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LARCETS AND WEED?
by GLOCK, May 28, 2001 12:00AM
Hi all i was wondering if you can help me .
I'm a 37 year old male i do realy well in life i have a good family and love life but i've been doing drugs for 24 years and like weed i realy don't like any other drugs any more .
I started doing larcets aroung a year ago on and off and i find lately if i don't have thim i feel like i'm turning inside out!
I use to smoke weed 5 to 10 time aday but if i smoke now i feel like i do when i'm not doing larcets.
I know i need help but i can't go to rehab i have a family that loves me and i love them i just want to feel better can any one tell me how long i have to not sleep,eat or feel good before it go's away?
Any info would be cool.
Any sites on LARCET addiction would be a great help.
I'm a 37 year old male i do realy well in life i have a good family and love life but i've been doing drugs for 24 years and like weed i realy don't like any other drugs any more .
I started doing larcets aroung a year ago on and off and i find lately if i don't have thim i feel like i'm turning inside out!
I use to smoke weed 5 to 10 time aday but if i smoke now i feel like i do when i'm not doing larcets.
I know i need help but i can't go to rehab i have a family that loves me and i love them i just want to feel better can any one tell me how long i have to not sleep,eat or feel good before it go's away?
Any info would be cool.
Any sites on LARCET addiction would be a great help.
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Thomas has excellent advice on cutting back/eliminating the Lorcets. I recently went through a prescription of Lorcets myself and was terrified I'd have withdrawals, but I had none at all! I was lucky, I guess, though I was using a small amount for a short time. You'll find some great advice & wisdom on this forum, and I wish you well.
Milo
I remember doing every dam drug there was growing up and never had a problem like i have now.
I've been stoned for 24 years and dam scared how i feel these days. I allways said i see nothing wrong with drug use as long as ya can hold your life in check.
Like i said i'm well off and when i try to qwite the **** i go 3 to 4 day's and i feel better and then i have a bad day and am all up tight i'm off on the chase with all the money i need.
The only drugs i do these days are lorcets and kind bud.
So why do i feel so bad??
I've done coke/pills{ups&downs}/acid/every dam thing and never felt like this i sure hope someone can help me i know it's time to qwite but it's scarie.
Any way if any one here want's to talk and help me my ICQ number is 110564321.
I'm sure glad there's a post like this.
peace!
But if you can go 4 to 5 days without being hit by true narcotic withdrawal from the lorcet, you'e in an excellent position to get on top of this problem. But you are going to have to do some rehab. At least outpatient rehab, because what's really driving you after those five days is the psychological need more than the physical. If you were really and truly addictd physically, you'd be after lorcets every single waking day or you'd be too sick to function.
personally, when I'm withdrawing from hydrocodone (lorcet), pot atually made me feel worse. It seemed to increase the muscle aches and anxiety. If you smoke while you're doing the locets, it's just a waste of some good painkilllers. If you smoke while you're withdrawing, you'll probably make the symptoms worse.
here's the recope cindi mentioned. I hope it's not too long for one post ...
Believe me, I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I admire your resolve to quit before you become someone like me. I've been addicted to prescription narcotics for more than thirty years. I lack the courage to even attempt to calculate what this lifelong obsession has cost me - not in dollars, but in all the ways it has limited my life experience. I call it a lifelong obsession because I cannot consider myself simply a pain patient who inevitably became addicted to the source of his pain relief. I love narcotics. Not like them. Love them. I have wasted a good deal of the time I have on this planet chasing drugs with the same ardor as a man pursuing the love of his life. Why? Thirty years later and I still haven't a clue.
The good news is that you've seen where this activity is leading you at an early stage. The last time I entered a rehab (at the court's "request"), I was taking seventy-five Vicodin per day, seven days per week.
Of course, that doesn't make what you're going through any more bearable. The nighttime body and especially thigh and ankle pains are textbook Vicodin withdrawal symptoms.
I know you're trying to get through this cold turkey, but, man, Vics are one of the most unpleasant "cold turkey experiences" going. Do you have, or can you get access to some benzodiazepines - drugs like Valium, Xanax, Librium, Klonopin? Without them, what can I say, it's going to be rough whatever you do. Perhaps you've got a friend or a relative with a few in the medicine cabinet - it doesn't sound like you've got a family doctor to turn to. Assuming you can get some Valium or one of the other benzos, plan for about 4 or 5 days on the stuff, starting the first couple days with enough to basically keep yourself "out of it," then gradually decreasing the benzos down to nothing.
Of course, there's the ever-popular runs! Get the brand-name Imodium (immodium) and take two at a time at each hint of the runs. This symptom will pass after the first few days and is easily taken care of by the Imodium (immodium).
Whether or not you can get any benzos, the only thing that really helps the leg cramps are hot baths or Jacuzzis - as many as you can stand. I've found that Enteric aspirin can help the aches and pains, as well, but not to any dramatic extent.
Sometimes, if you can just get yourself to sleep to begin with, you can make it through the night. When I didn't have an rx for it, I found a double dose of benydryl helped put me out - it's also called sleep-eze and is over the counter. But don't expect miracles. It will either work or it won't. Don't increase the dose if it doesn't.
Now for the interesting stuff:
Go to the health food store and buy a bottle of 100 of the 500mg L-Tyrosine capsules along with a bottle of B6 capsules. Your Norco use has caused your brain to become depleted of several neurotransmitters responsible for your ability to function and feel good. Until these substances are restored, you'll feel like **** no matter what you do. They will come back by themselves, but it will take a long time. Taking the L-Tyrosine and B6 provides your brain with the raw materials it needs to rapidly create and replenish these vital brain substances. This is how you take it:
Take 4000mg (four-thousand - eight 500mg caps) plus 200 mgs of B6 on an empty stomach, either at bedtime or in the morning. I never have an empty stomach at bedtime, so I have always taken this formula in the morning. Get up early if you can, so you can take the dose at least two hours before you have to leave for work. (Don't eat any breakfast for at least one hour after taking the dose.) I say two hours because that much L-Tyrosine can go through your system and cause some mild runs, and you certainly don't want to be in your car when that happens. It's caused the runs in me about 20% of the time I've used L-Tyrosine. Also, the L-Tyrosine, among other things, stimulates the production of norepinephrin (SP?) a neurotransmitter responsible for mental energy, alertness and ambition. So don't drink any coffee with this stuff!
The good news is that many recovering narcotic addicts feel the difference after the first dose. You can suddenly think straight, your mood turns a bit more optimistic, and, in general, you start recovering your faculties, your energy, your enthusiasm and ambition for living life.
At your state, I'd recommend taking the L-Tyrosine and B6 EVERY morning for the first four days, then every other morning until you don't feel you need it anymore.
Beyond that, I'd highly recommend some kind of exercise, even if you feel like hell while you're doing it. It helps get rid of all that tension that builds while you're pacing the room wondering how you got yourself in this mess. Even just a swift walk will help.
That's what I know about handling the physical side of this problem. The hardest part to deal with, however, is that thing in your head that made you go on the Norco to begin with. I cannot recommend strongly enough that you seek out and attend some AA or NA meetings. I always get a lot of guff from certain of my friends on the forum for this, but I recommend AA over NA. Why? I can only go by my own experience and tell you that I found a lot more sobriety in AA and a lot more people working stronger programs than in NA. Besides, almost everyone I know in AA is also a pill addict, anyway, so it is not as inappropriate as it sounds. I'm sure there are some fine NA meetings, I just didn't find any. Granted, I was incarcerated in a residential program and my choice of NA meetings were all in hardcore neighborhoods. Many of these meetings turned into sessions spent listening to homeless heroin addicts begging the other attendees for money, a place to stay, anything. That is definitely not what we go to these meetings for. I say, just seek out the meetings (and a sponsor) that for whatever reason helps give you strength to go one more day without the Norco and go with that.
Just to keep myself honest here, I have been free of Norco or any opiate for about four months, so I still have a lot of challenges ahead of me. My biggest problem is that I liked the benzos so much I became addicted to them and now, every time I try to get off of them (or run out), I have a seizure. Nice, huh? But don't worry, if you use the benzos just to get off the Norco, you won't be running this risk.
Just remember: You've done nothing of which to feel ashamed. You're a normal, decent human being who succumbed to a weakness we all, as members of the human race, share…
Thomas
Anyway, here's cheers to everyone...keep fighting the good fight! God bless, Beth
You're also dead-on about the brand-name Imodium (immodium). The generic brands seem to produce cramps and other "Fun" side effects, while the brand-name Imodium (immodium) just does its job. The advice to take two at a time is also wise & to be followed.
Irony: beore I ever started abusing Rx drugs, I missed a lot of work due to real, honest-to-goodness physical illness. I was taking Valium & Zoloft at the time but not abusing them. I was also taking Fioricet now & then, which I was abusing. But I wasn't staying home so I could stay high! I was too damn sick to go to work. So now I try like hell to make it to work no matter how bad I feel. I also avoid Fioricet on workdays.I'm still very resentful at the people who assumed I was absent due to drug use. I feel I've been condemned without appeal. Any thoughts on how to handle this? Milo
PS Thomas, I'm in the writing game, too.
xoxoxo
^j^ ^j^
thanks
Thanks for the note. For a period of apprx. six years in my late 30's, I suffered from almost daily headaches that were termed "migraine-like" as opposed to classic migraine headaches. That of course meant all the migraine-specific medications like Imitrex and Caffergot, etc. didn't work worth a tinker's damn. I started my writing career about the same time these headaches started (I still write, only without anything but the occasional "normal" headache, thank you very much).
I'm curious about a few things. Do you have "classic" migraines - a very specific physiological phenomena - which usually responds quite well to the new generation of non-narcotics like Imitrex? Or are you like I was - plagued day after day by blinding headaches which caused me to spend half my time full of Demerol (didn't mind that part) in a darkened room. I know that, because of my past with narcotics, I have a wopping tolerance for any form of opiate. But, still, I'm amazed that you can deal with the kind of headaches I remember having with a mere 4 or 5 Vicodins!. When I was using Vics to deal with my headaches, I was taking 5 to 10 Vicodin at once every 4 hours. Kids, don't try this at home. STILL, it wasn't enough to significantly relieve the head pain.
Don't get me wrong. I'm delighted you can cope with so few. What I'm wondering is this: if you continue to have migraines, and you don't find a substitute treatment, why would you be so concerned if not guilty about taking the Vicodin? Vicodin is for the relief of moderate to severe pain. It's not the source of all evil. Or the sign of moral failure. As long as you're taking just enough to provide the pain relief you need, why cut the dosage? You must remember that this forum features posters who are medical patients who become addicted to their source of pain relief, and "the real Mcoy" honest to god drug addict, such as myself, who has led a life typified by my very real love of drugs.
You are the former. I am the latter. I hope my writings aren't making you feel pressured to cut down when you are obviously in pain. By junkie standards, you're not using enough Vicodin to even register on the "abuse" meter. Best of luck.
Peace.
I truely wish them the best.I kinda feel i might be wasting your time here caz i only take around 40 a month but it's been a year plus and like i said i don't like the way i feel!
Any way it's night time now and i feel realy tight gess i won't sleep well but after reading all the helpful info here i feel better knowing it will end !
Then i can work on staying clean and enjoying the next 30 years {god willing} anyway i'll let ya all know how it's going and i wish ya all well that have this monkey on there backs we all need to learn to be happy with out drugs.
P.S. will sleeping pills help me sleep?
If you don't mind me asking, what illness were you dealing with the Valium and Zoloft - were you suffering from an anxiety disorder? How did anyone at work first get the idea you were on drugs? I'm betting it was the Fiorinol - if you take it too much or too often it slurs your speech. I've personally had that happen to me at work.
The only way I shook a drug reputation was to change jobs. Sorry I don't have a better idea - unless you can transfer to another department of the company. It seems once you've got that handle, you either live with it, outlast your co-workers, or change jobs. Good luck in your writing endeavors.
Thomas
What you've said all sounds fine, except for the adipex. You know, don't you, adipex is phenetermine, related to the amphetamines. I've "played with phentermine" and I know it can pack an amphetamine-like wallop. If possible, I'd discontinue any kind of stimulant while you're trying to get off Vicodin. You're after rest and tranquility, not the frenetic behavior that phentermine leads you too. I know it feels great. No doubt. But, in my case, taking a stimulant would make me crave even more Vicodin. It also is compromising the effect of the Valium and the Xanax. They are meant to provide you with muscle and emotional relaxation while you're going through you're detox - also sleep, if your lucky. As far as your joint pain, I'd take 1000mg of ENTERIC aspirin and all the hot baths or Jacuzzis I could get.
If you take anything from this post, STOP taking powerful stimulants like adipex while you're trying to detox. It just won't work. Besides, you'll have to detox from the adipex eventually and that won't be any picnic. If I need a little stimulant to get started at work or something, I take half a no-doze caffeine pill. You'd be surprised how effective they can be -AND THEY'RE NOT AMPHETAMINES! GET IT!
Good luck, Miguel. I hope I've helped.
Thomas
Hope you're having a great memorial Day.
Love back to you,
Thomas
I've suffered from physical problems (GI, respiratory, you name it) caused by anxiety ever since I was a child. I think I've tried just about every med in the book...OCD has also been a lifelong "companion". The SSRI's were the first thing to give me relief from my obsessions -- when I hit the right dose, they worked like magic! Unfortunately the depression still persists. The anxiety disorder is characterized by panic attacks, excessive worry, physical symptoms, etc. The Valium keeps it somewhat in check.
BTW, I admire your willpower/nerve in quitting the Darvon. That couldn't have been much fun. More later -- Milo
Thomasmy friend I hope you and Cin had a good weekend. You as always have come to rescue here and I just know what I could add to the above posts today other then the encouragemnt of IT CAN BE DONE! Thomas you also answered a question I had. I wondered how long you have been clean this time and I was concerned about your seizures. Congrats on the 4 months. I'm looking forward to mine. I hope all is well for you and I will keep you in my prayers as always. You too Cin...but that's a given isn't it Dorothy? LOL God bless you all, I'm gonna move on down the strings here.
Power & Magick 2 U all,
Peace & Light on us,
Wizard
To quit 'cold turkey' would be very difficult for me because i work full-time, and can't miss work, plus i have three small children to care for, and it would be extremely difficult to be laid out in bed fighting withdrawls. I can't even knock myself out with xanax to help get through it.
Currently, i snort oxys. I use about 50 mg of oxys per day (amplified by snorting). Would it be possible to use Lortabs instead, and take them .5 (1/2 at a time) throughout the day, and slowly cut back on those. Will i be able to function and avoid the withdrawls by slowly lessening the dose? Has anyone had any experience getting off of oxy's like this? Help!
Second part:
Question from my husband:
He would to know what will happen if oxycontin get taken off the market. He is a heavy oxycontin user (shoots), and i don't think using lighter opiates will help him much. Plus, he definately does NOT want the tylanol in the quantities he would need to use to match his current habit.
There is a lot talk about oxycontin and exactly how long they will be available. I wish he would be more concerned about how to quit rather than what will be the replacement, but he just isn't at that point (yet, i hope).
Any ideas?
Thank you for reading our questions, and good luck to all!
Jenny & Robert
God bless you, Thomas.</font size></font color></font>
iknow what audipex is it really helped for 3 days last time i was withdrawing .i am or was planning on using it for the first
3 days .i dont like these types of medications .just seem to help
me get going during the day but it will take your advice for it ,iwill stop them i am going on my 48 hours now my second night usually after 3 nights i am fine it gets better from there
i have been through this about 20 times but i keep going back
to the hydro but this time i made a promise to myself ,my family and god i will never touch this stuff again
thank you thomas by the way do you anything about nelxtrone dose really help keeping you away from the hydros
I will keep you in my prayers Jenny. You and your family. I hope somebody can give you more and better advice than I.
Power & Magick @ U,
May God bless U,
Wizard
Everything came back normal except for a slight higher level (we're talking 7 points over normal) with my serum lipase, which is my pancreatis. I had some pain for about 1-month, but now it's gone, and the dr does believe that it probably was pancreatis. He says i probably don't drink enough to have caused it, it was probably caused by a virus. They are thinking now that a virus actually can cause pancreatis, and that many diabetics have problems with insulin because of contracting a virus at some point in their lives; they're no longer sure it's so heritary.
Anyway, i felt i should come clean and tell him about my drug use. I spoke to a person in his office last year, when i wanted my husband to see him (he's a internal dr), about his jaundice. Needless to say he never went, but i remembered what one of his office personnel told me. This dr was very kind, and that he had helped her boyfriend get away from alcohol. So i decided to fess up and see if he could help in any way.
I ended up crying my eyes out and told him that i don't want to live like this, and what hurts most of all, is what i might possibly be doing to my children. They deserve to have the best, and i can't possibly be at 100% like this. My children LOVE me to death, i am so lucky and thankful for that. They love me with all their little hearts, as i love them with every ounce of love in mine, why can't i do this simple thing; get off of this ****!!!
I told the dr that whenever i took a trip (1,200 miles away) to visit all my family, no cravings, no nothing. I go in 11 days for the week, and i'm curious to see how well i do this time around. I don't want to use while with my family!!!
If i can pull this off, this will be a great start, and then let's see if i can continue my behavior after returning to my 'main reason why i use, because i can't stand to see what is happening, so i try to numb my pain.' What happens while i don't use, and my husband does, A big, gigantic gap grows between us, and we don't get along at all! That will happen again, and it will lead to us splitting up, i just know it. Now maybe, just maybe, if i get the help I need, maybe he will follow. Anything's possible. I have the name of a good 'Outpatient Counselor', from this dr. I'm going to give it a try, and maybe my husband will jump in too 'after i test the water' so says my dr.
My husband told me this morning, that he wished he could go to rehab. he is afraid that he will loose his job for sure if he goes again. They put up with it once, and he doubts very very much that they will ever go for it again.
Another thing, my doctor just got busted. I don't know any details, but he was a big-time pill-pusher. I'm taking these things all as signs that 'it is time'!!!
I was explaining to my husband, last night, that he is like a tornado. He spins around and around and creates a path of destruction destroying everything that is in his path. Also, taking anything weak enough to get caught up in it and destroying that too!
It's so sad, and i'm so sad. I need to find the willpower to do this!!!!!! HELP!!!!!! :(
Lv Jenny
I just read your post to me, and thank you!!!!
You are absoluately right about the children, and that is what tears my heart in two most of all!!!! They are gorgeous, wonderful children, i just can't tell you how lucky i am having them. They are a true gift from god, and should not be taken lightly; another reason i am so ashamed of myself.
My husband could NEVER taper down, NEVER! He would do best going back to an in-patient rehab again, maybe longer than 28-days this time. Actually, to tell you honestly, i think he would be better off without me all together. I feel i am a great part of his problems. I am a wonderful mother, and wife, but i am so darn co-dependent, i feel he doesn't have a chance with me. I've been to counseling, etc. etc., but i so tired of being responsible (or at least feeling this way), for other people. I don't want to prevent, or be the cause of anyone elses problems anymore!!!!
I want some time to myself to figure out who i really am. I've been together with my husband for 20-years now. I was 18 when we first started to go out. Before that, i had a boyfriend who was a creep, and ended up going to NYC every weekend to shoot up herion, and i was only 17 then, and I used to drive him!!!!!! What was i NUTS!!!!!! I wouldn't do drugs then, at ALL!! I'm sure he's dead (back when aids was around, but no one knew it). Before that, i had a best friend that i buddied with all of the time. We were close, so i never really knew what it would be like to really get to know Jenny. I would love to have the opportunity to get to know myself for once. I was EXTREMELY shy while young, and still somewhat. I was always very pretty, so that helped get me out of my shell somewhat.
I feel like my life is falling to pieces, my life seems so dark right now. I don't know how to get away from the drugs while with my husband, i don't know if it's possible.
The dr. I spoke about in my previous post honestly really feels, that it might come down to us having to split up to save myself and our children. I go into major anxiety attacks just thinking about it. I can't bear the thought of being alone!!!!
Aren't you sorry you posted to me? lol! I feel like a wacko!!!
Keep up the good work, you're doing a terrific job!!!!!
Thank you for listening to me!
Lv Jenny
You did answer my question.
When i go up north to visit family, i'm bringing only loratabs, and no oxys. I will use them 1/2 at a time, very limited. I can stand to feel somewhat uncomfortable, but lets see how uncomfortable i actually feel when i will be surrounded by my loved ones with no husband to worry about. I might be able to do this after all!!!!!!!
Thank you again!
Lv Jenny
Power & Magick 2 U,
Luv,
Wiz
I told a good friend of mine that I 'drink',she is a friend on a babyboard (we had babies at the same time -- roughly 15-months ago). It was a big step for me, but i feel like if i'm honest to people that i'm close to, maybe i can start to be honest with myself.
The more people I tell, the more of a reality it is becomes; not so many places to run and hide anymore, you know.
I went through this last time I stopped using, right before my husband went into rehab (not by his own will, but very very grateful to get help once in there). I started to tell people the truth, and it worked. Only after my husband got out of rehab, and relasped a couple months later,and caught out house on fire (accidentially), did i relaspe. I wasn't working any kind of program, just one in my head. No support from anywhere or anyone. It's hard to do it like that! But anyway, I started using again until i found out i was pregnant (which was right away), and stopped that day. I feel into a deep depression, but tried to concentrate on getting the house back together( we where out for 4-months), then concentrating on the arrival of our new baby. After the baby was born, i was happy, full of new mother endorphines. Everything was good for a little while. I was home for 6-weeks, then took the baby to work after that, and still have her here in fact. She will be starting daycare in august when my son starts kindergarden. Anyway, it took a little while to start using again, but i quickly went into full-swing. Actually, much more than i've ever done. I know this isn't me, and i deserve so much more in life. I want to beat this. If i'm so teary now,what will it be like once i quit?
Oh, I did slow way way way down, and didn't drink for a week one time back in february. I was a mess, but you know what, i looked GREAT after that week, and i was very emotional, crying all over the place, but i felt very lite and 'clean'. I had the flu and couldn't drink a drop of liquir. In fact, i didn't eat for 5-days. I now know i was actually suffering some of the effects of withdrawal, but was too sick to realize it. I had cut way way way down on oxys too. I want that 'clean' feeling back, not this 'stuffy clogged' feeling.
Lv Jenny
I'm just so darn 'sad' tonight. Not withdrawl sad, just plain sad!
It is so difficult to watch my husband who has changed so much during his time with addiction. It started roughly 4-years ago, just after we moved to this area. Unfortuately, there was far too much drugs available around here. He's always been an addict, it was just a matter of time before he came across an area where it would be easy enough for his full addict- personality to blossom. We've been together for 20 years, and we've both always drank. He has always smoked pot, but other than those two things, nothing else really. Oh Cocaine during a brief time, and speed before i met him, and pain pills whenever he could get his hands on them, but nothing too serious. Alcohol was always the major problem, and if i had only new how much worse it could get once he got his hands on pain pills; they are like nothing else!!!!! I've never seen something get such a strong hold on a person, and i've never seen something take someones life and self completely away like that. If we had only knew, right from the beginning, i would have convinced him to not even get into that, and told him all the dangers of it. Wow, opiates are pure evil!!!!! I'm sure those with real pain are thankful for them, but for those who get too caught up in them and let them destroy everything that you once cared for, they are pure evil!
All i can think about was what once was. What we had once, and who we used to be; i just can't stop crying tonight! I know i'm losing him at a rapid rate, but he isn't even a person that i know anymore. Once in a while i catch a glimpse of him down there somewhere, but it's always only brief. He is so far-gone and looks so very sick, it's like watching someone slowly die of cancer, only difference is, i feel so guilty because i know there are things i should be doing to try to help him. Things like tough-love (which almost killed me last time around 2-years ago), and getting help from relatives to get him in rehab and to help me and the children get by with the bills. I can't ask my family, so it would be his family, and i just don't want to go there. They are so weird. His mom is an alcoholic, sober 10-years, but a dry-drunk as far as i'm concerned. She seems to blame everything on me, nothing is ever his fault. His sister offered to help, but she scares the **** out of me. She is a District Attorney of a town in PA. His dad died at age 50, he was a big-time alcoholic. Robert is now 43, and i doubt very seriously that he will beat his dad's record. I just don't know how i will ever live with myself if he dies. This is just tearing me apart and destroying my life. I watch him every day, and he is usually in semiwithdrawal because it just takes so darn much to get him out of it these days. I just found out that my dr, who prescribes me oxy's - for on reason really, just got busted. This is an omen that 'it's time to stop'. Anyway, my husband seems so tired and out of it all of the time lately. He forgets everything I talk about with him. He seems confused a lot of the time. I just wonder how much longer he will be able to continue working and getting by like this. I am so scared and the most miserable i have ever been in my entire life. I can't seem to do anything to feel better other than using the pain meds. It's the only thing that seems to deaden this horrible pain somewhat. It's weird, i'm fine when i'm away from him, no cravings, no nothings. But this time around, i know i will feel stronger withdrawal effects. I'm doing more lately than i was during my last visit up north. I'll do my best. I feel like going up there, and never coming back. I know i could save myself if i did that, but i love my husband, or at least i think i do. i find it hard to love what is left of him lately though, and feel very guilty for that. He is an irritable, confused man, who snaps at the kids and me, and doesn't make sense half of the time. He's on a different planet lately, and i feel so all alone and scared.
This is so painful, i'd rather be shot a million times than to be left here to suffer and feel this pain.
My family hasn't a clue as to what is going on. They knew my husband had gone to rehab back 2+ years ago, and they had to beg me to tell them what was going on practically. I was forced to fess up, and it wasn't my choice, and it only made it worse with them knowing. So since after rehab, as far as they know, he has slight problems, but there's know leaning on them this time around. God help me if they EVER find out about me. In fact, when my husband and i get into an argument, a real bad bad one, that's what he always threatens, to tell my parents about me. Actually that hasn't happened in a while, but that hurt so so so deep.
Another thing, i have to be superwomen, he does NOTHING around the house, NOTHING. I work full-time and take the baby with me to my office job. I pick up the kids, i clean the house, laundry, shop, cook, take care of all the pets, take care of the yard (except for mowing, we have lawn service), take out the garbage, do the bills, you name it, i do it. Take care of the three children, i do everything for them. My husband basically lays on the couch or shoots up in the bathroom, that's the extent of his activity in this house. Really, honesty, i do not lie!!!! Plus, to boot, he's always calling out 'honey' can you get me this, can you make me that!!!! I kid you not!
I swear they are going to have to commit me soon. I do all of this and try my absoluate hardest to cover up and make sure my kids are least affected as possible with all this. I know i know, they are very aware and kids are so smart, they know it all! I try though, i really do! I don't know what else to do at this point. I see my husband slowly dieing in front of my eyes with his yellowed, cloudy eyes. The pain is horrific!!!!
Thank you for reading my book. I'm so sorry this got so long, but it really really helped me to get this out.
I type too darn fast for my own good! :)
Lv Jenny
You can do it, you've beat the other, you can do this.
Is there anyone who can hold the xanax for you and help taper you off. Just an idea, don't know if it's a good one, but thought i'd throw it out at you.
I used to have this incredible willpower, but i fear a demon stole it from me in my sleep one day! I just don't feel it anymore!
I don't want to get to the point where I start to loose things that i love before it gets through my thick skull that this is no way to live. I have my husband to look at every single day of my life as living proof of how drugs can destroy a perfectly 'good' person.
I don't know if this is a good idea, but is there anything 'natural' that you can take to relax you in place of the xanax? Just a thought, you must crave the relaxation feeling that the xanax gives you. Can you take the edge off with something like that from a health food store. I hope this doesn't sound off-the-wall! I'm only trying to help.
My prayers are with you that god will give you the strength that you will need to kick this beast!
Lv Jenny
Would something like Buspar help? I believe it to be non-addicting physically. I have a family member who went from daily Xanax to Buspar and Paxil with good results. I wish I had more than support and prayers to offer you Thomas. You have given up so much for us and now I feel like I've short changed you. My heart is out to you brother.
God Bless you and peace be with you this evening.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Good Wizard Luck to you,
Wiz
I know my husband was given this drug after rehab, and it's an anti-anxiety drug, and supposed to be much less addictive then your regular xanax and valium types.
It's not quite as smooth, but really does the trick?
Might be just about as bad, but thought i'd suggest it so you could research it for yourself.
Good luck! Prayers!
Lv Jenny
The chills have stoped and i've been staying away from the weed.
My wife worked for me to day .
I came clean with the wife and told her i had this problem and she is helping get tought this bull ****!
I sure hope if there's any young people out there playing with these pills i hope your reading these post caz it sure is a crazy thing something that can make you feel so good can make ya feel like hell {for 3 days so far} sure wish i never tryed this ****!!
Any way i figured i'd stop by and let ya all know how it's going.
I hope ya all feel good tonight and pray ya all find your way trought this crazyness!
<FONT COLOR="#4169E1">PEACE!</FONT>
That's wonderful you confided in your wife; i'm sure she will give you much support and encourgement through this!!
You CAN do it!!!!!
Keep up the good work, and we are all here for you to lend you as much support as you need!!!!!
Fight it will everything you've got, you are worth the fight!!!
Lv Jenny
Peace.
Thomas
Thomas
I appreciate your concern and friendship.
Thomas
I've been up for going on 4 days with no sleep and last night was the worst i hurt all over and i feel sick plus i'm mean as hell!
I can't even think right .Plus i've tryed the natural sleep aids and the reg. sleep aid and nothing works i'm about ready to go get valum { i have a freind}but i like the **** to {what to do?}.
Well i'll see what the doc has to say I WELL NEVER PLAY WITH THAT **** AGAIN.</FONT>
Let's see, you have brown hair (on the light side), with brown eyes or hazel possibly.
I think we've decribed yourself in the past, but i can't remember.
Well you are............... 100% wrong with me!!!! lol!
I have blue eyes, not suntan at all, although i live in Florida, go figure! These office flouresant lights just don't do it for me! lol! I have light olive skin (my Italian heritage), and i have light brown hair which is a good 3 inches below my shoulders. I'm 5'3" tall and thin-106 lbs. I used to be really pretty, but i feel these drugs and the stress i am under have robbed some of that from me, plus a part of my soul has died and you can see it in my eyes.
Take care and thank you for your post.
Lv Jenny
Peace to you brother,
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wiz
Power & Magick 2 U,
Love,
Wiz
:)
Lv Jenny
So he gave me some stuff to help me sleep it's called TRIAZOLAM {ANYONE HEAR OF IT?} he said it will knock me out and a freind is going to hook me with some valiums just in case this stuff don't work. i hate taking more drugs to fight this one but this **** is crazy.
I'm on day 4 and i feel alot better then i did this morning {tired} but if i can sleep i know i can beat this !!!!!
I feel for ya all and hope everyone here someday can enjoy life again with out drug! </FONT>
<FONT COLOR="#FF0000">PEACE!</FONT>
My email is ***@****, so give me a shout girlie!
Where does Brighty live in FL?
Hmmm, a mustache, I don't know, you are probably right.
My hub has a mustache though.
Italians are the best!!!! My parents just returned from a 16-day tour of Italy. My grandparents came from Sicily, so it was wonderful for my dad to see where his parents actually came from.
I'm from NJ originally, and am headed up there a week from Saturday for 1-week. Oh, that's right, i've been talking about that for days, hee hee!!!!! And i'm going go with every ounce of strength that i have, and i'm gonna beat this thing. It's not too far out of reach yet, i can get through this without too much pain, i think! I'm still relatively healthy, and i feel that i have the strength to beat this! With my families' love surrounding me, and a change in atmospere, basically out of my usual 'routine' of life, I can do this. My usage is very very routine, the amount of drugs i do, and when i do them. I'm really getting siked now!!!!!!!!
Lv Jenny
Here's something you should do before you start any rx drug. The web site www.rxlist.com is basically the Physicians Desk Reference on-line and will give you ALL the info about whatever your taking. Check out Fioricet. You'll find that the active ingredient is butalbutal, which is a generally non-sleep inducing barbiturate. It is an excellent anti-anxiety drug, but has the kind of side effects you'd expect from a barbiturate. Hence, the slurred speech and staggering gate. But keep that site in mind. It's the best info on rx drugs on the net.
Quitting Darvon was weird, because I quit it in the hospital recovering from my first benzo seizure. It's strange, but I haven't wanted another Darvon since. Now if I could just ditch the benzos!
Peace
Thomas
Glock -- Hang in there! You did the right thing going to the doc. The Halcion will indeed let you sleep, which you need. Just be ready, as Thomas has said, to taper & discontinue the Halcion or Valium so you don't start building a tolerance to those.
All best, Milo
Watch out with that Halcion. People have had memory and consciousness lapses on normal dosages with that stuff. AND DO NOT MIX IT WITH VALIUM. THEY'RE BOTH BENZOS. Halcion is for insomnia, true, but I found an amazing pill for insomnia by accident. I "inherited" a bottle of an rx drug called Sonata. You take it as you're hitting the pillow, it puts you to sleep quickly, and then it's out of your system in an hour(!) The idea is that it just GETS you to sleep, then exits the body. Absolutely zero hangover after using it, too. A great idea if you think about it. It beats taking Halcion and having that stuff in your system for half a day or more. Take Halcion or take Valium (I highly recommend the Valium), but don't take both!!!
Take care, man
Thomas
Thoms
what a tip! I found the benzo withdrawal web site and printed out the info for my doctor. What she has to say about the short vs long half lives of different benzos making some harder to get off than others makes perfect sense. I'm calling the doc in the morning. Thanks again!
Thomas
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & Light,
Wizard
I most say you people sure are the nice i've ever seen at a post.
You guy taught me and the wife alot and surely are helping me .
</FONT>
<B>PEACE!</B>
I am so happy you are feeling better and coming down the downside of this horrible nightmare.
My time is coming soon, i'm gonna try to beat this thing in 1.5 weeks while visiting family. I need the strength from them to beat this. They don't know about it though, so i'm alone!
We shall see!!!!
Sounds like you've made it home! :)
Lv Jenny
Well, the deal’s done. I printed out the Ashton web page on benzo tapering, faxed it to my doctor this morning and now there’s a Valium script waiting for me at the pharmacy. Not bad huh? That took less than a day. In fact, it took closer to half a day to complete. Of course, I have probably the only doctor on the planet that will just come to the phone because a patient wants to talk to him. If it had been anyone else, I’d be looking at some appointment a month from now.
Anyway … one thing, who was it that got the Halcion and some Valium from friends if he needed it? My doctor told me that if I were to take the Xanax and Valium simultaneously, there would be a very good chance the combination would stop my breathing! Maybe it was GLOCK. Whoever it was, don’t take the two on top of each other! That’s all we need on this forum is a drug fatality. Hope everything’s good with you, and thanks again. You may have saved me from another seizure – who knows?
Thomas
This place sure is a big help.
Today i took the kid and wife fishing i'm feeling great i think it may be over been 5 days of hell but i'm not withdrawing at all right now and after them first 4 day i figured i'd never feel good again you folks sure are a big help!!
i'm gooing to take some valium tonight just to make sure i sleep and then tomorro i'll drop by half then the day after none that is is i still feel good.
I been playing with lorocet for over a year and today iwas so happy to feel so good i had to shead a few tears of happyness!!
I haven't felt this good for along time.
I know i will never touch the **** again ya all hang in there!
well i ges s i'll toy stould </FONT>
peace and happpines to you and your family,
Thomas
Well had to stop by and tell ya all i feel like god has bless me with life again!
I took only two valium 10s last night and sleep like a baby and i don't hurt any more.
Things are great .
It's been a year since i've felt this good i'm so glad you people are here!
I sure hope ya all get better i'll pray everday for ya all. i'm going to stick around for a little wile just to let ya know how it's going but i never want painkillers again!!!!!
Maybe someday i'll try kicking the weed but i sure do love the bud!
The next thing is the cig's i hate them but got to have them i only smoke around 10 a day so i don't think that will be that hard .After going trought the **** with lorocets i think i can deal with the withdraws of cigarettes.
I think i might be one of them people you call a chiper.
</FONT>
<B>PEACE</B> <FONT COLOR="#8B0000">G£ÔÇK</FONT>
TO THOMAS/MILO/JENNYFLA/CINDI/AND EVERYONELSE. i'll hang out and maybe my qwick short week of hell will help someoone.
I know you guys real helped me the most besides my wife that is .But you let us know how to handle it and for that i thank you.
Hope everyone here get to where they want to be someday.
I know i only was a softcore user but the was th worst i ever felt now im on top of the world .
Thank you and peace and love you guys are the best. </FONT>
<FONT COLOR="#9932CC">PEACE</FONT>
<FONT COLOR="#8B0000"><B>G£ÔÇK!</B></FONT>
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wizard
Guess what Im a Hydrocodone addict to.Guess whats even worse? Here i sit ,cover around me(from cold chills),wide awake(from insomnia),weak as hell(from i guess not eating),going thru major withdrawl..*cough* for the second time* cough*..I guess you would call this day one for me and my wife. I have been thru this once almost 2 years ago my wife and I both checked into rehab and left the places after the first night,after we got in rehab we both decided to call my parents and ask them if we could just borrow their guest room.(I cant stand being told when to sleep, eat,talk,and all that other inpatient rehab stuff) and thank god they helped us out..I remember that week of total hell and here I sit starting it all over again..HOW STUPID!..I swore to myself that Id never put myself thru that again, as did my wife.I stayed clean 6 months then had some oral surgery done.I figured its been long enough,one prescription wont hurt me. I got 40 LorTabs and before I knew it bam me and my wife were back on the bottle.Only this time was worse..more pills...more often..Well anyway I was just sitting around dieing for a dose (i have 3 pills in my pocket,for when the withdrawl becomes unbearable) and decided to jump on the web to see if a site existed that may be able to chat with me or help me with any info on makeing these withdrawls a little more bearable.I have also gotten high most of my life on pot..two years ago when I quit the hydro the first time I gave up pot at the same time and never really picked it back up..mabye now and then ill smoke a joint but not everyday anymore..the pills have completly overridden any such desire for pot.My wife is asleep,I am so jealous of her.For some reason she can sleep while she is withdrawling.I cannot.Anyway getting to the point...I need some advice on what will help with these withdrawls..I have seen some suggestions like valium (I have friends looking) and over the counter sleeping pills and anti diareha stuff,I was wondering,I never drink,I hate it if I got drunk could it have the same effect as say the valium?--sleepwise and relaxationwise?The first time I did this I pretty much just laid in a bed and suffered,I prey that there is something that will ease the withdrawls this time.I didnt eat last time either--any tips on what may help keep my stomach in check enuff to keep something down?UGGGG I feel horrible I gotta get away from this computer chair and go lay in bed awhile i my whole damn body is cramping up ..Ill write back in a few hours....Ill be awake Im sure unless I break down and eat my just in case of emergency reserve.
Jamze
whitedove
Jamze
Vics are one of the most unpleasant "cold turkey detox experiences" going. Do you have, or can you get access to some benzodiazepines -
drugs like Valium, Xanax, Librium, Klonopin? Without them, what can I say, it's going to be rough
whatever you do. Perhaps you've got a friend or a relative with a few in the medicine cabinet - it
doesn't sound like you've got a family doctor to turn to. Assuming you can get some Valium or one
of the other benzos, plan for about 4 or 5 days on the stuff, starting the first couple days with
enough to basically keep yourself "out of it," then gradually decreasing the benzos down to nothing.
Of course, there's the ever-popular runs! Get the brand-name Imodium (immodium) and take two at a time at
each hint of the runs. This symptom will pass after the first few days and is easily taken care of by
the Imodium (immodium).
Whether or not you can get any benzos, the only thing that really helps the leg cramps are hot baths
or Jacuzzis - as many as you can stand. I've found that Enteric aspirin can help the aches and
pains, as well, but not to any dramatic extent.
Sometimes, if you can just get yourself to sleep to begin with, you can make it through the night.
When I didn't have an rx for it, I found a double dose of benydryl helped put me out - it's also called
sleep-eze and is over the counter. But don't expect miracles. It will either work or it won't. Don't
increase the dose if it doesn't.
Now for the interesting stuff:
Go to the health food store and buy a bottle of 100 of the 500mg L-Tyrosine capsules along with a
bottle of B6 capsules. Your Norco use has caused your brain to become depleted of several
neurotransmitters responsible for your ability to function and feel good. Until these substances are
restored, you'll feel like **** no matter what you do. They will come back by themselves, but it will
take a long time. Taking the L-Tyrosine and B6 provides your brain with the raw materials it needs to
rapidly create and replenish these vital brain substances. This is how you take it:
Take 4000mg (four-thousand - eight 500mg caps) plus 200 mgs of B6 on an empty stomach,
either at bedtime or in the morning. I never have an empty stomach at bedtime, so I have always
taken this formula in the morning. Get up early if you can, so you can take the dose at least two
hours before you have to leave for work. (Don't eat any breakfast for at least one hour after taking
the dose.) I say two hours because that much L-Tyrosine can go through your system and cause
some mild runs, and you certainly don't want to be in your car when that happens. It's caused the
runs in me about 20% of the time I've used L-Tyrosine. Also, the L-Tyrosine, among other things,
stimulates the production of norepinephrin (SP?) a neurotransmitter responsible for mental energy,
alertness and ambition. So don't drink any coffee with this stuff!
The good news is that many recovering narcotic addicts feel the difference after the first dose. You
can suddenly think straight, your mood turns a bit more optimistic, and, in general, you start
recovering your faculties, your energy, your enthusiasm and ambition for living life.
At your state, I'd recommend taking the L-Tyrosine and B6 EVERY morning for the first four days,
then every other morning until you don't feel you need it anymore.
Beyond that, I'd highly recommend some kind of exercise, even if you feel like hell while you're
doing it. It helps get rid of all that tension that builds while you're pacing the room wondering how
you got yourself in this mess. Even just a swift walk will help.
That's what I know about handling the physical side of this problem. The hardest part to deal with,
however, is that thing in your head that made you go on the Norco to begin with. I cannot
recommend strongly enough that you seek out and attend some AA or NA meetings. I always get a
lot of guff from certain of my friends on the forum for this, but I recommend AA over NA. Why? I
can only go by my own experience and tell you that I found a lot more sobriety in AA and a lot more
people working stronger programs than in NA. Besides, almost everyone I know in AA is also a pill
addict, anyway, so it is not as inappropriate as it sounds. I'm sure there are some fine NA meetings,
I just didn't find any. Granted, I was incarcerated in a residential program and my choice of NA
meetings were all in hardcore neighborhoods. Many of these meetings turned into sessions spent
listening to homeless heroin addicts begging the other attendees for money, a place to stay,
anything. That is definitely not what we go to these meetings for. I say, just seek out the meetings
(and a sponsor) that for whatever reason helps give you strength to go one more day without the
Norco and go with that.
Just to keep myself honest here, I have been free of Norco or any opiate for about four months, so
I still have a lot of challenges ahead of me. My biggest problem is that I liked the benzos so much I
became addicted to them and now, every time I try to get off of them (or run out), I have a seizure.
Nice, huh? But don't worry, if you use the benzos just to get off the Norco, you won't be running this
risk.
Just remember: You've done nothing of which to feel ashamed. You're a normal, decent human
being who succumbed to a weakness we all, as members of the human race, share…
Thomas
One of the worst parts of WD's is you feel so alone and helpless. Time passes sooo slowly and everything is just plain ugly! Your body and mind are going through a terrific ordeal right now, but you will get better. And you are not alone! Keep posting, we need you, J.B.
The reason I'm posting now is this: two things you need to do right now: first, get 6 or 8 bucks and get some brand-name Imodium (immodium) at the grocery or drug store. Right now, you're dehydrating yourself by letting the runs continue. That alone will make you feel terrible. You've got to get the runs stopped and get fluids into yourself NOW. The Imodium (immodium) really works, too. It's not some worthless OTC drug. Take two or three right away and then every time you feel your bowels waking up, take two more immediately. That first dose will probably stop the runs in 15 minutes. So, get out of bed and drag yourself down to the store. Seriously, ending the runs and restoring your body fluids will make you feel tons better. If you called a doctor right now, that would be his first concern, I promise.
The other thing is this: don't lie in bed and cramp. Get into a hot tub or even hot shower if that's all you've got available.
The Tyrosine will be about 12 bucks, maybe less, and the B6 probably under ten.
But they can wait. Right now, get that Imodium (immodium) or you're seriously f'd, my friend. Good luck.
Thomas
refresh my memory about your ex ... He's on the methadone for addiction and getting oxy from another doctor for headaches? Does the doctor prescribing the oxy know about the methadone? All I can say about him now based on what you say is that he's found a new love, namely oxycodone. If he's on a lot of it or getting it from multiple doctors he could be in a half-dreamworld all the time, one that takes him away from his responsibilities, like wife and family, etc. He may resent you now because you remind him of all the responsibilities and pressures this oxy dreamworld relieves him of. He's crawled back into the womb where it's nice a warm and peaceful, nobody demanding anything of him ... and then here you come reminding him of his life. I'm playing amateur psychologist now, but what I say is based on my own experience with prescription narcotics. There was a time I was getting Vics and demerol injections almost every day and I remember resenting anybody who intruded on this warm, dreamy fantasy life I was living most of the time. The flu symptoms could have to do with addiction, but it sounds like he's getting all the drugs he needs - unless he's on something stronger and isn't telling anyone. Secrecy is a hallmark of addiction, among other things. I have to go meet someone right now or I'd write more. I'll be back in about three hours if you want to talk some more.
Peace
Thomas
God Bless you,
Angelica
If the pattern holds, he'll lose his job, milk disability as far as he can, and when your doctor cuts him off and he has no medical insurance to pay for more doctors, he'll resort to illegal means to obtain the stuff and eventually get popped. I hope he turns it around without having to go through the whole scenario, but it's a familiar story you're telling. He's not going to be a suitable mate for anyone for a long time, if ever.
I hope you find someone who appreciates what he's getting. Everyone willing to give love certainly should receive it. E-mail me anytime you want to talk at:
***@****
Thomas
I been feeling good for 3 days now.
I can sleep and the sky is blue again.hehe!
We all need to help JAMZE out poor guy is hurting!8-(
I feel so sorry for this guy!!!!
I'll tell ya narcotic are realy bad i can't beleave it grabed ahold of me like it did .
Like i said before i've done mostly every thing when it comes to drugs and never had anything make me feel like i was when i came off lorocets the **** is evil!
I thank each and everyone that had some kind of input on the withdrawing thing with me you will never beleave how much help you folks realy where.
And as far as depression well i'm so happy to be better been 3 days of happyness i don't think i'll have depression and if i do so be it. NO MORE PAINKILLERS FOR ME!
Well i got to go i'll stop by here and there and see how you guys are doing.{i'll read the post everyday i'm sure}
</FONT>
<b><FONT COLOR="#8B0000">PEACE!</FONT></b>
<b><FONT COLOR="#483D8B">G£ÔÇK</FONT></b>
<FONT COLOR="#F0F8FF">***@****</FONT>
<b><FONT COLOR="#006400">Well had to stop by and let ya all know i'm better.
I been feeling good for 3 days now.
I can sleep and the sky is blue again.hehe!
We all need to help JAMZE out poor guy is hurting!8-(
I feel so sorry for this guy!!!!
I'll tell ya narcotic are realy bad i can't beleave it grabed ahold of me like it did .
Like i said before i've done mostly every thing when it comes to drugs and never had anything make me feel like i was when i came off lorocets the **** is evil!
I thank each and everyone that had some kind of input on the withdrawing thing with me you will never beleave how much help you folks realy where.
And as far as depression well i'm so happy to be better been 3 days of happyness i don't think i'll have depression and if i do so be it. NO MORE PAINKILLERS FOR ME!
Well i got to go i'll stop by here and there and see how you guys are doing.{i'll read the post everyday i'm sure}</FONT></b>
<FONT COLOR="#9400D3">PEACE!</FONT>
G£ÔÇK!
This is some friendly advice from someone who has been there and done that for many years. I can only pray that you will be one of the "lucky ones" who can get off and stay off of narcotics forever! As for me...it's a daily battle. When times get rough(and they will), I come here and read some posts in order to get refocused on what I'm all about and where I've come from. Best of luck to you! J.B.
Anyway, I just wanted to say congratulations and isn't the blue sky great?!
white dove
Pam
';
Fill me in.
whitedove
Pam
Nope...that feeling lasts but a short time and soon we are back at our previous ways again...our minds have been "imprinted" and will likely never be whole again. We relapse!
That's the reality of what we are by the time we find this forum. Sadly, our battle will never end. We are but human! J.B.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wizard
well I folded I decided to go to my family doc and c if he could gimme somthing to ease these Wds a bit....doc wants to wean me off em slow...I gotta admit he didnt have to twist my arm guys I was really in alota pain...so the docs starting me at 100 lorcets a week and gunna reduce me 10% each week..I hate these damn pills so much right now just lookin at the damn bottle is makeing me nausious....doc swears hes done this for people alot and says its best and easist way to get rid of em...I had to do somthing I gotta get back to work runnin outa sick days...why do I feel like such a failure?...Glock bro dude you should thank god every time you smile man that he gave u the strenth to suffer thru that like u did till u came all the way out the other side..Please dont make the same mistake I did dude...this is my 2nd time detoxin off this ****...and I to swore i was done..all it takes is one little script from a dentist and bam you could be back in the damn rat race...well at least i got a doc helpin me now and mabye with the help of the doctor the posts from u guys and the mercy of god I WILL BEAT THESE DAMN PILLS!!
jamze
Wizard has the right idea about addiction. When all else falls by the wayside, try getting in touch with your spiritual side. Keep seeking and be ever strong! J.B.
Thomas
Thomas
Been doing ALOT of thinking lately and talking with a few friends, and Ive come to realize that just because I didnt quit the hydrocodone cold turkey,all on my own,in full blown W/D doesnt mean Im a failure.I think that for me anyway I just cant do it like that.I honestlt think that the tapering idea that the Doc has me doing may be the beginning of a good stratagy to win this war.The first time I quit yes I did do it cold turkey in bed full blown W/D and I figured well Ill do the exact same thing this time and I wont be addicted anymore.Certain things that have been said on these post have made me realize that even though I wasent takeing the pills for those 6 months I was still addicted or I wouldent be back in this mess all over again.Last week when I tryed the cold turkey thing again it was like I panicked and said O.K ENOUGH!!!! Im stopping NOW!!!! and I guess I was blinded by the sheer pain and destruction that the pills are haveing on my life and figured that as soon as I got detoxed and wasent currently takeing pills anymore that everything would be perfect.Seeing the struggles that you guys are haveing just staying clean even after detox has made me realize that I cant just end it that fast..some people may be able to just detox and BAM never think about them again,not me, I get sick to my stomach saying this but I really do love the way those pills make me feel(I am actually haveing dreams about finding full bottles of hydrocodone,and about owning my own vault full of so many pills I could swim in them) and I think that even after Im detoxed Im still gonna love it, miss it, want it,and crave it. I dont have a problem so far with the tapering thing (but then again its only the 2nd day) but Ive never been one to eat my supply up real fast if I had 20 pills sure Id get alot higher eating 10 at once but I am always too scared to not have any for the next morning,so Id take 3 then get to the first stage of WD and take 3 more etc etc.And it seems as long as I have SOME pills I can make myself WD a little but soon as I run out I panick and freak out scared I wont be able to find more before i get sick. Since I did that cold turkey thing and went thru those 3 days of hell I lowered my tolerance some in the process and dont need 20 pills a day now to keep from getting sick I can get by on around 9 and my wife can get by on 3 or 4 so mabye the 100 a week supply that the Doc has got me starting out with can help wean both me and my wife.I got a question for you guys ?Can I in my position join AA meeting even though Im still using the pills?or do I gotta wait till Im clean?I dont think Im gonna be able to just get clean and then go back to my normal life I had before I ever started takeing the pills,I know I gotta get into some kinda program or meetings or something, its just so humiliating and embarrassing.they outa have ONLINE NA meetings hehe will post later if u guys dont mid hearing my thoughts
jamze
I remember my first meeting while I was still in the rehab center! I was so scared,nervous,sweaty and nauseated that I wanted to crawl under the table. It was devastating to introduce myself and admit that I was an alcohlic and drug addict. I burst into some God awful sobs and just collapsed. That's when my group put their arms around me and welcomed me home. The sheer power of that group's love changed my life forever! J.B.
You're are right, it sucks here, and you DON'T want to come back to this side!
I thought I could just about see the light last week, and i was reaching for it, but slipped, i don't see it anymore. I'm going to try this taper off method, but it's so so very hard, especially while living with a very unhappy addict! I'm anxious to see what the strength of my family will do for me next week. I'm gonna try!!! Then i can come back and try to help my husband help himself before he dies from this thing!!!!
Prayers for you, i know you can stay strong!
Lv Jenny
The funny thing is that I've never had a dream about alcohol, yet have had many dreams about car accidents. Go figure! J.B.
P.S. Is it ever going to stop raining here in the midwest and get warm and sunny again?
LOVE,
Angelica
That night, i had a weird dream. I dreamed i was driving hit a car on my way back to my best friend's house. Someone i grew up with, but we live 250 miles from eachother now, but talk a lot.
Anyway, i went to my friend's house, and the cops were chasing me. My friend ended up talking me to a rehab, and i was concerned about my husband because i had 'everything' with me. I also didn't want my parents to find out (geez i'm 38-years old, listen to me!) But anyway, it was a good rehab program, and i woke up before i started, but felt a sense of peace while there. I'm wondering if god was trying to tell me to go to detox?
BTW, my friend has a husband who is an addict and alcoholic, so she is all too familiar with addictions. And, her first husband was an alcoholic, and ended up killing himself a long time ago. She doesn't know i'm using again, and i don't want to tell her.
Just thought i'd share my dream.
Lv Jenny
jennyfla, I can't pretend to analyze dreams, but to me your dream strongly shows your strength, determination, and willingness to commit to recovery.It's like the detox/rehab is a safe haven for you. I think that's a great sign. And by all means, keep that Bible handy!
J.B. -- yeah, I can't even "let myself go," even in my dreams. But as for weather, I'm happy any day there's no snow...:)
Reading posts by all of you on various threads has been tremendously helpful to me.
Milo
Yup, i live in florida, but will be going to New Jersey for the week. My parents have a computer, and i'm sure i will make my way into checking up on all of you! lol!
I'm gonna give it a try this coming week, wish me luck!
Lv Jenny
I'm sitting here trying to figure myself out (not an easy chore). I'm trying to find out when it was that i 'crossed-over' to the other side. I use to be able to just play around with these suckers, but they took hold of me while my back was turned. My husband kept warning me to watch out!
The weird thing about it is the more i think about it and the more i stress and have anxiety about it, the worse it is.
I've kind of got my mind all twisted up and i no longer have a grip on this thing anymore, and that scares the living **** out of me!!!! I've always prided myself on thinking that, yeah, i have a grip on this thing, and now it's got a grip on me! I hope this all makes sense. I used to always keep my quantities way down so i could be in control. I never ever used while at work 9-5, and never ever while up north visiting family. All of the sudden, it became necessary to take a little something around 3ish or else i didn't think i could make it. This happened after i dislocated my finger back in dec. Then it moved up to 1, now it can hit as easy as 8 - 11 am. So far, this morning, i've taken 2000 mg of l-tyrosine, and i don't have any w/d yet. Don't know if my body is running alittle late today, or if it is the amino acid, but i do have to say that they make me feel weird. I don't like it at all, but if they are the reason that the w/d are staying away, then ok, i'm game for a short while. i wish i had thought about doing this earlier in the week (i could kick myself), that way i wouldn't be so stressed out going up north tomorrow morning in this condition. I still have so much to do today, and i hate to have to do everything in this spacey, out of this world kind of head trip.
Thanks for listening sweetie. Talk to you soon.
Lv Jenny
Well i screwed up a bit, i ended taking a little something. I was trying to pack and get my stuff done, but my legs felt like that weighed 100 lbs a piece. It was unbearable and i didn't have the creepy-crawlies, as i call them, but i broke down anyway. I think i can do this while i gone, in fact, i know i can. I'll let you know how i did once i return. I may get on while at my parents', but i don't want anyone to see what i'm up too, so it depends on the privacy-level.
I hope you are doing well. Free free to email me, i'll check that during the week.
Thanks hon!
Stay strong and healthy girl!
Lv Jenny
Working is hard and practically impossible. Going in for medical detox was not an option for those of you who read my previous post. I have been accepted for outpt. therapy, but I had it 3 years ago, still go to AA and NA meetings now, etc. so I don't know ........
Mood swings suck!! I have my husband that has been giving me my meds. It didn't work with just HIM giving them to me, so my psychiatrist keeps the bottle, puts 2 days worth in an envelope and my husband picks them up every other day. This way, the pressure is less on my husband and if he gives in to my "begging" for more, I run out and have to wait until the Dr. gives us more. Tapering is just plain hard, no matter how you go about it.
AND, yes go to meetings, don't stop!! It is "the desire to stop using, drinking, etc." That's absolutely all it is. AND, everyone here certainly has that desire. A sponsor is helpful too because your family can't be objective. I've learned that through many trials, errors and arguments.
I'm at the Lake of the Ozarks, trying to relax, but it hasn't made a difference really. The symptoms still exist. I just wish I could regulate the sleeping. Sleep is so important and I just can't get it right, especially now that I'm down this low in the quantity I'm taking.
Anyone have anymore suggestions or thoughts? AND, why is it so hard now when I've been tapering? That's my biggest question.
whitedove
Pam
***@****
You are always there and so helpful everytime I pull up this forum. THANK YOU!!
I have to work today for the first time in 2 weeks and I feel like, you know what!!! I pray to make it through the day.
A lot more has happened, but I don't have time to fill you in right now since I must shower and attempt to work.
Bottom line - I'm at 5 pills today along with 4 xanax and 4 klonopin but, I'm still having an extremely difficult time. I talked with a lady on a help line that said, she thought I was having more trouble with the xanax, given that my husband has control of it too and I had "upped" it when I started tapering on the Lortab. What do you think about that? Does it stand further research, in your opinion? I know you have nursing background and I'd like to draw on it. I liked your previous analogy about equating this to "having a baby" and the changes at various times.
Can't wait to hear back from you.
Fondly,
whitedove
Pam
***@**** (I misplaced your new email)
I saw that xanax was listed at the top of the forum page, but I'm getting ready for work (trying) so, I don't have time to read it now.
It is an interesting thought that I'm having more trouble now from the xanax than the Lortab. Don't you think?
whitedove
Pam
***@**** - feel free to write here
All best -- Milo