Just For Today.....

Question

We’ve heard it said that unless we’re in love, we can’t remember what loves feel like. The same could be said of insanity: Once we’re freed of it, we may forget how truly bizarre our insane thinking can be. But to be grateful for the degree of sanity to which we’ve been restored, we need to remember just how truly insane we’ve been.

Today it may be hard to imagine saying something as ridiculous as “May I please have a heart attack or a fatal accident?” No one in their right mind is going to ask for such things. And that’s the point. In our active addiction, we were not in our right mind. Each day we practiced our addiction, we courted fatal disease, degradation, exploitation, impoverishment, imprisonment, death by violence, even death by sheer stupidity. In that context, the idea of asking for a heart attack or fatal accident doesn’t sound all that far out. That’s how insane we’ve been.

Just For Today: I will take some time to recall how insane I’ve been while practicing my addiction. Then I will be thankful for the sanity that’s been restored to my life.

Today I am celebrating 60 days clean. I did a lot of reflecting while I read my daily meditation this morning (above). When I have insanity in my life today, it is because I chose to put it there. The drugs no longer make the choice for me, and for that I am grateful. 

Thanks to all you guys who were there for me from the beginning. And for those of you struggling today, there is hope.

Hugs to all………….

ilikevics · Answer

Congratulations!!  That is wonderful.  I am approaching the 30 day mark on Nov 11.  I am so relieved to be done with the vicodin.  It is amazing that in just this short time off of them, that I can look back and see how much chaos and insanity it created in my life, and those lives around me.  I still hate the fact that I drove my husband, who was my very best friend away, but the counselor I went to yesterday is helping me with that.  I have to realize that I can't change the past, but I can make the future better than ever.  And thank you also, IBKleen, for helping me through my meltdown last Sunday.  I really do appreciate your kind words.

what2donow · Answer

I am so proud of you IB!!!You are the reason I am still in this post at all and when I do get sober,you will have played a huge part in that!!!It is amazing that through your journey,you are able to help other the way you do.You have many jewels in your crown and I hope to one day be there too!!!Thank you for everything,this beautiful post included!

Jennifer

road2recovery · Answer

Congrats....I am so very proud of you and happy to have you in my life!!  you have helped me more then you know..
you are one of the most caring , giving, individuals'  i know!!

keep up the good work!
r2r

imanaddict · Answer

Thank you for that!

FLaddict · Answer

Girl I am very very proud of you B.

tramhamilton · Answer

Congrats on the 60 days, i only hope that one day i will be able to post that. One thing is for sure i am going to stay on this forum keep everyone updated and try to give advice to the people that i know things about like klonopin and tramadol.

oxypen · Answer

that post was awesome, you were right, I can so relate, I still feel like I'm in the insane world, but messages like that give me hope that one day, soon I will be free from this insanity.  You have been such an inspiration to me, and as I can see here, to so many others.
Congrats on the 60 days

IBKleen · Answer

Bringing up the rear is the story of my life!!! LOL LOL

Thank you guys all so much for your well wishes! It means a lot to me. 

BTW..4 or us this week celebrating 60 days? Something in the water, or what??

PromisedLand · Answer

Congrats, IBK!!  So very proud of you..a great feeling isn't it?  And no, you still can't have Bear! :-)



Jim

wait2long · Answer

hun, i am so proud of you right now!!!  you oh so deserve this day, its your day!!!  your daily meditation says it all...and your free from the insanity and the insane thoughts that addiction knows so well. everyday that you continue with this battle to stay "sane", is another notch in your belt...you have done so much for me that i cant be thankful enough to have you in my life and on my side on a daily basis...all i can do is wish and hope i can someday return the favor. your a compassionate lady hun...and know where you have come from, and havent forgotten where some of us still are...you are an inspiration to me, because i know what you battle everyday...and everyday your still there for me...THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH B!!!  LUV U!!!

CAliGirl888 · Answer

ReadING that gives Me HOPE and something to be positive about today... T
Thank you for those words.... I hope and will hit day 60 like you:)

liscamdave · Answer

Thank you for this post. It is extremely deep and gives us all something to reflect on, active or not active. Thanks sweetie...

Congrats on the 60 days......

xoxo, Lisa

avisg · Answer

LOL IBK is the caboose of the avis R2R clean train    hahahahahahaha

avisg · Answer

woooo hooooo you are doing great ........ Ya know i luv ya ....... i am very proud of you

Marce4 · Answer

What a wonderful post and congratulations!!!!!  I couldn't possibly add anything more to your post....thanks so much for that!  You deserve to get your nails done!!!!!!!LOL 
Peace!
Marcie

1234betterlife · Answer

AWESOME!!! 60 days.....that is a major accomplishment as you well know. what an inspiration you are to all in this forum. the words you speak are so true. insanity was our best friend. only when you creep to the other side do you realize just how bizarre and twisted our minds become in pursuit of "feeling better". a coping skill so irrational in its truth. how did we ever think we were "dealing" with issues. if i have a hit, a pill, a line...i can get through this day, this meeting, this conversation....everything will be better because i have enough of my doc to make it today. what a farce...the choice of sanity and empowerment you made is evident in your post. i hope others can see what you have earned from this struggle and how powerful your words are. controlled insanity. the choice to live life to its fullest. you made it and are living it. i am so proud and happy for you.

LIZZIE LOU · Answer

awh hell...i lost my sanity years ago and don't think it's coming back...

i didn't know you were right behind avis and r2r...

congrats to you sweetie...you've worked hard for this, all the while reaching out with support and compassion for others.   this forum is blessed to have you here.

YOU GO GIRL...YIPPEE...WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

huge hugs,
kim (the permanently insane one)

Just For Today.....

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community