Keep slipping up

[OCAddict]

OK...this is no longer fun or funny.  I make it a week, and then I have a doctors appointment, and instead of saying no, I ask for another 90 Roxicodone's and get them no problem.  It's my own fault I know.  I've literally slipped up 3 times in the last week, getting a couple of days under my belt and then screwing up again.  I have way too many channels for getting these drugs and it's only hurting me.  Unfortunately I'm a veteran at quitting and how the withdrawal goes.  The next three days of physical discomfort don't bother me as much as how f**king boring life is without these things.  Not really asking any question specifically, lol, just venting.  Actually, for anyone out there that has managed to turn the corner, does the boringness subside eventually?

[vicki595]

Hi--Yes, the mudane and the banal days stop when your brain chemicals kick in. You may not have ever been sober long enough to experience how good a day can be...and I mean that in a kind way.

I do know exactly what you're talking about. The pills just enhance every good feeling and mask any negative one.  You need to break the cycle, get into some recovery care, and work hard at staying clean. You can't get clean by willpower because you don't have any ( again...not being rude... )   The most important thing is this: You have to really,really want to quit for good!  You've made a great first step by posting here.

Life isn't boring without pills. It's not always wonderful; it's what we make it and what we DO with our lives that matters the most. If you keep your focus on pills, you will remain an active addict.  Pills are always the most important thing in our lives,right? Well,that thinking needs to change. Routines, friends, sometimes employment needs to change.

I can't even begin to go into what we do to our bodies with pills! Not pretty in the long run!!  Stick around here...there's so much support you won't believe it!  How long have you been taking roxicodone?

[Jaybay]

OCA, it sounds like the only life you know how to live is with drugs.  There IS life without them.  It's terrifying and wonderful at the same.  Any life change is scary and difficult because we can't imagine anything other than the way we live right now.  That's why you need some kind of psychological support for your recovery.  It doesn't matter if it's NA or AA or private therapy with an addictionologist.  You need people to help you while you go through the process of discovering how to live without drugs.  

We're all works in progress - addicted or not.  Life ain't easy, but if you can maintain your sobriety for even a few months AND actively work toward building a new life, it gets easier and more wonderful every day.  Coping with life's difficulties isn't easy for anyone, but you can learn to cope under your own steam.  You can also learn to enjoy everything life has to offer without drugs.  There's a whole lot out there for you if you have the ability to imagine it.  If you can get a picture in your mind of what you want your life to look like, you have a goal to work toward.

What makes sober life so boring for you?  Since being bored seems to be what turns you back to drugs, what needs to happen to keep you engaged with life so you don't continually relapse?

[LeaAnn807]

Yes....it does.  I had the same problem at first.  You may have to look for things to keep you busy for awhile.  Now...I find that I don't have enough time to get everything done on some days!  Are you getting any support/aftercare??  That will make a difference.  Being accountable to someone helps!

When looking for things to keep busy, think about healthy things.  Things that keep you away from doctors and people who enable you.  Try exercise.  Go to a movie.  Something to get you out of the house.  Take up a hobby.  ANYTHING but drugs!!!!!

Ok????? : )