Fear is really what kept me hanging on. I got used to taking the pills before I did anything(work, jammed, hangout, concerts, social events) and got used to it after a while. It made me more motivated, energized, happy, like superman. Then the day came where I didn't have pills and I thought something was wrong with me. I had really bad social anxiety, panic attacks, loss of ego, judge myself really bad. So in fear of that I took the pills so I didn't have to feel that way. Then I found out what a withdrawal was and in fear of that I indulged. Then eventually I was just taking the pills to feel normal. The past year it was a fear of leaving the house without taking a few just to feel normal. I just think it is crazy how these pills change and shape our minds. If I knew what I do now, boy, the trouble and money and wasted days I would of saved..
Just think, we lived a normal life once, what is stopping us from getting that back? We had a good time without pills, what is stopping that from happening again? The pills are stopping it and making you feel the way you do, physically but mostly mentally. I hate the feeling of my life being a blur, a fog, a cloud and just all in all feeling crazy.