Just got back from detox....

[frankis]

hey guys and gals,
i dont know if anyone remmebers me i posted a month ago about my habit and i just got back from detox i was feeling good for awhile but now im starting to feel sick....i feel so tired i accidentally slept through my n/a meeting tonight. my legs hurt my back hurts i have the chills, is this normal i feel really irritable emotionally right now. they gave me a script of clonodine and trazedone to sleep my g/f (who doesnt use or drink) just went to drop them off for me. im doing outpatient 3 nights a week and going to go to some meetings but also im scared ive hjeard some stories about getting kicked out of AA for being an addict(i dont drink ever!). im scared to go to my first meeting and be kicked out. anyone with advise please let me know....

ps. im 5 days clean and sober.....and i refuse to go back.

[FLaddict]

No one will kick you out.. I went to AA for years and I also never had an alcohol problem.. Some meetings where old timers are more strict you may find they don't appreciate people going on and on about drug use and war stories.. but you will not be kicked out..

Awesome on your 5 days.. The clonidine will help alot and also the Traz.. If you haven't taken Traz b4 you may be groggy tomorrow.. the first time I took it I was very out of it the next day so becareful tommorrow morning.

XOXO
Stephanie
Day 64

[wickedwanderer]

why would they kick you out??  congrats on 5 days and going through detox.  i haven't gone to NA meetings as frequently as i should, and i know it's putting my sobriety in jeopardy.  the best advice i can give is to stick with outpatient (i did outpatient 5 days/week) and MAKE your NA meetings.  i should follow my own advice, huh

also...ya, be careful on the traz like fladdict said.  a small amount will probably knock you out.  you'll know if you have taken too much when you wake up...you will feel hung over!

good luck :)

[VOsRose]

I'm pretty new here, so I don't remember you or know your story.  I can tell you, though, I went through detox in a hospital back in April...I was there for 7 days and then came home.  I was very overwhelmed at the time.  In retrospect, I should have stayed in longer, but I can't stand the structure there.  I'm a smoker and those 4 10 min. smoke breaks were killing me!!!!  Of course, there is a reason for the structure.  I just have a hard time with it.

I struggled for several weeks with periods of extreme fatigue, anxiety, despair...but it got a little better every day, particularly after the first week home.  When I first came home, getting myself bathed and dressed was an all morning affair.  My arms felt like they weighed 100 lbs. each...lifting them to wash my hair wore me out to the point I had to rest for an hour before I could even think about blow drying it.  

You will get better...hang in there.  It takes some time, but when you look behind you, you will realize the time is not that long.  One day you will realize, "Wow!  I feel good today...really good!"  It's an awesome day, let me tell you!

Congrats on completing the first step towards recovery!  That was the easy part, really...now is the hard part...the psychological part.  Stay focused, remember where you've been and look ahead to where you're going.  Good luck!

[JRG]

Did they use subutex or suboxone to wean you off your drug of choice at detox? If so it takes about three days after you stop taking the sub before you start having w/d's. If this is the case hang in there and everyday will get a little better. The best thing is that you are clean and can see the light at the end of the tunnell.
Take care,
Jackie

[bettie1976]

No they will not kick you out! Thats not what theyre about. I suppose if you came in there stumbling drunk and spewing bs they might ask you to get a ride outta there but if youre sober youve got nothing to worry about.
Ive taken Trazadone over the past few years for sleep now and then, had a script with 12 refills but they ran out, it worked like a charm for me most of the time. I only took 50-100mgs at bedtime and the clonidine Ive taken twice as well. Once in my first detox and now I have them since I just got out of detox yet again.
Wishing you well and hope you feel better soon!

[bettie1976]

I wanted to add they used suboxone for me in detox and I had it for 5 days, tapering. The first few days after I got out I felt absolutely wonderful and was doing soo much to keep busy but yesterday I crashed. I just got mentally and physically worn out from doing too much. So I laid low yesterday. The only symptoms I had coming off the sub were a few teeny cramps yesterday morning (4th day after having sub) and a tad diarreah, goosebumps and chills. Nothing I couldnt handle tho and still smile!

[cherokee_gal]

Please dont worry about getting KICKED OUT of AA. Its a whole big controversy all over the place. If you dont have a problem with it, identify as an alcoholic/addict, that will placate them

[beachtowel]

First I want to congratulate you for getting through detox and even better your still involved and going to outpatient care a few days a week that is very important.........

Just to let you know something about AA/NA

For what ever reason in my opinion probably because alcohol is legal AA has a problem with a drug addict...........
When your looking for a meeting there are a few things to consider does it have a open speaker forum...........is it an open or closed meeting..........
If you go to a closed AA meeting a drug addict is not welcome........you are considered an outsider..........
They have adapted a slight change recently and now accept cross addiction acceptable.......I guess if you mix your Heroin buzz with some boose your kool........

open and closed meetings are imortant and open meeting means that participants do not have to be addicted and you can bring love ones with you and anyone can attend.........
A closed meeting in N/A means that you must be addicted to drugs or alcohol........
N/A recognizes alcohol as a drug.........

I try to hit three meetings a week my best friend is an alcoholic so I attend AA but he also enjoys an open speaker forum.........he would rather listen to a speaker instead of sharing at a table.....

I also will go to an open speaker forum for N/A I speak once a month at various locations......but I enjoy listening to a speaker sometimes one will put you to sleep but many are very good speakers who keep your attention and some are pretty funny and interesting........
My homegroup is a closed meeting where we all share in small or large groups........

The important thing is to get to a meeting and if your not comfortable at one try others there a different ones to choose from and also things like different age groups may help you.......there are
also listings for gay groups if that is your thing.............

[CATUF]

My experience with AA seems to be very different than what Beach reports.  For my first 7 months I averaged 10 closed AA meetings a week and I still go to an average of 5.  That adds up to over 660 closed meetings and I have never been made to feel unwelcome.  

Quite the opposite is true - I am made to feel VERY welcome.  I am not simply accepted/allowed at these meetings, I am an important part of the groups.  I was the GSR of my Home Group and I am now its Inter Group Rep.  I was the leader of that meeting for 13 straight months, until I stepped down because I really thought that torch should be passed.  If I miss any of my regular meetings, people note it and tell me they missed me.

That being said, there ARE a very few AA groups that will act in the manner that Beach attributes to AA as a whole.  There is one such group in this area - out of dozens -- so, I simply don't go to that group's meetings.  However, I don't write off AA because a small number of groups want to be exclusive.  

AA has been a critical element in saving this drug addict's life.

CATUF
DAY-802

[beachtowel]

Are you saying that at a closed group AA meeting an addict can stand up and say I am an addict and he is accepted.........

In Michigan and Ohio closed AA means alcoholics only......and they mean it..........

They will not kick you out literally that is not what I meant but AA is very different from NA

Catuf go to a closed AA meeting sometime and intro yourself as an addict and share experiences of using Heroin and watch the faces around you............that is what I meant.........

Is it a house of sobriety yes and that is what I feel is the most important but it is not always the case.....

[CATUF]

I have been to two closed meetings already today.  I introduce myself as an addict every time I go.  I have been doing this ever since I returned in Oct, 2005 from a four-month rehab.

Like I said, there is one group in my area where they don't welcome addicts -- I am told that if you even mention drugs there one of the oldtimers will actually interrupt and tell you that "you're at the wrong meeting - THIS meeting is for alcoholics."  But that's one group out of dozens, which accounts for three meetings a week out of about 80.

Of course, I've never been to AA in Michigan or Ohio, so I can't speak to what it's like there.  However, my experience in VA, WV and SC has been very positive and I ALWAYS identify myself as "a drug addict."  

I don't think anyone should be scared away from AA in one area based upon some other person's bad AA experience in another area.

[bettie1976]

Ive always said "hi Im bla bla and Im an alcoholic/addict" and have never had any problems. Ive been to tons of AA meetings and only one NA meeting.

[frankis]

thanks for all the advice everyone....im still getting crazy urges and aches and pains but im not going back to that life im heading to a meeting in about an hour and that should help......an hour and a half til day 6 :)

[beachtowel]

Now that I think about it there has always been an old dry drunk at the AA is the one who speaks up and says your at the wrong meeting.........

Its funny you said that...........

One time I got blasted so bad from this old dry drunk that the guy who ran the meeting came up to me and said I hope you come back but next time say Hi I'm Michael and I am an alcoholic........

Dry drunks are the worst......it seems like there mad at the world cause they can't drink anymore...

[3 1/2 yrs sober]

I had the hardest time with this when I was first trying to get sober.  I now have come to my own personal conclusion, this may help you, and it may not.  For me, I can and will become addicted to almost anything that changes or alters my mind.  Alcohol is one of those things, so I have no problem addmitting that I am an alocholic.  I used to really not think I was, but then the longer I stayed sober, the more I began to realize that when I was using and couldn't get my drugs, I was just a blackout drunk!

[frankis]

hey everyone wanted to check in with you again.....the AA meeting went well i adentified myself as an alcholic/addict and no one had a problem....alot of people said they were there for drugs but to just identify as and alcholic and ill be fine....i got a number from a guy clean 8 years off heroin i think i might use him as my sponsor i actually didnt bring money and he even offered to by me the big book...i feel great today so much better than yesterday....i was on subutex in detox....last night i had a little bit of the electric feeling trying to sleep so i took another traz and that did the job should i expect to crash tommorow? i feel so much better than yesterday today.

[3 1/2 yrs sober]

GREAT FOR YOU!  It sounds like you are on a pink cloud, ride it for as long as it lasts!  So glad you had a good meeting last night!  I think you will be fine tomorrow!

[frankis]

o ya one more quick question should i expect a withdraw from clonidine? they have me on it 2x a day first week 1x a day the 2nd?  also sometimes at night i get this wierd feeling threw my body almost like a shock or electric and it makes me twitch anyone know how to stop it?

[FLaddict]

That feeling is not from the clondine... it may just be your body still adjusting..
They suggest a taper from the clonidine since it can cause a spike in blood pressure when you discontinue it..since its been lowering your BP..