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1322872 tn?1275101862

Last day on opiates... Beginning detox Friday~ need encouragement & advise please!

Today was my last day on opiates... As of tomorrow, Friday- my detox begins... I am so scared... Need any positive works anyone may have please!
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Avatar universal
Hey Christina,

I am so very happy to hear you are doing ok.  Yes go hiking!!!  It will be great for you.

I think it's great you are sticking with this and pushing through the crappy stuff but your attitude is what is going to carry you.  You are in the right frame of mind.

As you have no doubt already surmised, this task is a very difficult one.  It takes a strong desire to change and truthfully, many fail.  You have shown us that you have all the tools; the desire, the strength and the right attitude.

We look forward to seeing you become one of the success stories around here.  One day at a time Christina, you CAN do this, you ARE doing this!!!!!

bob
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
Hiking will be a good thing...release those endorphin/boost em...maked u feel normal for a while...staying busy and staying healthy works..plus some sorta support /aftercare

congrats on ur 2nd day clean!
Helpful - 0
1322872 tn?1275101862
Yes I am taking all kinds of vitamins and minerals. I want to go hiking,,, I go everytime I visit Central Oregon with my husbands family and they will know that there is something up if I don't go. We have been planning this mini-vacation for over 2 months and I refuse to be a stick in the mud while everyone else has fun around ne. My husband is in the exact same boat as me and he is going to make the hike too. If I can't do it then I will turn back. It's not that I have anything to prove really it's that I want to start a normal life and for me it will take less excuses and more effort on my part:) I guess it will depend on if I wake up Tues. and can't get out of the bathroom or feel like I am going to vomit. Both of those could be very possible motives for me sticking around the house. I will surely let you know if I do go.. I will post pictures from the top of the mountain! Thanks for your care and advice, I truly appreciate you taking the time to write me:) Take care, Christina
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Avatar universal
Great job, girl!  You can do this.  Keep a positive attitude.  The worst is over for you now.  It will get better from day 3 on....

One thing though.....please don't push yourself with this Misery Trail thing.  It takes time to get energy back, and you don't have anything to prove....not even to yourself.  If it had been me, one week after I stopped pills, all I would have proved was that I could watch everyone else from being flat on my face!  Just think about it!  I'm not discouraging exercise here, but I don't want you to overdo it, ok?  Are you taking a vitamin?  B12?  Any supplements?  I can't remember if you said you were or not?

Good luck, honey!  You can do it!

Lea Ann
Helpful - 0
1322872 tn?1275101862
Thank you... I am for sure suffering and laughing that I have gotten so deep in my addiction that I have caused myself this pain.. I haven't done anything today... I feel like I am going crazy right now! I know this is mostly mental and I hope that after a hot shower I will feel better, if not at least I will be clean! I feel sweaty and I think this stuff is coming out of my pores... I feel so gross! I just have 3 more hours till my boys go to bed and then I can focus on myself- read a good book, journal, etc. I have had a really good appetite the last few days and I sure hope that it stays like this. I have worked really hard to gain weight you see and when I use I normally didn't eat because it suppressed my euphoria vs. having an empty stomach. I am now back up in the 120's and it is such a blessing! I am about 5'7" and I need to weigh more to make myself look better. I have a very high/fast metabolism and I will never be a big girl. I was 139 when I had my last child but that is the most I have ever weighed. It really looked great on my and my goal is to get to 130- a little back wards from most girls that are dieting all the time but it works for me. I got down to 105 at the peak of my addiction and I wasn't eating for days, just a snack here and there, mainly fruit...I am not out of the woods yet at all but hopefully this time next week I will be. I have a trip planned for Monday eve.- Wed. eve. We are going to Crooked River Oregon and will be hiking Smith Rock. misery trail. I can usually do this with my dose of opiates but this will be the first time I have done it clean. It is NOT an easy hike for sure but I have to do this to prove to myself that I can. I think that I need a mini-vacation to have something to look forward to also. My husband and one of our boys is coming also. We will be staying at my in-laws house and it is always nice to have my son entertained by his grandparents. They have a pony (coco) for him to ride and they live in a resort area that has a golf course and huge salt water pool. It may be time for me to get a tan! LOL. Laying in the hot sun by the pool sounds wonderful but I have to stay sober till Monday at least to make it to the retreat... I have 3 days under my belt and I know I can turn that into 6 before I know it... I am staying as positive as possible but being realistic about the hard times that I have ahead of me... I hope all of my MH friends are well! If you're having a hard time just be honest and get some support on here. I don't know if I could have done this without all of the help I have received on here! Thanks a million, you guys are slowly saving peoples lives:) Bless you all, Christina
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HI Christina ....your doing great so far...I know it dont feel that way right now but its all part of getting well...your body is going to fight back when you take the narcotics away but you can fight harder...your attitude is still good and thats important just remember this is just temporary and in a few days you will feel better....day 3 is always tuff but your body is getting rid of all the poison in it all the sweating and trips to the bathroom will be worth it
right now that hot tub sounds like a good idea take a long hot soak...it helps with a lot of the symptoms...im happy both you and your husband are doing this together it will make it a lot ezer if no one is using in the house...CUDOS to the both of you for choosing to do this...just hang in there your 1/2 way thew it already ,,.just know that in the end it is so so worth it not to be chained to a pill bottle any more...remember your wining this thing ...remember also that your hubby is detoxing dont take anything to personal that he might say patents and tempers where a bit thin when doing this so just brush it off...when it seams unbearable pray...god will help you thew this...keep posting for support we all want to see you succeed good luck and God bless...Gnarly  
Helpful - 0
1322872 tn?1275101862
Well I wish I could say I was doing well today- but I'm not... My want to just crawl back into bed until this is over is really strong. I didn't end up being able to finish my cleaning job yesterday. I was there till almost 6 off and on and I finally looked around and knew that I couldn't get everything done that my client had asked of me. I did get most of the house done but I made a list and told her I would be back Monday or Tues. when I didn't have the kids with me. They were quite entertained and I knew it was just me with the problem but neverless I had to get back to my comfort zone which is my own house with my own surroundings. I do have a jacuzzi tub in my master bathroom that sounds quite soothing at the moment but my little guy always wants to get in with me and it takes away some of the appeal. I think I will plan on taking a bath after my husband gets home. He seems really upset lately and I wonder if he is doubting his choice to quit with me? I have to worry more about myself and my recovery than him and his moods. It is hard having 2 people in the house trying to detox. I know he feels like since he gets up and works all day that I should be able to get alot of stuff done around the house but I have a mental block that will only allow me to do so much... I know I need to work around that but it is hard to do since my physical symptoms are peaking. I am shaky, irriatable and my skin is crawling still. I want to jump out of my own body and transform into someone who has never done this to their body. I know that is unrealistic but I can dream! I am praying for strength... Usually when I start to feel like this I begin calling everyone I know to scope out potential meds. I can't do that this time and it makes me so angry at myself for letting this get so out of control... I am going to stand firm on my decision and wait this one out, If it means that I have to be on my computer once an hour then so be it! I feel like the devil has a grip on me and I am going through a holy war inside. I know good prevails evil as long as I can stick to the plan. Today is day 3.I would be lying if I said I didn't want something to lesson my pain but I expected that this wouldn't be easy and alas, it is not... I hope all of you stick to the plan too and we can alll be better people for it:) Hang in there, I am right there beside you! Bless all of you for taking control back over your lives! One day at a time:) Christina
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Good for you for working so hard at this!  I'm amazed when I read about people going through withdrawals that actually function!  You must be really proud of yourself right now.
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Avatar universal
Way to go Christina!!!

I'm so happy to hear you (both) are sticking this out.  You are wise to keep moving, yes get out of the house!!!  Having some fun with the kids will be a great reminder of one of the reasons you are doing this.

You have made a wise and courageous decision to change your circumstances and it's going to get easier soon.  

Hang in there and keep us posted on how you guys are doing.  One minute, hour, day at a time and soon you will feel better.  Short term pain for long term gain.  There is only one way to get the membership card for this club Christina and we are all thrilled you have decided to join!!!!!

Pulling for you guys!!!!

bob
Helpful - 0
1322872 tn?1275101862
Thanks guys, much appreciated and needed right now. My job went ok... Not great though. I didn't end up getting everything accomplished that I set out to do but it was a great distraction. I pushed my body and occupied my mind so I guess I accomplished my goal for today. Through the weekend I have both boys and I will have to figure out some plans to get us out of the house. I'm contimplating doing some garage saling in the am. I think that is something I always enjoy and my kids do too so as of now it is a plan:) I will write more later, trying to eat and have some family time for now. Have a great night to all of you! Thanks again for all supporting each other. I feel like this is my new, more understanding family! My husband is doing great too, thank goodness! My prayers are paying off! I feel blessed for each day we make it through without abusing pills... Good night, Christina
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HI glad to see you made it thew the first night....it ausum your getting out and working this will help take your mind off how you feel....hang in there you can do this it just going to take some perseverance....remember this is all  about attitude and yours rocks right now
keep it up...I will look for your post later on to see how your doing good luck and God bless ....Gnarly
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Sounds like your doing well, although things tend to really hit you at about the 3rd day or so. But yes keep moving!! Push through that pain, and the more you do the more tired you may become and that will make it easier to sleep at night. Me being a stay at home mom, limited many things I could do. I use to feel the same way about opiates, I could clean, cook, care for my kids do it all, but that QUICKLY faded, and as time went on I became tired, fatigued, and lethargic. I have more energy now without them. Although I tend to get pretty tired early, I am more motivated on getting things done.

You have the right frame of mind, to take this on. And I will be rooting for you all the way!! Let us all know how things went today at your job!
Helpful - 0
1322872 tn?1275101862
Oh and BTW, I have had my rx for xanax for over 4 month and out of the 20 I got I still have 6 left. I don't like downers- not my thing. I have been taking xanax off and on for 2+ years. I go months without taking any. I know it is a hard core drug but I do not abuse it at all. I just take it when my anxiety is so bad that I can't sleep at night.
Helpful - 0
1322872 tn?1275101862
Well it's 8:30 am and I made it through the first night! I never meant to say that I was worthless, only that I feel worthless as a mom and wife right now because I am having to be selfish and put myself ahead of my family. I know that sounds bad but I think it rings true for this week anyway. Soon I will find that I can do things without opiates to mask my true feelings. I have been numb for so long and I thought I needed the pills to make it through my daily life. How wrong I was! Besides money the meds have taken away my will to even live a day without them. I never thought I would become so dependant on anything and I am tired of the guilt that hits me when I realize that this has gone on for so long... I will not leave my kids and I am going to make sure they are taken care of. If times get too hard I will call my friend to come help out. I stock piled on food and the kids surely know how to get in the fridge if they are hungry. BTW my boys are 8 1/2 and 4 next month. There are pictures of them on my profile if anyone wants to see my reasons for trying to get clean! I have had a housekeeping business for years and I usually have some girls that go do the jobs for me but I got a text from a great client last night that she broke her finger and wanted to know if I could come help her clean this morning. I have my almost 4 year old that is going to come along and play with her two little girls. I really wanted to say no but I said ok. I have to be there at 9:15. I think that no matter how I feel I need to do this to prove to myself that I can keep my business and clean without the extra "kick" I usually get from opiates. I am going to go and do the best job I can do:) I have to keep moving like someone said above " there is nothing worse than just laying in bed all day" and that I have to keep moving... I am trying, we'll see how it goes! Thanks for all the support you guys, I don't think I would be able to do this without all of you! I will write later to update you on how I am doing. I hope all of u are having a great morning, ttys. Much love, Christina
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Also, everyone is right about the hot baths. I never took anything like Xanax, but even though you say you dont abuse them, be VERY careful, that drug can really "attach" it's self to you. How long have you taken the Xanax, you will most likely have to wean off of it as well.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You know that I have been following you for awhile, and I will continue to. I have been where you are sooo many times, and it's hard. But like you said it's like having the flu for a few days. you not gonna die going through withdrawals. If you were honestly sick with the flu, you would still have to care for the kids. So leaving them isn't an option for you, financially. And so what! Refusing to leave them, shows your strength. You know you can do this, and you will have moments when you feel like you can't, but those moments pass, just like this horrible sickness will as well. You and I sound alot alike, I have two boys that I had to care for many times coming off opiates. Also, tended to use the opiates to "cure" my depression. I have found that my depression isn't nearly as severe as I thought or have felt while using. In fact, I was more depressed while abusing. I am here, anytime you need to talk. Even if it's one on one, send me a message if need be:)

BTW how are you feeling so far. Care to share?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Christina - (Nice name -- My name too!)

Listen You can SOO do this.. Your original post was very positive. You know what to expect and you know that its just a matter of DAYS to get yourself out of this physically.  You can so do this.  
Get yourself comfortable at home and yeah, you wont feel great but you can get through it.

When I detoxed I dont think my son or fiancee had a proper meal for a week.. But hey,  nothing wrong with cereal for dinner, PB&J, microwave dinners (GASP!! LOL) or order a pizza.. whatever you have to do to get by..

Its only a week - less than a week.  Think of how relieved you will feel this time next week and your through the worst of it.  

You have made mistakes and thats OK.  Everyone has. The best thing you can do for youself and your family is get clean and work a recovery program to stay clean.

You are NOT worthless.  You are fighting for your life and you can be victorious.  You are a good mom and a good wife and you are an addict.  That doesnt make you worthless.. It makes you sick and it means you must be strong and do everything that is necessary to get better.

Telling the kids you have the flu is a good cover.. Ive used it many times.. lol. So just get yourself as comfortabel as possible.. post on here.. Watch a movie.  Play online games.  Whatever you can do to make the time pass.. Hot showers or baths..as long as possible.. Do not understimate how comfortable a hot shower or bath can make you.. I spent hours each day just sitting at the bottom of the tub.. Its weird.. Its awful.  Its totally miserable BUT you can do it and make it through..and like Henry says.. laughter always helps.. try to stay postive.. so much of this is mental.  

Good luck to you and hubby!  God bless.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Congrats Christina!!!!

I hope you are coping well.  You have great advice above.  The only thing I have to add is DISTRACTION.  Do things that will keep your mind off the pills.  Lying in bed is the WORST thing you can do.

Get outside, build a puzzle, watch a movie, go shopping.....whatever it takes.  As Henry says.....try and laugh.  This needn't be done with a broken spirit.  Our minds have a way of "freaking us out" more than is warranted.  Don't stay alone, be social no MATTER how you may otherwise feel.  Being around others and distracting oneself will help you to steal minutes from the clock and get you closer to feeling better.

You are NOT worthless.  Would you consider yourself so if you became ill from something else???  Did you make a choice to become addicted to opiates???  Of course you did not.  The important thing is that you are doing something about it.

Keep writing here and others will continue to help you.  We all understand what you are dealing with.  

Hang in there Christina, you are on the right path and we are all pulling for you!!!!!

Goodluck and Godspeed,

bob

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Avatar universal
You mentioned you were useless as a mom at the moment.  Well, those are the key words, "at the moment."  You are ill (as we all get at times.)  You're giving yourself and your kids the best gift you ever could.

For now, treat your symptoms, rest if you can.  (I'm not an addict but I have seen a close friend go through withdrawals, and it's awful.  And I started withdrawals myself when my prescription for chronic pain didn't come in the mail on time.  It was agony.)

You don't say how old your kids are, but using the TV as a babysitter is not the worst thing to do right now.  Take out is a great choice if you're not well enough to even make a simple meal.  (And cereal is fine for them to have for dinner.  It's fortified with vitamins.  Simple things like scrambled eggs, pancakes, etc., are great too, and maybe you'll even be able to keep it down.)

Try to get some good nutrition, tons of fluids and rest.  If you can get yourself to take a little walk, as hard as it is, it will help a bit.

Take your friend up on her offer to help with your kids.  If they're like my kids, they could be arguing with each other, and there's nothing worse than kids fighting when you don't feel good.  If your friend can get them out to burn some energy, that will help.  (Maybe she can take them for a sleepover when you're at your worst?)

I just wanted to wish you (and your husband) the best in getting off this stuff.  It definitely ruins lives.  Keep strong, if you have faith, pray (I find the rosary to be particularly comforting in times of stress ... something about the repetitiveness I think.)

You can do this!  And when it's over, you, your husband, and your beautiful children will all have the start of a brand new life.
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Avatar universal
HI  Christina  well I just missed you by 5 min and I hope you get some sleep...im writing this now to encourage you if it 3 am and you cant sleep to just hang in there....I noticed you mentioned God in your post....I got to tell you prayer is a powerful tool in doing this
I had to go thew 8 1/2mo of tapering off methadone and was in and out of withdrawals along the way...I dont think I could have done it without the help of God and prayer
he's all you got when it 3 am and your in the middle of withdrawals ...Jesus has much grace to give and he hears those that call out his name ...pray that he takes the wost of the withdrawals away....his word says he will never give us more then we can bear...if the twitching or the restless legs are going ...take a hot soak it goes a long way to help ..try to just take it one day at a time you may even find yourself doing it 1 hr at a time but stick it out...it will be so so worth it when it said and done...I will check on you in the morning good luck and God bless.....Gnarly
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I know you dont feel good right now but this wont last....You arent worthless at all.  You are very important to your family and to us.  Try and get some sleep tonight.  Let us know how you are feeling tomorrow.         sara
Helpful - 0
1322872 tn?1275101862
Thank you so very much for your nice words and advise! I am having a hard time right now just focusing on my recovery. I feel really sick and I am worthless as a mom or wife at the moment... I have to be ok with just looking out for myself for right now though. My kids will be fine, they just think that I am "sick" which I am. They are too young to know the truth, thankfully. I pray that they never get involved in this or any other drugs. My husband still gets up and goes to work everyday no matter how bad he is feeling. When he gets home he is great with the boys and helps me make dinner and pick up the house if necessary. I am very fortunate to have his support and for him to want me and him to make changes and lead a clean life. I will write again but for now I am going to attempt sleep, My skin is crawling and I keep getting jolts and involuntary movements. I never want to have to go through this ever again! Bless you all, Christina
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I feel so bad for you. I wish there was something I could do. It's a damn shame that when people are sick and have no insurance they can't get decent *** health care. You make sure that hubby helps you. I know he is going to be in a hell of a shape also. You know how some men are they cry about the tiniest  bit of pain. ( I tell mine all the time when he complains of some minor ache, If you had to have a baby you would be dead) Keep an eye on him make sure he is not sneaking any. You know us addicts will do anything. Don't try to be wonder woman either. Make sure he gets his share of responsibility with the kids. If the house gets messy leave it. Don't worry about little things like that just focus on you.

Don't you wish you could just take something and just sleep though the whole withdrawal? I know I did when I was going through it.

I'm really praying for you. I'm pray God to spare you and your husband of the withdrawals.


God Bless You and Good Luck
Helpful - 0
1159737 tn?1286517257
Good luck hon.
Helpful - 0
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