Lortabs and pain

[jennylynn1]

Hi, I have been reading some of the posts here for the first time. I have been taking lortabs for about 4 years now and I am up to taking 10-15 a day. I started taking them for pain, still rx for pain. I have 6 herniated disc in my back and the one that causes the most pain in not operable because it is pushing into my spinal cord fluid and also have rheumatoid arthritis. So, I really want to quit taking lortabs because I am spending so much money and killing my liver but I am so concerned about the pain. What will I do when I really hurt and don't just want to take a pill?

[Yoda99]

How are you doing?  We haven't heard from you and hope all is well.  I also wanted to mention that my daughter's name is Jennie, so I think I'm taking a special interest in you.  
Let us hear from you.  We're here to help,
Yoda

[TimeToDoIt]

I have never posted here but after reading for a couple of weeks, I thought maybe my story would help you in some way.  It was obvious to me very quickly on the addiction side of this drug, it seems that it is almost the same story.  We all start with a true pain that requires the medication, my problem was Gout... something that is the most pain I have ever experienced.  It would come and go, usually 6 to 8 times a year so my doctor made sure that I had the Hydro available.  Then I discovered the "high" associated with taking one or two a day at work.... I was confortable, able to work better even on things that I did not enjoy doing.  I justified my usage by reading about people taking 8,10,12 or more a day and was floored.  How can a person get to that point?  Obviously I found out as time passed by.  I too, was worried about the next prescribtion, concerned to leave the house without my stash.  Fortunately, I realized this was a dead end road before things got too ugly.  I remember thinking that I am taking these pills, destroying my body, and getting no "benefit" from them.  I had gotten up to 6 to 8 10/325 a day for probably a couple of years.  I feel fortunate that something in my head put a limit of 8 a day even though I did not get the feeling I wanted.
Now the other side of the story, quitting.  As I said, and we all know the addiction side to be very similar, I hope you can trust these people that I have read here trying to help you to kick this habit and believe them when they say that you can do it because my experience has been that the WD side Hydro is similar to what has been posted here.
I began reading this forum not so much for support but for information as to what to expect when I quit.  I would like to share with you my experience because it is fresh on my mind as I am on day 13.  I quit CT, as I did not have the will power to taper and did not have the heart to worry my wife with this revelation that I was addicted and have her dispense the pills to me.
Took last pill Sunday evening the 6th of April.  Monday was not too bad at work and I managed to get through the day.  The worst of it started that night when I tried to sleep.  It seemed that I could not leave my legs in one position for more than a couple of minutes and had to move them all through the night... not much sleep at all.  I finally ended up trying to sleep in a chair... which seemed to help.  Tuesday and Wednesday the same, although I was able to get through work, the nights were void of any good sleep.  I also had the trips to the bathroom...enough said on that.  Fortunately, I had plenty of time off from work and was able to take off Thursday and Friday hoping by the end of the weekend this **** would be over.  By Friday I was sleeping not all night but a world of difference from Monday and Tuesday.  About the same Saturday and Sunday but tried to take walks and stay busy to get my mind off of my legs... which for me has been by far the worst part.  Day 8, back to work on Monday and still a bit of a rough week as I sit all day and my legs would not quit aching... tried to take Ibuprofen to ease this somewhat and I think it helped a little.  Still the trips to the bathroom but not that frequent.  Day 9, Tuesday, sleep almost all night, yea!!!  Wednesday, Thursday, same story with the legs but tolerable.  Day 12, Friday, went with some friends to the Casino and felt pretty good and won $50 (I always lose).  Still achey legs in the afternoon but again tolerable.  Today is day 13, and as I write this I must say that I feel better by far than any other day since quitting and hope that is a good sign.  Energy level is not so great but I am feeling optimistic about the day.... I've even fired the smoker up to cook some good ole briskit Texas style :).
My point is obviously that YOU can do it.  Is it fun? Absolutely not.  Is it easier than facing the medical nightmare we were all heading for, I guarantee it is.  Draw support from where ever you feel you can.  I told no one, so my support was looking at my wonderful family and thinking what I would do to them if this continued (tears).
I hope in some small way this helps you.  God Bless and good luck.

[Greatgreebo]

Well lady-we're both on the 4.5 plan.....you will have 4.5 days of clean before heading back to work....I've had 4.5 hours of sleep since we were both posting earlier this morning!!
I hope your day is going well. You can do this :-)
Give your little girl a hug and remember this:
There's no such thing as a failure who keeps on trying!!

Have a great day and we are all here for you.
Greebs

[troubleinohio]

so glad to hear you are going out to breakfast and to the park with your little girl. I have spent most of this week out with my little boys....to the park included too. They had the best time ever and so did i. Seeing them run around like maniacs and going down the different slides 50 times with huge smiles on their faces made my heart soar =)   Hope you two have a wonderful day today!

[confused456]

Hi Jenny:
I just got on here and I am so glad you are here and are looking to get off these pills. I thought while on them that I was SuperWoman, SuperMom, SuperEverything, WOW...was I wrong!! To be blunt I was more like SuperB****........I will help you in anyway I can. You CAN do this!!!!

[hopsing94]

Hey Jenny good to have you here. If you are looking for support to quit this evil substance you are in a good place. Greatgreebo has set up a nice plan for you to work with and it would be wise to follow it. We have all been in your shoes,some of us are in your shoes now. At the dose your taking right now i'm sure you wake up every morning feeling restless,tired and irritable with that creepy crawly feeling throughout your body. Probably can't wait to take that first pill to make it go away. Your whole day is spent thinking of the pills wondering if you have enough til you get more and when you get low you start stressing and get anxious thinking what if I run out what will I do. You have probably stopped doing lots of things you used to like to do. Your activities are based on if you have enough pills and won't leave the house unless you have enough pills to make it through your trip. Your not alone with that,that is how we all are. I could go on and on. The good thing is your here,you have recognized your problem and you are seeking help. You have probably looked many times for ways to quit until you finally logged on out of desperation. If you follow Greebs plan you can succeed. You DO need to look into some aftercare. Don't get discouraged or ashamed if you fail to succeed. Just get back up and keep trying. I think we all have relapsed at some point. I am currently in a state of relapse and working a plan right now. YOU can do this and we are here for you WHEN you need us. John

[joann1975]

I am tapering still. I was taking up to 20 7.5's a day...this week I have gotten down to 10. I have a taper plan that was given to me on here and I am going shopping this morning for the vitamins and stuff. I was just asking someone if GNC or Walmart is the best option price and selection wise. My GNC is on the other side of town and a pain to get to but I will go if I need to. I am scared of w/d also due to my kiddo and I don't like to be sick. That is why I am tapering and I did have slight w/d symptoms doing that but at least if I don't go cold turkey from 20 a day that could ease the pain...I think. If you want to taper talk to avisg she will help you out like she did me. This place is awesome!

[jennylynn1]

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for talking with me this morning and offering words of encouragement. My beautiful baby is awake and we are going to get cleaned up and I am going to take her out for breakfast and a trip to the park this morning. I have a lot of making up to do for her. I will be back on later today, this evening, so please if anyone has any advice please tell me. Thanks again.

[jennylynn1]

no, I do not have anyone to cover for me to take days off work. We are running a full time person short and I have a job that requires somebody to be there 24/7. You said insight into what else your addiction is doing to you. What is your addiction? Have you quit? How bad was your withdrawl? I am SO SCARED of that w/d.

[jennylynn1]

There is nothing worse to me than to look in her beautiful face and tell her I don't have time to play and she wants me to so much. If I am not trying to find pills to take then I feel so bad because I don't have enough to take. All that little girl wants from me is my time and I have been unable to give it to her. I am going to make that plan, I just looked at a post that has a list of vitamins and things to take while w/d. (posted by FLaddict about aminos) and I am going to go out today and get those things. I am willing to do this to get my life back. I want to play like a kid again with my baby. So everybody please think good thoughts for me, this will be my only support because I cannot tell my friends and family at home....they would never understand and it would devastate my parents. Congrats on 90 days, I am sure you can do it again. How bad was your withdrawl?

[joann1975]

Until you said it I didn't realize my sons needs are met but not his wants....what insight you have given me into what else my addiction is doing to me. You can do it! Stick to your plan.....we are all strong enough. Can you schedule some vacation days?

[Yoda99]

Just a quick note to say "Hang in there" and stay with us.  I'm leaving the computer for awhile, but I'll be back.  My son is coming over this morning, and those visits aren't frequent.  lol
Take care,
Yoda
PS:  There's so many people here that have gone through or are going through what you are.  You'll find lots of advice and support...  Do your research and make that plan...

[troubleinohio]

Jenny the thing that struck a cord with me the most from your posts is when you talked about how your daughters basic needs are met, but not the "wants". That is so true when you are addicted. I didnt realize i was doing the same thing myself mostly too. I have 2 little boys, age 5 and 3. Alot of time I wasnt doing the things they wanted me to...go out and ride bikes with them in the driveway, play ball, walk in our woods, etc. I was too consumed with finding more pills, or in the throes of WD because i couldnt find any .  When i finally got clean (i was on Vicodin for years, and was 90 days clean up until a week ago when i had a brief, crapppy relapse, but Im doing better again now), I was constantly doing everything with my boys again and it made them so darn happy, and me too of course. They are my everything. Now if only i could fix the broken marriage problem here..

I hope you stick around and post here. THis is an amazing place. Let me know if i can help you in any way.  

[Greatgreebo]

Greebo has left the building......:-)

[Greatgreebo]

Hydrocodone/norco's for serious knee problems..I was doing 10-15 pills a day for about 2 years (After a couple of years of working up to the 10-15 pill dose) and then it really got bad for about 6-8 months-I was taking about 40 10/325 mg pills of norco's a day.
Not a pretty sight. 3.5 years of some serious pain med abuse. AND I worked the whole time-I was falling apart inside and nobody had any idea.
I've been clean for about 5 months-You will love being clean because it really is worth it my friend. I have been where you are at right now. I was scared sh*tless and thought I was so alone. Then I found this forum and I realized I wasn't alone and that there were plenty of other people just like me.
So-like I said. Breathe.
Hug your little girl extra tight today and tell her you love her...and then show her how much you love her by quitting the pills.
You can do this.
I'm hoping you feel a little bit better.
I'm walking into walls I'm so tired :-)
I will be talking to you soon.
Have your 'plan' all ready so we can discuss it later today.
sweetdreams
greebs

[jennylynn1]

Thank you, I feel like you are the first in what I hope becomes my "lifeline". Sleep well.

[Greatgreebo]

It is COMPLETELY possible to work at 4.5 days in. I worked the whole time I was WD'ing. I was a bit sweaty and spacey with more than a couple of trips to the bathroom in a night-but hey, you do what you have to do.
You can do this and you will do this. So-it sounds like it is a date for April 28th then.
Don't cry Jenny. Or if you have to cry, make them tears of joy. You WILL get your life back-I promise you.
You have done the hardest part of quitting already---You've admitted there is a problem. That is the biggest and most important thing you can do as an addict.
You are not alone. You are not the only parent to feel like they are not holding up their end of the bargain. I understand how you feel about your child-I missed a big chunk of my son's 'little man' years because of pain meds. I refuse to cry over something I can't get back-but I also refuse to ever let it happen again.
You should do the same. Look forward to playing barbies with your little honey. Look forward to enjoying your time together!!!
So-no more 'sad' crying after tonight. You can do this!!!
I'm exhausted and getting ready to hit the hay. You should relax, get your childcare lined up, relax, stock up on good food and juice, relax....and we can go from there.
Keep posting. Let everyone know what your plans are. Sometimes you will get a 'doom and gloom' post from someone on the forum-it happens-don't let it rattle your cage.
This is like child birth---there's no turning back now-just hold on, do what you have to do to get through it and look forward to the amazing, wonderful gift (your life) you will get out of this very short period of uncomfortableness.
The biggest thing is this: stay positive. Think positive. ALWAYS remember why you are doing this.
I'm going to hit the hay. Go to my journal and read the entries entitled PAWS part 1,2, 3. This will give you some more info/ammo to use against this terrible demon called addiction. You can and will win this battle. Don't ever let yourself think anything different.
Give yourself a hug for me.
Also, private message avisg, GoingToMakeIt, FLaddict, flmagi, Yoda99, road2recovery, gizzy32, hopsing94,wait2long, Savas, worried878, confused456, lostmarbles, skyscreamer, Avalancheblanche, toxictome, oneeagle, taekwondo_fighter, 1234betterlife, troubleinohio, and introduce yourself. They are all my friends (to name a few) and they will be your friends also. They have all been there for me. Tell them about the plan we came up with  They will all be supportive and be there for you.

so--4/28 is the date. You can go back to work after 4.5 days. You are strong and you can do this. Your daughter needs you and YOU need you.
No backing out now.
Greatgreebo is tired. I'm not abandoning you-promise. I'm just gonna get some shuteye. I will PM you tomorrow in the midmorning.
Take care of yourself and enjoy life. You are on the road to getting it back.
Remember,
Relax and breath. Everything else will fall into place.
Stay strong and know that you are NOT alone. We are all here for you.
Start the PMing of your new friends right now if you need to. Lots of them are on the east coast and should be crawling out of bed soon.
You can do this-Congrats on getting your life back for you and your baby!!
Greebs

[jennylynn1]

If I may ask, what is your experience? What were you taking and for how long? How long have you not been medicating yourself?

[jennylynn1]

Harsh and point taken very well.....to the point that her mommy is crying now. I work a very strange schedule.....this upcoming week I will be working first shift Monday, Second shift Tuesday, Third Wed. and Thurs. off Friday and Sat. Back to first on Sunday and then my off days change to Wednesday and Thursday. So I would be talking about stopping on Monday April 28th, working Tuesday off Wednesday and Thursday and back to work on third shift Friday and Saturday. I will not be able to take off work, I have only had this job 5 months and have not acquired any sick time plus there is nobody to work my shift, we are running one full time person short. So, I would be working Tuesday 36 hours clean, off Wed. and Thursday and back to work 3rd shift Friday night, so what is that....working Friday 4 1/2 days without anything. The good news about that (if there is any good news) is that weekends especially 3rd shift is very very slow and I am the only person in the entire building so nobody would be there to witness what I may be experiencing until Sunday night. I would have minimal contact with a few people over the phone or radio but wouldn't acutally see anybody. Is that possible. To work 4 1/2 days in? I WANT to do this so much, I WANT to be the type of mommy who gets in the floor and plays, I want to play babies and barbies and push her on the swing. I never want her to question my love for her. She is my life and I want to live it for her and not a darn pill.

[Greatgreebo]

Just do it
You can do it
You are strong
You can take control of your life
You are the master of your own destiny
You love your daughter more than anything
You can get your life back and start living life WITH your daughter and without pills

[Yoda99]

Use your child as your inspiration.  You will be a better monther once you are no longer counting pills, worring about scripts, etc.  My two oldest childrens' father passed away from cancer some years ago, and my children were my inspiration to be the best mother I could be.  In fact, without those children I would've probably given up.  So the fact that you have a child is a good thing, because we do things for our children that we wouldn't do for ourselves.  You can do it.  I know you can.
Yoda

[Greatgreebo]

It varies from person to person-but after 5 days you will be on the upswing in a physical sense. It is completely survivable. Don't be scared of WD's. Look at the living hell you are in right now-what's a few days of the scoots and night sweats?!?
So, it may take a week or a month to get your sleeping pattern back to normal....how many nights do you lie awake now because of your guilt over your using drugs while trying to raise your daughter?
Just do it. You will be so glad that you did. Don't get yourself all wrapped around the axle over this one.
Your daughter may have to cry herself to sleep for a few nights---that is so much better than her having to cry herself to sleep every night for years because her mommy died because of drugs. You both deserve better than this.
Make a plan. Do you want to quit starting this upcoming Thursday? I vote 'yes' on that one.
You can do this.
Just make up your mind and do it. WD's are NOTHING compared to childbirth. You survived that  and have a beautiful daughter to show for it.
Get your life back.
So....is it a date for Thursday?
This will give you plently of time to get 'pointers' on WD survival :-) from everyone on the forum.
What say you?
greebs

[jennylynn1]

Thanks for  the encouragement, I hope I can find the courage to make that plan.

[Yoda99]

I know that feeling dear.  You hate the sick feeling so much when you don't take them, that you continue to take them.  I went thru that too, every month when I ran out early.  The only solution is to make a plan and quit.  You will find lots of helpful information on this forum and lots of helpful people such as GrGreebo.  When you quit, you will be sick from the withdrawals but it won't last that long.  And then you will be free.  You just have to walk through the fire to get to the other side.  It is so worth it.  So do your research, ask questions, make that plan and quit.  Keep me posted and good luck to you,
Yodes