Me again..

[Gettingalifeagain]

Hi again..
Thank you for such quick replies...so encouraging.  Can I ask another question....Can any of you please share with me, the blessings you received after you got clean.  Healings with relationships?  Finances? Peace of mind?  Anything for me to look forward to and hold on to for today..
Thank you again...

[Gettingalifeagain]

How beautiful and encouraging your replies are...so much for me to look forward to.  You folks have time under your belt, and I trust what you are telling me....you all say the same things, so I believe you.  I will hold on to your words during these early yucky days.  I want to see things bright and vibrant, and I want to really feel.  I look at pictures in the past, and I look fine, but my heart says, you weren't you.  It's not a good feeling anymore, I just wake up feeling sick and worried.  
Thank you all from my heart, you have truly helped me this morning.....and I will re read your responses in the days to come...

[ActingBrandNew]

"Can any of you please share with me, the blessings you received after you got clean.  Healings with relationships?  Finances? Peace of mind?"

All that and some. Good things happen in recovery. The longer Im clean...the more blessings I seem to receive. Too many things to get into specifics...lets just say I'm alright now.

[lulu747]

Also- I will add that I am not a religious person.  I'm not a God person.  But my spirituality is incredibly important to me and something I lost touch with when I was living in an opiate haze.  A month after detox I began an intensive spiritual journey through mindful meditation and yoga.  It really helped me to feel connected to the bigger picture, to the Universe.  I believe this is crucial for recovery, to connect to something bigger than yourself.  So whether it be God, Allah, Buddha, or even Mother Nature herself...Find a spiritual connection and nurture it.  True healing comes when we connect.

[SmilingBright]

Wow ladies you all have encouraged me greatly today reading this.   ESP you mrs Connie!!!!!  I may have to  keep this handy to read and re read.  As I'm still fighting the fight and getting ready to jump again.  Love you girls.  

[lulu747]

I echo all of the above and will tell you this-
Before I went off my meds I had spent 6 years in bed in pain and illness and an opiate haze.  I was just existing and not living and I was BARELY existing.  I could feel my life force and my soul slowly leaving my body.  Within a year of getting clean I started my own business doing what I love and bought my own home.  I am now a role model and mentor in my community and get to be amazingly creative and make a good living at it.  Two years into sobriety I fell in love and am in the first functional relationship of my life.  I spent the past two years working very hard on myself and finding unconditional love for myself and forgiveness for my past.  Even though I am suffering physically right now immensely, my heart is full of joy and my life is full of love and wonderful friends and family.  I am no longer isolated and alone.
Keep a gratitude journal- it really helps.
You are worthy of health and happiness.  We all are.
Lu

[clean_in_ks]

WOW....there are so many things I could share with you!  All of the above really....but here are some details I am willing to share.  

I was told very early on in recovery that "my face had changed"....(in a good way, of course LOL).  My hubby said the "joy" was back.
I no longer stressed about how many pills were left in the bottle, when they were going to run out, how I could lie to the pharmacy or dr's office to get them earlier, no more HUGE stacks of pharmacy receipts sitting around all over my home.  
For sure more money in our bank account.  No more watching the drive-thru tellers at the bank making "eye talk" to each other about me driving thru yet again.....cashing a HUGE check for cash (my drug money).
My eyes, skin, teeth, hair and nails all started looking better.
My ears quit ringing.....and all the sores I was getting all over my body began to heal.
My relationship with my hubby and all the rest of my family (both immediate AND extended) began healing.
I notice how blue the sky is now.....how loud the birds sing....how gorgeous the cloud formations are....how green the trees, wheat fields and foliage are when I'm driving down the road.  Colors are very vibrant....like a climax for my eyes...hahaha!  
I don' want to stay in "my room" and isolate any more....I LOVE to talk on the phone now....and I wouldn't even answer it before.
I don't have to miss family functions, birthday parties, cookouts, graduations, anything really.....I had stopped going to ALL those things~

Because I still am learning non-narcotic ways to deal with my pain....my body isn't back to where it will be eventually......but when asked last weekend at a HUGE family function, "How are you doing by now?"....I said, "my mind and my heart are FULL and happy.....my body just hasn't gotten the message".  

You keep at it, girl.  Get a little notebook and write down some things as you notice them or feel them.....it will be invaluable to you later and will help you process your feelings~

[VICourageous]

Spiritually keep growing and take Life for what it is.

[dominosarah]

I am living now, not just existing~

[OxyTired]

It is nice not to have my entire day scripted by the periodic required dosing with pills. My thinking is more balanced and centered, so that when I have a challenging situation to deal with, I have a clear head when I am making tough decisions.
My "fun" things don't require a buzz going to be enjoyable. Before, to really get into an aqua session for my back, I would get a warm oxy glow going, so I could enjoy my aqua workout. In fact, I "needed" a buzz to do anything! So, for example, pop a pill-then wash the car. Next, pop a pill-pay the bills.
Time to relax, so pop a pill-watch a movie.....SAD
Now my emotions and experiences, good and bad, are totally mine. (And I seem to remember them more)
Hope this is not totally boring, but that is alot of what my recovery program is: critically looking at my life, small details included.
Bottom line: Oxycodone did not really enhance my life, but learning to live clean has made all the difference- just about anything I do is now so much more deep, rewarding, and enjoyable!

[AShellof_Me]

Hey girl~!

I echo MsD! The blessings of a clean and sober life are too numerous to count... no lie.

So much injury, pain, and loss created by my using... and that which led up to my using... BAH!!! Such loss... sad. But it do NOT dwell BECAUSE God has been SO amazingly gracious to RESTORE ALL and more throughout my recovery journey.  I am often taken to my knees in awe of the goodness I've been given in spite of my mistakes.  I'm especially grateful for the HEALING and restoration of my relationship with my daughter and my parents... I hurt them deeply through my time "out there" in crazy land... Praise God for their forgiveness and giving me strength EACH day to walk out a sober life. ONE day at a time. TODAY, I get to watch my daughter grow into an incredible young woman - not an injured hurting broken human. Wow... My parents don't have to get on their knees everyday any longer wondering if I will make it... or if I will ever be WILLING :)  OH THE GOODNESS of sobriety!!! My heart OVERFLOWS with GRATITUDE for the grace I've been shown... and for the clean time I DO have. :) TODAY I am clean and sober!! Today is a very GOOD day!!! Praise Jesus!

MsD says it perfectly... "It's better than any high I can think of!" Amen sister.

[msdelight]

Hi there! Oh the blessings! Well I am now present in my own life as well as my families, instead of isolating myself and believing the lies of my best friend mr percocet. That toxic love affair is over, and I am free to live without that ball and chain dragging behind me. No more counting pills, chasing pills or worries about how will get through tomorrow without being sick. And the money! That sure was a big bill to carry OMG! I've come to find out that the situations I was running from were bad but not the hopeless dark hole I thought.  Addict brain is a liar! I found out that that I am likable and lovable and I have made so many friends here! I feel strong, supported and never alone!  Folks pray for me, understand me and I do the same for them. It's better than any high I can think of!