Long Story, Need some advice

[riverjorge]

Hey guys, never posted anything online about this I have talked to some friends about it and a close friend thinks I should go on suboxone but thought I would ask yall what ya think.  Im a 30 year old male, I suffer from Chronic back pain it is not psychosomatic but the doctors wont give me pain meds cause im flagged as a narcotic abuser.  I have extensive nerve damage, but I cant afford to get a MRI to prove it.  Thats part of the reason I take opiates , the other reason is because I am an addict and I have been an addict for over half my life, that will never change.  I used to be a speed freak up until I got into a bar fight and almost died, had 7 plates put into my skull to rebuild my orbital bones.  Scared me to death, I quit drinking and moved home with my parents started taking those nice little pills the doctor gave me, I loved it, I had energy felt happy and I paid attention to my family and loved them and spent quality time with them for the first time since I was a little kid.  SO now im off the speed its been 2 years since the surgery and im still at my parents house I have a decent job im working at and will be getting medical insurance soon.  I will be definitely be going on Lexapro or another similar SSRI ( MY addiction is a dual diagnosis including mental disorder being bipolar and serious depressive disorder),  But anyways im addicted to opiates now and its getting out of hand in a matter of only 2 years I am up to taking around 50-100 mg of vicodin a day, I also have been taking oxycodone, roxicodone, oxycontin, dilaudid, fentanyl, and morphine but usually vicodin as it is the easiest for me to get.  Is it a good idea to tell my doctor all this? I wont be able to have insurance for another 3 months, **** is just so out of hand and when I cant find or cant afford to get a buzz the WDS are INSANE.  Im thinking going on sub might be the best idea for me due to my adddictive nature at least I know IM taking a pill evry morning it will have a placebo effect on me but I dont know.  There are some good posts on here and its good to know there are other people goign through this crap that have beat it.  I am serious about getting off these pills I quit doing meth and I know I replaced it with another addiction but I can tell you even though I am a terrible addict I am much better person and spend far more time with my family and smiling now.   If you read my story this far thank you and  god bless you.  
Love and Light~~George

[Rich99]

"""You will be an addict all your life"""    I don't buy into that metaphor put out by doctors and rehab advisors.     I was a severe benzo and sleeping pill addict when I finally weaned off enough to end the addiction 2 years ago and I don't have the slightest physical urge to use something that can kill me..    My goal was to NOT be an addict all my life.    

[boyfriendneedshelp]

This sounds too much like my boyfriend who is in a really really dark hole right now - I am prepared to walk out of his life.  I can't deal with the lies, secrets, fading, mood swings, brokeness, etc anymore.  Any advice?

He does at least 8 30mgs of oxy a day. He gets them from family, "friends", and sells them/snorts/shoots them as well. It's soooo f-ed up!

[CJJ28]

I started snorting 20mg oxy's 5yrs ago which led to 40mg oxy's, 80mg oxy's, then snorting herion, then shooting herion and fentanyl or whatever I could get my hands on. I was spending up $200/day on herion and shooting up to 25 bags/day. I tried to quit many times cold turkey, but couldn't handle the withdrawals. Finally, I went to a methadone clinic. The 1st time I detoxed quickly and started using again within a month, the 2nd time my car broke down and I couldn't get to the clinic anymore and started using again, but the 3rd time is hopefully it. I've been going for 2yrs and I'm happy to say almost out of there. I'm down to 8mg from 80mg.  I know alot of people on here say cold turkey is the way to go and if you can do it that way, great. But I couldn't. If you think suboxone will help I say go for it. (I never tried suboxone.) Don't get me wrong coming off the methadone is hard, but tolerable.

[riverjorge]

Im sorry If I caused confusion when I said Id always be an addict, having been through rehab several times we learn there that addiction isnt a disease that goes away.  And as for getting the drugs if you think it makes you more qualified to be an addict because you have a prescription for the drug youre taking then youre looking at this from a different prespective than I am, I started out on scripts yes.  Nowadays I do what i do to make it so im not lying in a pool of sweat in my bed shaking with the window wipe open in december.  I know my life is in a complete disarray if it was peachy keen I wouldnt be posting in a forum about addiction and recovery at 4 in the morning.  I appreciate every response and I will be happy to stop in from time to time and read what everyone is saying here and yeah as soon as I can get to my Doctor and have insurance I really want to get my physical and mental health IN CHECK because they are both completely out of whack!   On an end note for this comment I would just like to say I am very happy to have found a place to come chat to people who have or are going through the same situation as me, I often feel quite alone in my situation and just hearing other people stories is encouraging at the least for me thanks have a good night all
~~Love and Light~~
George

[snakejones]

Hi there, and welcome. All kinds of new friends are waiting to help you if you need us. Your comment about being an addict for half your life and it will never change is correct. You will be an addict all your life, just like the rest of us. Addiction is a terminal illness, but you can be in remission the rest of your life if you can quit! What does need to change is YOU. You've traded speed for opiates--are you now going to make another trade to Suboxone? Suboxone has its own special problems inherent in its power to addict you. Someday you'd need to come off those too, and the withdrawal is really, really bad. And it's very expensive. Do think about just stopping those pills completely. And if you want us, we can be a big help.
I wish you all the best of health and happiness! P.S. When your insurance kicks in, the first thing you need to do is get an MRI of that back and go to a doctor and get checked out. Chronic back problems can eat your soul.

[Rich99]

George,  you really need to sit down,  have a thorough conversation with your doctor about what your goals are.   You don't want the rest of your life to be a repeat of the past OR do you?     You said....
""I have been an addict for over half my life, that will never change""" then you go on to say..."I am up to taking around 50-100 mg of vicodin a day.   I also have been taking oxycodone, roxicodone, oxycontin, dilaudid, fentanyl, and morphine but usually vicodin as it is the easiest for me to get.""  Get? from who?  And it will never change?   Then why are you posting here?    You don't have much of a life.     You need a wake-up call George!    

[gnarly_1]

HEY George welcome to the forum you remind me a lot of me 19yr ago I started on the pain pills for a back ingery at your age and would up spending the next 16 1/2yr on the dam things actually 10 on the pills then 6 1/2 on methadone as a last resort for pain management.....Dude its no way to live
and nether is sub all sub will do is put your addiction on hold it wont give you a buzz it just keeps you out of withdrawals....my advise is keep reading the forum learn all you can about detoxing and then give it a shot I only wish I would have 10 yrs sooner today I got 2yr1mo off the narcotic 7yr6mo off everything else and living clean is so much better then living for your next fix
it no fun having to chace down pills or cout them out to see if you have enough a typical detox takes about a 4 to 5 day week and then your not chained to a pill bottle anymore wouldent it be worth a week of hell for freedom the rest of your life now you have to follow up wqith aftercare to stay clean but trust me it takes a lot less energy and messing around to stay clean then it dose to use we will help you threw this....Dude dont blow your whole life like I did on the stuff living in recovery is a beautiful place let us know how we can help you help yourself.......Gnarly