Messing Up/Staying on track

[ginap60]

So, I had been down to 10 (12.8mg) codeine per day since Monday but yesterday was the worst! So achey and exhausted on the way hom, I put myself propmptly to bed once I got home but had not much in the way of sleep...by 4am(ish) I had to get up. I had 5 of my allowed daily dose, shortly followed by the other 5 as I felt so much in agony. Just before leaving for work an hour ago I had another 5 which is 5 more than I am supposed to be having each day on my self-made tapering schedule. AAAAGGGGHHH. I am such an idiot. I feel like I will never be able to stick to this! I was going to call a clinic today anyway about getting some external support which I will do, but I think if I mess up again like this, I will have to FORCE myself to take a week off work and do it CT instead. It seems to easy too go astray when tapering - too easy to have a few extra when they're right there. Right now I feel like I've just ruined all my progress and failed at it and i'm going to be like this forever blah...blah...blah...I also feel quite sick.
Not sure I can get through three-four more weeks of these horrendous moods and ailments as I take less and less of these dastardly pills I somehow ended up abusing for years of my life! Weeks more of being an absolute *&%^^ to my partner who will think I'm having an anxiety/depression flare up for no apparent reason.
The fact is, it will be so hard to get a week off work to just come completely off them so I am really relying on being able to stick to this schedule I've made for myself. I need it to work.
Right now, I just want to believe so much that I am still on the right track and will be able to end this once and for all.

[ginap60]

Thanks,

[dollface06]

Hey gin...I'm currently detoxing from long term Percocet addiction...I'm about 48 hours into it and also am really struggling with anxiety and the depression....I tried to taper a few times and it is really hard when u have a bunch of pills just sitting there :-/....I think the addict mind just says the heck with it and wants to just be satisfied in the moment....anyways stick with it....everyone is telling me after first 3-5 days it gets better...that's what I'm hoping anyways!!! So good luck to u :)