problem.  You either stop or keep on hurting yourself.  The car accident was a good wake-up call EG!

I have 3 friends who are completely sober now & all have done it through NA & AA.  I don't see any other options at this point in my life.  I cannot stop on my own, that much is obvious!
If you both realize that too, then there is hope for you.
Good luck!!

[To Nancy from Elizabeth]

I can relate to what you are saying, and you are right about alot of things, but, my problem is sooooo much deeper than just taking a couple of pills every now and then to feel good, or to have a good time. I have been going to 4-5 different doctors (all in the same hospital & work w/each other) for over 9 yrs. This is what they have come up with: I have been very depressed since the day I was born, I have took every antidepresant available, and nothing really helped. I have a severe chemical imbalance, I got my 1st script for a narcotic med. in 1996 from my dentist. I had never taken anything not even a tylenol #3, so, I had 20 hydrocodone 5/500 little did I know it my whole life was about to change and NEVER be the same. At the time I was going through a very bad divorce and to make things 10 times worse, my parents of 26 yrs were going through a divorce as well!!!!! I just remember the day after I got a wisdom tooth pulled I just felt ok, I still had all of the same problems, I was still thinking about them but, I could function. Anyway,it all started there, I have found out since then from a very highly respected addiction specialist at the best hospital in my area, that I lack a chemical that makes us happy. I have always known I was depressed but, I never knew that the feeling i was getting from the pills(hydrocodone) was a feeling that most people get naturally, and I never had experienced in my life. So, to make a long story short, the doctors think I would really benefit from starting treatment with methadone. They say it will make me "feel" what most people call "normal" somthing I have really never known before!! I am really scared, I know if I start the methadone it will be a commitment and I know the withdrawl from it are really bad, but I can't keep going on like this. Sorry this is so long everyone, if anyone has any advice please write back, and also, if anyone has any experience with methadone I would really like to know anything you could tell me about it. Thanks everyone, Elizabeth

[Bert]

Elizabeth, as long as you use methadone under supervision it will be fine. You will probably feel much better also. It's like with the pills, once you start taking more than you are suppose to, the trouble starts. There will always be part of you that wants to try a little more. After adjusting to the effects of the methadone, you will not feel" high", just normal. Most likely you will have more energy,sleep better,and most likely a better outlook.Most clinics or doctors will closely monitor you for the first ninety days before giving you any take home supply.After this peroid is when you must be very careful.You will find peope who will sell their supply because they need cash.I think you will benefit from it, but i can't stress how important it is to stick to your prescribed amounts.Withdrawl symptoms can last for months!!! Good luck.

[To Nancy from Elizabeth]

That is the thing that I am so scared of, is the fact thay once I start the methadone I will HAVE to keep taking it, I have read that the withdrawl from it is twice as long as herion and alot worse, so I just...... don't know what to do? When the most recomended addiction specialist in the area I live in has told me that I need to start the methadone program, and will probably need to take it for the rest of my life!!! What do i do?? It is either that or go into inpatient detox for 4-5 days and then go home and be the most depressed person on the planet!! Since I have had a problem with depression since the day I was born, I just think the psychiological part will be the hardest for me, the way these stupid pills have made me feel has been better than anything I have ever known my whole life, the doctors say my brain does not make enough endorphin's, therefore, any attempt I make to live my life without any opiates, I will have about a 99% chance to fail, due to the fact that I have had a "taste" of life with the right amount,and even a little over, of the endorphin's. So, what the hell does someone do once that is what they have been told?? Thanks to anyone for any advice!!

[Gene to Joanne]

It sounds like Mathadone could be the solution to your lifelong problem with depression.  If it can cure your chemical imbalance, then it is worth the hassle of taking.  Think of it like a diabetic taking insulin to stay alive.  Sure that takes diligance & careful planning, but it keeps the diabetic healthy & feeling fine.  So that's what Methadone might do for you.  And you won't have to worry about making sure you have a constant supply of pills to keep you going.  You just take your "medicine" & you will be fine.  Most daily medicines such as anti-depressants or tranquilizers have to be taken at regular intervals to prevent withdrawal.  

I hope you are able to make a decision that will help you feel better and get away from the vicious cycle of drug seeking & drug using.  I wish you all the best!

Gene

[To Nancy from Elizabeth]

Thanks Gene, you know the thing you said about looking at it like a person who is diabetic? Well that is exactly what the lady at the clinic said to me, almost word for word!!! I guess it really is the same thing it's just so hard for me to put it into my head and have it not only make sense but seem OK, since basically this is the same thing as me going to a clinic everyday and getting my daily dose of herion. It just is so hard for me to look at it as a medical thing and not somthing wrong and twisted!!!

[TO SHARON FROM SHELLEY]

ELIZABETH,I WAS "BORN" DEPRESSED ALSO AND TAKE NARCOTIC PAINKILLERS NOT ONLY FOR PAIN BUT FOR THE FEELING OF JUST PLAIN HAPPINESS.(ISN'T IT SAD THAT SOME OF US ARE UNABLE TO ACHIEVE THAT NO MATTER WHAT WE DO?)  I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN, BUT I WAS NOT TOLD BY A DR. THAT I LACK THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF ENDORPHINS TO MAINTAIN THAT "NORMAL" FEELING. DEPRESSION RUNS IN MY FAMILY, AND I HAVE BEEN TAKING PAXIL FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS NOW.  40 MGS A DAY. THIS REALLY ONLY HELPS WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY. YOU DIDN'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT ANTIDEPRESSANTS-HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THEM?  I ALSO TAKE 40 MG OF OXY PER DAY AND CAN LEAD A NORMAL HAPPY LIFE.  I WONDER IF SOME DAY OPIATES WILL BE PRESCRIBED FOR DEPRESSION.  THAT PROBABLY SOUNDS RIDICULOUS BUT GEE, IT WORKS! IT REALLY IS CONFUSING BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS YOU CAN LOOK AT IT, AND ONE DOCTORS OPINION WILL BE DIFFERENT FROM ANOTHER. ANY WAY, SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE WHO HAS EXPRESSED THE SAME FEELINGS I HAVE. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND MAYBE WE CAN KEEP IN TOUCH. :)

[Brian to Sick and Scared § ALL you guys]

Opiates used to be prescribed for depression and there is scientific evidence that they are effective for depression in a certain percentage of patients that don't respond to the conventional antidepressants.  There is research ongoing regarding this topic.  Don't expect any changes in prescribing however, at least in the U.S.

[To Gene From BB (Aug 5, 2000)]

Hi Gene, time has pasted now and I was just wondering if you are clean?  I stumbled across this web site looking for answers to my own problem.  I too am addicted to Oxycodone, Hydrocodone,Lorcet, whatever and I could take up to 5 perks 4 times a day, faithfully for about 2 years.  I had blood work done and some of my liver enzymes are elevated due to the acetaminophen.  Kinda scared so I figured I would taper myself down and try to quit on my own.  I know I have a problem, but I have such a high prestige image and job that I wouldn't want anyone to know including my husband.  How did you do?  Do you think with will power and putting up with sweats and chills and stomach pains I can get thru withdrawl in a few days?  Let me know how you are and write me back.  And to everyone else who have written I enjoyed and can relate to all of your problems.

[To Gene From BB (Aug 5, 2000)]

Hi Gene, time has pasted now and I was just wondering if you are clean?  I stumbled across this web site looking for answers to my own problem.  I too am addicted to Oxycodone, Hydrocodone,Lorcet, whatever and I could take up to 5 perks 4 times a day, faithfully for about 2 years.  I had blood work done and some of my liver enzymes are elevated due to the acetaminophen.  Kinda scared so I figured I would taper myself down and try to quit on my own.  I know I have a problem, but I have such a high prestige image and job that I wouldn't want anyone to know including my husband.  How did you do?  Do you think with will power and putting up with sweats and chills and stomach pains I can get thru withdrawl in a few days?  Let me know how you are and write me back.  And to everyone else who have written I enjoyed and can relate to all of your problems.

[Gene to Joanne]

I just barely noticed your message as this thread is so old.  I am still clean after about 3 weeks but it hasn't been easy!  I could not stop on my own & I had tried.  So I went to my family doctor & told him. He was very supportive of my problem. He suggested an inpatient facality which I knew was my only option at this point in my life.  After much research & a few false starts, I went into a good place & detoxed using methadone.  It took 6 days & then I went home.  It was a painless detox & I attended many AA/NA meetings & learned about my addiction & how to stay sober.  After I came home, the real fun began!  I have been feeling very tired, achy, easily stressed out, & have had trouble sleeping every night. But I was on Oxycontin 2-4 80 mgs a day.  (that's 32-64 percs a day!)  And I was snorting them for 2 years.  So I have a lot of opiates built up in my body.

I did not tell my job why I was out for a week but I certainly told my wife & family & friends & all were very supportive.   I think that telling others about your addiction helps you to recover from it.  I also have a sponsor & go to AA meetings almost every day.  That helps keep me from following my overwhelming desire to use opiates again to feel better.

If you read my newer posts as well as other posts you should get a lot of realy good information that will help you.  You should also consider putting up your own message so that you can generate a lot of good feedback & help that you need right now. This website is the next best thing to going to AA meetings & the information that you can get in response to your post can save your life, marriage & job!
Good luck BB.

[Frank]

I found a very helpful site www.oxycontinNightmare.homestead.com

[Mike]

I WAS ON OXYCONTIN-40,OXY-FAST,OXY-IR FOR 5 YEARS AND WHEN I WENT THREW DETOX IT WAS VERY HARD.I HOPE YOU DO VERY GOOD IN REACHING  YOUR GOAL.METHADONE WOULD BE YOUR BEST BET,AND ICE COLD WASH-COLTHS AROUND YOUR NECK WILL HELP MORE THEN WHAT YOU THINK.

[Gene to Joanne]

I just noticed your message to my very old post.  Thanks for the advice.  I went to inpatient detox for 6 days & they used Methadone to detox me.  It was pretty painless.  However, after I left there & was off all opiates, I felt absolutely dreadful!  I couldn't sleep. I had muscle cramps for 4 weeks, I had no energy at all, a constant headache, & a messed up digestive system.  But after 11 weeks now,  I am coming back to life.  I am fully functional, I sleep great, I eat too well, & I don't miss Oxy...  well just a little!  I also have been going to AA meetings for the past 11 weeks & that has really helped a lot.
I gave up pot, cocaine, & quaaludes with no problems bur opiates are in a whole different ballpark: incredibly addictive, mentally & physically.

[ronda]

Hi.  I have been taking Lortab (10mg hydrocodone, 500 tylenol) for about 4 years now.  I was taking 3-5 a day for about 2 years, then got prego and took none for 9 months, then started taking 8 a day since this past May.  I was wondering if anyone knows if this drug can damage your KIDNEYS?  I have been having a burning pain in my left lower back, and it comes and goes throughout the day?  I cant afford to go to my doc right now, but hope to go in about a month.  I just had all kinds of blood work done about 2 months ago and my liver is fine anyway.  I just have migraines and high cholesterol.  I dont know if the blood work I had done included checking my kidneys.  I'm not sure if they can be tested by a simple blood test?  DOes anyone know?  Well, I am very scared of kidney failure and need someone to help me out and give me some advice about this back pain and if it could be my kidney.  Has anyone heard of lortab causing Analgesic Neuropathy or kidney damage?  Like I said, I am only taking about 8 a day so I wouldnt think it would damage my kidneys, since my liver is fine too?  This is the way i take them: 1 in the morning, then 2 4 hours later, 2 four hours later, then 3 before bed.  I NEVER take more than 3 at once.  I hope someone can help me out cause this pain is scaring me.  I noticed with every post on here, that nobody mentioned their high doses for long periods of time, causing kidney problems?  That gives me some hope anyway cause I am taking ALOT less than most on here.  If someone can help me out, that would be GREAT! Thanks :-)  BTW, I started the Milk Thistle for my liver so I hope it keeps my liver in good shape.

[ronda]

Hi.  I have been taking Lortab (10mg hydrocodone, 500 tylenol) for about 4 years now.  I was taking 3-5 a day for about 2 years, then got prego and took none for 9 months, then started taking 8 a day since this past May.  I was wondering if anyone knows if this drug can damage your KIDNEYS?  I have been having a burning pain in my left lower back, and it comes and goes throughout the day?  I cant afford to go to my doc right now, but hope to go in about a month.  I just had all kinds of blood work done about 2 months ago and my liver is fine anyway.  I just have migraines and high cholesterol.  I dont know if the blood work I had done included checking my kidneys.  I'm not sure if they can be tested by a simple blood test?  DOes anyone know?  Well, I am very scared of kidney failure and need someone to help me out and give me some advice about this back pain and if it could be my kidney.  Has anyone heard of lortab causing Analgesic Neuropathy or kidney damage?  Like I said, I am only taking about 8 a day so I wouldnt think it would damage my kidneys, since my liver is fine too?  This is the way i take them: 1 in the morning, then 2 4 hours later, 2 four hours later, then 3 before bed.  I NEVER take more than 3 at once.  I hope someone can help me out cause this pain is scaring me.  I noticed with every post on here, that nobody mentioned their high doses for long periods of time, causing kidney problems?  That gives me some hope anyway cause I am taking ALOT less than most on here.  If someone can help me out, that would be GREAT! Thanks :-)  BTW, I started the Milk Thistle for my liver so I hope it keeps my liver in good shape.

[joan]

Gene,
How did it go?  I am in recovery, having drank my last drink 5/5/85.  Since then, I haven't used any drugs off label.  But, I use Oxycontin at a prescribed dose of 60 mg. a day. Most days, I'm making it with 40 now.  

Recently, I have had increasing memory loss and I am being told it is from the drug.  But, I'm concerned.  I feel as if I am having entire memory blackouts, similar to a few bad incidents when I was drinking.

First, how is your recovery going?  And second, at the dose you were snorting, how was your memory?  I need to know if I need to
have my head examined - literally this time!

[oxycontinsux]

I have a 47 yr old father whom is perscribed to oxycontin because he has a plate in his neck and has an extremly bad back. He abuses these pills, he crushes them up and snorts them up his nose. He was told to see another doctor because his last doctor heard that he was abusing them. So he gets another doctor and he under medicates him, or so my father tells me. Not only is he addicted to the medication oxycontin, but I have been snorting the drug with him. I am 23. And now i have the feeling of not getting my morning fix everymorning unless i dont have an oxycontin. Ive done many drugs perscriptions and street drugs, and oxycontin scares me the most because they are easy to be addicted to. Should i tell my mother and maybe ruin his 24yr old marriage because if my mother found out that he has been abusing them she would leave him? I dont know weather im comming or going. Should i ask my dad to go to detox together? He would never go but I have more willpower about these things. How to get a father that you love to stop doing oxycontins for over 3 years. I have been on the drug for about a year. Someone please help i dont know where to start.
    

[Matango]

Wow, that's a powerful story.  I think you should sit down with your old man and have a talk about your fears.  Don't tell your mom yet, there's nothing worse than an addict scorned.  No offense of course, I just don't want to see your dad lash out at you because you're in the way of his fix.  

It sounds like you really love your dad so I would just be honest with him.  He's got a pain problem but that can't be a crutch for addiction and abuse.  Personally there's nobody I'd rather have by my side when quitting than my dad, especially if we were in the same boat.  

Sometimes if people hear it from someone they truly love they'll find the power to stop.  I know that's what's driving me.  

Good luck my friend.

[oxycontinsux]

Thanks for the advice. I will keep you posted on my progress.

[Britania Caroline]

I have had back promblems my whole life. when I was 12 I was put on vicodin. Throughout HS I did Cocaine,X, I smoked pot, and angel dust. Then at 17 my BF and I were in a quad accident. the doc put me on norcos a form of percocet. they stopped working and he gave me oxycontin. I went from doing 20mg to 80mg in less then year. I am 23 and do 240mg a day sometimes more. when I would run out I would do herione. I tried a detox/rehab program. they gave me anxiety, blood pressure, muscle relxers and suboxene. the suboxene was supposed to help with withdrawls. they dont. I put 12 of them under my tounge for the littelist bit of relief. well, I'm back on oxys, when I run out this is what I do to feel better. I go to the local grocery store and buy imodium (immodium) ad( for diarrhea & cramps), Midol extra strength 12 hr relief make sure it has naproxen in it, muscle rub such as icy hot, sleeping pills, and heating pads. take hot baths as much as possibe, and drink lots of water. you won't feel like yourself. but you will feel better. I hope this helps someone.

[Mr. did it my way]

I'm 38 days clean (100%) after a 6 year 400mg. oxycontin habit started with surgeries (X4) and my good Dr.  Look people get a set OK?  I was lucky because I've been through a LOT worse things than the terrible withdrawl symptoms.  I had all the normal often written about symptoms BUT I was determined to stop and I did and I'm through with that horrendous stuff!  At this point I'm still having off days but most are as normal as before I started with the meds. Again, I wanted to tattoo my brain with the absolutely miserable withdrawl symptoms and I sure as hell did. NO MORE ever again. That's correct, 38 days clean after a stone cold turkey stoppage of that terrible stuff.  This is a TRUE story. If I can do it YOU can to!!  BE STRONG.......DO NOT GIVE IN TO IT AS IT JUST PROLONGS YOUR MISERABLE LIVES PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!!   I fell great now I'm OFF the O's.     Right ON!!!!!!!  I did it for me and me alone.   DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  STOP USING.  Good luck to you all and may God have mercy on your souls.  J

[no-more]

Withdraw is tough. My ex-girl friend probably tried to quit 10 times...
Britania, did you go the those conventional detox program or did you try the rapid detox program? I read about this program in Vegas that can wean people off in a day or 2 (http://www.kvbc.com/Global/story.asp?S=6156913). Try rapid detox las vegas search to find the clinic for more info.

[ronnie4]

I am a recovering opiate abuser. I rode the train from percs to heroin. While in my addiction and many attempts to get clean I thought I could never live without having some type of opiate in my system. The end of my addiction was just about staying well. Are you at that point? Living to stay unsick? A point of desperation and hopelessness is a great motivator (a blessing in diguise). I was right where you are now. I could not imagine living without some type of narcotic help. I was so fooled in thinking it would be ok. I finally hit that point. I dropped to my knees, got willing to go to any lengths and dove into A.A. & the 12 steps of recovery. I found that after time with working the steps and gaining a sense of GOD in my life, I really could live without drugs....really. It replaced that void that opiates gave me and gave me a new direction in life. I am now a little over 3 yrs. clean now.

[TiffNick76]

THANK YOU ALL FOR SHARING YOUR STORIES OF HOPE. I GOT HOOKED ON NARCOTICS AFTER HAVING CANCER AND THEN I DEVELOPED FIBROMYLGIA (fibromyalgia). I HAVE USED EVERYTHING FROM PERCOCET TO OXYCOTIN. I BLAME MYSELF AND THE DOCTOR FOR CONTINUING TO SUPPLY MY NEED. I ACTUALLY NOTICED THAT THE NARCOTICS, AFTER A WHILE, BEGIN TO MAKE MY PAIN WORSE. BUT ANYWAY, I AM MUCH BETTER. IT HAS BEEN 4 WEEKS NOW. I HAD TO CONFESS TO MY DOCTOR THAT I WAS EXTREMELY ADDICTED. I DID NOT THINK THAT THERE WAS LIFE WITHOUT PAINKILLERS. BUT, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THERE IS. THANKS. TIFFANY

[Mom4215]

I have a 27 yr old son that is in a treatment program as we speak for oxy abuse. He was snorting about 10-15 a day. He went through detox & is now in a in patient program. Today is his 13th day clean, but he is struggling. Please..someone tell me that they did it without methodone, so I can tell him a possative story to go on. EVERYONE we have spoken to re this has gone the methodone way & are now dependent on that.
Thanks ,
A Mom that really dosen't understand..but is trying.

[toxictome]

This is an old post. Go back to the forum and post  anew question...you will get many more responses.

[jeff82951]

I have been off oxy for 2 months now.  About a month ago I noticed a return of depression symptoms.  I have had 3 major depressions in my adult life, the first one at 29.  I am very depressed and frustrated.  I took the oxy for legitimate pain, but I abused it and was made to stop by my doctor.  I know now the oxy was making me feel "normal" happy as well as relieving my physical pain.  Now my life is joyless and the Celexa I am taking has not helped in the 3 weeks I've been on it.  My day is long and unproductive.  I feel totally worthless now, but I don't feel that way when my head is screwed on straight.  Any ideas on how to get my life back would be greatly appreciated.  jeff

[bmc1976]

This post is a little old. Sometimes the older posts get passed up. At the top of the page click on "post a question" and start a new thread. You will get so many responses if you do this. There are so many wonderful people on here willing to help and share their experiences. Best of luck to you! If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!
brian

[TiffNick76]

METHODONE IS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE WORST WAYS TO GO. BECAUSE YOU FEEL HIGH LIKE YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE ABUSING THE NARCOTICS. PEOPLE GET HOOKED ON METHODONE JUST AS EASY AS OXY OR ANY OTHER PAINKILLER. I WOULD SUGGEST NOT TO USE METHODONE AT ALL. THERE IS SOMETHING MY DOCTOR GAVE ME AND IT'S CALLED SUBOXONE. (I HOPE I SPELLED IT RIGHT). IT'S ACTUALLY A NARCOTIC THAT REALLY WAS A LIFE SAVER FOR ME WHEN I WAS DEALING WITH THE NIGHTMARISH WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS AND SUPPOSEDLY YOU CAN'T GET HOOKED ON IT. I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH IT. TIFFANY***

[Vicks628]

Hi guys!
Im 26 and I never thought I would be writing on something like this but I had an experience recetly that I want to share...

I tried percoset about 1 year ago because I had surgery and needed them...but then somehow convinced by doctor to give me another script... once I realized that I was counting the hours until I could take my next dose I knew I had a problem but didnt stop....

Unfortunately I had some bad peopel around me at the time who had access to harder stuff like Roxys and Oxycodones!  I am so close to my mom and hated the deception, but I went for it, figured it would help me enjoy law shcool a little more and Ill stop "next week"... it was always "next week"... this went on for over a year, and finally, after getting more and mroe pills thru WAY illegal ways, I decided to get off them because i hated the deception and I didnt even feel like myself anymore!!! I stopped going out, and doing all the things I always did with my friends!!

My friend suggested SUBOXONE so withdrawl wouldntbe bad, and it worked, but the prob was that it blocks ur receptors so that if u even TRY to take an oppiate while on it you will go thru withdrawal symptoms even worse and will DEF not feel any high...

My luck, 4 days after I started my secret detox, I was taken to emergency room for major intestinal scar!  My mom came with me and i finally had to admmit what i was taking and what I was on (because i didnt want any conflicting meds..)- turned out they gave me morphone over and over again for the major pain i had and it only made the pain WORSE!!!!! turns out the combo of the 2 coudl have KILLEED me if i was on a higher dose of SUBOXONE (shouldnt the docs have checked that????!!!)- needless to say, i had no pain help and have never suffered more...

I have been clean now for 27 days and my mom and I are finally developing a relationship/trust again... it was the biggest mmistake of my life and i want you people out there to know that there IS LIFE AFTER DRUGS!!! we can FEEL again and MOVE again and find things in LIFE to get us high naturally!!--

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SEE HOW WEAK YOU CAN BE IN ORDER TO REALIZE HOW STRONG YOU CAN BE.  All will be ok.. stay strong out there people and if u need to talk message me at ***@****.  xoxoxo ~Vicky

[mr.lucky66]

I glad you are doing well and drug free. your story illustrates the danger of suboxone when you need emergency pain relief

[Mander1983]

I really wanted to post a comment when i found this site.  I also am a sufferer from oxycontin addiction. I have been addicted to these dangerous narcotics for over 2 years and I find it hard to function without them.  It has also taken over my financial life.  I have been interested in quitting for some time now but just could never strike up the nerve to confess my problems to my doctor, also, I could never make it through the withdrawals.  After seeing my doctor last week we developed a weekly plan to slowly wean me off these terrible drugs.  I will feel some withdrawals and I will be taking over medications to cope with the weekly decrease in milligrams.  Right now I am using 220 mg a day.  My doctor prescribed me 180 mg / a day for 7 days.   During my next visit I will decrease by another 20 mg for another week. Until eventually I am on 5mg a day, then abstinence.  I am so grateful for having a doctor that understands the epidemic of oxycontin addicts.  It's a killer and its taking over the life of millions of young people like myself.
Right now i'm focusing on finding ways to keep me positive through my transition to sobriety and how to stay drug-free when I complete my treatment.
Good luck to all who are struggling just like me.
Oxy Addict
-- If there is anyone out there who has any ideas how to make my transition easier and keeping my mind off of these drugs once I am drug free. Please I am very interested in your ideas.

[HOPEFUL1011]

i HAVE BEEN ADDICTED TO TABS AMD OXIS FOR ABOUT 10 YEARS NOW. ABOUT 3 MONTHS AGO I QUIT ON SUBOXINE AND TRHOUGHT I WOULD NEVER USE AGAIN. THEN ON A WEEKEND I RAN OUT OF SUBOXINE AND HAD TO PULL DOUBLES BOTH DAYS SO THOUGHT I WOULD GET SOME OXIS JUST TO COVER THE WEEKEND THEN.GO BACK TO THE SUBOXINE WHEN THE CLINIC OPENED. NOW 3 WEEKS LATER I AM BROKE AND CANT AFFORD TO BUT THE SUBOXINE,AND HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DETOX ON MY OWN SINCE SUNDAY AND AM STILL SICK. IT ONLY TOOK TWO DAYS THE FIRST TIME BEFORE I STARTED FEELING BETTER.NOW HERE IT IS 4 DAYS AND THIS IS THE WORST I BROKE DOWN AND TOOK TWO TABS TODAY AND AM SOOOO ASHAMED NOW I KNOW THAT THAT 4 DAYS OF SUFFERING WAS FOR NOTHING AND I HAVE TO START OVER. THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER WITH THAT SUBOXINE I WISH I COULD AFFORD IT. IAM REALLY SCARED OF WHAT IS TO COME.I AM TERRIFIED THAT I WILL NEVER BEAT THIS.I AM SO CLOSE TO GETTIN SOM OXIS AND FEELING BETTER.I HAVE SO MUCH THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. I AM REALLY SCARED AND MAD AT MYSELF.HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WORDS OF WISDOM

[AddictsWife4]

My husband just went through home detox. It's been a week now. The first 4 days were the worst. He's not anywhere near the way he used to be, but he's not having all the horrible side effects anymore (diarrhea, cramping, hot/cold sweats, twitching, etc). It was so hard watching him go through that, but I'm so proud of him! He did it all by himself. He didn't wean himself off oxy either. He just stopped cold-turkey and didn't take anything to help. He just suffered his way through it. He's taking detoxifying capsules (all natural) to cleanse his lungs, kidneys, liver, blood, and colon and all natural sleeping capsules to sleep at night. Last night, he took a bath using epsom salts and he said he felt relaxed and less achy when he was done. I just want him to get better and my greatest fear is that he's going to relapse. Hopefully this info gives you hope...

[oxyhead]

i take 100mg methadone a day, probably 70mg valium. couple xanny bars and about 200 mg of oxycontin, and i smoke alot of weed i cant stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  been doing this for 5 years now WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!