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Is this normal? Husband..addict. Me? Going Crazy.
Just need a little support and insight. My husband has graduated in 3 short months, from 160mg of oxy, 40 percocets, 30 mg valium, 20mg ativan and 60mg of ritalin ( for when he needs to be awake ) to...about 240mg of oxy, 50 percocets, same for the ativan and valium....about 80mg of ritalin and is taking HGH injections.
The HGH injections are supposed to increase the libido significantly. So...tonight I suggested we get intimate, (since it is the only time I feel like I'm with the man I fell in love with). He LOST his mind on me. Swearing, slamming doors, tore a strip off of me, like I had committed some horrible offense. I'm at my wits end. At the point where I don't even know when it's safe for me to speak. I could say something one day, and he would be happy and all rosy about it...then the next day, if I said the exact same thing, he would jump down my throat, make me feel like a rotten piece of ****. I can't keep up...he's angry all the time, and when he's not, I can tell it's a huge effort for him to be somewhat happy or positive. He is forgetful...not just about little things...for example, the day I got a new vehicle, he took it for a drive and we went for coffee and he commented on the smooth ride. One month later when we took my vehicle to the mall, he got in and said, "wow...this is the first time I've ridden in your new car"
Is this normal.
I'm not sure why I'm on here and posting this. I guess I just need to hear from you guys that I'm not losing my marbles and this is what someone who has these addictions does. What else should I expect? I know I have to look out for myself. He won't stop ... not for me...not for the kids. I won't leave him...mostly because I have to live with my own actions and I wouldn't be able to live with that. So.....I think I am on here because this is where people can relate...and I just need to vent. Thanks for the ear and any feedback.
Best of luck to all.
The HGH injections are supposed to increase the libido significantly. So...tonight I suggested we get intimate, (since it is the only time I feel like I'm with the man I fell in love with). He LOST his mind on me. Swearing, slamming doors, tore a strip off of me, like I had committed some horrible offense. I'm at my wits end. At the point where I don't even know when it's safe for me to speak. I could say something one day, and he would be happy and all rosy about it...then the next day, if I said the exact same thing, he would jump down my throat, make me feel like a rotten piece of ****. I can't keep up...he's angry all the time, and when he's not, I can tell it's a huge effort for him to be somewhat happy or positive. He is forgetful...not just about little things...for example, the day I got a new vehicle, he took it for a drive and we went for coffee and he commented on the smooth ride. One month later when we took my vehicle to the mall, he got in and said, "wow...this is the first time I've ridden in your new car"
Is this normal.
I'm not sure why I'm on here and posting this. I guess I just need to hear from you guys that I'm not losing my marbles and this is what someone who has these addictions does. What else should I expect? I know I have to look out for myself. He won't stop ... not for me...not for the kids. I won't leave him...mostly because I have to live with my own actions and I wouldn't be able to live with that. So.....I think I am on here because this is where people can relate...and I just need to vent. Thanks for the ear and any feedback.
Best of luck to all.
Hi, I can relate. My husband is just like yours. I do not use drugs and I feel like I am living in my own personal hell. He treats me worse than someone would treat a dog. Leaves me at home alone most nights. Never tells me where he is going. Doesn't call. Won't show up for days. I don't know where he is, he lies CONSTANTLY. He steals from me and pawns things all the time. He will betray me on the drop of a dime. He's high most of the time to where I can not have a normal conversation with him. I feel like I run a baby sitting joint with the biggest out of control baby on earth. He spends all our money and does not contribute to our household. What we need to know is that our husbands literally are crazy. I do not mean this in passing. They have a MENTAL CONDITION. Most drug addicts are trying to compensate for something that is missing- a lot of times something missing upstairs. My husband is mentally ill I have discovered and is bi-polar. They need to be medicated for the bi-polar condition or they will continue to self medicate. I think your husband maybe bi-polar as well. My husband doesn't remember anything we do or have done together either. He doesn't remember our conversations. I am to the point where I am bitter against him. We don't have sex. He disgusts me. He needs medication and so does yours. Otherwise the marriage is just a piece of paper- nothing else. I don't even consider myself to have a husband. He does NOTHING for me or to help me and I know if I EVER EVER need ANYTHING he is the absolute last person I would call. Think about divorce. I know its hard but he has already walked out!
Well, about libido- opiates for me turned my ejaculatory system into a malfunctioning goop slobbing yellow goop? I know that is gross.. my point is that, and I know that not everyone is the same, but if he's taking all these pills he knows that his sexual abilities are not what they used to be. I am beginning to really feel sorry for this man. I mean he works, goes to meetings and is this bad off on drugs? I can almost not believe this. In fact I can't see how a man can outlast this lifestyle for long. Such a history behind him.. wow this guy must be strong.. or must have been strong.. but even the strongest of the strong can, will, have and will continue to die from drug overdoses.
I have decided to pray for you both because this is a very complicated situation.. or I just don't get out much..
ps- my sperm is white and fresh again :) I know tmi but I had to tell of the good news of being off opiates.
Good luck, prayers can save lives. I really hope good things happen for you both Shaston.
I have decided to pray for you both because this is a very complicated situation.. or I just don't get out much..
ps- my sperm is white and fresh again :) I know tmi but I had to tell of the good news of being off opiates.
Good luck, prayers can save lives. I really hope good things happen for you both Shaston.
Hey there...
Pain pills, along with alot of different drugs affects the sex drive.... It can deffinetly put a strain on the marriage... Prolly the best time to try an be intimant with him is when he's in the very best mood possible.... even then it may not work, or you may not be in the mood.... The pillls take over everything... they replace sex, they replace the things that were enjoyed the most, hobbies, and lots of other things... to someone addicted, especially as deep as he, the pills brings all the so called " happiness" and fulfillment that is needed... Still i remember finding playing with my kids to be fun, and certain other things.... but when i didn't have the pills i found nothing joyful.... i had to have pills to find any kind of happiness with anything... But soon that all changes... After a while even the pills couldn't help my mood... seems like i was always in a fog.... the only time i got in a good mood is when i would be out of pills and be sick as hell, and then someone would come threw with some for me... thats when i'd get happy real fast.... I had a really beautiful girlfriend that used to tell me that she couldn't believe she had to beg me for sex..... looking back now, i wish she were still here...lol Does he ever initiate intimacy? Like....ever? maybe try an wake him up intimatly in the morning before he has a chance to take his meds.... just an idea... may not work... always worked for me though... once its started its easy...lol Anyway, I understand when you say you'd rather be with him then without him... the pills have become part of the norm for you too, not just him... its not a normal thing really... but it you have become used to it... So its a little easier for you to hang in there cause its been this way for so long... if you two had just met yesterday and he was like he is now, theres no way you would stay.... But you know he needs you... and in some sort of way you might be regulating what he does without even knowing it.... I remember i would be pretty high, yet wanting to do more....but i didn't want to hear about it from whoever i was with at the time.... silent regulation.... and i knew they needed me to a certain extent so sometimes i'd hold back a little.... if you weren't there who knows how many more he might take... it may seem that he does take all he can handle.... but i assure you that it doesn't matter if the eyes are rolling back in the head.... we still feel like we need more and will take more even though we won't get any higher.... that part of addiction/abuse....
Please continue to come to this site and ask questions and get feedback.... research it online.... its important that you know whats happening when its happening.. why he does what he does.... why pills do what they do, etc etc etc.... please keep us posted .... You're in my prayers
matterfact
Pain pills, along with alot of different drugs affects the sex drive.... It can deffinetly put a strain on the marriage... Prolly the best time to try an be intimant with him is when he's in the very best mood possible.... even then it may not work, or you may not be in the mood.... The pillls take over everything... they replace sex, they replace the things that were enjoyed the most, hobbies, and lots of other things... to someone addicted, especially as deep as he, the pills brings all the so called " happiness" and fulfillment that is needed... Still i remember finding playing with my kids to be fun, and certain other things.... but when i didn't have the pills i found nothing joyful.... i had to have pills to find any kind of happiness with anything... But soon that all changes... After a while even the pills couldn't help my mood... seems like i was always in a fog.... the only time i got in a good mood is when i would be out of pills and be sick as hell, and then someone would come threw with some for me... thats when i'd get happy real fast.... I had a really beautiful girlfriend that used to tell me that she couldn't believe she had to beg me for sex..... looking back now, i wish she were still here...lol Does he ever initiate intimacy? Like....ever? maybe try an wake him up intimatly in the morning before he has a chance to take his meds.... just an idea... may not work... always worked for me though... once its started its easy...lol Anyway, I understand when you say you'd rather be with him then without him... the pills have become part of the norm for you too, not just him... its not a normal thing really... but it you have become used to it... So its a little easier for you to hang in there cause its been this way for so long... if you two had just met yesterday and he was like he is now, theres no way you would stay.... But you know he needs you... and in some sort of way you might be regulating what he does without even knowing it.... I remember i would be pretty high, yet wanting to do more....but i didn't want to hear about it from whoever i was with at the time.... silent regulation.... and i knew they needed me to a certain extent so sometimes i'd hold back a little.... if you weren't there who knows how many more he might take... it may seem that he does take all he can handle.... but i assure you that it doesn't matter if the eyes are rolling back in the head.... we still feel like we need more and will take more even though we won't get any higher.... that part of addiction/abuse....
Please continue to come to this site and ask questions and get feedback.... research it online.... its important that you know whats happening when its happening.. why he does what he does.... why pills do what they do, etc etc etc.... please keep us posted .... You're in my prayers
matterfact
He will never go back to rehab again. He was there about 4 times years ago for alcoholism. Also went to detox 3 times. Been to a few hundred AA meetings. Emergency room about 8 times. He vows he'll never seek that kind of help again.
All I can do is stand by him until he's ready, which is no time soon.
All I can do is stand by him until he's ready, which is no time soon.
Hi Again:
In answer to your questions....NO, he doesn't know that I'm on this site. He would totally fly off the handle if he knew I was seeking support/advice from anyone or even just discussing his situation, period. To be perfectly honest, he spends the majority of his time at his office/apartment, which is not far from the family home. He claims to always be working, but we both know without saying it, that he's sleeping or not in any condition to be around the kids.
Yes...he works though. When he has important meetings, or any work related stuff to do, he pops or chews a bunch of ritalin to stay awake and alert. Then when he doesn't need to think anymore, it's back to the pain killers.
I never talk about his pill intake because it starts a huge fight. The other night when I suggested sex, he freaked out on me...like how dare I be so insensitive as to want intimacy when he's as stressed out as he is??? He NEVER admits that it's the pills that have killed his libido, his personality or triggers his explosive anger. He constantly blames work and the stresses of providing for the family. Yet, his addiction costs way more than what it does to run the household. He always complains that we spend irresponsibly, but I would never dare to bring up the price of his pills...that's a whole new war.
I never call him on his lies anymore, because there is no point. It just causes another fight. He'll never stop lying.
Anyone outside this forum would probably ask why do I stay? There's an old R & B song that had one line that went something like this: "I'd rather live in his world, than live without him, in mine". Yeah, kinda cheesy but that's my frame of mind right now. Who knows...someday that might change.
The man I married? I don't know if I even know who he ever was. I fell in love with him. He was a drunk. I knew absolutely nothing about alcoholism, but I learned quick. And that's how it started. He was suffering and needed help...and I was going to nurse him back to reality. WOW! I had no idea what I was in for. When the real him emerges one day...he'll probably realize I'm not the one for him. Lol.
So sorry if I've bored you with my long story. Nice to chat with people, that's all. Thank you so much for listening and writing.
In answer to your questions....NO, he doesn't know that I'm on this site. He would totally fly off the handle if he knew I was seeking support/advice from anyone or even just discussing his situation, period. To be perfectly honest, he spends the majority of his time at his office/apartment, which is not far from the family home. He claims to always be working, but we both know without saying it, that he's sleeping or not in any condition to be around the kids.
Yes...he works though. When he has important meetings, or any work related stuff to do, he pops or chews a bunch of ritalin to stay awake and alert. Then when he doesn't need to think anymore, it's back to the pain killers.
I never talk about his pill intake because it starts a huge fight. The other night when I suggested sex, he freaked out on me...like how dare I be so insensitive as to want intimacy when he's as stressed out as he is??? He NEVER admits that it's the pills that have killed his libido, his personality or triggers his explosive anger. He constantly blames work and the stresses of providing for the family. Yet, his addiction costs way more than what it does to run the household. He always complains that we spend irresponsibly, but I would never dare to bring up the price of his pills...that's a whole new war.
I never call him on his lies anymore, because there is no point. It just causes another fight. He'll never stop lying.
Anyone outside this forum would probably ask why do I stay? There's an old R & B song that had one line that went something like this: "I'd rather live in his world, than live without him, in mine". Yeah, kinda cheesy but that's my frame of mind right now. Who knows...someday that might change.
The man I married? I don't know if I even know who he ever was. I fell in love with him. He was a drunk. I knew absolutely nothing about alcoholism, but I learned quick. And that's how it started. He was suffering and needed help...and I was going to nurse him back to reality. WOW! I had no idea what I was in for. When the real him emerges one day...he'll probably realize I'm not the one for him. Lol.
So sorry if I've bored you with my long story. Nice to chat with people, that's all. Thank you so much for listening and writing.
well I was on meds for back pain for 8 years but i never took anything but opiates.. never smoked, drank, never did even pot.. or any street drugs my whole life. still I was on the opiates and at times sleeping pills b/c the opi gave me nightmares and the sleeping pills helped me not remember them I guess?
anyway it was hard for me to get off the opiates.. just recently I did. I tapered after realizing that my doctors were scammers, the didn't care about me.. I recently found out they were just egging me on about being 'disabled' and having a bad spine.. then I found out that after a year they hadn't even sent in a disability medical form with all the questions about the patient's condition. Never sent it in. I called someone at the disability office and they said 'your doctor never sent in the forms'. After that I began to really look at them.. I could see that there was no real care there and I was deeply saddened but I was also angered and so much in fact that I decided to go off the pills w/o even telling them.. I put the extra pills crushed them and mixed them appropriately in with my cat **** litter and dumped them into my incinerator.. I told them I was tapering.. they were saying things like "oh don't be ashamed you're on pain medicines, nothing to be ashamed of" "we can switch you to this drug, and that drug, and this patch, and morphine, and methadone" yeah yeah yeah.. more business for the doctors. how about a big '**** YOU". That's what I did and I'm off and will always remember this experience and am happy to share it b/c you cannot trust doctor's not all of them and especially those pushing these kinds of drugs onto people.
Remember life isn't about drugs it's about other things and we have to be smart enough to figure all of it out. Good luck to everyone..
Shaston your man is in a very complex web with all those chemicals that man needs to get into a hospital and detox like yesterday and that will take a long time with all those medications he's on. I think he deserves your love still and your support.. You are probably the only one who can help save this man.. in more ways than one.
Gerard
anyway it was hard for me to get off the opiates.. just recently I did. I tapered after realizing that my doctors were scammers, the didn't care about me.. I recently found out they were just egging me on about being 'disabled' and having a bad spine.. then I found out that after a year they hadn't even sent in a disability medical form with all the questions about the patient's condition. Never sent it in. I called someone at the disability office and they said 'your doctor never sent in the forms'. After that I began to really look at them.. I could see that there was no real care there and I was deeply saddened but I was also angered and so much in fact that I decided to go off the pills w/o even telling them.. I put the extra pills crushed them and mixed them appropriately in with my cat **** litter and dumped them into my incinerator.. I told them I was tapering.. they were saying things like "oh don't be ashamed you're on pain medicines, nothing to be ashamed of" "we can switch you to this drug, and that drug, and this patch, and morphine, and methadone" yeah yeah yeah.. more business for the doctors. how about a big '**** YOU". That's what I did and I'm off and will always remember this experience and am happy to share it b/c you cannot trust doctor's not all of them and especially those pushing these kinds of drugs onto people.
Remember life isn't about drugs it's about other things and we have to be smart enough to figure all of it out. Good luck to everyone..
Shaston your man is in a very complex web with all those chemicals that man needs to get into a hospital and detox like yesterday and that will take a long time with all those medications he's on. I think he deserves your love still and your support.. You are probably the only one who can help save this man.. in more ways than one.
Gerard
You know.... You really are a strong person! The things that you're going threw with him would split a million families up.... There are also those as strong as you that hold on.... when I read some of the stories and meet some of the people on this site that have been on the other side of addiction, your side, It makes me realize even more what my family has endured and gives it to me in someone elses point of view....
For that I thank you and debbie and everyone else on these sites.... I'm new to this type of thing, opening up... But I'm not new to addiction... The finacial side of is pretty tough too! Buying stuff on the street gets so expensive! Not to mention dangerous.... Does he work at all? I'm guessing not... How do you manage? You hear stories everyday of folks just like all of us, that have everything and go threw addiction and come out with nothing at all, sometimes their life included.... Hollywood stars are left with nothing...no one is untouchable! As was mentioned, it may take 14 years to occur, only you can decide if you want to wait that long.... That man you married, he is prolly still in there somewhere... eventually, he'll show his face again.... But, alot has happened and alot of it he may never remember.....EVER! I meant to ask you and i forgot...I thought about it last night.... This is something i went threw, when I would hear my family talking about addiction with someone or asking questions... I'd get so mad at them....I'm still not sure why.... But does he know you come to these sites? that you need someone to talk to about these things? The reason i ask is, If you think he would fly off the handle on you if he found out, or walked in on you on this site, and would be enraged, then come to this site at work....or when you know you're alone... Cause maybe you've told him and he seemed not to care....but remember that everyday is different... He may not of cared yesterday ....but today goes off.... Thats part of them type of drugs, and throw steriods in wth it.. his mood will always be different.... you know that.... Be careful is all... God bless
matterfact
For that I thank you and debbie and everyone else on these sites.... I'm new to this type of thing, opening up... But I'm not new to addiction... The finacial side of is pretty tough too! Buying stuff on the street gets so expensive! Not to mention dangerous.... Does he work at all? I'm guessing not... How do you manage? You hear stories everyday of folks just like all of us, that have everything and go threw addiction and come out with nothing at all, sometimes their life included.... Hollywood stars are left with nothing...no one is untouchable! As was mentioned, it may take 14 years to occur, only you can decide if you want to wait that long.... That man you married, he is prolly still in there somewhere... eventually, he'll show his face again.... But, alot has happened and alot of it he may never remember.....EVER! I meant to ask you and i forgot...I thought about it last night.... This is something i went threw, when I would hear my family talking about addiction with someone or asking questions... I'd get so mad at them....I'm still not sure why.... But does he know you come to these sites? that you need someone to talk to about these things? The reason i ask is, If you think he would fly off the handle on you if he found out, or walked in on you on this site, and would be enraged, then come to this site at work....or when you know you're alone... Cause maybe you've told him and he seemed not to care....but remember that everyday is different... He may not of cared yesterday ....but today goes off.... Thats part of them type of drugs, and throw steriods in wth it.. his mood will always be different.... you know that.... Be careful is all... God bless
matterfact
wow.... I'm sorry you went threw that.... I've seen that so many times with people I know....or used to know.... Sometimes it takes what seems like a lifetime for people to change.... Please remember when he comes home, you have to ease into the past... don't jump straight in the barrel! Be supportive for as long as it takes....if you start bringing up the past before he is ready to talk about it you could trigger something in him to make him want to go use.... He knows he's hurt you and his family.... this is something that he's greiving over, in a way.... No smart coments, you know ....stuff like that... That kinda stuff made me want to go get high so bad when my family would bring it up.... cause i was still dealing with all the guilt from all the years i hurt them, it killed me when they'd throw something at me about how bad i'd treated them.... Now, you have every right to want to tell him your feelings about how he's done for so long... And trust me, you'll get your chance... but try an take it easy on him for a little while... let him bring it up, and ask questions.... After a while you two will be able to speak about it with no problems, comfortably... I can honestly sit down with my family today and talk about things I've done and didn't remember till they said something... but that took a while... I wish you guys the best, You're in my prayers....
matterfact
matterfact
no prescription...needless to say, it gets very expensive...I feel like my life is an neverending episode of intervention.
it's not funny but refreshing to hear you tell the story about wanting to video tape him, because he couldn't remember things he said....happens all them time here.
you sound just like i did. my husband used herion b4 we got married was clean for the first 6 years of our marriage. started to slowly use again but for an addict it doesnt stop. the lies, deceit,forgivefulness, anger, no relationship ( forget about intimacy) fighting, excuses, INSANITY IT DOESNT STOP. YES u begin to think u are crazy like i know he told he something then the next day says i never said that. no i didnt say that i said this i wanted to tape record our conversations and set up a camera. but they believe their own lies. the reason he is on such high doses is because his body has build up a tolerance and needs more and more. i went through this for FOURTEEN YEARS with my husband of first morphine, then he did coke then went back to his favorite (DOC- drug of choice) the opiates methadone and xanax along with alcohol. my children 24,18 were at first to little to know the difference but then knew the signs,heard the fighting and are sorry to say they both started to use. i then had to more children now 12 and 10. in the beginning i feared the worst as you said a call from a hospital or the police that he was shot or stabbed trying to cop or in a car
accident or overdosed. then the last couple years i wanted him to die and i wanted to kill him just to stop the INSANITY my whole family was a mess. so one year ago i kicked him out thought that would wake him up instead his addiction got worse. i went to a lawyer and was about to file for divorce. BY THE GRACE OF GOD he woke up took himself to a detox on feb 21st for 5 days and now has been in a christan rehab since then. i can finally see and talk to the man i married. the drugs are leaving his system. he was so sick the first 3 weeks, lost 20 lbs, didnt eat, still doesnt sleep except 2 or 3 hours a night, but PRAISE GOD he is recovering. we have a long way to go. you need to decide if you want to wait for him to be ready to be clean only they can decide threatening,leaving, asking if he loves the family or the drugs more. the answer is the drugs when they are in the midst of it. now he cant apologize enough or cry enough or tell us he loves us enough we lost 14 years. it is a tough road. either you walk next to him or leave that unfortunately are the only 2 extreme ways. well may GOD GRANT YOU THE PATIENCE TO EXCEPT THE THINGS YOU CAN NOT CHANGE AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS,
debbie
accident or overdosed. then the last couple years i wanted him to die and i wanted to kill him just to stop the INSANITY my whole family was a mess. so one year ago i kicked him out thought that would wake him up instead his addiction got worse. i went to a lawyer and was about to file for divorce. BY THE GRACE OF GOD he woke up took himself to a detox on feb 21st for 5 days and now has been in a christan rehab since then. i can finally see and talk to the man i married. the drugs are leaving his system. he was so sick the first 3 weeks, lost 20 lbs, didnt eat, still doesnt sleep except 2 or 3 hours a night, but PRAISE GOD he is recovering. we have a long way to go. you need to decide if you want to wait for him to be ready to be clean only they can decide threatening,leaving, asking if he loves the family or the drugs more. the answer is the drugs when they are in the midst of it. now he cant apologize enough or cry enough or tell us he loves us enough we lost 14 years. it is a tough road. either you walk next to him or leave that unfortunately are the only 2 extreme ways. well may GOD GRANT YOU THE PATIENCE TO EXCEPT THE THINGS YOU CAN NOT CHANGE AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS,
debbie
hi,
I agree with you 100%! That is a rediculas amount of meds! is he getting them from a doc or buying em off the street? Cause I've seen doctors that will prescribe way too much, they should have their license yanked..... But yes....all forun substances are hard on the liver and kidneys.... normally it wouldn't effect em that extremely but as high of dosages as he's taking.....well, I see why you fear for him so much.... Somethings gotta give..... Or he may not live threw the traggidy..... he may be the traggidy... I'm so sorry to hear of your situation.... I really wish there were somtheing i could do to help you.... God bless you
matterfact
I agree with you 100%! That is a rediculas amount of meds! is he getting them from a doc or buying em off the street? Cause I've seen doctors that will prescribe way too much, they should have their license yanked..... But yes....all forun substances are hard on the liver and kidneys.... normally it wouldn't effect em that extremely but as high of dosages as he's taking.....well, I see why you fear for him so much.... Somethings gotta give..... Or he may not live threw the traggidy..... he may be the traggidy... I'm so sorry to hear of your situation.... I really wish there were somtheing i could do to help you.... God bless you
matterfact
girl Im tellin ya, I would not have been able to go through w/d's 2 years ago (my first try) if not for this site. I was so miserable, crying, hurting, and I didn't really take all that many pills (10 at most a day), and I just got online and said i need help, found this site, and everyone was so helpful and kind and going through the same thing! I just thanked God for that, and I knew when I could get back online (I couldnt for a year, was living in the country and no internet), I would find this site again, now im ADDICTED TO IT!! LOL,
for real, it is the best forum on the net...:) I'm glad you found it!
for real, it is the best forum on the net...:) I'm glad you found it!
Thank you. Just the kind words of understanding make such a huge difference. Unless people have lived it, they don't quite understand. This site has been so therapeutic.
Thanks for sharing your story. And I'm so sorry for what you've been through. It sounds like you're recovering well. I've been going through this for over 7 years now...first with his alcoholism, and over the last 3 years, the pills. I totally accept his addictions and now, I no longer blame myself, or interfere with his intake. He knows that I will help when he's ready to stop, but he's made it clear that he's nowehere near ready. He is never physically violent towards me or the kids, and thank goodness they are still too young to really notice anything unusual with their dad. BUT one day, they will figure out that it's not normal for people to nod off and fall asleep at the dinner table, or mid sentence. I hope that one day, we can look back at all this and laugh and thank God we no longer live like that...unfortunately, I know you're right and the tragic event will more than likely have to take place before there is even a chance of seeing those days. Thank you again.
well again I am no doctor, but I've read alot on this subject. That is a whole whole lot of pain medicine, plus the ritalin on top of that and the downers (ativan and valium-I think are about the same thing?) is really taxing on your kidneys and liver. You're not supposed to have more than 2400 mg of acetaminopen a day according to most people. So, yes, that's way above the amt. that his liver can process and flush his system!
I don't have any real good advice for you. Like said, he is not going to change for anyone but himself. I hate that for you, but that is the way addiction is. He will have to do it.
Please keep posting, this site is so helpful if only to let you know other people care what you're going through. Take care of yourself and God Bless You
I don't have any real good advice for you. Like said, he is not going to change for anyone but himself. I hate that for you, but that is the way addiction is. He will have to do it.
Please keep posting, this site is so helpful if only to let you know other people care what you're going through. Take care of yourself and God Bless You
Thanks for your post. Every now and then I just have to come on here for some reassurance that I am not alone. And even though I know it...it's just comforting to have that contact with people who get it. I cry less now because I'm starting to accept that when he flies off the handle, he probably isn't aware of it or how extreme he's being.
Please tell me one thing...aren't the amounts he's on ridiculously high? I mean, 50 percs a day is 16,250mg of acetaminophen. Do the oxy's affect the liver too?
He sleeps alot at his office/condo and when I don't hear from him for hours, I always fear the worst. Not a good feeling. Thanks again.
Please tell me one thing...aren't the amounts he's on ridiculously high? I mean, 50 percs a day is 16,250mg of acetaminophen. Do the oxy's affect the liver too?
He sleeps alot at his office/condo and when I don't hear from him for hours, I always fear the worst. Not a good feeling. Thanks again.
howdy,
I'm sorry to hear of you're situation.... it sound oh so familiar to me though..... I myself have put many of my loved ones threw the same type of hell that you are getting rite now... He will never quit for you or the kids, he may one day try but he will never quit successfully until it is for him..... believe me when i say, one day he will look back at his actions with you / his family, and regret the abuse / treatment he's dished out for so long.... there are still many hurtful things that I've done to people that i still don't remember unless brought up. and when i look back at the ones i remember all i can think is....what the hell is wrong with me??? unfortunetly, it will prolly take something tragic to happen in his life to spark the thought in his head that somethings gotta change....For me it was the loss of 7 friends that all od'd on painkillers, the loss of my father, going to prison , my wife and daughter getting killed by a drunk driver, and so many more factors.... Its really sad it took so much to open my eyes.... Hopefully it won't take as much for him.... remember ....be supportive of him, when my loved ones stopped talking to me and wouldn't have a thing to do with me, it just made me want to get that much higher, and it sounds as though he's on so much medecine that he doesn't need any fuel to do more.... at the same time.... protect your children! if he starts getting violant with you or them pyshically, you have no choice but to get away.... that doesn't mean not accepting his calls. Just get somewhere safe where he can't harm you/kids. God bless you... I pray for you and your family... sorry this is so long, i hope it gives you some insight....
matt
I'm sorry to hear of you're situation.... it sound oh so familiar to me though..... I myself have put many of my loved ones threw the same type of hell that you are getting rite now... He will never quit for you or the kids, he may one day try but he will never quit successfully until it is for him..... believe me when i say, one day he will look back at his actions with you / his family, and regret the abuse / treatment he's dished out for so long.... there are still many hurtful things that I've done to people that i still don't remember unless brought up. and when i look back at the ones i remember all i can think is....what the hell is wrong with me??? unfortunetly, it will prolly take something tragic to happen in his life to spark the thought in his head that somethings gotta change....For me it was the loss of 7 friends that all od'd on painkillers, the loss of my father, going to prison , my wife and daughter getting killed by a drunk driver, and so many more factors.... Its really sad it took so much to open my eyes.... Hopefully it won't take as much for him.... remember ....be supportive of him, when my loved ones stopped talking to me and wouldn't have a thing to do with me, it just made me want to get that much higher, and it sounds as though he's on so much medecine that he doesn't need any fuel to do more.... at the same time.... protect your children! if he starts getting violant with you or them pyshically, you have no choice but to get away.... that doesn't mean not accepting his calls. Just get somewhere safe where he can't harm you/kids. God bless you... I pray for you and your family... sorry this is so long, i hope it gives you some insight....
matt
Hey there,
I can sure feel for your situation. Everything you describe is normal. Your hubby has no sex drive because of the drugs. HGH won't help what he can't feel.
The forgetfulness???? I remember going to the movies and walking out not remembering how it ended.
You need to look out for you and the kids until he figures out he needs to stop. You need to support him but not his habit. You could look up Alanon who would have the best advice for this situation.
Goodluck,
bob
I can sure feel for your situation. Everything you describe is normal. Your hubby has no sex drive because of the drugs. HGH won't help what he can't feel.
The forgetfulness???? I remember going to the movies and walking out not remembering how it ended.
You need to look out for you and the kids until he figures out he needs to stop. You need to support him but not his habit. You could look up Alanon who would have the best advice for this situation.
Goodluck,
bob
You are NOt loosing your marbles. The behaviors you describe unfortunately are common for addicts/alcoholics. I know that I put my wife through hell with my addictions. Often the person using the drugs he is on is out of touch so much that they are not even aware of their destructive behaviors.
The other piece of this (that you didn't ask about) is what now? Most addicts aren't going to stop using for anyone else. He will eventually need to find his own moment of clarity. A moment when he (1) acknowledges that he is addicted to _________, and that his life has become unmanageable and (2) that a power greater than himself can restore him to sanity. Sadly, that moment for me came after decades of drug and alcohol abuse.
good luck, stay strong and realize that though he may yell at you and make you feel horrible, (1) it is the drug talking, and (2) there is probably nothing really that you have done to deserve such abuse or treatment.
I have absolutely no advice on where to go from here. My first wife tried an intervention on me and I walked out because I wasn't ready to get well at the time. (hugs) fred
The other piece of this (that you didn't ask about) is what now? Most addicts aren't going to stop using for anyone else. He will eventually need to find his own moment of clarity. A moment when he (1) acknowledges that he is addicted to _________, and that his life has become unmanageable and (2) that a power greater than himself can restore him to sanity. Sadly, that moment for me came after decades of drug and alcohol abuse.
good luck, stay strong and realize that though he may yell at you and make you feel horrible, (1) it is the drug talking, and (2) there is probably nothing really that you have done to deserve such abuse or treatment.
I have absolutely no advice on where to go from here. My first wife tried an intervention on me and I walked out because I wasn't ready to get well at the time. (hugs) fred
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