Aa
Lemons....lemonade?
I don't know about anyone else, but I can't escape the fact that detoxing seems the easiest part of obtaining a sober life! I have been clean for 14 days today ( been an addict for roughly 25 years wether it be pot, coke, acid, mushrooms, pills never really cared for the bottle I've always been under the influence of some substance) anyways now that I'm clean I'm completely overwhelmed about starting the rest of my life, I don't know what to do with myself and worse of all I have no ambition.... nothing to look forward to ....when I used I had using to look forward to.... I'm thinking that's why I have relapsed twice ....being sober takes works being drugged up is easy! Im so pissed!!!! yesterday was such s great day... today is horrible!!!!Any words of wisdom?
I say go, be totally open and take what you need from it. Leave the rest. If you go in with your mind made up that you'll hate it, then you will. I always try to be open to anything once. If it's not for me, then I move on. Also try to remember with NA meetings, they are all a little different as far as the folks that attend. It can make a big difference. Some may be better suited to you and your personality. NA/AA is not for everyone. It does work for a lot. If it's not your thing, then just stay committed to finding what is. Good luck to you!
My body is willing, but my mind is not there yet... Either I'll get something out of the meetings or I won't... I do believe I do owe it to myself to try
I just have to say congrats on 2 weeks clean! I am proud of you. You are searching for answers and trying new things. That is so important. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?
You know what, you will learn to look forward to seeing folks in the store. It's not like NA is all those people have going on. They won't walk up and ask how your drug addiction is doing today, maybe in a whisper, if you look low. Think of it as this forum in real time with real people. You should go, or I think you should.
I have been seriously thinking about going to a N/A meeting I even found one near where I live.... I don't know scratch that I know I'm not ready to expose myself to actual people looking at me and having to be accountable about my drug abuse .... I know it's sounds crazy but I feel so comfortable on this board being practically anayamous.... But to actually be with people and they may see me at the grocery store and know I have this problem it's so real.... I'm realistic but I'm very conditioned to be pretending I'm someone else if I go to a meeting I'm totally naked.... Nothing to hide its out there.... Can't put the genie back on the bottle....
I second what everyone says about you just starting out in recovery. Congratulations on your 2 weeks, but don't think how you feel today is how you'll feel in the future. It gets better and better, that's a promise! You will comprehend the word serenity and you will know peace.
Do get into a program of recovery. Get involved in helping others who have gone through what you've just gone through. I can't begin to express how rewarding it is to see someone you helped get clean and serene. This site can keep you busy, and the NA/AA programs can also help you stay busy. AA was founded back in 1936 when two recovering alcoholics, trying to stay sober, went to a hospital and helped a third alcoholic get and stay sober. They discovered that helping others keeps them sober in return. Try it!!
Do get into a program of recovery. Get involved in helping others who have gone through what you've just gone through. I can't begin to express how rewarding it is to see someone you helped get clean and serene. This site can keep you busy, and the NA/AA programs can also help you stay busy. AA was founded back in 1936 when two recovering alcoholics, trying to stay sober, went to a hospital and helped a third alcoholic get and stay sober. They discovered that helping others keeps them sober in return. Try it!!
I think Vic said this but I am repeating. At 14 days your brain is still healing and you need more time to assess how you really are going to feel .It always took me at least 45 days to get back to feeling normal. You do not have paws but you are still in withdrawal so to speak. Our excess receptors need time to close back down after being overused. They also need time to shrink back down to their normal endorphin size as they have enlarged to fit the synthetic opiate we were putting into them. just hang in there exercise daily and eat right and you will really start to see improvements in you mood soon. Great job on your 14 days !!! ;)
Hi and good Job. I think in 14 days you are still healing. It takes while to detox the poisons out and for the Brain to re-balance back. I am not proud to say, and I try not to over analyzing my past and the fact that I have used it ALL for over 40 years. It is really, really hard on us long time user not to think anything was wrong with using Drugs or Booze..BUT it sure is!!! It has caused some mental and physical issues that CAN be balanced back. The brain is a organ too!!
I find that I had to change ALOT of things in my Life. The last 12 years was my Compulsive Behavior to get Wired up and get all my Work done at once and like Yesterday. I now take things in baby steps and get it done when I get to it..No longer stress or be manic over it. I look at this as all material things and I will not be taking it with me when I die. SO I know if it triggers me to use then I will walk away. It is not worth it to me to cut my life any shorter then i might have done already. I get a second chance at Life and I want to really Live it now. I had to change old stomping grounds and people, places and things. It is kind of hard for this older Bat to change but it is a must. It does take a lot of work and it is hard work but it does ease up a bit. We always have to keep that Armor on against this Disease because it can bite you in the ash at anytime. I wish you the best and I agree with all of the above. You will find new or old things to do again when you start to feel much better..Then you will feel like you are on top of the world..Be Safe and stay Strong..Hit some AA/NA too!!! It did take me almost 11 months to turn the best corner yet..BUT I came off of 3 drugs at once and I am no spring chic. Hang Tight and Look Forward!
Bless
I find that I had to change ALOT of things in my Life. The last 12 years was my Compulsive Behavior to get Wired up and get all my Work done at once and like Yesterday. I now take things in baby steps and get it done when I get to it..No longer stress or be manic over it. I look at this as all material things and I will not be taking it with me when I die. SO I know if it triggers me to use then I will walk away. It is not worth it to me to cut my life any shorter then i might have done already. I get a second chance at Life and I want to really Live it now. I had to change old stomping grounds and people, places and things. It is kind of hard for this older Bat to change but it is a must. It does take a lot of work and it is hard work but it does ease up a bit. We always have to keep that Armor on against this Disease because it can bite you in the ash at anytime. I wish you the best and I agree with all of the above. You will find new or old things to do again when you start to feel much better..Then you will feel like you are on top of the world..Be Safe and stay Strong..Hit some AA/NA too!!! It did take me almost 11 months to turn the best corner yet..BUT I came off of 3 drugs at once and I am no spring chic. Hang Tight and Look Forward!
Bless
I'm on day 9 and TOTALLY right there with you in spirit... I think we have all felt that way at one point in time or another. I know I do. Hang in there. Relapse isn't in the cards for us
I just want to thank all of you for your support! I swear I always feel so much better when I get things out in the open to people I believe to be 100% sincere and do have my best interest in mind. Even though I have never meet any of you I feel connected to you all so much! I've been in such a mind struggle also all those memories and emotions I've worked so hard to to push down are rearing there ugly head....I feel I'm just chasing my tail.... around and around I go a vicious circle.... I know my thoughts are all over the place no focus yet! Congraduations on everybody's clean time woohoo!
This is a daily battle. That is for sure. Just look at it this way, it took you 25 years of addiction to decide to make a change. You can't undo 25 years of anything in 2 weeks. The detox is definitely the easy part. In recovery we have to relearn how to do everything sober. I am 115 days clean from pills and over 2 years from alcohol. I can tell you that it does get easier with time. You do have to actively work on your recovery though. Every single day I do at least one thing for my recovery. Some days I have to do a hundred things and it's a whole day affair. Just depends on how hard of a day I'm having. Basically, you get what you put in, so put in that time and effort my friend! Just know that it will get easier as time goes on. Take it one day at a time and know that we are here for you.
congrats on your 14 clean days. yes, yes, yes detoxing is the easy part.
staying clean is the hard part.
you need to do things differently. the recovery road is a long and winding road. sobriety is a marathon not a sprint.
get involved in support groups, new hobbies, exercise, church, reading,
volunteering, organizing and clean your house, closets, garage, basement, new job.
finding a new love and a new zeal for life.
there are endless possibilities to how you can fill your time and make yourself feel better about yourself.
of yes my friend, idle hands are definitely the devils workshop!!!
keeping yourself busy is very important.
we are here.
keep posting for support and encouragement,
Debbie
staying clean is the hard part.
you need to do things differently. the recovery road is a long and winding road. sobriety is a marathon not a sprint.
get involved in support groups, new hobbies, exercise, church, reading,
volunteering, organizing and clean your house, closets, garage, basement, new job.
finding a new love and a new zeal for life.
there are endless possibilities to how you can fill your time and make yourself feel better about yourself.
of yes my friend, idle hands are definitely the devils workshop!!!
keeping yourself busy is very important.
we are here.
keep posting for support and encouragement,
Debbie
While 14 days is great, you are right, it has barely begun. Staying sober is the hardest part, most rewarding too. I have been focusing on getting in as good of physical shape as I can, diet, exercise, and rest. Also, I am focusing on gaining coping skills, resolving resentments, and accepting myself. Those chores take up all my free time, no idle hands for me. I used for about the same amount of time as you, similar drugs too, methadone being my last straw. At a few months clean, I had to evaluate my expectations. I thought sobriety would be different than it is, I think that happens a lot. It has taken time to make new memories, form new habits, and find hobbies to replace 'that thing I looked forward to.' Taking away the drugs is a good start, replacing them is where the work begins. Drugs are the thing you DON'T do, so what is it that you DO in sobriety. Not doing something is easier than doing something. It doesn't feel like that in detox, not doing drugs seems hard, but I found it to be true for me. At one year, I realized I had spent 1/30th of the last 30 years sober. More that 75% of my life I have been high on something, 2% of my adult life has been sober. That's a drop in the ocean. I have a lot more work to do, but it is getting easier. I got a lemon for a life, and my lemonade is still pretty sour, but I am sweetening it a little each day. Each grain of sugar adds up, it takes time to add up to a cup full. You can find your bliss, you may have to carve it out of stone, a stone in it's raw form, but you will see it as you chisel away at it. Keep searching, never look back, you will not regret it.
I know exactly how you feel. I struggled today because i was in my hardest environment. I keep tellling myself, no matter how "bad" i feel, another day of clean is a reason to smile, a victory.
I think N/A or some other support group is absolutely the best thing we can do for ourselves.
If we don't go this route, there is only one other choice. We have to change our thoughts and the way we approach being alive. The anxieties and pains that lead to escape are locked inside. We have to connect with them and learn to recognize them. Introduce ourselves to them and let them speak a different way.
I'm not sure "learning about myself" is a viable journey for me or more people. A positive group, with positive role models, and some positive accountability is the best thing we can do for ourselves.
Hang in there. You aren't alone in those feelings.
I think N/A or some other support group is absolutely the best thing we can do for ourselves.
If we don't go this route, there is only one other choice. We have to change our thoughts and the way we approach being alive. The anxieties and pains that lead to escape are locked inside. We have to connect with them and learn to recognize them. Introduce ourselves to them and let them speak a different way.
I'm not sure "learning about myself" is a viable journey for me or more people. A positive group, with positive role models, and some positive accountability is the best thing we can do for ourselves.
Hang in there. You aren't alone in those feelings.
Thanks samanne.... I suppose what they say is true.... Idle hands are the devils workshop.... I do work part time, yesterday completely motivated today nothing!!! Of course I should mention that I only got 31/2 hours sleep last night.... computer issues that I got obsessive about!!!! I feel P.A.W.S is definitely kicking my tushy!!!!
I feel ya. It is just mind over matter. I know it'll get better for us. Are you working or anything? If not maybe go to some meetings or do some charity work or something anything that can make you feel better about yourself. Do stuff that you felt like you couldn't do when you were using
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