I get so infuriated when I read a post by someone who is talking about trying to get off methadone and in comes a commenter who sings it's praises and acts like its holy water. Those are the ones who have obviously not had it affect their body negatively yet, or affect their life I a negative way. So let me tell you what you can expect, should you decide that methadone is going to save your life.....
When I was put on methadone 8 years ago, I too, thought it was a "wonder drug"....I didn't have to take much to be pain free, of course I knew nothing about a drugs half-life at that time either. (No wonder it worked so well at first...half-life of methadone, up to 60 hrs...half-life of Vicodin, approx. 4-5 hrs..) So I started out at 20 mgs a day and did fine...for about 3 months. Then it was increased. And again it only helped a few months and had to be increased...again and again.
During the time I was on it, I had chronic bronchitis, and pneumonia at least once a year (at the ripe old age of 32) and landed in the hospital for days with the pneumonia. I also suffered from double hernias, because I didn't realize how far I was pushing my body, so had surgery to repair those. Then a few years ago, became very ill with stomach issues. Ended up having exploratory surgery to find that I had a collapsed lung, peritonitis and that my appendix had ruptured. All for methadone. Great huh?? The surgeon told me that my colon was bigger than a softball, and normal size should be about the size of a tennis ball...another great effect of the opiate. He also told me if I stayed on the course I was on, that I would NOT live to 60. That absolutely scared the hell out of me...but yet I stayed on it another 3 years because I was afraid of living w/o it and afraid of the withdrawal. But let me say, the exploratory surgery recovery was far worse than I'm experiencing now.
Now lets talk about how it affects you mentally....at first, nothing can touch you...oh yeah, because it "saved your life"....but soon....very soon...it grabs ahold of all your emotions and feelings and hides them away to where YOU can't even find them. Then you start leaving the house less and less. But that's ok, still got the methadone right? THEN, you don't leave the house at all...unless you absolutely have to! You stay up all night and sleep til noon or later every day, then when you do roll yourself out of bed, you plop your a$$ in front of the tv all day, because surely the house will clean itself...but even if it doesn't, who cares?? Then your family starts to wonder what's happened to the person they once knew...and they start begging you to bring that person back...but once again, who cares?
And THEN, that moment of clarity...that moment when you realize how different things are than they were before the methadone...and how different they COULD be...that moment when you realize just how jealous you are of ppl who get out and live their lives to the fullest. And you know it's just within reach....but ohhhh the terrible withdrawals you would have to go thru to be like them.
I'm here to tell you, it's not as terrible as it sounds. Sure, everyone gets on here and moans n groans about the w/d's, but this is like our bit€hfest page...it makes some feel better to just SAY how bad they feel, but it really is like a bad case of the flu, an extended flu, but the flu! You sat in front of the tv all day while you were on methadone, why not sit there while you're getting off it and recover?
I know I tend to ramble, and write books, lol, but it really does irritate me when someone tries to push methadone here...this is for ppl wanting to get OFF the crap. It is not ok to sing praises of a "wonderful drug" to someone who is stating they want off drugs!! Sorry ppl...just had to vent!
Hi Sweetness. Having insomnia again? I slept today after passing my stone, and slept on and off, then at two am woke up wide awake! Not used to this, thankfully.
I have no desire to take methadone. I didn't even know much about it until joining here.
I do remember an exposé our newspaper did of area clinics a few years ago. Pre my opiate Rx. I remember reporters went undercover, and at the time, you had to test positive for opiates to get in the program ( not sure if that's the case now) and the reporters undercover went to every clinic in the state, to "sign up".
They reported having to do an initial urine screen, which of course were negative, but the nurses told them they did indeed test positive for opiates, or in one case Herion, which is what the reporter said he was hooked on. So they were accepted into the program, as long as they could pay.
It also interviewed patients. One girl in particular I remember. Her story was a two hour on winding two lane roads every day each way. I guess here the clinics are closed on the weekends, and because of snow, the girl was one minute late, past closing time and didn't get her weekend meds. The girl's interview was so desperate I'll always remember. She was literally panicked, and wanted to camp out over the weekend at the clinic, hoping a staff member may come by having forgotten something. She said she would have to buy illicit drugs if not. Reading here now about the half life maybe she was just scared, but it was a powerful interview. Her mother actually drove her on these four hour daily trips.
The paper said our clinics had no state oversight.
I have been curious since coming on here, ( not for myself, just because I'm curious by nature and look up everything, road signs I have never seen, etc)
I'm curious how going on Methadone is suppose to help? The newspaper reported the clinics say you don't get high, that it just takes away withdrawls, and made it seem short term. Then the journalists uncovered patients who were def not short term. Still I was shocked when I read on here the length some have taken it.
And apparently it does produce a high? I hear some say it saved their life, and others say it ruined it.
If you don't mind me asking, what info were you fed to decide to go that route? I'm willing to bet there are people on here reading, but not members yet, desperate to go off opiates, and not understanding Methadone.
Heck, what little I knew about it before coming here, I may have considered had it not been an everyday trip, because I thought it was a couple months on it, then miraculously free from addiction. Yes, one month ago I was naive enough to believe there was a med to "fix" your addiction.
I guess what I'm saying is, by posting how you started, why, what you were told, that you just might help the ones out there reading, and considering methadone, to get off opiates, that you can in fact do it without methadone. The horror stories I have read on here shocked me. I truly didn't understand the medicine. It took me two weeks to figure out what MMT meant lol.
I'm not trying to have you persuade someone not to go on it, just give info.
Honestly, when I decided to quit my RX's, I read some first thankfully, for I had no idea I would withdrawl! So I was able to prepare with the Thomas recipie. But if not for my autoimmue disorder, and knowing physically I am not well enough to leave home everyday, I would have fallen prey to methadone, as my perceptions after reading and finding out about physical then mental wds from opiates, thought methadone was a fix. A place to go get help, and never go through physical and mental wds. Because I was under the impression methadone didn't get you high, and there were no wds from methadone. In other words, a miracle.
I also didn't understand opiates at all. Even while on them, I would see documentaries of people hooked, but it never showed the ones hooked by RX's, just ones getting it off the street, shooting up, ending up in jail, and meanwhile I'm taking the stuff, wondering what's weird with my body I don't get high from them, I couldn't imagine paying 40$ for one of my pills. It was all weird, and so glad I stopped before I hit rock bottom.
But that's off subject. I just think you would do a great service to lurkers considering methadone by sorting fact from fiction.
To the ones that swear by it, I don't have enough info to personally say good or bad. But again reading the stories here, make it seem worse than the opiate addiction.
But had I been healthy, after reading what opiate wds did to you mentally, had I been able to leave the house everyday, I believe I would have blindly just gone on methadone. The perception is its a miracle drug. Sorry for repeating myself there. I'm just shocked at how uniformed I was, and I bet many out there are.
Thanks Sweetness! I know your rant is getting out some anger, but it wouldn't surprise me if your testimony stopped someone just on pain pills from going to methadone.
You're a real trooper with a fighting spirit and I greatly admire you! It's day 32 for you right? Congrats girl!!!
Methadone doesn't create the rush of heroine, but it is the same post rush high. It was brought to this country from Germany, where the Nazis put in their soliers what every night to help them sleep and never be able to leave, as they would withdraw and return. It was never intended for pill addiction, only illicit drugs. In 2001, the FDA declared methadone a good choice for chronic pain management, due to the long half life. Doctors can prescribe it now right beside norco. It has hit the streets in pill form and is growing in abuse.
I got my methadone on the street. I think I had a script for opiates once, when I was 17 and had my wisdom teeth pulled, norco. I had not idea what methadone was, but knew they used it to get people off heroine. I thought, well if it's not as addictive as heroine, it must be okay. I went through all the phases sweetness discribed. Wow, this is awesome, and my head is so clear to, I feel like a zomie. Long term methadone use detox was the single most difficult thing I have ever experienced. I was up to 250mg at one point and backed down to 200mg, then 150mg. It took me 2 1/2 years of trying to get of methadone. Be careful people, it almost killed me multiple times.
I agree with most of sweetness opinion on methadone, though my views have changed as time passes. I see methadone used for 1-3 weeks to get addicts through the roughest part of high dose strong opiate addiction. That's not long enough for it to build up in the body and create a new addiction. I now view methadone the same as suboxone/subutex, short term use to get a break and form an aftercare plan. I would never support the long term use of methadone or subs for long term use, unless the plan is to stay on them the rest of their lives. I have one friend who is like a brother to me, he has pins up and down his neck and had an 1800mg a day oxy habit. He is in constant pain and can't function without meds. He went into a coma one day and woke up on suboxone. He will take 4-8mg for the rest of his life. These are the kind of people that should use methadone or subs long term. I still prefer subs over methadone. But subs make people feel like a zomie over time also.
Thanks sweetness, knowledge is power. We get to go through this so we can be of service in preventing others from making our mistakes.
I started on methadone because the Vicodin and Percocet no longer worked...little did I know that my tolerance had increased so much to those drugs that the pain I was having was withdrawal pain! I realize that now but didn't then. Wish I had though. And I had no education on the drug whatsoever...I was just given a script for it and told to take it...and I did..like an idiot. I mean, when I go to the store for something OTC I read damn near the whole box before I purchase it...why wouldn't I read up on the methadone? Maybe because my doc said it was ok, but I'm not blaming them for my addiction...sure they helped it along, but I am my own person, and the choice was mine to make....I made a mistake obviously. I have lost so much weight on the crap that ppl ask if I have health problems...I've always been a healthy looking woman...not fat, but not skin and bones either. That's another thing I didn't mention that it did for me. My 11 year old daughter weighs more than I do. How awful is that!?!
Now I do agree with Weaver on the point of someone who has debilitating pain. But for ppl like me, who were simply just developing a tolerance to the lightweight stuff...they need to find another way because in the end, it's worse than it started out to be. I would've rather went through the withdrawal back when I was on the Percocet, at least I would still weigh 125 lbs (or more...lol), and have my health. And I also agree on the short term therapy...it CAN be a lifesaver, as long as someone knows ahead of time that it WILL be short term. I, on the other hand, was told I would have to take it the rest of my life....bull$hit!! So I guess getting off it didn't even cross my mind until all the effects starting affecting me and my life and my family. That's when I KNEW something had to change, and fast!
I also believe that there should be required classes for methadone patients before they take that first pill. If it doesn't scare them away from it, maybe they do need it. But looking back, I didn't need it! I needed someone to tell me to get off all the opiates! If I weren't so ashamed of myself for allowing all this to happen, I think I would be an anti-methadone advocate. Lol.
ill play devils advocate here. one thing, methadone detox is not the same as methadone maintenance.....for another, there are times that using methadone is preferable to the heroin lifestyle.....if something can break that cycle of commit crime/use...commit crime/use, i think it begs consideration.....just a thought............kk
I agree...it should be used for heroin detox...but short term. That person needs to commit to aftercare as much as they committed to heroin and using. And MM, well that's what I was on...and the detox is definitely different, I never said they were the same to begin with. But every person on MM will develop a tolerance, it's inevitable. But when does the vicous cycle end? Just because someone used heroin and one point in their life does not mean they must stay on methadone their entire life!! They have to learn a new lifestyle!
I agree with most of what you said, in theory...and obviously, you've had a terrible experience, which is unfortunate...but Methadone treatment (BOTH long term AND short term) can be beneficial and appropriate in certain circumstances.
I think the MOST important thing you said was to stress how vital it is for people to educate themselves on the risks of methadone (or ANY new med for that matter), and weigh the risks with the benefits. That's SO true! Methadone itself is not inherently bad or evil...it's not for everyone, and yes, it sometimes causes more harm than good, but each person needs to make that decision for themselves, and while a lot of people have had unfortunate experiences, many have had good ones which cannot be discounted.
Just one example, the chronic heroin user who has used for decades, had multiple OD's and multiple relapses...to weigh the options there, a long term methadone program makes sense as an option. The benefits would outweight the risks.
"But when does the vicous cycle end? Just because someone used heroin and one point in their life does not mean they must stay on methadone their entire life!! They have to learn a new lifestyle! ."
It's a valid point, but it's also important to recognize that that is your opinion. Others may feel differently, and that's okay. This is just like the Sub debate...same idea. You have people on both sides of the fence, and people with varying experiences. One person's choice is no less "right" than another's, it's just different.
I think the very best thing you can offer people trying to get clean is your experience...and again, to stress just HOW important it is to be an INFORMED patient. Sadly, like you said, a lot of people have such a blind faith in doctors. SOME faith is great, but patients need to advocate for themselves, and make decisions like this carefully.
I agree with you also on that scenario...I'm just a little biased at the moment because of how everything has been the last few years. In my case, there was no need for the crap, I was just too dumb and blonde to know it!! Lol. I do think education is the key...making informed decisions and being aware of ALL the risks/benefits. Too bad it's just not that way really...most ppl just do what the doc tells them unfortunately, w/o second opinions or educating oneself. Lesson learned in my case though!! :)
I'm just a little biased at the moment because of how everything has been the last few years. In my case, there was no need for the crap, I was just too dumb and blonde to know it!! Lol.
I don't think there's a soul on Earth who wouldn't feel like you do hon! And, it isn't about you being "dumb", not at all...so many people trust doctors the point where if they recommend something, that's good enough.
It stinks that you had to go through what you did. Just think of how many people will read your words though, and may decide to do their OWN homework before making a decision about Methadone (or Sub)? You're helping others, which is awesome.
I hope that my post can help at least one person out there...that's my goal. Nobody should endure this if they can avoid it. Again, I do believe in short term use, and long term use where appropriate. But either way....educate...educate...and educate some more!
This is a very good post. I love what you said about people educating themselves on the risks methadone or any new drug before they start them. I have just been through a month of hell coming off of AD's and non narcotic pain relievers (after going through opiate withdrawals).
I went to see my doctor today and he really had no idea that these meds caused such bad "discontinuation" effects. I really don't think he believed me but there are a ton of forums all over the internet about how bad the withdrawals are.
Everyone is different and we should do our homework before we take anything.
I'd still choose suboxone maintenance over MM for chronic relapse heroine addicts. Before subs, I saw the use for MM, but other than short term, I think it's to risky. You can't OD on subs, and they have a ceiling effect. I know I'm biased about methadone, so know that is only an opinion.
I agree Weaver...from what I've read, subs are not as risky. Actually, a friend of the family, a 19 year old girl experimenting, overdosed on methadone right before this last Thanksgiving. I think that was my wake up call honestly!
Pat...thankfully, there is more awareness about the AD's, the symptoms of the discontinuation syndrome, and the importance of tapering off to minimize as best at possible. A lot of people have endured hell due to not enough awareness of the effects these meds have on our system.
I'm a HUGE supporter of AD's, simply because of my own experiences, but there are enough horror stories out there. That's why I love sites like this...people get to present both sides and help people to empower themselves, educate themselves, and work WITH their docs instead of just following "directions". BIG difference.
Actually, a friend of the family, a 19 year old girl experimenting, overdosed on methadone right before this last Thanksgiving.
Oh how very sad!!! :0( Did she make it?
Methadone is a very powerful drug, and the OD risk I think is the biggest, especially for someone who relapses after a period of being clean, thinking they can go back to what they were using before...all bad!
Yes I actually had a very good discussion with my doctor today. We both listened. After all the hell going off the Effexor, we discussed other AD's, side effects etc. I went off of Effexor so I could take Cymbalta and I could not tolerate the Cymbalta at all. I felt like I was being poisoned. So, guess what? I am back on Effexor.
He knew I was so afraid of it but told me that I could be on it for the rest of my life (he said I had another 100 years lol). I did have severe depression and PTSD and I didn't realize how much it was helping me.
So, I agree. AD's do have a purpose. I just should have educated myself about them more before I started but on the other hand I was so messed up back then it probably wouldn't have mattered.
No, they found her the next morning. She had a long life to live and it was cut short by her decision to experiment with methadone and Vicodin. It shouldn't be so easy to get your hands on, but as long as ppl are taking it, it will be available on the streets...unfortunately. It was a very sad situation and very few ppl even knew she was experimenting with it. I made my decision to get off of it about 5 days later. I don't even want it in my house for MY kids to get their hands on it! I don't need it that bad....
Sweetness, thanks for your response to my long comment to your post. And Weaver for chiming in too.
I truly believe this post may help someone seek more info before blindly turning to methadone, as I would have, had it not been an everyday things.
Because as I stated above, I was under the impression it was a miracle fix for opiate addiction. And I had never tried to quit before. I had never experienced one day without the meds. So my fear came from reading about the mental aspect of stopping opiates. Not the physical. And I thought two weeks of methadone fixed all that.
And I'm sure I'm not the only naive person out there. So your post may just at least give someone pause to really research it out. I would not have, because I thought I knew.
Ironically I read today that in my state, methadone deaths have surpassed that of any other drug, illicit or prescribed. And it's being fed into the community via prescriptions for pain, the deaths are rarely traced back to clinic doses.
My questions were mainly about methadone for pain pill addiction. I know next to nothing about Heroin, and that maybe a whole different ball game I imagine.
Thanks again Sweetness! I just know this post is going to help someone out there.
The new Diagnostic Statistic Manual, DSM, is coming out in march. For the first time the word addiction will be used and it will officially be a medical condition. The whole world of recovery and drug prescriptions is going to change soon. I think that the nation will see what some of these drugs are costing in total cost, not just dollars.
I'm really sorry for your loss sweetness. I have 12 friends who have died from methadone. As you know, it almost killed me. I live in a town of 3000 and an average of 1 person a year dies from methadone, more than all other drugs combined, including other prescription opiates. I have the same passion for getting the word out as you do. Good for you.
One thing I still don't understand is why when you go to the clinic, to say get over pills, why do they keep upping the dose? Instead of giving what makes you comfortable, and weaning you down from there?
Why does it turn into years? Thanks
It doesn't make sense, it makes dollars, lots of them. Once you are addicted to methadone, you dread the idea of a day without it. I think tobacco is the only drug that surpasses the job security of methadone, that's because it's legal. Not all clinics are in it for the wrong reasons, doctors either, but many of them are. I can't see any other logical reason that a person on weaker opiates would end up on higher doses. The other thing is methadone stops working after awhile, so many people want more. They are usually happy to "HELP," as long as you can afford it.
I will say that the PM doc I went to would not prescribe anything higher than 60mg...and I was up to 50. He said that was his cutoff on that drug and I'm glad it was. At one point, when I was with a different doc, he had prescribed 90mgs a day...even though I told him I couldn't take that much he still prescribed it every month. I felt like I was getting nowhere...fast. So I switched to the other doc who lowered my dose and started doing different procedures...epidurals, radio frequency (burning nerve endings), steroid injection etc...But eventually, it got to where I couldn't afford the $3000 procedures and had to stop those...even with insurance it still racked up a bill up that I am STILL paying for.
And I'm lucky I guess that I've only known one person to die from methadone...Twelve??? Holy shizzle!! That's an enormous amount of loss and I'm so sorry that you've experienced that :(
Oh, and I agree about the cigarettes too. That's my next goal. Try to take them away from me right now though, and I'll turn into Super Bit€h, Super Quick!! Lol. Sad as it is to say, the smokes are keeping me sane while I go through this. Horrible huh...another addiction. One that is just as bad. But God willing, I'll be free from those soon enough :)
i agree with you about methadone. I am a chronic pain suffer who was going to PM for years, he was my drug dealer and it seemed normal since it was all prescribed. Then of course i started to abuse the crap and wanted more and more and guess what, he gave me more. The last time i went there he prescribed me Methodone and i freaked out!!!! I said to the doc that drug is for heroin addicts and not for me and went on on to say how great of a drug it is. Thank the LORD i came here first before i filled that RX, and you bet i ripped it up!!! i was already over my head dealing with all the opiates i was taking and for legit reason but i couldn't take it as prescribed as i wanted to be pain free and numb so what did i do take more and more!!!! I do believe the methadone is a good choice for people who are on heavy drugs like injecting heroin but for taking and abusing opiates i believe you can taper or CT. We addicts are not a one size fits all so some will benefit from the methadone and others will not. But honestly the most important thing to do is educate ourselves before we take that pill, i learned that the hard way but i learned fast.
Methodone is a lesser evil than heroin and congradulations on staying of heroin. I seriously mean congradulations!!!!!!!! I have always associated methodone use as a suitable alternative to heroin.
When I read the original post, it made sense to me because I was addicted to a lesser opiate. Not sure about physical side effects of Methodone though.
I believe it is a crime that the medical profession would encourage someone using a lesser opiate to take Methodone or Subs. The detox for lesser opiates are flu like symptoms and nothing more. I think that may have been the point of the original post.
I just read your post before my last post. You are correct, even I was somewhat simple minded when I read the post. I did not even consider people on stronger opiates during my original reading or the rock bottom that you hit. I think you are a rock star for stopping heroin use!!!!!
Me, I got tired of using the hydro to stay "normal" and it was costing more and more money buying on the street once my monthly persciption ran out.
Wow! I see both points. We have to respect each other too. What might work for one may not work for another. Congrats to BOTH of you for getting your lives back!!! Awsome Job! ((((hugs))))
Its Ok to disagree but we are all addicts. We support each other no matter what. Love you guys!!
Im sorry I do respect all addicts as we are all the same. But in my 4 years of coming here ive never had to respond to a post that pissed me off like this one. Its the choice of words and posting that so everyone can see it. Its not an opinion post its a inapriopriate post that should be deleted because it will offend members such as myself and others. I dont see ANYONE else posting things like this and pissing ppl off. I hardly post on here anymore I just read everynight but when I saw it I had to respond to the convo I was reading. Im dropping it. Preach nonsense all u want.
I agree about the title of the post, it's misleading, because methadone has saved lives. You are right that the people that died where not at a clinic, there is no clinic within 200 miles from where I live. Doctors hand it out and say, "Good luck." The doctor hands an addict 220 10mg methadone and sends them on their way, and some of them die, not most. Not all of the people that died where mixing meds, they where uneducated on what they had. I wish there where good rehabs and clinics in my area, but there never will be, it's too rural. I think the direction this post was going was about education and knowing what you are getting into. We started discussing things like, not one size fits all, and each drug has it's place. I'm sorry you where offended. I can see how that would happen. I simply think that suboxone is a better choice, now that it exists. I've used methadone and subs and I have done a lot of research. Respiratory problems are a symptom of methadone use, including me. I hope you can forgive any offense this thread has caused you. Once you detox off the methadone, give this thread another thought, you may have a different take on what we are talking about. Most long term sub and methadone people who love it are still on it. I am 7 months off methadone and feel much different than my first 3 years of using it. I'm glad you got off the H, I'm glad methadone has helped you, I mean that. If you stay on it long enough it will stop working, just be careful if you plan to stay on it for 10 years.
Hi there, I would like to put my two cents in here about methadone. My situation was that no matter how many drugs I was on for pain, NOTHING would take it away, I had pain 24/7 for many, many years, nobody could diagnose me properly. I ended up on a huge amount of narcotics that did not give me any relief, so methadone was the next option. I was not educated about the drug, it all happened so fast. I am the first to say that methadone DID take my pain away, and what a relief that was. Finally after many years of full time pain, there was something that actually took it away. My highest dose was 130mgs and I know that many of you will think that is high, and I guess it is but that is what it took to get rid of my pain. While I was on methadone I was still searching for answers for my chronic pain and FINALLY I found a holistic/biological dentist who identified the problem within 30 seconds of just looking at an x-ray of my jawbone. I had osteonecrosis in my jawbone from a wisdom tooth that was extracted many years ago and I developed a dry socket in it. Even though the dry socket was tended to at the time, long story short is that it never healed! There was only enough good bone left to regenerate more, and this dentist could not believe I was still alive because of the severity of the necrosis. While on methadone I had a total of 3 surgeries on my jawbone and started to regenerate new bone.At this time I have very little pain in that area. As much as I don't like the drug, methadone was a life saver for me because my pain was so intense and there was no let up whatsoever. So for me, methadone was a great drug. Obviously I was put on it for pain and have never craved opiates. I am nearly off the methadone now, I am at 5mgs and have just gone through my first bout of withdrawal while tapering. This tells me I need to slow the tapering down until I get comfortable again before I drop. I believe that there are many people on methadone that don't take the time needed to do a proper taper,a lot of those people get impatient and end up back on the drug because they couldn't handle the detox. I think there are some very good arguments about the pros and cons of methadone above. I am just saying that for me, it worked out well. Since I have been on methadone I have done a ton of research on it, and I am lucky to not have suffered any side effects ( at least none that I am aware of ). Idon't like the way it gets its claws in to you making it very hard to withdraw from. I think I have done pretty well with my taper as I have only been sick once so far. It all comes down to taking it slowly. Others will disagree with me, they will say just jump off and be done with it, but from what I have seen, those that do that suffer greatly and for a long period of time. So all in all, I do think methadone has it's time and place in society but as mentioned above, education is extremely important. I , personally have no regrets that I went on methaone. It enabled me to live a normal life with no pain, and I never felt a "high" from it, even at 130mgs. There will always be people who agree and disagree about this drug, I just wanted to add my own personal experience,but will tell you that I am really looking forward to being free of it. That should be in about another 40 days, if things go as planned. I know I will suffer some withdrawal and I am prepared for that , but with my long and slow taper, it should be minimal.
I apologize for my comment earlier. All the comments I felt like were directed toward me and it kinda pi$$ed me off...and as anyone coming off methadone knows, your emotions get the best of you sometimes. My post was definitely not intended to offend anyone, I would never do that as the ppl here have helped me through one of the toughest times in my life. And looking at it now, the title of my post is inappropriate as methadone HAS saved lives. But it almost destroyed mine after being on it so long. I had gotten up to taking 10-15 10mg Percocet and evidently my doc thought methadone was the right choice for me at that time. I just wish I had followed my instincts 5 years ago and gotten off it then. As I said in my comment that was deleted, I know my body and I know what methadone has done to my body. And I just think ppl should be more aware of what they put into their bodies before they do it and not let a doctor make every choice for them. It's easy to do that because they've got a 10 year education and you trust them to make the right decisions but it all comes down to us! It's OUR choice to take it or not...and I made that choice. So yes, it IS my own fault...I've never said it wasn't. Believe me, I blame myself more than anyone, for making that mistake. And still hate that I've done this to myself. I've been off it for 33 days and it is STILL affecting my family because I'm still not 100% and won't be for some time yet, so as a wife and mother, I'm not living up to my "duties" right now.
And lastly, I would like to apologize to anyone I offended about their DOC...that is certainly none of my business, and it was VERY immature of me to say that. I feel like such a jerk, but as I also said, emotions are running pretty high right now. I hope everyone can forgive me. And I wish you all the best of luck.
Sometimes it gets heated on this forum! It happens all the time esp when we are all at different levels of sobriety and emotions are running high. I remember once I yelled (well put the cap lock on) at a member advertising rapid detox! I just ,,I don't know. I didn't like it. But I had to pull back and just sort it out in my head. Some members come and go all the time cuz of this. Some members say like it is and don't coddle or sugar coat things. That's what makes this a great forum. Take what you need and leave the rest,,someone elso may need it. (((((((hugs))))))
Well sweetness, whoever reads this post in consideration of methadone gets both sides of the story now. I've finally been clean long enough my emotions are stable and unaffected by others' opinions. I know I've flipped my lid here and elsewhere. I think it's good to go through this sort of conversation and walk away clean, we're learning coping skills. I know I had to really think about what I believed while reading and responding to this post. I lost it a few times when trying to learn about suboxone, and so did a lot of other people. They saved my life, but there are no cure all or absolute demons. We are the demons, the drugs are just there.
You're not kidding Bkitty! I don't think I've offended anyone so far with my posts, but I sure did this time. And like I said, I sure didn't mean to. The reason I titled it the way I did was I had just read a post by someone else who was asking for advice on how to detox from methadone, and someone commented that they should basically stay on it because its a wonderful drug. That may be true for some, but not all. And yes, it did help me in the beginning, but I feel it has done more harm than good in my case. Probably because I didn't know anything about it. I remember when he told me he was going to prescribe it and I was stunned, I told him I had never heard anything good about it, because at that time, it was still widely used for heroin users, and not so much for pain management. But he told me how much better it would work and yada yada yada. So I did it and here I am 8 years later...Causing a ruckus! I'm so sorry folks :(
Weaver, your insight always amazes me! I hope when I'm clean as long as you, that I have the same knowledge and power to help make someone else feel the same way you make me feel! You are an awesome supporter and I wouldn't be where where I am today without your knowledge & advice and the knowledge and advice of SO MANY others here.
And I DO want ppl to know they have a choice, and to stand up and say "hey, do I really need this?" Yes, I was over-using my prescription when I first got on meds, I went from Vicodin, to Percocet, to Oxycontin(which I couldn't handle), and back to Percocet...by that time I was taking probably 100mg a day or better, which for me is ALOT...so methadone did help me for awhile. I shouldn't have titled the post this way...if I could figure out how to change or delete it, I would! Mobile MedHelp is so different than the full site. Grrr.
HI ALL I too went from hydro/oxy to methedone the hydro/oxy w/d was short the methedone went in stages for months and months. I will not get into why and how I felt because you all been there. I was so angry and did the blame thing on the doctors I wanted this medication off the market. I was going to write a book about the drug pushers in the white jackets. but now I am in the AA/NA NEW WORLD NEW LIFE no blame anywhere. Yes it can be used in a good way short term. However when I was in meetings with alot of people coming off of herion they all told me they would shoot themselfs if they had to come off of methedone they said herion is more natural and does leave quicker. We just open up a new NA meeting for people using subox or methedone to taper from other drugs. remeber I went cold trukey and went threw hell too. I would not take anything because I wanted my brain transmitter to fire up again and WOW they really get going and it is great to be clear headed right you all.
God Bless us All Oh yea I heard they made methedone for the soldiers becase they were running short of morphine.
I do think its appropriate for heroin abusers...that was what it was most widely used for...but again, I don't think anyone should take it for years on end. ANYONE with an addiction must learn a new lifestyle and a way of dealing with their addiction rather than just taking something to control it. And really, everything in moderation right? Anything that you put in your body day in and day out, other than nutrition, food, water...the basic elements to survive, is BOUND to take a toll on that body. Shoot, they talk about coffee being bad for you...I know that something chemically/synthetically made by man can't be good long-term! All I was trying to say in my post is what it has done for/to me and how I feel about that. I'm still shocked at some of what was said and am glad it was deleted!
What works for some may not work for others I am not personally familiar with using it but it seems to be an effective tool for some.. You appear to not be happy with your decision to use it . That doesn't mean it is not effective for someone else.. Also hind sight is not always 20/20 if you did not opt to seek methadone from your MD you may not have been in the good place you say you are in today; things may be much different for you. Sometimes invoking the pause button in your head before posting is necessary as emotions can get the best of people and this is a sensitive topic as everyone is going through a lot of different feelings.
Actually, I didn't seek it out, my doctor wrote a script for it one day and handed it to me...and it's not necessarily that I'm so unhappy with my decision to use it, I'm unhappy with what it did to me. I had no idea it would do the things it did. And yes, that's my own fault. And another reason I'm unhappy about it is that I'm NOT in a good place now...I'm fighting to get my life back and I'm fighting to get my health back. And I agree, what works for one doesn't always work for another and vice versa...but simply put....this is JUST my story and my opinion. I'd like to find out how to delete this post!
Sweetness this forum is all about telling our stories and giving our opinions. None of us are professionals and we can only share our experiences.
Your story is important too. Please don't feel badly about your post. It may really help someone. You are CLEAN and that is huge.
Thank you Pat. I had such a bad evening yesterday and today isn't much better. The stress is really getting to me.
I took my daughter down the road to a friends house to play yesterday and I dropped her off, backed out of the driveway and just happened to look to my left as I was pulling away and seen an elderly man laying in the snow beside his car with one foot still in the floorboard and tangled up in his seatbelt. He was out...I literally thought he was dead and it shook me up pretty hard. I called 911 and went and got a neighbor to help me. Seemed like it took the ambulance forever to get there....and we were afraid to move him. We stayed with him til they got him in the ambulance...but nobody knows how long he laid there and I still haven't heard anything about him. I'm finding it hard to forget about. So now, when I see something that I take as negative, it goes right thru me. I've had a horrible headache ever since and am feeling super bit€hy...I'd probably do best to stay away from this site til I get a grip huh!!
Oh wow, that must have been terrible. Thank God you found him and hopefully he is okay. Is there any way you can find out? That would really shake you up and the not knowing is the worst part.
I don't know about staying away from the site. If it makes you feel better to be here then don't leave but if it is upsetting you, take a little break.
Just stay clean. You have come a long way baby and that is the most important thing right now.
. I've had a horrible headache ever since and am feeling super bit€hy...I'd probably do best to stay away from this site til I get a grip huh!! .
Sometimes, breaks are in order, Lord knows I've had to do just that in the past when things got a little heated, it happens. You certainly don't have to...no one is angry or upset, and it was a good discussion...there's a lot of good info in this thread.
Here's some advice that may help you...when you're posting, always reread your post and try to look at it from a 3rd party perspective (which isn't easy I know)...when you're feeling very emotional...angry, sad, or whatever...sometimes it's easy to perhaps word things differently than you intended.
I'll say that indeed, the WORDING of your OP was quite abrasive, which you quickly shared that was due to how you were feeling, and due to your personal experience. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with sharing your personal experience...in fact, it's a good thing...people deserve to hear opinions and viewpoints from both sides of the fence. The ONLY thing I would have told you maybe to change was just how you worded a few things. Examples being the title for one...it's written very strongly, and without clarifying that it is your opinion, it would be easy for people to asume you were trying to present that as a fact (even though that wasn't your intention).
"I get so infuriated when I read a post by someone who is talking about trying to get off methadone and in comes a commenter who sings it's praises and acts like its holy water. Those are the ones who have obviously not had it affect their body negatively yet, or affect their life I a negative way. So let me tell you what you can expect, should you decide that methadone is going to save your life....."
Again, worded very strongly, and for someone who would be a supporter of methadone, I'm SURE you can see how that would instantly put someone on the defensive. When we're feeling very emotional...we can't really always see that. In those cases, I've found, personally, it's best to walk away, regroup, and attempt posting when the emtions have leveled out a bit.
"I know I tend to ramble, and write books, lol, but it really does irritate me when someone tries to push methadone here...this is for ppl wanting to get OFF the crap. It is not ok to sing praises of a "wonderful drug" to someone who is stating they want off drugs!! Sorry ppl...just had to vent! ."
Again...if you try to read that with the appreciation of someone who would disagree, it would be easy to get offended. The only other thing I would tell you is...(in my opinion)...sometimes posts like these are better suited for a journal entry. It's more a narrative, and your experience. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing you for posting it where you did...just trying to give you a little insight into ways I think we can get this info out there without starting a big war between people on both sides of that fence. EVERYONE'S opinion is valuable (and I know you respect others' opinions, that's clear)...I think it's just always good to kind of review your post a time or two before hitting that button...or like I said...give it a shot when your emotions aren't at such a peak. I think if you would have done that...you would have probably changed a few things about your approach.
Don't feel badly, honey...this kind of stuff happens from time to time...and just as I gave you my opinion of maybe how to handle these more sensitive posts, I would say the exact same thing to the responders who reacted very strongly....that certainly doesn't help the situation. Same thing applies...to have that knee jerk reaction and just start posting usually leads to disaster..lol.
Really, don't worry about it. Hope some of what I said makes sense...you and I have that "rambling" thing in common. Ha ha.
Oh yes.. Been there,done that. Our emotions are so up and down right now when we are coming off the drugs. I have sat here shaking when I typed a response and then wish I hadn't responded.
Also things can be misinterpreted so easily when we don't hear the tone that they were intended.
Also, never use words like stupid, dumb etc. Just reading those words set me off. I had to bite my fingers last night when I read a few things here in order not to respond. Every one is entitled to their opinion but no need to get nasty. I am learning haha. I always cool off and feel so bad if I have reacted to a negative post. It's just better to go for a walk.
Due to the fact that all of us are in different stages of recovery we never know how someone will take what we are saying. I think this thread has shown the pros and cons of Methadone. Knowledge is power~
Pat..I've thought about calling the hospital for info, but with not being a relative, I doubt they would give me any info. And all I know is his first name...I've lived here almost 20 years and I think he has too, right down the street, and I have no clue what his last name is...only that it starts with a C. He's probably 70-75 years old and never did regain conciousness before they left so I'd say he is having a rough time. It was almost like a dream, like it wasn't really happening...when the paramedics rolled him over you could see he had been there for a bit, leaves were frozen to his face and all the snow had melted around him. It was horrible. :( I feel so bad for him.
And nursegirl, I agree 100%...I've found I tend to be impulsive and crass lately...certainly not like me, but it is what it is I guess. I'm having a hard time dealing with how I feel physically and I think it shows...pretty vividly. It is definitely a good idea to put some things in my journal and some on posts...I hadn't really thought of that to be honest. I think I have one journal entry since I've been here. Lol. I didn't think before I posted, and really do wish it could be deleted because I do NOT want to deter someone away from it if they really need it. Ohhhh....what did I do? Hard to take some things back after they're said isn't it!
You're absolutely right Sarah, had you asked me a year ago how I felt about methadone, I would've told you I couldn't function w/o it and that it was the only way I could deal with the pain. Had you asked me 6 months ago how I felt about methadone, I would've said I was getting sooo tired of taking it, tired of having to take something just to feel normal and get through the day. And had you asked me two months ago how I felt about methadone, I would've said I absolutely hated being on it because it was controlling me and my entire life! I think I started my recovery before I started my recovery...lol...does that even make sense? And different times during my stint on it, I have felt differently about the methadone. Kinda weird I guess.....
And Pat, I also agree about not using the words "stupid and dumb"....I think that's what got me all fired up because I don't think anyone here is stupid or dumb...quite the opposite actually. We are all very wise ppl, who realize there is a problem that needs fixing. I think that's pretty darn smart really! :)
When I was 17, I moved to the big city. We were at a major intersection walking downtown and an ambulance went through a red light. A car hit the ambulance and it bounced over and hit 2 people who were standing beside us. One was an elderly lady who was knocked unconcious and another was a young man who was just screaming about his leg. I will never forget that and I still wonder about the lady. I looked in the paper for weeks at death notices but of course I didn't know her name and will never know what happened to her. It still haunts me to this day and whenever I am walking and an ambulance goes by, I freeze and expect the worse. I seriously never feel safe.
I just think that you need to find out what happened to him. You will alway wonder and it is very upsetting. We don't need to be haunted by things like that. I am weird and thing like that make me retreat into myself and want to hide. Even at 17 I was always vey fearful of life and the bad things that could happen. It makes me mad because I should have been taking on the world without fear back then.
I just know how traumatic it was for you and hope that you can find out that he is okay and make peace with it.
I agree sarah...and that's why you shouldn't feel bad, sweetness...it ended up being a good discussion, and you were very honest and humble that this is how you feel, and you acknowledged that everyone is different. As long as anyone coming along takes the time to read the whole thread (rather than reacting to the initial statements)...people will get a lot of good info.
We've had the exact same discussions about sub a million times...people who hate it, people who love it...and the truth and the facts are usually somewhere in between. :0)
Im one of the ones who chimed in early in your post.......our opinions differ somewhat but i was really surprised by all the hoopla....its all good from where i stand......you are fine...just expressing yourself........be well................kk
Thanks guys...it's all good...hopefully there's not any one person who is really upset by it...I hate conflict...even on a computer screen. Lol.
And Pat, I'm gonna drive down by that fellas house today and see if anyone knows anything. His son lives right beside him, which I didn't know until after the fact...but he wasn't home when it happened anyway. I just hope he's ok! It's hard to wrap your head around something like that...it's the kind of stuff you see in movies! I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to have to witness something so terrible. And you're right...not knowing is the worst part.
I'm sure glad I'm always emotionally and mentally stable. lol This post encouraged me to go back and look at my posts from the beginning. I won't apologize, but I will say thank you to those who put up with me and my frustration, anger, fears, tears, anxiety, and well, general addiction insanity. I can't afford to dwell on it, I'll have a mental relapse and maybe worse. Everyone who is upset should give themselves a break, everyone else is.
Progress over Perfection....damn I like that! I've never heard that before...and at the moment, it couldn't be more true! One day, when I'm out of the woods, I'm gonna go back and look at all mine...or maybe I'll do it tonight. Lol. I love this site and all my friends here...y'all are truly a big reason I still have my sanity (or what's left of it...lol) today!! Thanks to every single one of you! It's so amazing to have someone to talk to who knows exactly what you're talking about, someone who has been there n done that. There's such a wide array of ppl here...I always know that there will be someone who can help me. :) Hugs to all!!
weaver, i've done the same thing.....gone back and looked at my posts couple months ago....wow.....what a mess i was....still am to a degree, but soooo much better! still crazy but in a good way! lol and you're right, progress not perfection!
Please let us know when you find out and I am praying it is good news. Thanks for letting me get some therapy on your thread lol.
Weaver, I was such a mess when I first found this site. I was so terrified and people were so wonderful to me (still are). They put up with my madness and have helped me through so many emotions and setbacks. We do have to understand everyone who is going through the same. I hate how I still react so quickly and then cool off quickly. Our emotions do come back but we still have to learn how to control them. I am lucky people have been so forgiving of mine. Sometimes it's good though in the real world. I'm not getting walked all over, like I did when I was on pills. I just couldn't be bothered to deal with things. It is nice to feel again.
I'll do that Pat...I made a couple calls and couldn't find anything out so I'm going to try again tomorrow...really need to ease my mind a little. I dont know...I just keep thinking that could've been my father or grandfather.
Hopefully a good nights sleep will come to me tonight...Mr. Sandman...bring me a dream...where ARE you!! Lol.
And you are oh so right about the emotions coming back...full force in my case. I've been speaking my mind alot more lately...I'm not sure if its a good thing or not. I will say I've been somewhat of a doormat over the last ten years because I just didn't care really...I wouldn't say sh*t if I had a mouth full of it...but I'm not so silent anymore though! Maybe it'll get me somewhere...who knows. But either way, I kinda like being able to tell it like it is. :)
Hi again very interesting comments gang since I am new to this site. I started doing drugs when I was 14yrs off and on until I came clean at 56 I had walked away from all drugs without even knowing what a withdraw was until I stated taking pain pills from dr. when I took the methedone for the first time 12 yrs ago I was so afraid of the withdraws I cried out for 10 yrs lost. When I came clean I wanted that evil drug gone for a very long time. I now have a little bit of mixed feelings but for me it is a evil drug........ I like what evreryone says no matter what they feel like at the time. It will be good to look back at what we say as time goes on but most of us share our recovery.
God Bless us all give it away stay clean its great
Methadone is a killer.. On it 8 days, high as a kite/ if you want your free high, it's great. But looking to get your life back, this is horrid awful. Your get your life stuck with one of the most powerful and hard to get off of drugs...40 mgs for 8 days stopped went into withdrawals 4 days later. Read about it, watch methadonia documentary. That will give you your answers.
If your slamming a needle in your arm every day methadone is better then that but it should never replace pills.....I was originally dragged in with a last resort sota pain management I think the doctor new I was abusing by then after 10 yrs of pain pill use he put me on methadone and steroid shots when the steroids dident work anymore and where causing scare tishue hi simply kicked me to the street at 90 mg I couldent find another doctor to per scribe it to me so I went to the clinic as a last resort I stayed at the clinic for 5 more years uping my dose several time finally I got out of the insanity and tapered off.....after using methadone almose 8yrs I find nothing good in it .....I even found a heroin addict once told me he would rather kick heroin 3 times then methadone once it is truly an evil drug bottom line is if your not slamming a needle in your arm you dont need it I hope people head the warning from all of us.............................Gnarly
I for one and Gnarly_1 can attest to this went the Methadone Maitenance road....I tried cold turkey so many times and Failed...my addiction got worse. In April 2011 I walked into a clinic and began taking methadone but NOT before reading everything I coulde about it. I never surpased 40mgs and with the help of this forum but mainly Gnarly I tapered off and have been off since May 6th 2012.
I had very very minimal symptoms and have felt great and live my life free of all Opiates.
So I used Methadone as a means of helping me with my addiction. So I will say it saved my life.
Im so sorry for what you experienced and are still experiencing. But for some people it does help if used properly.....
I WISH I would have seen this post 8 years ago, before going to the methadone clinic. I admit that I have mixed feelings about it to a certain extent ONLY because it did change my life completely. I don't have a single friend that uses, I'm married and I live a "stay at home, soccer mom" type of life now. I'm not in the " scene" anymore I guess. But, that may be because I have a pace to get my drugs that's cheaper than what i was spending on pills and then H, and its readily available... Legally! I don't have to wonder where I'm gonna get my next fix. It's not breaking my bank account. But... Now I feel like i abused the methadone maintenance process. I stayed on. Didn't taper down after being on a comfort dose like I should have 7 years ago. I too thought it was a miricle drug. No w/d's, off dope, legal, cheaper... But now here I am years later wishing I would have educated myself more so that I had either gone in with a good plan, or not gone in at all!
I realize now how much methadone has affected me. I'm lazy, have a horrible diet, FAT... The spark that was once in my eye that could light a room up is no longer there. Now I feel hopeless, like there's no end in sight without having to go through my BIGGEST fear as an addict, and that being withdrawal.
I'm still gonna try though... I haven't completely given up and I'm attempting to detox, by lowering my dose on my own. I know it's gonna be hard. Just wish I had read this kind of forum and had this kind of info BEFORE starting methadone so that I would have realized just how hard its really gonna be. And I too hope that anyone who was in my shoes 8 years ago, takes a good look at this info you've posted and makes a better informed decision than I did!
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