Had to get out of the house! The mental battle is ooonnnn. Brain telling me to call somebody. Get one just to get some energy going. Praying right now. Brought the kids to the park . To play in the sun. Feel like I should throw my phone away. Not gonna give in.
Noooo, do NOT give in! You know there can never be "just one". As one of our long term members used to say all the time - A thousand is not enough and one is too many, something like that :) But it always stuck with me. Way to go on getting out of the house, getting some fresh air, and exercise! You are doing this :)
Hey brisco- rough day huh? seems its going around? I can barely stand to stay in one place. So, I stopped at a friends house today and get this, it has never, NEVER happened before but she noticed I was feeling really bad and actually offered a oxy. I did not even know she was on them. I was tempted, just for a second, but turned it down. I left shortly after. It was too much knowing I could easily elevate this pain. Oh well- heres to day 10
starting day 10
Thinking and praying for you
That was pretty strong of you. Can't say I would have been that strong today. Home now. Didn't stop at any of the old stops. So that was good. Think I'll try to clean the house or something. Malaise, boredom, just down today. The rollercoaster continues. Thought the sun might kick up some good vibes. But apparently only the Son is giving out good vibes.
Crimey- it was like the devil popped up to say hi while I am down. What the heck is that all about? Being offered while in withdrawal when its never happened before and now its like a itch I can't scratch- the thought would go away. Gotta get out and do something.
Overeasy- you are a trooper. Think of it as a positive. U said NO! Would you have done that 10 days ago? Be proud. I'm having stormy weather. Emotional. Depressed. Nausea. I keep reading it gets better. I pray to god almighty he speeds this up. Praying for us all.
Hey i know how youre feeling, i am battling the mental too, it is so hard, " my brain keeps telling me to just get one" yup same here. I realized today it was about a year ago i decided to try to stop taking oxycontin, and here i am a year later still trying to stop....all of those "just one tonight, then tomorrow i will start. Tomorrows a better day to detox anyways becase ...(enter any excuse lol) " well that added up to a year already ( of just trying to stop....still before that i was using probably about 3 yrs), wow that was an eye opener when i realized that. Even tho i no i could never just do one, i still convince myself " this time will be different, it really will just be one, tomororw ill get sober again" yea right, that never happens, i guess thats the insanity. I cant even let myself think about "just getting one" or using, its like i literally have to have a mental roadblock for whenever my mind starts to wander, otherwise i know bad things will happen. Anyways, i relate to your post a lot, and admire your strength. I want to believe the more time we can fight thru this, the less our minds will be working against us. The drugs did a number on my life, and the easy way is to just keep going back to it, which is exactly what ive been doing, so trying to make a change. I hope the best for you as well...hows the night going for u?
Still here. Another day and night past. Some sleep would be nice . But that's a luxury right now. Back to work today. 8 days in. Gods in control. He who has begin a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.
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