Living a Secret LIFE: Getting off OXYS

[timmy44]

Hi everyone, I dont even know where to begin. Iv been reading all these forums, questions, and advice all day, and my mind is still a wreck. Iv been taking 2-4 30mg oxys a day for about 4 years. Living a sceret life from family & freinds, and now there seems to be no more secret. Im going threw withdrawls pretty bad while staying at my sisters house, i feel so ashamed that she and my niece and nephews have to see me this way.I guess I dont realy have a question, just rambling bc i really dont have anyone else that i think would understand. Pride will not let me seek medical help, or check into any type of program. Im on day 2 of trying to kick this habit, i have 3 pills left that im using as a "winging" method, i have bad dreams, and everything else that comes along with wd's. Im all over the bored here, i guess seeking more advice then what iv already read on the site. which all has been a great help, thanks to you all..

[timmy44]

Im on day 4, and still tapering. Im down to a half a pill a day, but still taking .25 zaniax at nite. I feel guilty everytime i do it, but it seems to be the only thing that makes me feel a little better. I feel like such a junky, and would have never pictured letting myself get to this point.  My emotions are all over the place, with shame, guilt, depression, regret, etc. It just seemed like when i was on the roxys i never felt this way. I went and picked up protein, and B 6 vitiamins hopefully thouse make me feel better. I feel like such a loser, im 24 yrs old. i use to work out 4-5 days a week, now i barely feel like getting out of the house. I hope this gets better. Oh, and did i mention im stilll tapering, which really fustrates me, bc if i still feel this way and im on the drug, how am i gonna feel when im completly off EVERYTHING. (which will be in 4 days). any help/advice is greatly apreciated. thank you, and i wish everyone the best of luck with whatever it is they may be going threw.

[dovecottage]

I know its the last thing you want to do is to leave the house but I promise if you find an NA meeting there will be people going through withdrawls. You can also go to NA online j,just google it the meeting are scheduled but you can go to the site and talk to people who are going through the same things asyou are. I have been pill free since Dec 27th it was nt easy, each day that passed seemed like a lifetime, but each day became easier and easier. Meeting and thia site is what got me through are you taking any vitamins or supplements?  drink lots of water  keep in touch.    Dove

[timmy44]

Thank you for your responces, i guess my main struggle is my mind.  It sounds so pathertic, but all i seem to think about is the drug.. Im on day 3 of self taper, and although my pyschical is coming back, my mind is what i seem to have the most trouble with. Time seems to go by so slow,and i just wish it would all be overwith. to think i could feel like this for another month or longer drives me crazy.. I lived a secret life for years, and now its all catching up with me. *****

[like_mom]

For me personally Im kicking a second habit. Norco this time. I beat my oxy addiction over a yr ago cold turkey. I've read on here each person has different withdrawal times. My detox from oxy lasted 4 weeks!!! The first two were the worst. I tried Valium, klonopin, and others to help after the first two weeks only for 3 days as I was losing my mind. I quickly realized I may have made a mistake and could possibly develop another addiction if I stayed on those mess to help my detox. Anyways here I am again. Doing a fast taper and feeling like hell. I can't take time off work so I can't pull the flu card. I'm finding so much support and many resources on here. I wish I had this forum when I did my oxy detox. But I'm here now to support others like yourself and myself and to fight my own battle. Bottom line, I'm I'm it to win it and want others to know they can too.

[criminy1]

Hey! If you are on day two, you are coming up on the middle for alot of folks. Bang out two more days and see how you feel. It might ease up considerably by then. You are past the gate and on your way!