Melancholy?

After almost 3 weeks clean I'm feeling ding-**** melancholy. Been feeling melancholy like Frank. Sinatra, I mean. After a date with Hank Williams Sr. & and Granny's roadkill possum. As though my past has caught up with me, or, rather, I'm catching up with my past. Trying to make things right. Like they were when I was clean in the past, oh, so many moons, so very long ago. It's almost as though I'm chasing a dream......I just can't seem to catch up. But I'm having the time of my life trying.

Is it normal at this stage of recovery to be trying so very damn hard to make amends to those you hurt with that lousy addiction? I feel so very vibrant, so alive now, that I can't seem to relax, to just chill and see things without this bright light shining in my eyes telling me to let my family know that I'm back....and ready to slay all that was wrong in the past. Without crying a happy cry when I'm alone?

Sometimes I feel so happy that I could just puke. In fact, I should be sleeping right now but I'm too wound up thinking about what I can do next to be a good father and husband & grandfather. Tell you the truth...it feels kinda' good to be a basket case.

Am I way too emotional at this stage or is it normal to feel like Buddy Holly just before the plane crashes??
Thanks ALL,

Toby

[gnarly_1]

Hey dude your emotions are going to be all over the place im a mans man and cryed like a baby at the slightest sad song or news its your feelings coming back on line you havent had them in a few years....it takes some getting use to....things will smooth out and as far as feeling sorta blaa again it all part of doing this as for making amends actoins speek louder the words it will take a wile to patch up 3 yrs of damage just know with time thing will all work out keep your eyes on the prize you got your heart and soul back get on your knees and thank God for getting you threw it.....I watch so many try so many struggle its got to be God that breaks the chains on the ones that make it....your doing great and its ok to have a bad day now and then makes you appreciate the good ones that much more...as your work threw aftercare you will learn the skills and tools to deal with the days that are ruff
even if just being a little under the weather...again Dude your doing great.....Gnarly

[dominosarah]

What you are feeling is normal.  Our emotions are so foreign to us now as we havent felt them for a long time.  One minute i wanted to conquer the world and the next minute i was crying.  Let yourself feel these emotions.  You will even out after awhile.  Right now your actions will speak louder than words with your loved ones.  Take it one day at a time.  Your doing great!!          sara

[Toby1863]

Wow!
Talk about hitting the nail on the head..........you reign supreme Gnarly!
That's about how I feel. Great...yet with trepidation. I DO like feeling like I'm living again!

Who are these emotions and where the !&%#@! did they come from? LOL
What a wonderful world!

[dominosarah]

I should of read gnarly's post first and i could of just said ditto!!!

[throwindatowl]

Hey FEELINGS. What are those? Ha, they are great. The good the bad and the ugly. Youre are on the right track. I just love being a much much better dad. That totally makes it worth it. Some of us cant do it for ourselves, ok. We all have someone to quit using for. My wallet is in love. Its been lonely for awhile. I  used to fill it up and then its gone. Not anymore. Keep it up. As far as I know feelings are NORMAL. Your a normal good guy and clean. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet....

[Toby1863]

dominosarah..........
My cries have been good cries...not one iota of sadness and for that I am blessed.
Mind over matter and making love to my wife again is so terrific that I can just about stand it without screaming for joy!

When I have a bad day you guys will know it! Until then........[wink]......lol...

Toby

[Toby1863]

I hear that Throwin'.....Keep rockin' and know that being clean is the greatest feeling in the world ...bar none! Excuse the euphoria but you'ns'll know it when you feel it. ;)

Toby

[dominosarah]

Our sex lives suffer so bad while we are using but once we are off of them it is time to reconnect over and over and over~~~~

[Toby1863]

and over............

T     lol

[dominosarah]

ahh life is good!!