Maybe it's had enough

[JACEM5]

I worked 22+yrs in construction and my back deteriorated over that time,my grandfather worked in politics and eventually his heart gave out and he had a heart attack.I was sexually abused for a long time,Ive seen more things in my childhood than any child should,Ive seen my mother beaten,friends have died on me a lot of friends,I saw one die right in front of me when I was 7 or so,taken away from my mother by step family at 6 and physically abused.What I'm getting at is maybe the panic attacks and stuff is my brains way of saying it's had enough.Ya know it's full and can't take anymore.Like my back or a persons heart attack or liver shutting down.I don't know just a thought.Getting close to bedtime getting nervous,anxious and rambling.

[Savas]

Yes, absolutely. BUT, if you come off these anti depressants, you will suffer mood swings and depression.
You'll have to give it time to let your chemistry normalize again.

[marcatj]

yes, you can.  i personally believe it's very likely your brain chemistry has NOT changed, but that you are carrying around alot of emotional pain... and that can be worked through.  it's alot of work, but depression isn't generally about brain chemistry (altho sometimes it is,) however many people are treated as such.

people want a "quick fix" often times.  as do doctors...

[JACEM5]

I noticed that anti depressants don't really have any effect on me,yet they keep giving me them or increasing the ones I'm on.I looked up most of these meds and they do something to the brain,increase this,decrease that.Can't I just be screwed up by all the torturous years Ive suffered through and not have this brain imbalance they keep feeding me drugs to correct?

[justlikeyou]

i understand that events like the ones you have been a part of STRESS our systems beyond what they can take, leaving us completely exhausted , and that stress depletes our neurotransmitters, and that leaves us raw. amino acids  lots of very healthy food and getting rid of as much stress as possible and you might find you start to feel better.



http://mindboosters.libraryonhealth.com/read.php?id=319d40363b85ee60554ea4b3f&chapter=6

[mindovermatter10]

God is the key give it all to him and he will liberate you!!!My prayers go out to you!!Dont abuse yourself like the others did to you YOU DONT DESERVE IT!!!................I too suffered physical/sexual/mental abuse..............God gave me new life and I  believe I deserve it~!!!May he give you peace!!!!!!!!
Life is what we make of it now the past has to be the past at some point............Try not to keep it in the present or else it will make you miserable!!!!!!!
Try to do the things you enjoy doing surround yourself with positive people weed out the bad! All of my support to yoU!God Bless!

[marcatj]

You know, when I was a kid I had a brother die a pretty tragic death, and shortly thereafter my mom became an alcoholic...

I didn't realize how those issues had really impacted me (fear, control issues, repressed anger) until I got into therapy and peeled back the layers.  By the Grace of God (and some hard painful work) luckily I've been able to free up some of that mental energy/psychic pain.

Just sharin'... in case it's somethin' you did want to consider.  It really helped me...

Hope you feel ok tonight, kid....
xox
mj

[No name22]

A realative very close to me was sexually abused and it's now 4 yrs later and she's 13 and her parents are just coming to realize she has horrible anxiety and OCD...So anything can happen anytime...And alot of times for me I make my anxiety worste by talking myslef into it or stressing about things as sson as my head hits the pillow my mind races

[Savas]

Oh, you should go to you tube and check out the "funny cats" section...the ones with captions over still pictures... when I'm getting into a bad mood, something like that is so ridiculous it makes you last.

Seriously, marcatj is right, it's never to late to work through this stuff also. It's better than being silent and stoically exploding and falling apart.

[Savas]

Hey mon, when you get to two am, and your head isn't right, that's the WORST time to be alone with your thoughts.

If you can't sleep because your mind is racing, just don't sit inside and let the walls close in around you. Just go outside and walk. Heck, find a grassy place and lie back and watch the stars. Something, anything to try to get youself out of that mindset.

Basically, I know it sounds lame, but try to do something different, think of something different. I've got a great book, it's called "The book of bunny suicides". I could download some of the pictures to get you through the night. Funny stuff!!!  :)

[marcatj]

Jace... from what I understand, some of that stuff, alot in fact, could be worked through in intense psychotherapy.

That is ALOT of trauma for one person, especially when you are a child.  We put up certain defense mechanisms when we're young just to survive, but as you get older, this stuff has to get processed or it manifests itself in numerous ways (addiction, anxiety, cutting, rage, etc. etc. etc.)

Have you ever tried it?  It sounds like alot of toxic emotions are "living" inside your body, although you may not be concious of it (not to sound psychobabbly - but I believe it's very true...)

If not, I would try it bud...