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Just For Today...
just for today is not working for me today...i cant even take it one day at a time anymore. im tryn minute by minute rite now and im just barly making it..tonite im having the hardest time iv had in a long time..i realy dont see me making it through the night sober. i am spiritualy empty i could just scream rite now til i lose my voice n taste my own tears&name=criminal
Oh hun!!! I just saw your post. I am soo soo sorry. I don;t want to seem nosy, so please anything I ask do not be offended. And if you dont want to answer, please just tell me to shut up. ok?
First of all...hun..how old are you? Second of all, and I know you already know this. The mixture and amount your playing with is definately scaring me. Not to mention how small it makes me problem seem.
What about this roomate of yours. Do they know your trying to get clean? Do they offer you their meds? Or do they support you? Do you have any family near you can go to? Man if I could I would take you in myself! Is there anything at all you can get wrapped up in besides the using? 30 days is a hell of an acomnplishent my friend! Way to go. And, we all slip sweety. It just means get up and start again. You went that long, you can do it. I have faith in you, I can hear the desperation in your posts. You definately want to do this. And you can..look at what you just acomplished? 30 days! I wish! So that is proof right there, you have what it takes to get it done.
Please stay with us here, and let us help you.
First of all...hun..how old are you? Second of all, and I know you already know this. The mixture and amount your playing with is definately scaring me. Not to mention how small it makes me problem seem.
What about this roomate of yours. Do they know your trying to get clean? Do they offer you their meds? Or do they support you? Do you have any family near you can go to? Man if I could I would take you in myself! Is there anything at all you can get wrapped up in besides the using? 30 days is a hell of an acomnplishent my friend! Way to go. And, we all slip sweety. It just means get up and start again. You went that long, you can do it. I have faith in you, I can hear the desperation in your posts. You definately want to do this. And you can..look at what you just acomplished? 30 days! I wish! So that is proof right there, you have what it takes to get it done.
Please stay with us here, and let us help you.
Sorry, I had you mixed up with someone else regarding the responsibilty thing, but the rest of my post is for you. Never stop trying.
i felt "it" coming the craving never goes away for me..so even with 30dayz clean i didnt feel safe and i still dont. im also bipolar and just started new meds so my mood is always up and down so i guess self medicating was partly an excuse to use last nite and it dont help that im tryn to stay clean yet living with an addict who gets 40mg 0xycontins from his doctor.im n0t tryn to make excuses..i know im weak and i am struggling every dam day and getting hopless n starting to think maybe i cant beat it
I'm so sorry that your feeling so badly. 30 days is a long time, that was a extremely hard thing to accomplish. Don't give up, get back on that wagon and try again. I know from another post that with all of your responsibilites it is hard, I wish I could come and do your job for you and you go go into in patient treatment or something to help you quit forever. I'll pray for you and all of us.
oh my god, i'm so so sorry. you know, you start getting up there in numbers (days) and you begin to feel safe, like you've got this thing licked. what was it? did you just feel like you went through hell just to feel like nothing very special? did you know it was coming? if you don't want to talk about it, i understand?
i've read this before, but a lapse is not a relapse. my prayers are with you.
i've read this before, but a lapse is not a relapse. my prayers are with you.
well i HAD 30 days clean till last nite..i went rite out after posting this last nite and took (ten) 7.5mg percocets then took two xanax Then shot 8 bags of heroin (thats on top of the 70mg of methodone i take daily)..im so ashamed of myself. my ambition is gone. iv been fighting so long im just worn out. but when i woke up this morning i broke and threw out all my "works" and my little lock box i kept all my works in..i dont want to be reminded of it..hopfully out of sight will be out of mind
Try to keep in mind the reason you want off...whatever your poison is. Do u have kids...a wife/hubby...a job...whatever you need to get you through this sink your nails in like a b*tch in heat and DON'T LET GO....
Remember there is also a higher power, at your worst moment, you will ask for him to take you, and he won't. Not to punish you, but to make you a stronger disciple. I believe every one of us has a destiny, some of his sheep just get lost along the way! You need to figure out whay will DRIVE and MOTIVATE you to quit.
~Lisa
Remember there is also a higher power, at your worst moment, you will ask for him to take you, and he won't. Not to punish you, but to make you a stronger disciple. I believe every one of us has a destiny, some of his sheep just get lost along the way! You need to figure out whay will DRIVE and MOTIVATE you to quit.
~Lisa
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