Maybe it's time

[refills]

Another attack of panic today, that's too many to count the past month. I just can't live like this anymore. I keep talking to the doctor, telling my wife, talk talk talk. I'm not getting anywhere and I'm growing so tired. I still take 1200 mg Neurontin. 50mg trazodone, nortryptiline. Way smaller doses than when started. All that my brain has to do is creep into a bad zone and the wave of anxiousness overwhelms me. I'm way over the top with fear of my brain being permanently damaged. My head feels red hot with dizziness and such an uneasiness that it almost brings me down. I don't want to be admitting these things but I'm desperate for help. I fell in the bathroom the other night, got light headed and lost my grip. Didn't pass out and lucky I didn't bang my stomach, head or knee. I cannot function at any level. I'm in a terrible way right now and I don't know what to do.

Sitting at the keyboard right now and my mind is blank. I have nothing but anguish to offer. I may be leaving the site for awhile to get my head right. I need to take care of myself right now. That may involve different things. This is what we do to ourselves when we decide to abuse our brains a lifetime with substances. For everyone who is trying to clean up their lives, do it NOW! Don't wait until your life is almost over. The way I see it is this is your wake-up call. I need to go away, I have no desire to hurt myself. Just to feel better. I'm sorry. I'll be back

[qpatty]

You are a good and compassionate man and I wouldn't be where I am without your guidance and advice. Sending you love, prayers, and strength. Patty

[msdelight]

Center yourself by counting all the good things around you. Surrender this anxiety and pain to God.  Talk to your friends. Take your meds for anxiety and pain. Your health and well being comes first. Your addiction is second. I sent u a pm yesterday. Stay with us.

[NeverAgain127]

Honey,

Panic attacks are the single most awful, painful thing I have ever experienced in my life.  Unless someone has had them, they have no idea.    I remember telling my doctor I would rather have all my teeth pulled out with no novocaine than have a panic attack...so I hear you.

Are you in therapy?   A good psychologist might do wonders to help you get this under control.    I don't think you've got brain damage...I think that your recent diagnoses, surgery, and all the stress from it is causing you this mental anguish.  

Do what you have to do to get better my friend...a lot of folks here, including me, REALLY value your friendship, wisdom, and compassion.

Hugs,
-Robin

[dominosarah]

Hopefully you can sit down with your doctor and tell him/her what is going on and they will be able to figure out what is going on.  You take care of yourself and get better. Your health comes first.  We will still be here Ike~

[Cricketk92]

Ike
I sent you a PM.... You are in my prayers..... Take care of you right now!  Thats what matters, that you get yourself feeling better!  We are always here for you!
XO  Karen

[VICourageous]

I am so sorry to hear this..I too will send you a PM. I have some questions to ask too.
Bless

[Krissy_123]

Oh Ike,I do hope you reconsider. You help so so many ppl here on a daily basis. I think it's not only good for them but for you also. You were there for me when I quit months ago and I'll always remember you for that. This is a hard time for you right now with the surgery and taking pills when I know you hate it. The lot you are on will make you feel zoned out and such,but it's not forever right? You are coming off them? So this isn't really you feeling this,it's the meds. It will be ok Ike!!

[meegWpaw]

i sent you a pm.

[BearsFan1966]

Oh Refills I am so sorry you are in a bad way! It really stinks when our minds do their own thing! I understand what you are going threw and know that we are here for you my friend!

[newlife52]

Ike......I am going to send you a private message.  You are going to be ok.