Aa
Lost everything
I found this site 3 years ago and it has been a rollercoaster ever since... In that time I got married stayed clean relapsed, stayed clean , relapsed, went to inpatient rehab, relapsed, got divorced, now clean for 6 months... My doc was vicodin but after rehab I met people who turned me onto heroin...that was the last straw for my wife and she divorced me.... But to tell you the truth I wanted it maybe even more then she did... I'm not posting this to complain about all the things i have lost... Im posting this because I had 6 months clean from all opiates yesterday and Im feeling more lost then ever... I moved to NYC And have a new life and Everything is going ok except I can't shake all the feelings of worthlessness and regret ... How do you move on? Literally nothing in my life is the same what else do I have to do? Am I doomed to feel like an addict for the rest of my life ?
You have so much to be thankful for and to be proud of!!!! We all have baggage!! We can't change the past, only the future!!! Please see if you can meet with a therapist to work it out!!! I am one month clean today and while I feel good, I am very weepy!!! I never stole for my drugs. I was never arrested or reckless with anyone BUT ME. What I did was wrack up credit card debt that no one can repay!!! All I did was hurt myself and now I am left picking up the pieces. IT'S NOT HOPELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Remember that!!! Sh** happens!!! It happens!!! Walk a mile in another's shoes just once - NO ONE gets a free ride whether you're an addict or not! You are 6 months clean!!!!!! I am soooooooooooooo proud of you!!!! OxyTired is so right!!!!! Today and Tomorrow is all that matters!!!!!!!!!! If you can, find a therapist to talk to and keep coming here!!!!!! Everyone here ROCKS!!!!!! Good luck and God Bless!!!
Just wanted to second what clean in ks said...when you start doing things you love, feelings of confidence, happiness, hopefulness, etc will replace those feelings of regret that you mentioned above. Surround yourself with good people and remember you are worth it. Keep moving forward.
Glad you came back and posted, Beany. 6 months clean and a geographic change provides a great opportunity for you to reach out and meet others in recovery who also want to learn how to move on and find a new purpose in their lives.
Ya know, "they" say (lol)....we become like the 5 people we spend the most time with. Are you isolating still or again? Have you sought out any people in recovery and made some new friends? You can gain so much by surrounding yourself with others whose goals are the same as yours. You will be helped and shown what tools to put in your toolbox...so you can not only stay clean....but make it a new, enjoyable way of life.
Getting the drugs out of our system is only the beginning of the recovery process.....that's just the physical part....the mental and spiritual are starving for new food, too. Hope you'll consider some ways to feed the NEW you and learn what your talents, interests, hobbies, etc are now that you are clean. It we aren't working on our recovery....we are working on a relapse~ 6 months is GREAT.....time to further your growth.
Wishing you the best~
Ya know, "they" say (lol)....we become like the 5 people we spend the most time with. Are you isolating still or again? Have you sought out any people in recovery and made some new friends? You can gain so much by surrounding yourself with others whose goals are the same as yours. You will be helped and shown what tools to put in your toolbox...so you can not only stay clean....but make it a new, enjoyable way of life.
Getting the drugs out of our system is only the beginning of the recovery process.....that's just the physical part....the mental and spiritual are starving for new food, too. Hope you'll consider some ways to feed the NEW you and learn what your talents, interests, hobbies, etc are now that you are clean. It we aren't working on our recovery....we are working on a relapse~ 6 months is GREAT.....time to further your growth.
Wishing you the best~
I can totally identify with how some things in life su## when they should rightfully be a lot better.
I am only clean a few weeks, and my daughter 17 was picked up the other night in possession of a stolen car. I have been out of work for over three months now, and my wife & I are liable for the potential 5-10 thousand in fines alone. All my daughter does to either one of us now is scream obscenities and break things. We are in for a tough time for 8 months when she turns 18. It will be very tough love at that point.
I have been posting on this site, walking to the park in the morning. Looking for any blessing no matter how small.
As crummy as my life might appear to an outsider, each day now clean is my anchor. That is what means the most. I am no good to myself or anyone else when using.
And "this too shall pass"
You mentioned REGRET. That is defined as feeling bad over the past that cannot be changed. I can't go there. Makes me feel hopeless for nothing. Today I am choosing to look to a better today and tomorrow.
For a newbie like me with 20 days clean all I can say is 6 months WOW!
Congrats! You have done so well!!
I am only clean a few weeks, and my daughter 17 was picked up the other night in possession of a stolen car. I have been out of work for over three months now, and my wife & I are liable for the potential 5-10 thousand in fines alone. All my daughter does to either one of us now is scream obscenities and break things. We are in for a tough time for 8 months when she turns 18. It will be very tough love at that point.
I have been posting on this site, walking to the park in the morning. Looking for any blessing no matter how small.
As crummy as my life might appear to an outsider, each day now clean is my anchor. That is what means the most. I am no good to myself or anyone else when using.
And "this too shall pass"
You mentioned REGRET. That is defined as feeling bad over the past that cannot be changed. I can't go there. Makes me feel hopeless for nothing. Today I am choosing to look to a better today and tomorrow.
For a newbie like me with 20 days clean all I can say is 6 months WOW!
Congrats! You have done so well!!
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