I've been in good spirits, but the worst is finally here...

[kiylen]

I have hit a point in my taper where I am feeling sooo bad.  I am not really that far along.  A little more than halfway but I feel like I am being giving nothing!  I am waking up shaking, my legs hurting so bad I just cry and try to fight it.  I've got a long way to go and I can't give in this easily.  I get take homes and it is so hard not to just take some but then the real hell would be when I run out before I get any more.  I've already started the vomiting and I felt so bad this morning I couldn't even get my kids ready for school.  Talk about a bad mom!  I have klonopin I was trying to save for the worst but this feels like the worst.  I remember when I came off cold turkey what it was like and this time I choose to taper.  I won't say it's the worst because it's not, but it's really getting me down.  I almost feel like, okay, you've made it three months but you still have that much more to go and it will get worse!  I don't know what to do.  The depression is setting in and I'm losing my faith in God when he has been the main focus of my life besides my children.  Maybe it's just a really bad day and I will adjust to this dose drop.  I guess I'm so upset because I NEVER thought this would start this early.  Maybe toward the later stages, but not this early.  Should I just say forget it and drop off or stay on this dose a little while until I can adjust and try to keep going?  Please someone help...

[Charetti]

This too will pass.  Whatever you choose to do, keep tapering or ct, remember to keep you mind focused on what you want.  I am also tapering and its been hard but OK.  The taper symptoms are like menopause so I just blame it on that to my family.  I promised myself that when it got real bad I would just bite the bullet and go ct.

You are not a bad mom, just struggling through something really bad.  Take out is fine, and other shortcuts are fine too. Are you getting any help or support?  

I know sometimes it feels like God isnt listening but you have to remember that God is letting us have our own problems and solutions.  Keep your heart open to him and he will do his part, but your part is the hard part.

I'll be thinking of you!

[Holliee]

Hey sweetheart sorry your having a bad day. I will keep you in my prayers. Maybe your dropping to fast cause you have to remember that methadone also has a half life to. How fast you drop again> I know you want off and to be clean but you don't wont to do more harm by going to fast. Message me if you need to. I am here for you., Hollie