Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

lol lol you are too funny. YOU SURE that North Star wasn't the FULL MOON? :) Just a thought. I am fine.+ GOOD for you on day 16. WOW I can't even imagine. I have not even started mine yet. STILL trying to PSYCHE up for it if you know what I mean. BUT I am on like 4-6 vicodin AND 4-6 Soma everyday for last 7 years....You know my story. I am TIRED of it all and I do not work anymore so I am thinking WHY am I taking this ****....I only have like a couple more days of vicodin and that's IF I use it sparingly. Can't refill until Sunday. I HATE this merry go round. HOPE to join you soon. I keep reading these stories, though as it helps me get ready. Thanks

by Breakingfree, Sep 25, 2007 02:31PM

To: Precious Pearl Fladdict

hahaha It WAS a STAR!!! haha I remember just a few weeks ago...down to my last 10, and I knew I was no longer going to get a script after 3 straight years, and I spent any extra money already with 'the man'. I know where you are... Oh the stories we could tell about it. I was sick of it all, always running out early, spending money I didn't have, asking friends. Honestly, the first week was hard!, but I'm telling you, you CAN do it!!! I pretended and put in my head that I really had the flu. Now, today, for the first time in 16 days, I feel so very close to normal! HANG in there GUYS & GALS!!!

by Breakingfree, Sep 25, 2007 03:32PM

To: lustforallthingspointless

Thank you SO much! That was very sweet and meaningful. If anyone ever loses faith in our human race they can just come to this site and they will gain it back! I hope the best for your boyfriend. I was the opposite. My boyfriend has never taken a vicodin or pain med for anything. He tried hard to understand what I was going through, he always asked how I was feeling from day to day... but in reality, he has no idea what it felt like. He just sees now that I am 'much better'. He says I seem happier. I remember telling him about my vicodin use near the beginning of our relationship, and I remember him saying ' It must be terrible to have to depend on a pill to feel 'normal' and not be sick. That was so true and those words hit home. I was beginning to realize just how far I had gone. Let me know if you need anything!

by Precious Pearl, Sep 25, 2007 04:52PM

Hmmmmmmmmm I LIKE that comment that your boyfriend said about "it must be terrible to have to DEPEND on a pill to feel normal and NOT be sick" THAT'S how I feel. I mean the Rheumatologist says I have fibromyalgia, had lower back pain (which is gone after out of work for a year now) Did HEAVY work on the back. I just feel like I am getting closer and closer to stopping this merry go round. I asked the Pharmasist today if I could just go cold turkey after taking 4-6 vicodin for 7 years and he said I'd get seizures??? I am a little confused but I will keep posting and reading until MY day comes. :) Thanks

by Breakingfree, Sep 25, 2007 05:26PM

Again, I am not a nurse, but it is rare that anyone has seizures. Believe me, I researched w/s before I did it and it is also very rare that its life-threatening. Its more dangerous to quit c/t from alcohol than form narcotics. And I have known people who have w/d from both without any dangerous side effects. A pharmacist is not a Dr. even though some like to think they are. They, as a pharmacist, do not have the proper education about w/ds. Its like As*holes, everyone has one. :) *** If you do a taper that will ease your mind from that. You CAN feel normal again w/o the pills. I KNOW its hard to believe it...been there! And NOT long ago! I felt today, for the first time in 16 days, myself again. 16 days ago I never thought it would happen. It has. I still have tiny stuff from the w/ds, but not enough to hardly even think about. We are here for you!!!

by Greg Miller, Sep 25, 2007 05:41PM

To: allmyfriends

Yea, I found ya all!

It would appear that the original string of posts has either automatically reset itself or was re set. It was becoming rather lengthy.

What a great day today! Feeling more and more normal every day. The back pain is starting to let up and after reminding myself to LOOSEN UP in the neck area, the tension is letting up its grip on me. It’s amazing how much tension the body will build in the neck and shoulders.

Howls everyone else feeling today?

by Breakingfree, Sep 25, 2007 06:23PM

To: Greg

HEY! You found us! whew! Doing great today, really good! I am so happy to see you are doing great also! Thats awesome Greg! I felt so good today I can't wait until tomorrow... but guessing I may up looking at that North Star again! haha

by Knight Errant, Sep 25, 2007 06:31PM

To: greg

Hey Greg, glad you found us.  I was starting to wonder if this website removed the forum 'cause we were bashing the medical establishment!  LOL

Yeah, I tend to get lots of tension in the neck, and shoulders.  When I was going through bad withdrawals I was getting mind altering tension through out my entire chest and back.  OMG, that alone will keep me straight.

Today was a great day.  I never thought I'd get to this point.  I am sad we lost that forum, because it had so much important history, something that I, and others, could read to remember where we were and how far we've come.

You, my friend, were there from the beginning.  I'll never forget that.

K/E

by Knight Errant, Sep 25, 2007 06:37PM

To: breakingfree

You, dear, are an inspiration.  :)  I remember when you first posted.  You were so sick.  You are so brave, wow, I am in awe!  You did it!!

After going through this, doesn't the small stuff seem easy?

About your comment on needing a pill to feel normal...  For the longest time, years actually, I told myself I didn't need the pill, but rather I just prefered it.  It wasn't until I acknowledged that the pill controlled me and everything I did that I decided to get off. I hate being controlled.  I felt like a puppet. I feel so good just feeling free.  Free at last.

:)

K/E

Here's to the north star, and all beautiful things in the sky.

by Breakingfree, Sep 25, 2007 07:38PM

To: K/E

Darn it! You brought tears to my eyes again...but happy ones. I am speechless once again. And when I am up at night looking at that huge sparkling north star, I will think of you...and the rest of you, too.

by Breakingfree, Sep 26, 2007 05:41AM

To: Greg K/E

How are you guys feeling? K/E, how are you doing with your taper? Greg, how many days now? Give me an update! I'm on day 17...wow. Its all good..........

by Knight Errant, Sep 26, 2007 06:18PM

To: breakingfree

Hey, breakingfree, I am doing really good.  Thanks for asking.  Yesterday you mentioned that you slept until 5:00 a.m. This morning when I woke up I looked at the clock and it read 4:48, and the first thing I thought was “I almost tied breakingfree.”  LOL That’s the best I’ve slept in awhile.  I rarely make it through the entire night.

My taper is working out well.  I didn’t really do it the right way from the beginning, though.  Or maybe I did, in hindsight.  It’s exactly a month today that I made the decision to get off the pills.  Initially I went from many, many pills a day to two a day.  In the spirit of a taper, which is supposed to adapt your body to less and less drugs, this was way too much.  The first week wasn’t too bad, but on like day 7 I started having brutal withdrawal.  It kicked my ***, but I hung in there.  Actually that’s when I found you guys.

After my body started to stabilize I tapered a half tablet a week.  I am at a half in the afternoon, and a half at night now.  This Friday I am scheduled to drop another half.  I might go a few days at just a half, or I might just quit totally on Friday.  I seriously doubt my body “needs” a half a pill a day, or I might go two or three days at a half and be done. Either way I am excited!! I am rounding third and heading for home.

I am glad that I got a good taste of withdrawals.  I never want to go through that again.  I think if it is too easy to get off, it’d be too easy to get back on.   The odd thing is I haven’t had any cravings.  It’s like I magically lost interest in the drug.  That has never happened before during any of my previous half baked and half hearted attempts at quitting.  This time something was different, like I knew it was time.  Have you ever been in love with someone and you worshiped the ground they walked on, and then they did something cruel or mean, and almost instantly you saw them in a different light?  Pills were my lover, and they betrayed me, and I’ve put their bags on the curb, out of my life.

My withdrawals are much less intense, and less frequent now.  I don’t get those hot flashes, or the creepy skin sensations.  The fatigue has improved a lot.  I think the worst is muscle tightness and spasms sometimes during the day.  But I feel soooo much better.

I’ll tell you how I feel.  It was like my soul was trapped in a dark cellar for years.  Now it feels like it’s standing in the sun after a Spring shower.  I feel cleansed.  I see the pieces of my life in front of me, ready to be assembled, to be made whole again.

Always the best,

K/E

by Breakingfree, Sep 26, 2007 08:43PM

To: K/E

You know, listening to you just now and hearing how well you are coming along... I don't have words to say how PROUD I am of you, and sometimes I seem at a loss for words to convey it. We have poured our hearts & souls out to one another to get through this, and we are doing so well! You have no idea K/E what it means to me when you say you thought of me when you woke at 4:48 am. I made it until 5:11 this morning! haha We were both probably looking at the clock! I am with you, in my heart, all the way. I am on day 17! whew! It is good... very very good! I look in the mirror, and my pupils are not the size of saucers from w/d, I have a look of peace on my face, I feel happier inside, I don't feel that "I'm running low on vics feeling!" i.e. When? Where? How much? How many? Too soon? Make these last until when? Borrow from whom again? Will they know? Mom again? Auntie again? Mail again? $$$$. When I look back just 2 weeks ago, It was the beginning of the end. Thank God. I am so fortunate to have gone down this road with you K/E...and Greg too. I didn't do my taper the right way when I had the chance. I am so happy you had that. I went down FAST. But...its OK now, and I am a new person. Builds character. Any w/d will build character! Even though I have gone through this...I am happy to have known you guys and had a chance to meet you and go through it with you. I wouold not have had it any other way. Sweet dreams....

by Knight Errant, Sep 27, 2007 06:37PM

To: breakingfree

Hi breaking.  I hope you had another good day.  I had a suberb day.  Day 18 for you?  Day one seems like an eternity ago.  Has it only been 2 1/2 weeks?  Amazing!

I am so disappointed we lost our original forum.  :/  I wanted to preserve that history so much.  It was life changing.  I felt like so many people were being reached and encouraged.  Everyone seems to have moved on?!

I would very much like to keep in touch.  With Greg too - are you out there? I want to share that 30th day clean with you, etc..

Shall we continue to greet here, or via email?  Thoughts?

K/E

PS - your pupils were only the size of diner plates?!  Damn, I thought I was staring at two freakin' dinner plates when I looked in the mirror.  LOL  :)-

by Knight Errant, Sep 27, 2007 06:38PM

To: breakingfree

Duh, I meant:

PS - your pupils were only the size of saucers? Etc....

Have a great night!

by Greg Miller, Sep 27, 2007 08:34PM

To: Any and all

Oh, you can’t shake me off that easy!  I’ve been right here every night.

Anyway, my buddy Vince came over tonight.  I have not seen him sense I moved a couple years ago.  I knew he was coming so I tied a string to the top shelf of my medicine cabinet to the door.

He asked where the bathroom was and I sent him, thirty seconds later SMASH!   LOL!!!  Man you should have seen his face!   I could not believe it!

I have to tell you guys, I don’t think poor old Vinny will be coming by again any time soon.

I am all for Email contact.  I miss the old board too!  It really chronicled our departure quite well.

by Breakingfree, Sep 27, 2007 09:56PM

To: K/E- Greg

Wow...we can come here now and lately, continually laugh about some things! That was funny Greg! We all seem to be laughing more & more. I have a smile literally from ear to ear. There is no way I want to lose touch with you guys so the answer is yes, email it is. I will email you K/E with my email address, and I'm sure Greg will do the same, if he hasn't already. I meant to print our old forum... that will teach me to procrastinate! Still will be in my mind forever. I think about some of the things you guys have said alot during my day sometimes, and I laugh to myself. And you know, I think less & less about 'getting another pill'. (way way less craving) Nearly none now. I slept until 4:48 this morning! If you can go look at the moon tonight (not the north star :) lol - it is beautiful tonight! ( I must have this secret adoration for the evening sky) I just can't convey enough how you both have helped me through this... I only hope I did half as much for you... lets go for 5:30 am K/E!

by Knight Errant, Sep 28, 2007 04:04PM

Hello, Greg and breakingfree! Hope you both are having a great day. I got your email address Greg. Thanks. I am going to be sending you a note shortly.

Breaking, I will look at the moon tonight, and in my mind you'll be looking at it at the same time. :)

Be well all....

K/E

by Breakingfree, Sep 29, 2007 09:10AM

To: K/E Greg

How are you guys feeling this far along? Today is great so far... day 20! I just don't believe it... I really don't. I can't wait to hear how you guys are. I pray feeling just as good! K/E, I will email you soon. I don't have my kids this weekend so sometimes I'm not home alot! :) Being good though! It feels very good to feel this good... oh, I made it until 6:03 am this morning, More sleep than I've had in nearly a month. I will be thinking of you both all day.....how you doing Precious???

For anyone in the early stages of quitting: HANG ON... just hang on tight! Its so worth it.

by Nohydro, Sep 29, 2007 09:44AM

??????

by Knight Errant, Sep 29, 2007 10:48AM

To: breakingfree

I made it until 7:04 today, but I am going to call that a fluke. :)

I am doing great today. It is sunny and wonderful in my neck of the woods, to boot.

Catch up with you later!

K/E

by Breakingfree, Sep 29, 2007 12:35PM

To: Nohydro

What is your question?

by Nohydro, Sep 29, 2007 04:34PM

Its like you came from the twlight zone! Where did you come from? Earth?

by Knight Errant, Sep 30, 2007 07:13AM

To: Nohydro

Nohydro, we are from the planet Ork. Na-Nu Na-Nu You can call me Mork. The femalian one goes by Alf. Together with E.T. we have come to investigate your kind.

Excuse me I am getting a call from the mother ship.

by Greg Miller, Sep 30, 2007 08:35AM

To: king errant

Use the force King!

by Breakingfree, Sep 30, 2007 09:23AM

To: K/E Greg

Houston, we have a problem..lol.. Thanks for sticking up for me guys.......hope today is a wonderful one for you...

by chi-town guy, Sep 30, 2007 09:59AM

To: Break,K/E, Greg

I am sure what nohydro means is what site were you at before here or have all of you been at MedHelp on the same post for a long time and for some reason it was removed or are you really from Ork, lol

by dfr3, Sep 30, 2007 10:04AM

To: strange ones

I know I have halucinations but this is CRAZY

by Greg Miller, Sep 30, 2007 01:03PM

To: chi-town guy

We all kind of met up here on this site.  Some weeks ago, I posted a desperate plea to others that may have been going through the same withdrawal that I was.  King Errant and Breakingfree responded along with others.  We have sense became regulars supporting each other and others who have posted.

We were all pretty lucky to have met up the way we did, we all draw support and energy from each other.  What we have had to go through, not too many people in our everyday lives can relate to.  If they can, Ill is dammed if I knew who they were.

We were all pretty desperate and still struggle to walk the line.  All of out postings would make a lot more sense to others of the original ones were still posted up.  Looking at what we talk about now vs. what we talked about than really does not do the string of postings now justice.  We were all in pretty bad shape back then.

by Knight Errant, Sep 30, 2007 01:13PM

To: Greg

Damn, I wish we had that original thread! That was so awesome. It was so motivating to go back and see how far we've come.

Hope everyone is doing well today!

by Knight Errant, Sep 30, 2007 01:14PM

To: breaking

What day are you on?? Awesome!

by Greg Miller, Sep 30, 2007 01:34PM

To: king errant

Jeez its been like 47 days now.

I am thinking that someone is mistaking this board for the one for people with bi polar disorder or something.

by Knight Errant, Sep 30, 2007 03:14PM

ROFL

by Breakingfree, Sep 30, 2007 05:34PM

To: K/E Greg

Whew...I'm going to let the comments from Nohydro alone... PEACE dude. (may regret saying anything) *** I am on day 21! ( Wish I had the original post so I could make sure its not a day more!) I took my catapres patch off too. I can't believe we have come so far, all of us. This is beautiful! Nothing will keep me from coming here and reading how well you guys are doing. I don't care what is said or what happens, I will never ever forget our posts and going through what we have, and to a point still are. You guys have a wonderful night, and hope you sleep very well!

by chi-town guy, Sep 30, 2007 06:01PM

Welcome here again and feel free to post as much as you want and if you feel one or more people are saying the wrong things to hurt you or someone you are talking to with, then email MedHelp and they will make those people and they post disapear if it is something bad they are saying. So please keep posting and i enjoy reading the success you are having in recovery with day 20 something.

by Breakingfree, Sep 30, 2007 07:08PM

To: chi-town guy

Thank you. The 3 of us: Knight, Greg and I got on at about the same time and started conversing about our withdrawals & such. They have helped me more than they will ever know by just being there every darn day! Thanks again for your post chi-guy. Its about coming on here and meeting people like them, and you, that make me come back. And trust me...if I can beat a vicodin addiction, I can deal with someone like that.

by dfr3, Sep 30, 2007 07:14PM

To: breakingfree

your sense of humor is well needed in this forum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD BLESS

KEEP ON POSTING
20 days wow now I am jealous!!!

LOL

JILL

IF my post upset you I am so sorry was just kidding

by Breakingfree, Sep 30, 2007 07:41PM

To: dfr3

Thank you so much! Ya gotta laugh sometimes...ya gotta! How many days for you?

by Knight Errant, Oct 01, 2007 05:53PM

To: dfr3

Welcome aboard Jill. Have you begun the process of getting off the pills? Tell us more about where you are at so we can be more helpful.

Best,

K/E

by Breakingfree, Oct 01, 2007 06:24PM

How are you donig? We are here for you no matter what, don't ever forget that....

by dfr3, Oct 01, 2007 07:12PM

To: BF and Knight

Hey Guys,

I was taking 24 10mg pills a day.
I went C/T for 12 days and had no relief it was horrible! so, I caved and now I am on a weening process.  I was taking 5 a day, for 4 days.
NOw today I am taking 4 pills for 4 days.  wish me luck!
Not going to think beyond that so far.

I did cancel ALL my pill concections however,
so if I do not do this its C/T again the hard way.

do you think w/d's will be that bad if I get down to 1/2 a  pill a day  for 4 days.

I will be drug free on the 25 of this month if I do not cheat.

LOL BIG HUGS TO YOU on being SOBER

it gives me hope!!!

were you guys taking alot?

by Breakingfree, Oct 01, 2007 07:41PM

To: dfr3

Good to see you back! I was taking 10-12 7.5s for 3 years. But then I was left with only 10 pills to do a taper with because I didn't stick to it... so the c/t story began. I tapered FAST, down to 2 a day and then I think one the last two days... that was it. The first week is the worst, but I was sick for about 2 weeks BUT everyday it gets BETTER. And then the days turn into weeks (I'm new to weeks-lol) and then just better from there. I really rarely think about it anymore during the day. I mean its in the back of my mind, but the w/ds get so minimal that you don't think about it nearly as much, which is where you want to be.. and WILL be. Thats the cool part! Its there for you. I DO think of the others on this forum I went through this with. That is something I will think about everyday... let me know if I can help you with anything else. ( will try) There are some great people here!!!

by Precious Pearl, Oct 02, 2007 01:30PM

Hey there, This is Precious. 19 hours for me with NO PILLS. YAHOO. Not feeling too bad YET but expect rough seas ahead. I hope I can post this...

by Precious Pearl, Oct 02, 2007 01:35PM

OK seems I was FINALLY able to post something. OK YOU are my "Idol" WOW So you are on like day 23 or somewhere near that? Good for you. I keep reading your posts and this is REALLY the only place I am getting support right now. My pharmacist is trying to help me. I told him my Dr. wants me on the 4=6 soma and 4-6 vicodin daily for various rheumatoidal problems BUT I am tired of the merry go round running out early every month and just the NONSENSE of it all. I decided last night at 8:00pm when I took my LAST 1/2 soma and 1/2 of vicodin THAT THAT would be it...I KNOW it's VERY early but so far I don't feel THAT bad. Took a HOT HOT LONG shower that helped. Keep me posted on how you are doing Breakingfree and PLEASE tell me what to expect tomorrow on Day 2...I am SCARED to DEATH of this detox from all that I have read but I REALLY want to do it and have NEVER really tried before in 7 years...Like I said my Pharmacist says it's mind over matter and that it WON'T kill me to C/T BOTH drugs at once so HERE WE GO....Precious PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. :)

by dfr3, Oct 02, 2007 02:40PM

To: precious pearl

good luck

i will pray extra for you tonite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My name is JILL
and I am trying to ween how many pills were you taking before you went C/T?

to breakingfree, I posted a separate post for you i think it is on page 2 or 3 by now.
check it out.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 02, 2007 03:30PM

To: dfr3

I was taking from 4-6 everyday of both. Alls I know is for years I would get 120 of both each month and be out of them after like 25 or 26 days so whatever that is. I have not worked in a year so don't feel the NEED for them to releave the pain like when I was working so hard. JUST want to be FREE of them and the Dr's nurse as I call each month and her voice telling me it's TOO early to get the RX. UGH They, the nurses, I feel love that control. So I am not even telling them I am trying to get off. I believe my pharmacist. He's a nice young man probably in mid 30's and he thinks I can do it myself. HEY it's worth a shot, right? I'D LOVE to have something right now as my entire body is aching and hurting quite a bit but I knew that would be the case. They say the first 3-5 days is the hardest. I barely got a shower today....It's been 20 1/2 hours so far. YAHOO. lol lol I know I am hanging. Hey I JUST felt something "crawling" on my leg and thought OH NO here come the creepy crawly stuff BUT it was a fly. :) THANK GOD FOR FLIES. Later

by Breakingfree, Oct 02, 2007 03:46PM

SO good to hear from you! OK. I am going to be straight with you but its better than not knowing, and if you know you will be prepared and be able to take it head on! . Day 2, 3 and 4 was the worst for me... the runs, swollen belly, nausea, blurred vision, sweats, cold flashes, leg cramps (more during the night), interrupted sleep. Basically, a bad case of the flu. But remember, having the 'real' flu usually lasts the same length, so when I did it, that is what I went by. Don't think I didn't sit there with my head in my hands... I did! Wondering if it would ever stop. But it does!!! And every single day after about day 4 or 5 was only better & better. Just think... *** 14 days out of the rest of your life? *** Thats nothing! The mere thought of doing it all over again kept me on track! No, it was not my first attempt either. It was my 'serious' 3rd try. I was on the same merry go round you speak of. Oh, the stories I could tell!!! But its a one way street... south! And you are an inspiration to me also Precious. Thank you for your thoughtful words! Even 2 months ago, I never thought I would see the day. But I have, and I am there, on that day. It is there for your taking! Its OK! It is doable!

I went through the 'OMG! I'm almost out again so soon! Aaaahhhh! Make them last! Whoops! Too soon to refill! Now I have to buy some! How much?! ugh! When will they call? ugh! Today, or do I have to make it until tomorrow?!! ugh! I will do better with the next bottle! Really! (wrong) If I only take 2 a day I can be on them FOREVER! (wrong) I will put the money 'right back in' the bank! (wrong) I can get them from the Dr. forever if I play my cards right because I am in pain! And on & on... we all know the truth in our hearts Pearl, but may not want to face it head on at first. We have a tendancy to live day to day with the pills. Listen, I am so happy without the pills. (at one point I never thought I could say that) It was a fight! Sure. But a fight that was worth my integrity, peace, and happiness among so much more. I cursed those pills all through my w/d. I yelled at them in my body, and said 'bring it on as*holes'! You know, I felt better. The more I cursed at them, the better I felt. Mind over matter. (your pharmacists words) That is where that comes into play. All I can say is ... you CAN DO IT Dam*it!!! Keep us posted!!! It is a small price to pay for freedom...

by Precious Pearl, Oct 02, 2007 03:58PM

THANKS I NEEDED that last post. So tell me did you work going thru all this and what age group are you in? You don't have to tell me if you don't want. :) I really feel this site is helping me to stay strong. Even my daughter called today and I told her I was trying to detox from my medicine and she just said "OH NO MOM, see ya in a few days!" I HOPE I can feel better by this Sat. to go out a little bit. You think I will be able to go out a bit on day 5...WHEN I made it that far? The Pharmacist told me I could pick up my Somas tomorrow just in case I needed them. I am not sure I will. He told me what to buy to help the sleep and I will try that tonight. I am not really very hungry. I know I need to make hubby something for dinner. Hot dogs sounds good and easy. :) OK thanks again for all the MORAL SUPPORT. GOD knows I need it now more than ever in my life. IF I can get this "monkey" (what everyone else is calling the pills) off my back I HOPE to feel HUMAN again and not like a darn zombie...OK thanks again and PLEASE keep telling me I can do it. :)

by Breakingfree, Oct 02, 2007 06:25PM

I am 45, and I live with only my children and myself. They are 5, 9 & 13. During the WORST w/ds I had to drive my 13 yr old to school by 7:30 am, and my then get my other 2 on the bus by 8:30 am. I work from home, but still had to do it. Looking back, I'm not sure exactly how I managed it...but you just DO! You just do... you will too. I am telling you... you CAN do this. This site and a some of the people I have met here, it was a Godsend to me. It really helped me ALOT to come here and read the daily posts!

by Knight Errant, Oct 02, 2007 06:31PM

To: precious pearl

Pearl I am so proud of you! I am glad you finally took that giant step forward and made the decision to go for it! Breakingfree has put it exactly the right perspective. Just think of it as a bad case of the flu. If you got the flu you'd feel uncomfortable, but mentally you'd handle it, and it wouldn't scare you. A life time of freedom awaits you!

Good luck. Everyone is here for you.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 03, 2007 06:25AM

Thanks Knight. By the way where did you get that name? Are you into the Renassaince stuff? My hubby is in it BIG TIME down here. He is head of his "COURT" or something. His name is "Sir Gar" Just curious on that. OK I had a good night's sleep but I have to say I DID have 1 soma. I am thinking I'll just do that at night for the first couple of weeks while coming totally off the vicodin. I know that is probably NOT a good idea but it sure helped me sleep. I DO appreciate all the support I get here. I felt pretty good when I woke this morning. Am spending a lot of time in the bathroom, though. BUT you guys warned me of that. Hey, you know what I did this morning instead of taking my NORMAL 2 vicodins and 2 somas with my coffee? I took my 2 calcium pills and my iron pill with my coffee and told myself it was the drugs. lol lol The MIND is a funny thing isn't it. We just have to use it to our advantage. I HOPE I can stay off the vicodin TOTALLY. Knight, what were you addicted to. I lost the main site somehow but I am still new to all this. NEVER tried to even stop this before in 7 years. I HOPE the first time is a charm. We'll see. Hi Breakingfree, how you doing girl? Thanks to you, too, for the "unflagging" support. :) Later Precious

by Precious Pearl, Oct 03, 2007 09:30AM

Hey girl how are you doing today? I keep re reading these post for courage and it does help. By the way if you don't mind me asking what type of work do you do from home? I am retired a year and was thinking of working from home part time but not sure what to get into. OK I am at 38 1/2 hours of no vicodin but who is counting. :) I KEEP thinking of you guys on here and how happy you are that you did this. I AM on day 2 and in the bathroom every 1/2 hour UGGH but I look at it as flushing out my body from that poison, right? ok Just wanted to say hi and I HOPE I can make it to where you and Knight Errant are at. Hope is FREE, right? lol later

by Knight Errant, Oct 03, 2007 05:29PM

To: precious pearl

Hey precious!  I do like the whole renaissance thing, but that is not why I chose my name.  I am not even quite sure what an actual knight errant was.  I guess I choose that because, let's just say I am a good person who's made some bad choices, like getting addicted to pain pills.  So think of it as a reputable man gone astray.  Although you don't know me, the people that do would never take me for a drug addict.  It took me 4 years to admit that to myself, to say it out loud, to hear the words.  That's when I knew I was quitting.  Not only was I ruining my health, and compromising my integrity, but I was also living a huge lie.

My drug of choice was vicodin.  I had a habit of about 180 - 200 pills/month.  I think I topped at about a dozen pills in a day, but averaged 6 - 8.  I used substitute opiates when I couldn't get the vics.

I made the decision to quit with conviction on August 26th.  I didn't think I could handle going cold turkey, so I cut down to 2 immediately, one in the afternoon, and one at night.  After a week of mild discomfort I started having terrible withdrawals.  I am no glutton for punishment, but I needed to go through that.  Nothing like that experience to ensure I'll never go back.  Plus the withdrawals shake your body and brain out of its malaise.

It took ahile for my body to stabilize, and then I did a slower taper of a half pill per week.  That worked for me.  Tomorrow night is my last half pill, and I will be free.

Your freedom from this addiction merry go round is worth every but of discomfort you might go through.  Its doable!  You can and will do this.  Some people go c/t, some taper.  I kinda did a combination of both.  It's just whatever it takes to get you there.

Always the best,

K/E

by Precious Pearl, Oct 03, 2007 05:51PM

Thanks for your post. Like I said I was on 4-6 of both vicodin and soma for seven years. So far, let's see, almost 47 hours with NO vicodin. I am taking 1 1/2 soma ...like 1/2 each hour from 5:00pm on to help with my sleep. Plus I don't think I can do BOTH at once but AM cutting way down on the soma, also. BUT I AM "RELEASING" vicodin in my life. A good friend of mine once told me (when my Mom was dying of cancer) that I just needed to change ONE word. That was that I was not going to "LOSE" my Mom I was "RELEASING" her to be with my Dad in heaven. He said "When you "LOSE" something you spend your LIFE trying to get it back .....BUT when you "RELEASE" something you are just letting it go. That's what I am telling myself I am doing with the Vicodin. I probably loved it like my Mom, right? :) Anyway, I could go on and on but this site has been a lifesaver for me SO FAR...I wonder how Breakingfree is doing today. I guess out and about. I HOPE to be there soon. I mean living a normal life going places without worrying about taking the drugs or IF I had enough on me. etc etc. You know. OK thanks again for all your support. Precious

by Knight Errant, Oct 03, 2007 06:07PM

To: Precious

That is a great philosophy. I like that alot. Just release it out of your life. I think it is a good idea to deal with one issue at a time, as well. I don't know anything about Soma, but if it is addictive and destructive to your life then you can work on getting off that after the vicodin.

A big part of going through withdrawal and getting clean is the mental aspect of it. When you know you are doing the right thing, when you feel it in your gut, you will get great strength from that. Breakingfree is a great role model for you. Oh, how I wish we had all those old posts. Did you get to read the one from her when she was going through the hardest withdrawals, and she challenged them? I remember her saying, "Is that all you got. Is that the best you can do?' Adopt that indomitable attitude, that nothing - no physical symptoms, no matter how uncomfortable - that conquer you, You are conquering it!

:)

by Precious Pearl, Oct 03, 2007 06:16PM

Thanks AGAIN for some GREAT advice. You and Breakingfree know I NEED it now. WHO would have ever thought I'd find it on the computer. lol I haven't told a lot of my friends because, like you, I AM a good woman. :) And I don't look like an addict. Although my Rheumatologist who has been prescribing these drugs to me for 7 years tells me I NEED THEM. I did not read anything about Breakingfree's early days. I came on just like a week ago. I think a 9/25/07 post. But it sounds like SHE IS WOMAN...I told her she was my "IDOL" on here, you my male one. :) OK thanks again and have a "painpill free" evening.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 03, 2007 06:16PM

Thanks AGAIN for some GREAT advice. You and Breakingfree know I NEED it now. WHO would have ever thought I'd find it on the computer. lol I haven't told a lot of my friends because, like you, I AM a good woman. :) And I don't look like an addict. Although my Rheumatologist who has been prescribing these drugs to me for 7 years tells me I NEED THEM. I did not read anything about Breakingfree's early days. I came on just like a week ago. I think a 9/25/07 post. But it sounds like SHE IS WOMAN...I told her she was my "IDOL" on here, you my male one. :) OK thanks again and have a "painpill free" evening.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 03, 2007 06:17PM

Sorry, I must have hit the post comment key twice. I think I have done that before. HEY, it's the W/D NOT me. lol Later Precious

by dfr3, Oct 03, 2007 06:33PM

flys are good! much better than that feeling.

YOU are in my prayers tonite!

lol
jill

by Precious Pearl, Oct 04, 2007 08:10PM

To: KE/Breakingfree

Hi anyone here? I am having trouble posting again. I will try this before I write too much.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 04, 2007 08:15PM

To: KE/Breakingfree

OK hi all . Just wanted to report in on day 3 and a HORRENDOUS headache all day. Is THIS normal? No Vicodin for 73 hours now...and yes I am counting. :) I did what Breakingfree said she did TALKED to the muscle pain and stomach ache and told them "IS that ALL YOU GOT?" lol I liked that. I hope to be able to use it again tomorrow . lol I guess everyone is out and about. I just came clean with one of my 3 best friends about what I was doing. She wants to have lunch this week and I kept making excuses but FINALLY I could tell she was getting upset and said JUST FORGET the lunch. LET me know when you are available. SHEESH I told her I was dealing with something this week...SOOOOO she calls me and I told her. Her Mom O.D.'d I THOUGHT on drugs so I thought she would judge me but she was very nice actually and seemed to understand. SO that was a load off. OK I guess I am done rambling on here. Just wanted to say hi and I HOPE I can make it as far as you guys have THEN I'll start seriously on the soma. Later Precious

by FLaddict, Oct 04, 2007 08:29PM

I think what everyone who has stopped by here and asked is Why are you all staying in one post?? Normally people come here and post there stories and experiences to share and they talk with the whole forum not just one thread. So i guess some people have found this strange that you all never talk to anyone but each other.. that why there was some strange comments made and people asking you to come join the Addiction forum.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 05, 2007 06:26AM

To: Fladdict

Sorry, I wasn't following "The Rules" of this site. lol lol BUT I am very new to all this AND new to detoxing C/T from vicodin. So what are you saying here? I need to post on different ones? These 2 people Knight Errant and Breakingfree REALLY helped me get started and I just felt comfortable going back and forth with them is all. I am sorry I will try and figure this thing out. Thanks for the "heads up" ...By the way in case you are concerned I am on day 4 of detoxing C/T and I have these two to thank for keeping me going. But then like you said that was all I knew. :) Have a nice day...Precious

by FLaddict, Oct 05, 2007 07:48AM

Day 4 is awesome.. Keep fighting today.. Its gets alot better I promise.. I am close to 4 months and I assure you it gets better.

I really was just giving you all a "heads up" about the comments that have been made. None of you have to do anything you don't want to.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 05, 2007 09:03AM

To: Fladdict

OK thanks for the explanation. I, actually, went thru and was reading some of your stuff on other posts and guess I see what you mean. WOW you are close to 4 months? How you feeling? What age group are you in may I ask? Did you do it at home by yourself? I am not even sure how addicted I was my Dr. had me on 4-6 vicodin and 4-6 soma everyday for SEVEN years. I eventually had to leave my job on an early retirement, like one year but it was for the best. NOW that I am home I am thinking I don't need these pills anymore. Here it is day 4 and my head is already thinking clearer. Yesterday I had a horrible headache all day but things are looking up today. Do you think I will have a long ways to go? After reading how knowledgable you are on the other posts I just thought you might have some insight on this. The vicodin he had me on was 5/5.00mg I think it says. You'd think I knew after 7 years huh? OK thanks and sorry if I sounded a little grumpy BUT I was. HEY only on day 4 today. :) BUT HANGIN IN for the long haul...Precious

by Precious Pearl, Oct 05, 2007 09:03AM

To: Fladdict

OK thanks for the explanation. I, actually, went thru and was reading some of your stuff on other posts and guess I see what you mean. WOW you are close to 4 months? How you feeling? What age group are you in may I ask? Did you do it at home by yourself? I am not even sure how addicted I was my Dr. had me on 4-6 vicodin and 4-6 soma everyday for SEVEN years. I eventually had to leave my job on an early retirement, like one year but it was for the best. NOW that I am home I am thinking I don't need these pills anymore. Here it is day 4 and my head is already thinking clearer. Yesterday I had a horrible headache all day but things are looking up today. Do you think I will have a long ways to go? After reading how knowledgable you are on the other posts I just thought you might have some insight on this. The vicodin he had me on was 5/5.00mg I think it says. You'd think I knew after 7 years huh? OK thanks and sorry if I sounded a little grumpy BUT I was. HEY only on day 4 today. :) BUT HANGIN IN for the long haul...Precious

by Precious Pearl, Oct 05, 2007 09:04AM

To: Fladdict

Sorry for the double post. I TOLD you I don't know what I am doing here. lol lol Precious. This is the THIRD TIME I have double posted. I am REALLY an educated woman. lol

by Breakingfree, Oct 05, 2007 10:16AM

To: ALL

Fladdict, I do read the other posts alot and let me tell you... I wish I could be more like you and write almost everyone who is going through a w/d! I have no excuse why I don't except I do have 3 smaller kids but I do come here and try to write every night to the people who have gone through it with me...the buddy system I guess you could say. But I want everyone out there to know there is LIFE after w/d! I want to tell every person here going through it that you will make it and that it will be fine, even as sick as you may feel and the syptoms (symptoms) GO AWAY! I went for a run today, yes, a run! I never thought while I was on the vicodin that I would ever WANT to run w/o having a few in my system. Well, your energy and the 'WILL' do do things comes BACK! I am facing things now that I never thought I could w/o first taking that pill. You WILL feel NORMAL again! I promise.

K/E I miss you and will email soon! I hope you are doing well!!! I still think of you guys everyday... everyday.

Precious, How are you doing? You've got the power girl! I can feel it in your posts! Oh yes, the 4th day... it will be ok. You are SO close! Stick it out! You are doing it and day 4!!! Awesome! SO CLOSE to being home free! You will be in my thoughts.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 05, 2007 10:52AM

So good to hear from you. Yes today I feel really good. Still not a lot of energy and the hubby just called and said he's on his way home at noon to "be ready" UGH I am thinking I hope I have energy for this. lol lol Hey, I'll find it somewhere. But I have to tell you that you and K/E have been my main support just in starting to do this. I know I still take the soma but I feel I need to do one at a time and have cut way back on that, too. But, am thinking a little more clearer today. I hope I feel a little more energetic tomorrow as my son and wife are coming down to take us to a college football game. OK I am getting off the subject. Just wanted to say THANKS again and good to hear from you. I, too, feel comfortable posting on this site. I am not good at keeping up with a lot, I guess. Hey, you do what you gotta do in this life. OK later Precious
PS. GREAT for doing the run. I was a runner when I was 40. I ran 3 miles a day until my knees blew out. so be careful on that...But I have a treadmill here in the house and am working towards getting back on that to just walk. OK bye again. :)

by Knight Errant, Oct 05, 2007 05:26PM

To: precious pearl

Hey, precious!  Has your headache calmed down at all?  That is all part of the process, unfortunately.  Everyone is different, but typically the worst withdrawals occur around the 3rd day, or right where you're at.  It probably won't get any worse than this.  You're going to make it!

What you are doing is an awesome thing, requiring great courage and determination.  Greg, Breakingfree, myself, and others are all waiting at the finish line for you with open arms.  And we'll be right there to give you a little nudge along the way.

You're going to be free....  :)

K/E

by Precious Pearl, Oct 05, 2007 05:35PM

"That's what I'm talkin bout!" :) You and Breakingfree are SO DARN supportive I can't believe it. Thanks for all the motivation and kind words. I DO feel better today. NO headache. I DO believe I'll do this now. I even told a couple of my best friends today. Just said I was trying to do it...BUT deep in my heart I AM GOING TO DO IT...:) Thanks for telling me the 3rd day was probably the worst. It WAS for me, so far. This is day 4 and I feel a lot better today. Hope it continues tomorrow. What state do you and Breakingfree live in? Am I "allowed" to ask that on this post? lol I am in So. Florida. OK have a great evening and THANKS AGAIN for your support..You don't know how many times I have read these posts on this one alone. It kept me going. Later Precious

by Knight Errant, Oct 05, 2007 07:09PM

To: precious

Gain strength and courage from each milestone. 3 days is a big one!! Congratulations!

Btw - I live in Ohio. :)

by FLaddict, Oct 05, 2007 08:20PM

To: Precious pearl

Yep almost 4 months for me.. i just turned 27. I had been a heroin addict when I was in high school and got clean at 19 through many rehabs and AA. I will have 8 years soon clean from heroin. I had about a two year run with pills after they were given to me after surgery. I started to have back pain and self medicated. I started with vicodin moved to percaset and threw in some oxy here and there.. after the scripts ran out whatever i could get. Right after I quit pills I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, osteo arthritis in my neck, and myofascial pain syndrome. I am glad i was diagnosed after I quit or I never would have stopped it would have been the excuse I was looking for to continue. So now I have learned and continue learning new ways to cope with pain and how to take care of myself. I tapered down from 10 a day to 3 and then my hubby and I decided for me to use Suboxone just to detox off the rest of the way, so I took that for 10 days and then stopped.

Day 4 is awesome.. day by day you will start feeling better and more like a human.. Headaches are normal.. alot of the action opiates have in our system occurs in the brain. While we are taking them normal production of our brain chemisty stops, this included our dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, ect.. as those things start to function headaches are bound to happen, they have been on vacation and are not happy about working again. I find ice packs on my forehead help when i have a doozy of a headache. You were not taking a obsene amount of pills, but that was quite some time so it will take a while for it to heal. If you haven't yet read up on PAWS which stand for Post Accute Withdrawal Syndrome its the stuff that lingers and occurs after the intial nasty stuff is over this can affect addicts for months or longer, if you read up on it you will be more prepared if it happens to you. I have been very lucky in that department so far. But when i feel crummy I usually atribute it to my fibro so who knows.
Good luck to you and your friends.. if you ever need to talk you know where to fine me..:)

by hopingtohelp, Oct 05, 2007 08:35PM

To: All

I just found out last night that my husband, an RN, was caught at work "diverting" medication. He's been taking the Oxycodon that his patients don't request for pain. He's been suspended. I can't believe that I didn't see this. He says its been going on, in low dose, for a year and a half? How stupid must I have been. It's just the last thing I'd have expected from him. I on the other hand abused lots of different drugs earlier in my life. We're both in our 40's with 2 very young children. He's a bookish homebody. A fantastic dad. I never thought that his naps and irritability (when he couldn't get meds, was about drugs! I feel like I've been hit with a shovel. All I want to do is help. He's trying to go cold turkey this weekend, and apparently has before when I thought that he had the flu. I'm trying to be supportive - I'm no hippocrite. I understand how this could happen. He said that it was so easily available and he was curious. Like climbing a mountain because it was there, and now he's addicted. Any advice for a wife and mother in shock?

by Precious Pearl, Oct 06, 2007 06:41AM

To: Fladdict

Hi there....I, too, was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2000. Actually, that's when all this NONSENSE (to me anyway) pill prescribing started from my Rheumatologist. I am now on DAY 5 of my detox from the Vicodin and slept 8 STRAIGHT hours last night. I can't believe it....Feeling better day by day as Breakingfree and K/E assurred me I would do. Thanks for your input on the headaches, too. Thank God they only lasted a day. :) My husband even said to me that "headache day"..."You mean you REALLY have a headache?" lol lol He's such a clown...33 years clown. That's how long we have been married and I think he's excited he is getting his "old wife" back. :) WOW four months for you. That's GREAT. I can't wait to get that far. I am thinking I read where you said you take muscle stuff for the Fibromyalgia? What type may I ask? THAT is my next thing to TOTALLY come off of. I have considerably cut down on it to like 1/4 of what I was taking but I am doing the Vicodin thing first...OK thanks again for you unput...It's appreciated Precious

by Precious Pearl, Oct 06, 2007 06:44AM

To: Breakingfree/KE

Hi Guys, How are you today? Breakingfree, how was your run? I would give anything to be able to do that again. My knees just won't let me, though...BUT I do remember the many years I did run 3 miles a day. It WAS "my high" and I guess that's why they have detoxing people run to get the "natural high" huh? That is SOOOOOOO cool....OK I am off to a College Football game today...SO glad I started all this Monday night as I'd be in BAD shape now if I had waited a couple more days....Have a GREAT day....I'll check in later...Precious

YAHOO I am going into the REAL world without the VICODIN...Wish me luck. lol

by shelby74, Oct 06, 2007 06:57AM

To: K/E Greg Pearl

Hi you guys,

I have followed your thread and I just want to say, that if one thread works for your recovery then go for it! I think you guys have a great support system going on here. I wish you guys all the best in your recoveries!

shel

by FLaddict, Oct 06, 2007 08:02AM

To: precious pearl

for the muscle stuff i take either zanaflex or flexiril depends how my work day is i do hair and make up.. its not easy.. i also just started elavil for sleep its supposed to also help with pain.. its a older anti depressant..
hope this helps.. share with me anything new stuff your rheum doc tells you.. i am new to Fibro and could use all the help i can get..

by Precious Pearl, Oct 06, 2007 09:29AM

To: hopingtohelp

Hi, sorry to hear about your problem. I can just imagine the temptation that presents itself at your husband's place of work. But, I am VERY new to this whole detoxing thing BUT I DO KNOW that he will probably have to DECIDE for himself that he is not going to take them anymore. Like someone else said if you just are detoxing because you can't get any right now it probably won't work. YOU HAVE TO WANT to do it. I know I had to work up to get to that point. Heck, I have over 100 vicodin sitting in my drawer as I type here. But for me I like knowing they are there and I AM CHOOSING not to take them if that makes sense. OK I know I am definately not the best one to tell you what to do or not to do but GOOD LUCK to you and your family...I know my 2 1/2 year old grand daughter seems to LOVE her Grandma more since I am not on this drug. Everynight, last couple nights, when she comes over she drags me to the playroom for "art class" Before it seems she didn't want much to do with me. I LIKE THAT CHANGE. :) OK have a good day Precious

by Breakingfree, Oct 06, 2007 03:24PM

To: Precious/shelby

How's that real world out there? SUCH a big step! AWESOME! That was something I was always afraid of before I was clean.."how am I going to do anything w/o a vicodin"?! Well, you can and you do. You will feel like you did before the vicodin! The longer your off pills you won't think about it like that anymore. Yea for you! I hope you had a great day!!! BTW, you know alot of the pain in my back is gone. Some still there once in a while, but now I am a believer of 'pill pain'. Not the case for everyone, but it was for me. I am thinking about all of you everyday...my best advice to this day? Hang in there because it really does get better!!! xoxoxo to all.

by hopingtohelp, Oct 06, 2007 09:23PM

Thank you for the insight about choice. We've talked a lot - between his bouts of dry heaving- in the last 24 hrs. I know that it's an availablity issue right now. He's like that every time he tries to quit smoking too. With this he's rationalizing that he'd never seek out drugs "on the street" and now, if he isn't fired, they'll assign him to a non narcotic position. I told him about this site, but I don't think that he's ready to talk yet. I feel like a bit of a proxy here. But thank you for the choice angle. That is key. I'll try to talk about that with him tomorrow. This is his 6th cold turkey. He's only gone 3 weeks without using in the last year and a half and it's always just until he gets a patient that doesn't ask for his meds...Right now it's all about embarrassment for him, and I promised not to talk to friends and family. This helps.

by Greg Miller, Oct 06, 2007 10:31PM

To: hopingtohelp

Ya know, I know how your hubby feels.  I have come close to being caught taking pain pills from other people.  I would have thought that coming close to being caught would be enough to make me stop but it never did.

When he’s ready, he will open up.  Oxy is some BRUTAL stuff to kick.  I know people who have had to kick it and let me tell you, get on your knees and thank God he got caught!  If it makes him quit consider it a God send.  I mean that in every sense of the term.  I have seen this stuff destroy lives and relationships.  If he was embarrassed enough to want to quit for having been caught, you don’t know how lucky you all are.  If he was in denial after getting caught, I would say you have a real problem on your hands.

In the big picture this event will strengthen him and your relationship for having gone through it together.  I have to say, I am pretty impressed that you can maintain your ability to be non judgmental and being supportive of his issue.  I very much admire you for being able to do that.  It is a testament to how strong yours and his relationship is that he is going to undertake the very difficult task of overcoming this horrible addiction and you are going to allow him to reconcile his acts.

My guess is that they will help him seek some support to keep his job if he chooses to do so, it’s a good thing.  He is not, by any means, alone in a situation like this, it happens all the time.  It’s a stressful job and people do succumb to that stress.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 07, 2007 08:14AM

To: Breakingfree/KE/and All

Hi, well on day 6 here and still NO VICODIN...YAHOOOO :) Slept until 8:00am today. NEVER in my life have I done that before. Although, did go to a college football game yesterday. It was SO neat to be out ALL day until like 10:30pm WITHOUT my little "pill". I didn't even have any on me so that felt good. I can relate to your, BF, statement on the "pill pain". I DO believe the vicodin was what was causing a lot of my pain. I think when it starts to wear off you are in pain from the withdrawels and you pop another and another. I find the pain not as bad as I thought it would be without them. And I am sleeping SO much better. GOD BLESS THIS SITE. :) I honestly don't think I could have done this and even come this far without all the support on here. Thanks A LOT....Feel like the "fog" is lifting from my head, too. Did you feel that around day 6? It's like each day a layer of sheet is taken off my brain or something...lol lol Sorry, maybe not a good way to describe it but feels good whatever the heck is happening. OK just wanted to check in and see how everyone was doing. Later Precious

by hopingtohelp, Oct 07, 2007 08:16AM

To: Greg Miller

Thank you for this. I don't have time to write a lot - he's up and trying to down some vitamins and Pepto. He's looking better today, but we have a long road and I know that. I am glad that he was caught, and he said that he is too. You're right about the denial. He was brutally honest right away, and I think that's a good sign. Thanks again.

by Breakingfree, Oct 07, 2007 05:13PM

To: Precious

Day 6! You are almost there. I feel the same about this site... it helped me beyond words. I can't even describe how much. The lifting of the 'fog' is just the beginning, I love the 'layer of sheet is taken off the brain'. So true. Yes, you are coming along just fine! You will also shake that vicodin control aspect of it too, and be able to do what you need to do and win the fight! Put your dukes up, gain your life back! We deserve that! Our bodies want that for us, and our minds as well! Keep us posted Precious! I think of you all everyday, every single day.... all of you, honestly.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 08, 2007 11:27AM

Hey, do you take anything else or have you when you C/T the vicodin? Just wondered. Maybe you told me and I forgot. lol Brain still has a few sheets over it. :) Feeling a little shaky today for some reason. Not sure why, and I keep sneezing??? Is this the vicodin withdrawal thingy? The sneezing, I mean. I just read a Soma post and man NOW I am thinking that might be harder for me to get off of than the vicodin BUT I AM DETERMINED...:) Hey, anything is possible if you PUT your mind to it, right? OK just wanted to touch base for the day. I am going out of town until Thurs. so may not be posting much unless my friend's computer is working. OK hope you and everyone else struggling with these pills is having a GREAT day....Thanks again ...Precious

by Greg Miller, Oct 08, 2007 08:17PM

To: Pearl

Hey Pearl:

I did the two day sneeze too.  The reason you are sneezing is likely your body’s response to re hydrating and you’re having the beginning of a little post nasal drip.  This is pretty common in addition to bouts of diha rehia.  Lots and lots of water is the answer!

Make sure you stand up erect when you start sneezing to avoid throwing out your back or getting muscle aches.  Don’t bend over or roll your shoulders (I learned this the hard way).  I actually pulled a tendon in my back when I was having a sneezing attack.

A little bit of new information for all of my fellow rehabbers.  I have been doing a little research and guess what.....

If you get off the vicodin and are still taking other drugs for depression, or anti inflammatory BE CAREFUL!

The anti inflammatory can do as much or more damage to your stomach as the Vicodin (which will absolutely trash your stomach, liver and kidneys).  If you have been taking Vicodin for an extended period of time, be VERY careful about switching to Motrin, or even Naproxen over the counter or prescription.

With regard to anti depressants or even muscle relaxers.....again, many of our stomach's are in an impaired state from abuse of Vicodin.  Anti depressants and muscle relaxers can actually weaken the LES (Lower esophageal Sphincter) which is the one way valve that keeps the stomach acid in your stomach and out of your esophagus.  When this happens, you can develop acid reflux which can present itself in the early stages as bouts of coughing, the feeling that something is in your throat, difficulty swallowing, hoarseness of the voice and eventually heartburn to various levels.

Be aware that if you are feeling any discomfort in your esophagus, don’t discount the possibility of reflux or ulcer.  Caught early, are easily treatable.  If left unchecked can develop into some nasty stuff!  Anxiety adds to this condition as well so be careful and be aware of your digestive health. If you do get some heartburn, go easy on the harsh antacids, many contain aluminum and are not good for the kidneys over extended periods of time.

We are all going to go through joint pain, anxiety and tension while getting off this stuff.  Be patient and give your body time to adjust.  The goal here folks is to eliminate ALLpain killing pharmaceuticals, not just the ones that make you high.

Pain free from Mother Nature folks, that’s what we want!  That’s what we deserve!

by Breakingfree, Oct 09, 2007 11:09PM

To: Greg

Good to hear from you! and I wanted to tell you how informative your post is. You are such an asset here because you go deeper into the long term affects of what drugs can do to our bodies and also reflect the internal affects from the drugs as well as the outward ones. Every input here is so needed for all of us.

Everyone: Have a strong evening and I will pray that you sleep if you pray that I will:) :) :)

by Greg Miller, Oct 10, 2007 05:36PM

To: Free

Its my pleasure, taking into account that everyone is different, I am horrified at how quick the doctors are to prescribe meds that actually do more damage than good.  After all, that’s how 98% of us got hooked on vicodin, from a legitimate injury and a doctor who became our drug dealers.

I have lost 100% of my confidence in modern medicine.  With DDD and acid reflux, all I hear from any on these MD's is that there is not a lot that doctors can do to help short of massive invasive surgery.  They don’t even consider alternative treatments and actually discourage chiropractic care.  My chiropractor saved my life!  Had it not been for him, I would be in too much pain to work and what do these MD's do, try to give me more drugs.  At least the chiropractor is being proactive and helping me without poisoning me!

I will share all of my experiences with you and hope you can benefit from it.  If not for anything else, for encouragement that the doctors ARE NOT the LAST WORD!  You are and so am I.  There are so many alternatives out there and so many people who want to sell you **** too and get rich on our misery.  Depression, fear, anxiety, all of these things cause us to do things we would otherwise NEVER do and buy things we would NEVER buy.  Let’s throw away the fear and anxiety and get on with living.  Even if it’s tough right now, many have quietly gone down the road we have and done just fine.  We are the lucky ones to have each other to support and lean on and share notes with.

* Weeks into my recovery and now I can’t get enough sleep now!  LOL@@  I guess that means I am finally back to my old self!

by Tom77843, Oct 10, 2007 05:49PM

To: all

I have been addicted to Oxy's for three years now, after a long taper I am now looking at day 3 tomorrow, I read this post and all here seem up and happy, so nice to see all of you such friends, what a great place to come for support and friendship.
Tom...

by Knight Errant, Oct 10, 2007 06:22PM

To: tom

Well aboard Tom. Congratulations on your brave decision to get your life back. How are things going withdrawal wise, on day 3?

by Knight Errant, Oct 10, 2007 06:25PM

To: greg

Hey, Greg! Nice to hear from you! OMG, you are so right about our doctors as drug dealers. Everyone I've come to know on here started with a legitimate prescription. My favorite line - "If you're having pain, you can't get addicted."

Uh....right. NOT!

PS - loving the apple cider vinegar.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 11, 2007 06:17AM

To: KE/Breakingfree and all

Hi Guys, I am on day 10 with NO vicodin and feeling better each day JUST like you guys said I would. I actually went to visit my best friend 60 miles to the north for 2 days WITHOUT ANY vicodins on me...THAT was a first BUT it sure felt good. My friend said she liked me BETTER on the pills. lol lol I guess I was "easier" to minipulate because I felt so good I didn't care WHAT we did. lol lol But yesterday I had my OWN mind and wanted to do a few things that I wanted to do. lol lol We laughed about it but it was a "real" natural high for me. Still have the sneezes but am getting better at that. Hey, do you think being on day 10 I am pretty much out of the woods with this "evil" drug? I really do appreciate all the support and advice I received on this site. Hope everyone has a great day. Precious

by Tom77843, Oct 11, 2007 08:28AM

Thanks Knight,
All is well here on day 3, you know, I woke up this morning and realized that I was very fortunate in my life, I have a great wife, two great kids, we can afford to live comfortably here in this great country and as a family we are generally happy. My health is fine short of this addition, and I know that I did something about this problem before it caused much trouble in my life. I didn't loose my wife over it or my kids, I didn't get busted and it hasn't caused much mental problems (though I did see the writing on the walls). I saw the disaster that was about to happen and took control. Yesterday I was feeling bad and depressed and that was stupid, I have a lot to thank and I am sure most of us do... I think the real trick here is to be positive, know what we are doing is by far the right thing to do, the only thing to do, and we have a lot to be thankful for.

I wish everybody here a great day.... Be strong...

Tom...

by Breakingfree, Oct 11, 2007 02:52PM

To: Precious

Day 11 now? Awesome! I would say you are very close to being out of the woods! Day 10 was big for me. Thats when I really started to feel a real change for the better. The sneezing may take a few more days, as the runny nose, etc. but the main flu-like syptoms (symptoms) should be nearly gone, if not gone! I know I can speak for everyone and say we are so happy for you! Doesn't it feel good? And it only gets better & better. I am so proud of you, this is wonderful news. Have a beautiful day and keep us posted!

by Precious Pearl, Oct 12, 2007 12:49PM

To: Breakingfree/KE/ALL

Hi, WELL, made it to day 12 I guess it is, am sort of losing track now. YAHOOOOOOOO lol lol I am feeling better each day just like you said. I noticed the B12 sublinguel pills I take give me a little energy, so that is good. Hey, BF, did you notice any difference in your weight? I seem to be gaining a little this past week. First few days lost but maybe I am just getting the water back in my system, huh? Have to say it FEELS so GOOD NOT to depend on those darn pills and worry do I have enough with me etc etc You know. NOW, to evenutally come off the soma. Have cut those in like 1/2 per day so that's good, I guess. They do help me sleep. I take them later in the day. How are you kiddies? I give you credit going thru this single mom with 3 kids, young ones if my memory is right. YOU GO GIRL.....My hubby seems happier, too. Hmmmmmmmm I am wondering if it's because I stopped this vicodin thing....He called me "his little junkie" I DID NOT like that. But that was in the beginning when I wasn't even sure I'd make it thru or not. Now, I am thinking I will laugh when he says it. OK not really much more to report on this except I AM still sneezing but only a few times a day. Hope you ALL are having a GREAT day...The sun is starting to SHINE again in my life. Even my grandbaby notices. :) She's 2 1/2....Before she wouldn't come around me much on the vicoding but now as soon as they come over she grabs my hand and says "Come MiMi (that's me) :) let's do art.....:) I LOVE IT...LIFE IS GOOD and getting better every day. Thanks a BUNCH again. Precious

by Knight Errant, Oct 16, 2007 05:39PM

To: Precious

Hey, precious I haven't been around in a few days. How are you doing?? I am so proud of you! Let us know!

Best,

K/E

by Breakingfree, Oct 16, 2007 08:03PM

To: Precious

You and K/E are neck & neck! lol I see you are strarting to see the world in a new and better light! There IS normalcy after the pills. How are you feeling? Please let us know and I think of you guys everyday. I can't wait to hear your progress! Have a wonderful sleep!

by Precious Pearl, Oct 18, 2007 11:40AM

To: KE/BF

I just got back from 2 days away visiting my best friend and my son/wife. SO nice to get away an NOT worry about the vicodin. I really sleep SO much better without that. Not sure if it's the soma at night or what but I love it. I am doing good, so far. Let's see it's like day17 for me I guess. YAHOOO Not much else to report right now. I'll write more later. Just wanted to drop in. Precious

by Knight Errant, Oct 22, 2007 05:43PM

Just checking in to see how everyone is doing. Hope everyone is well. We sure have come a long way haven't we?

Best to everyone.

K/E

by Precious Pearl, Oct 23, 2007 04:40AM

I am doing good on the vicodin detox. Today is like day 22, I think, am losing track. :) But still take the somas and want to get off of those, too. One day at a time, right, as they say. How long has it been for you off the vicodin again? Still have no memory. I wish I could get my 23 year old daughter AND mother of 2 1/2 year old daughter to stop smoking the pot. Do you have any suggestions on that one? :) I think she self medicates herself as she acts so "together" when smoking the pot. Without it she's A MESS. OK any positive words there will be appreciated. Thanks Precious

by allaboutmary, Oct 23, 2007 06:21AM

To: everyone

I am on day 5. I've been reading all the post. It is so great to have people that are going thru the exact same thing. It helps sooo much. Remebering how I got started after a neck injury 4 yrs ago. I question the doctor about addiction, he put his arm around me and said its better for you to be addicted than in pain. Once law suit was over and he got his money he said he couldnt see me anymore because of no insurance. Thats when i started buying on the streets. I couldnt believe I what I was doing. Dealing with people that sell crack and other ****. Could have ruined my life gone to jail, lost my business my house . Those pills were running my life. Always thinking do I have enough to finish this job, or to attend a get together. I just came back from walking my dogs and being outside, I justed wanted to scream I AM FREE. MY head seems to have cleared way ahead of my body. lol My body still feels weak, lack of energy. I am pretending that I had surgery and it will take time build up some energy. The flip-flopping at night is the worst part left. If I didnt have all of you saying how it will get better I never would have made it. I have company coming this weekend and it scares me. Don't know if i will be able to keep up. I think I am going to be honest with them and hope they understand that there might be times I just need to lay down. My montra for all this is that detox is number one and everything else can wait. Thank you all for everything.

by Precious Pearl, Oct 23, 2007 01:57PM

To: allaboutmary

WOW day 5...you are on the homestretch now girl....I found the first 3-4 days the hardest. But my Dr. had me on Buspar 3 times a day....Soma 3-4 times a day and the Vicodin 3-4 times a day so I still had a little help with the other 2 drugs but HOPE to be off of at least the Soma by Christmas. This is something you have to PSYCHE yourself up for. I did a month or so of research on this site and it, too, gave me the power to even TRY to stop the vicodin after a 7 year addiction "for pain" per my Dr. :) I haven't told him yet I am not taking it. Long story but he need not know yet. I can't wait til the day when he says "you are on your own getting off of them" IF indeed he will say that. Then I'll just say...OH OK. :) The FREEDOM from the vicodin alone is so wonderful. You just keep on going. You are doing great. How many were you taking a day may I ask? I tell you if it weren't for Knight Errant and Breakingfree (2 people on this site) I am not sure I would have made it. This is a good place to be. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK...Precious

by Breakingfree, Oct 31, 2007 04:09PM

To: Precious

HEY!!! How are you? I am happy to finally be back. Let me know how you are doing!!! I can't wait to hear the good news! What day are you on now? I am thinking of you....

by Precious Pearl, Nov 01, 2007 11:07AM

I am ok except hubby got laid off of work. I slipped up and took some vicodin. I COULD KICK MYSELF for it and I know it was NO excuse after all that I went thru, Guess I should have been in more contact with this site. OK so guess I have to start all over again BUT I will do it.....Hope you are doing better than I am. :) This IS a battle isn't it? OK I'll write more later when I have something more positive to report. :) Precious

by Greg Miller, Nov 03, 2007 08:10AM

To: Pearl

Precious Pearl:

PLEASE  PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

Dont feel like your starting all over again.  You have come such a long way and every journey has a few detours!

Having a loved one lose a job is a very trunatic expereance and its especially bad to have to watch a loved one go through it.  We all fall down in life Pearl, but the strongest of us dont stay down, we get up and keep forging ahaid!  Take if from someone who has fallen down plenty of times.

The only thing you lose if you fall down is a day of being clean, not your dignity, not your self respect!  If you chose to buckle and give in, than you lose those things, but if you fall down, get your *** back up on the horse and keep riding!

This is your biggest test and you need to see it thourgh.  have lost my job 4 times in the last 4 years due to lay offs and the bad econemy and it really plays games with my head.  It makes me feel worthles and makes me feel physically sick.  You never get used to it.  My family got me though it with their love and support.

Give your hubby some of that love and support by respect him enough to focus your energy on his needs, not the need to get high to escape the stress.  I mean that in the most loving way, not to be judgmental.   If your man is anything like me, hes feeling a little hurt and scared right now.  He needs you more than you need Vicodin right now.  Focus on that and consider your fall from recovery a painfull day where you could not take the pain any more.  The newness of this tramatic situation can be the begining of your new adventure or the begin of your spiral down back into the hell of addiction.  Dont commemorate the day your man lost his job by becoming an addict again Pearl.  Make it the day you looked death in the face looked away for a second, than looked back with a smile and laughed!

Life throws us all curve balls and sometimes we get hit with them.  When life throws you a curve ball, and it hits you, drop the bat and run out to the mound and kick the $HIT our of it!  Dont hit yourself with the bat!  Your husband got hit by the crurveball of a crapy econemy and lost his job, hes going to go find a new one.  You got hit by Vicodin again.  What are you going to do, sit down at the plate and eat dirt?

Your going to be fine Pearl, just pick up the bat and get back at the plate.  If life hits you again, run out there and fix it! Dont quit the game, you have come too far.  Its not starting all over, we all get do overs in life.  Dont kick yourself, dont be depressed, dont give it a second thought, just get back at the plate and get ready to hit the ball Pearl.  If anyone has an excuse, its you, but now you have used the excuse and its time to move on to help your Ol man.

FYI to King and Breaking free, I watch this site every day, I have not forgotton about you all.  I have had some battles of my own to grind out over here too.  I hope everyone is well!

by Precious Pearl, Nov 04, 2007 11:31AM

To: Greg

WOW THANKS I NEEDED THAT speech. YOU are right. My hubby NEEDS me now and I need to get back off these drugs. I KNEW I could depend on this site to help me. I will try tomorrow to STOP again C/T ...Lots going on this week...so I won't be able to lie in bed like the first time. So, Greg, it took you more than once to "kick" the habit? Hey, I am a sports fan, too, so can relate to the your "life throwing me curve balls" comments. I LOVE IT....You are SO right. He's been laid off before and the economy IS awful right now but we'll survive...Always have. Please keep your uplifting posts coming. I need all the help I can get right now. :) Thanks again ...Precious

by Greg Miller, Nov 05, 2007 05:36AM

To: Greg miller

Pearl:

Its a hundred times easier when you keep your mind busy! You wont go throught the huge withdrawl like before, so buck up and stay busy and youll be fine!

Ill be thinking about you so know that someone is throwing some "posative heat" at ya.

by Precious Pearl, Nov 05, 2007 12:47PM

To: Greg

Thanks again. It's hard for me to keep busy. I am retired a year now and a little bored but need to start some house projects that me and the hubby can do together. I have been taking the vicodin for a week now since he lost his job. Did get good news today, though, that he will be getting unemployement for 6 months so that is good to hear. TRYING to psyche up to stopping it AGAIN. You really don't think it will be as hard this time? Actually, the first time wasn't that hard BUT I just layed in bed for 3 days and told myself I had the flu. I had been on it for SEVEN years.... Maybe if I PAINT the house that will keep me out of trouble IF I have the energy. lol Thanks again for all your UPLIFTING advice. I KNOW I NEED to stop it now..How long have you been off of it did you say? and did you only take vicodin? My Dr. has me on Soma, too. Ugh double trouble, huh. But I
remember my 5th day off the vicodin and how good I slept. I think the pills make you wake every few hours. OK thanks for your thoughts. Precious

PS I LIKE when you keep telling me "you'll be fine" I NEED to hear that. :) Thanks

by Greg Miller, Nov 06, 2007 06:11AM

To: Pearl

!  Pearl:

As much as I hate to admit it, it took me several times to quit.  Each time was more difficult than the previous time.  It wasn’t as much the physical symptoms as much as it was the emotional scars that it continued to place on me.  Having to break the cycle so many times took its toll on me emotionally.  The physical symptoms were as bad as the length of time I was back on when I relapsed.  The body continues to adapt as your body makes changes to accommodate the drugs it’s ingesting.

Pearl, just think of the most resounding effects you undergo when you’re on vicodin.  The digestive system takes a huge hit as constipation and dehydration occurs.  Your liver and kidneys are really stressed as your body is allowing valuable hydration to pass without helping replenish your body.

Your joints are going to dry out and the older you are, the more likely you are going to suffer from the effects of osteo arthritis.  This is what happened to me.  The loss of natural lubrication in your joints will cause them to be compromised.

Pearl, this is an important time.  You need to really think hard here.  One week back is not going to kill you, but you really need to stop!  You have come way too far and your body is going to get confused going on and off of this stuff.

No matter what you do, never quit quitting

Its been about 3 months for me this time and I am feeling pertty good.  My body is normanizing despite the pain from joint issues.  When the pain is bad, I use Darvaset becaue it does not dope me up as much and the side effects are not as extreme.  I have gone for as long as 6 months and still went back but man do I regret it!  Each time was a painful adventure for me that I just cant undergo again.  What screwed up my sleeping was the constent urinating from dehydration not to mension the muscle twitching and dryness.

by Precious Pearl, Nov 07, 2007 12:03PM

To: Greg

THANK YOU THANK YOU for all your advice. I KNOW I need to STOP it. I have a "sleep apnea" test scheduled for this Sunday night where they monitor you all night in the hospital to see if you have sleep apnea. I am thinking it's just the drugs. But I always wanted to get this done and am trying to do stuff while I still have hubby's insurance. Scheduled a colonscopy the day before Thanksgiving, too. Well, it has to be done and I KNOW I need to get off these drugs. Hubby is depressed over losing his job and you are right I am masking the pain of all that's going on here. Thanks for telling me you had to try several times as I felt like a failure. I have told no one I relapsed yet except my hubby. He sounded kind of disappointed but I told him I would try again. I think I need to just stop BOTH the vicodin and soma at the same time or just take a coule somas at night. I NEED to psyche up AGAIN for this endeavor. I KNOW I need to stop this merry go round. Thanks for your support...I MEAN IT...Precious

by Greg Miller, Nov 07, 2007 06:15PM

To: Pearl

pearl:

You guys are going to be fine.  If you dont mind me asking, what did your husband do for a living?
what part of the country are you guys from?  Maybe I can help.  Maybe someone out here can help you guys out.

I do feel for you guys.  I got laid off several months ago and was scrambling to get all my medical stuff done before my insturance ran out.  I was really freaked out.  That was a terrible time to quit, know what I mean?

Well, I will light a candle for you guys and please keep us in the know.

by Precious Pearl, Nov 08, 2007 03:28PM

To: Greg

Hubby is in the union so he has to wait on the "list" and we live in South Florida. Do you know anyone who C/T off of soma AND vicodin at the same time? I REALLY want to do this once I psyche myself up for it. The first time I went off the vicodin (only time so far) I stayed on the soma a couple at night but slowly took more and more of those. But I didn't feel much different stopping both of them at the same time. I am having trouble finding people who have C/T off both of these drugs at the same time. Thanks again for your help and candle. Precious

by Precious Pearl, Nov 08, 2007 03:28PM

To: Greg

Hubby is in the union so he has to wait on the "list" and we live in South Florida. Do you know anyone who C/T off of soma AND vicodin at the same time? I REALLY want to do this once I psyche myself up for it. The first time I went off the vicodin (only time so far) I stayed on the soma a couple at night but slowly took more and more of those. But I didn't feel much different stopping both of them at the same time. I am having trouble finding people who have C/T off both of these drugs at the same time. Thanks again for your help and candle. Precious

by Breakingfree, Nov 09, 2007 07:42AM

To: Precious

Hey! I missed you! I just wanted to let you know I c/t'd twice before the final try, and I did it the 3rd time. It has to come from your gut as I told you before. There is always something thats going to 'come up' to try to push you back into taking the pills. If you really stop and give it some thought, it doesn't make anything better. You are the only one that knows if you are ready to take it on and stop for good. You'll know it, and go in it with both guns drawn! Never stop trying and hang in there Precious!

by Precious Pearl, Nov 09, 2007 01:54PM