Mad at the pills!!!

[tiredofthetabs72]

Well it's been 5 days, today hasn't been spent looking at the clock, a great day!!!! I went to pain center, no pills, yes I faced it, and told them, no more, set up an injection, yes I still have some pain, but it is so manageable!!! That's why I am mad, I'm so angry I let them rule my life cause I was scared of hurting!!! The pain is less then with the pills!!! Drs should be ashamed, they should at least try to get us off of these drugs, I do know some need them, but of course I did too, and guess what??? I numbed 5 years of my life, that right now I am feeling, a lot of feelings!!!! Please folks, give them up, the withdrawls were so doable!!! I am the person I use to be, the fog has lifted!!! Do you remember the person you use to be???

[Jtb12]

I feel the sameway.  2 years going to pain clinic getting 140 oxycodones a month and the dr didn't even know my name.  I was scared of the pain too.  2 back surgeries and I've never had physical therapy. Which I got my family dr to refer me, so I start Monday. Which will help with the pain.  I also have a rx pain med lotion that I use   Good luck

[Amandag78]

Congratulations on 5 days !!!

[lulu747]

You are going through a very normal stage of the process-
Anger at the pills is something we all go through.
Here's the thing- opiates aren't bad.  They are amazing and very useful for acute pain, and in certain times and places (like right now for me waiting for surgery)
The thing is- they are NOT a good option for long term chronic pain.  You will always become dependent, you will build a tolerance, and you will need more and more to get relief.  The chances of becoming addicted and not just dependent are high as well.  If you are dealing with something traumatic they have a numbing effect.  If you don't deal with the trauma and just numb then you become even more addicted.

When I quit cold turkey almost 3 years ago I felt EXACTLY like you feel now.  So much so that I blamed EVERYTHING on the pills and my addiction to them.  Even far into my recovery (a year) I thought they were the source of all evil for me and I swore I would never put another one in my mouth again.  I was mad at the doctors, the pharmacists, myself.  I even managed to forget that I actually had a very real chronic illness.  Actually, I have 3.  I can manage my pain from Crohn's and Rheumatoid Arthritis flares just fine without opiates- I've done that for nearly 3 years now.
However, when my stage 4 endometriosis came back and reared it's ugly head I was absolutely devastated to find that there was no way I could manage the pain and have any quality of life whatsoever without them (and believe me I tried EVERYTHING for 6 months before giving in)
It has been a terrible, awful struggle for me putting these drugs in my body that caused me so much despair.  BUT- I've had to come to peace with it.
I had to work on it in recovery, set up a plan to hold myself accountable, sign an opiate contract, and I know that I will only take the bare minimum pre and post surgery and then get off as soon as possible.
This has been a very hard reconciliation.
I'm telling you this because it's important to know that opiates DO have their time and place.
They just cannot be long term band aids for pain and illness.  The cost is too high and we MUST find other solutions or risk losing things that are so important- like real feelings and clarity.

Anyways, just wanted to share- and also to tell you I am very proud of you.  I am very hopeful that you can manage your pain with injections (so wish I had that option)
Be proud of yourself and keep on moving forward.  The anger is healthy for now....But don't hold on to it.  And do think about aftercare.  It will help you to process and continue to move forward in your recovery.

Peace
Lu

[Sosadinny]

Thank you for the inspiration!! So scared of the WD... I know it's inevitable