Please don't tell me to call it tapering. To me, methadone is poison of the worst sort and I will call it detoxification. My question though is if there is anyone on here that has actually gotten completely off methadone? I would really like to have some dialogue with someone having done it as I am on my last 15mgs/day and its getting quite painful. I'll tell my story quickly, but if there is anyone I can talk to about what we go through, please post here or pm me.
When I first started methadone (at the clinic), I thought it was the greatest. I no longer worried about where to get my drug because it was there. I never failed UA's because numbing my past was all I wanted and methadone was king. Problem was that methadone (to me) is the most debilitation and unhealthy of all the pain killers. I reached as high as 160mgs/day when I wanted out.
I started looking all over the net to find someone that had detoxed, but could find very little. I just wanted to find one person who had done what I knew I was going to do. There were a few stories of people that said they had detoxed, but just like a ghost, they were always gone. There was no way for me to "reach out" to them.
So I started 1.5years ago on a slow and painful detox alone. Instead of helping and being an integral part of my detox, the clinic has actually stood in the way in a few instances. Still, I have continued and I'm now at 15mgs/day. I wish I could tell every one of you that it has been easy, but it has not.
Before beginning my detox I put many barriers in place and when I get through I will owe a significant amount of gratitude to the barriers. The barriers ranged from things as significant as my family to as small as an MP3 player full of inspiring music. I owe it most of all to my family, but every barrier has played a role, and I could not have done it with one less of each.
When I detoxed to 40mgs, I was in pain. I had never laid eyes on my clinics physician and they never gave me any emergency numbers to call. It was a very lonely and painful place and I wanted someone that had felt the same way to tell me I was going to be okay. There was none. My family was there, but they couldn't understand the craziness going on in my head. So I started a blog.
ismelltherain.me would become my outlet. I have posted daily detox symptoms and every thought in between on those pages. I haven't decided what to do with it when I'm done (with detox), but I know I will leave it there for anyone else going through the nightmare of pulling these methadone hooks out.
It is true; I have done this detox alone in many respects. I believe no one should ever have to go through these kinds of doubts alone and I will do my part to make sure that happens to nobody else. The blog address is above and my email is purplerain at ismelltherain.me
HI I detox off 150mg and was on it for 6 1/2 yrs it is ruff to detox off of especially in the lower doses if your not on the vitamins get on them go to walmart and pick up there 3 in 1 calcium/magnesum/zinc and start taking 4 in the morning and 4 with dinner in a couple of days this will cut your withdrawals way down this was a real life saver to me I struggled at 40mg also 20mg was the hardest dose for me just know your going to feel differt from day to day doing this it took me around 90 days to recover from its grip and I agree it is detoxification from this stuff P/M me if you have any questions I help most of the methadonians that come threw the forum I will try and help you good luck and God bless........Gnarly
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