Legit pain but addicted to hydrocodone

[NdzHlp]

Hello everyone!  I found this forum on accident and I can't believe how strong and supportive this community is!

I'm a 29 year old male and have been in a couple very serious car accidents.  I have moved up through pain pill types due to the innefectiveness that they have over the years.  I have a bulging disc in my neck that causes serious pain.  I am currently on 10/325 hydrocodone. My mother is a master massage therapist and I see her when our schedules allow. I have a home traction unit that I use religiously.  However, I am addicted to hydrocodone. I have been taking 6-8 10mg pills for awhile and seem to "come by them" relatively easily.  My doctor that I've seen through the years has been treating me and has been fairly liberal with the supply. I know that the drug is effecting me negatively but I absolutely need "something" for the pain.  I will admit that I do sometimes take them for recreation.  Over the weekend I ran out wayyyy too early to get my refill and panic struck. I couldn't sleep at all last night and was in a hot bath at 3am...then traction unit till about 5am.  I have felt terrible all day, not to mention cripplingl neck pain that I haven't felt in a long long time.  I sought and found some pills...therein lies the problem. It's becoming all too real that I am relying on narcotics.  I absolutely don't want to continue down this path but it's quite horrifying to think of going without my meds.  I found this site by googling "hydrocodone withdrawal depression". I'm in rare form mentally because of suddenly stopping, obviously.   Any suggestions on alternatives to pain management?  A fusion on my neck is not an option...detox is, with ample notice to my boss to take time off of work.  And to think, last night I thought I was on my own on this one.  Sincerely glad I found all of you.  Strength in numbers, right?

Thanks in advance.

[NdzHlp]

Good tips everyone!  I have an iPad so I will probably start a journal.... I take this thing everywhere.  Yes my wife is aware of what's going on.  I'm perfectly fine with her being the ration supplier.

I do have pills now.  I've gone from 6-8 daily to only having 4 today and I feel fine.  The plan is for me to let my body adjust to 4/day for a week then 3/day for a week and So on.  I will be discussing this plan of action with my doc and trying to find something that adequately helps with my neck pain while not being addictive.

I don't dislike myself at all like some have mentioned from their personal experiences. I'm a good person either way.  I just don't like "the chains" of a substance controlling thoughts and needs. Kinda like smoking. I'm a very independent person that got off track with the whole "independent" part!  Lol

[vicki595]

Hi~  Regarding seizures :  Very unlikely to have a seizure c/t from hydo and other opiates.  High doses can cause seizures especially with tramadol.  Any benzo or barbiturate stopped abruptly will most likely cause a seizure (Xanax).

So,you have pills now? And you're tapering with your wifes' help?  Good. Stick to that and have her hide those pills.  :)

Good luck!
Vicki

[catmagnet]

You are absolutely right on the money. I wrote a journal while in inpatient detox. Every time something came to mind, I wrote it down. Looking at it now, it's hard to believe how much I hated myself. Whenever I think I just want to give up and give in, I either read or just think about what I had written. Almost seems like a stark-raving lunatic had written it, but it was me in my old life. What a difference being off of drugs makes. Thank God I quit before it killed me.

[tiggz1977]

well as everyone is different, the risk of siezures it all depends on how much you are taking and what else your taking. I was scared also about it which is why I weened off it. if your just taking 10 a day the risk of siezures is low it's more for people who use other Meds ( heroine,oxy, methadone) but heroine and tramadol in my experence seems to have the siezures risk least from what I read and gone through myself. in glad you told someone about it though awesome first step ! if this person has no idea how to ween tell him or her to post here we can try to help answer all questions. but next step is to tell your doctor. also I would suggest to keep a journal. write down how you feel hourly daily, every min, when you feel bad or tempted open this journal and strt at page 1. add on to it keep writting, read it daily o remind yourself of your journey to try to get out of addiction and try to be pain free.

God bless

[NdzHlp]

yes i'm caught in between a rock and a hard place.  I discussed everything with my wife as far as tapering and I was completely honest about my thoughts, feelings and fears.  I'm a very straight forward guy and it's easy for me to communicate on both positive and negative matters.  I am strong willed and I am going to start tapering myself off. My wife is getting daily dose bottles to help me regulate.  One thing I absolutely know I can do on my own is stop the recreational use.  I sought the "fill in" pills because my recreational use jeopardized my ability to use them "as directed" for pain.  My stupidity strikes again. ;).  Once I have tapered down to the prescribed daily amount I will talk to my doc about alternative meds and tapering the rest of the way off of these.  I would be open to stopping cold turkey but, again, I would have to take off of work.  I cannot risk losing my job by being at work detox'ing and working with the clients that I do on a daily basis.  Tapering sounds like the way to go. If I find that I am not progressing as well as I should then the cold turkey method may be applied.

Question. When detox'ing from opiates, is there a risk of seizure?  My uncle worked at a rehab facility and said that Xanax detox causes quite a few people to seize.  I was just curious about that, that doesn't sound too pleasant.  

Thank u guys for your responses.  I looked at this site first thing this morning.  It gives me a little more hope just reading real people's issues and how they're overcoming them.  I've conquered a lot in my short life...I won't be stopped short by some little pills.

[catmagnet]

You're right about strength in numbers! We will all support you. You already know you are an addict and you want to do something about it. That is great! Now you need to tell your doctor about what's been going on. Six to eight hydros at that strength is the upper limit of what should be prescribed. Your doctor could probably put you on a taper schedule, but if that doesn't work and you are still seeking pills to fill in the gaps, then you may need to go to detox...it's a faster way to get the narcotics out of your system because it's a cold turkey method. And the issue with pain control still needs to be addressed...there are non-narcotic pain relievers out there that you could take and they won't run your life like the hydros do. You've taken a giant step just by admitting that you have a problem...it takes courage. Good luck and keep us posted...cat  =)

[tiggz1977]

well you are at a catch 22. you need them for pain but you don't want to get addicted. you need to talk to your doctor about this. tell him your dose is increasing and you still have pain. tell him/her that you want off of opaites. ask about a weening schedule. and find an alternative pain med that's not going to get you into this again. ya it's gonna be ruff, but you will be yourself . my mom is in same boat after knee replacment.. she is takeing same ones 10/325. I know she will have to go through this also, but she uses them for pain also so again the catch 22.