I agree w/ your post 110%..... just an additive....I believe suboxone is the same damn thing!!!!!
tell them to start lowering ur dose.....7 yrs is a long time to be still going...its all about the money for them...thats bull they kept u that long.
I WISH I would have seen this post 8 years ago, before going to the methadone clinic. I admit that I have mixed feelings about it to a certain extent ONLY because it did change my life completely. I don't have a single friend that uses, I'm married and I live a "stay at home, soccer mom" type of life now. I'm not in the " scene" anymore I guess. But, that may be because I have a pace to get my drugs that's cheaper than what i was spending on pills and then H, and its readily available... Legally! I don't have to wonder where I'm gonna get my next fix. It's not breaking my bank account. But... Now I feel like i abused the methadone maintenance process. I stayed on. Didn't taper down after being on a comfort dose like I should have 7 years ago. I too thought it was a miricle drug. No w/d's, off dope, legal, cheaper... But now here I am years later wishing I would have educated myself more so that I had either gone in with a good plan, or not gone in at all!
I realize now how much methadone has affected me. I'm lazy, have a horrible diet, FAT... The spark that was once in my eye that could light a room up is no longer there. Now I feel hopeless, like there's no end in sight without having to go through my BIGGEST fear as an addict, and that being withdrawal.
I'm still gonna try though... I haven't completely given up and I'm attempting to detox, by lowering my dose on my own. I know it's gonna be hard. Just wish I had read this kind of forum and had this kind of info BEFORE starting methadone so that I would have realized just how hard its really gonna be. And I too hope that anyone who was in my shoes 8 years ago, takes a good look at this info you've posted and makes a better informed decision than I did!
I just want to say Sweetness, you're missed here! I hope you are reading at least. But I noticed you haven't posted much since the idea of taking a break came in to play during this thread.
But come back, we miss you!
I for one and Gnarly_1 can attest to this went the Methadone Maitenance road....I tried cold turkey so many times and Failed...my addiction got worse. In April 2011 I walked into a clinic and began taking methadone but NOT before reading everything I coulde about it. I never surpased 40mgs and with the help of this forum but mainly Gnarly I tapered off and have been off since May 6th 2012.
I had very very minimal symptoms and have felt great and live my life free of all Opiates.
So I used Methadone as a means of helping me with my addiction. So I will say it saved my life.
Im so sorry for what you experienced and are still experiencing. But for some people it does help if used properly.....
A recovering addict.....
Kim
If your slamming a needle in your arm every day methadone is better then that but it should never replace pills.....I was originally dragged in with a last resort sota pain management I think the doctor new I was abusing by then after 10 yrs of pain pill use he put me on methadone and steroid shots when the steroids dident work anymore and where causing scare tishue hi simply kicked me to the street at 90 mg I couldent find another doctor to per scribe it to me so I went to the clinic as a last resort I stayed at the clinic for 5 more years uping my dose several time finally I got out of the insanity and tapered off.....after using methadone almose 8yrs I find nothing good in it .....I even found a heroin addict once told me he would rather kick heroin 3 times then methadone once it is truly an evil drug bottom line is if your not slamming a needle in your arm you dont need it I hope people head the warning from all of us.............................Gnarly
Methadone is a killer.. On it 8 days, high as a kite/ if you want your free high, it's great. But looking to get your life back, this is horrid awful. Your get your life stuck with one of the most powerful and hard to get off of drugs...40 mgs for 8 days stopped went into withdrawals 4 days later. Read about it, watch methadonia documentary. That will give you your answers.
Hi again very interesting comments gang since I am new to this site. I started doing drugs when I was 14yrs off and on until I came clean at 56 I had walked away from all drugs without even knowing what a withdraw was until I stated taking pain pills from dr. when I took the methedone for the first time 12 yrs ago I was so afraid of the withdraws I cried out for 10 yrs lost. When I came clean I wanted that evil drug gone for a very long time. I now have a little bit of mixed feelings but for me it is a evil drug........ I like what evreryone says no matter what they feel like at the time. It will be good to look back at what we say as time goes on but most of us share our recovery.
God Bless us all give it away stay clean its great
vvicidaho
I'll do that Pat...I made a couple calls and couldn't find anything out so I'm going to try again tomorrow...really need to ease my mind a little. I dont know...I just keep thinking that could've been my father or grandfather.
Hopefully a good nights sleep will come to me tonight...Mr. Sandman...bring me a dream...where ARE you!! Lol.
And you are oh so right about the emotions coming back...full force in my case. I've been speaking my mind alot more lately...I'm not sure if its a good thing or not. I will say I've been somewhat of a doormat over the last ten years because I just didn't care really...I wouldn't say sh*t if I had a mouth full of it...but I'm not so silent anymore though! Maybe it'll get me somewhere...who knows. But either way, I kinda like being able to tell it like it is. :)
Please let us know when you find out and I am praying it is good news. Thanks for letting me get some therapy on your thread lol.
Weaver, I was such a mess when I first found this site. I was so terrified and people were so wonderful to me (still are). They put up with my madness and have helped me through so many emotions and setbacks. We do have to understand everyone who is going through the same. I hate how I still react so quickly and then cool off quickly. Our emotions do come back but we still have to learn how to control them. I am lucky people have been so forgiving of mine. Sometimes it's good though in the real world. I'm not getting walked all over, like I did when I was on pills. I just couldn't be bothered to deal with things. It is nice to feel again.
weaver, i've done the same thing.....gone back and looked at my posts couple months ago....wow.....what a mess i was....still am to a degree, but soooo much better! still crazy but in a good way! lol and you're right, progress not perfection!
Progress over Perfection....damn I like that! I've never heard that before...and at the moment, it couldn't be more true! One day, when I'm out of the woods, I'm gonna go back and look at all mine...or maybe I'll do it tonight. Lol. I love this site and all my friends here...y'all are truly a big reason I still have my sanity (or what's left of it...lol) today!! Thanks to every single one of you! It's so amazing to have someone to talk to who knows exactly what you're talking about, someone who has been there n done that. There's such a wide array of ppl here...I always know that there will be someone who can help me. :) Hugs to all!!
I'm sure glad I'm always emotionally and mentally stable. lol This post encouraged me to go back and look at my posts from the beginning. I won't apologize, but I will say thank you to those who put up with me and my frustration, anger, fears, tears, anxiety, and well, general addiction insanity. I can't afford to dwell on it, I'll have a mental relapse and maybe worse. Everyone who is upset should give themselves a break, everyone else is.
Progress over Perfection!!!
That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it!!!
Thanks guys...it's all good...hopefully there's not any one person who is really upset by it...I hate conflict...even on a computer screen. Lol.
And Pat, I'm gonna drive down by that fellas house today and see if anyone knows anything. His son lives right beside him, which I didn't know until after the fact...but he wasn't home when it happened anyway. I just hope he's ok! It's hard to wrap your head around something like that...it's the kind of stuff you see in movies! I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to have to witness something so terrible. And you're right...not knowing is the worst part.
Im one of the ones who chimed in early in your post.......our opinions differ somewhat but i was really surprised by all the hoopla....its all good from where i stand......you are fine...just expressing yourself........be well................kk
I agree sarah...and that's why you shouldn't feel bad, sweetness...it ended up being a good discussion, and you were very honest and humble that this is how you feel, and you acknowledged that everyone is different. As long as anyone coming along takes the time to read the whole thread (rather than reacting to the initial statements)...people will get a lot of good info.
We've had the exact same discussions about sub a million times...people who hate it, people who love it...and the truth and the facts are usually somewhere in between. :0)
When I was 17, I moved to the big city. We were at a major intersection walking downtown and an ambulance went through a red light. A car hit the ambulance and it bounced over and hit 2 people who were standing beside us. One was an elderly lady who was knocked unconcious and another was a young man who was just screaming about his leg. I will never forget that and I still wonder about the lady. I looked in the paper for weeks at death notices but of course I didn't know her name and will never know what happened to her. It still haunts me to this day and whenever I am walking and an ambulance goes by, I freeze and expect the worse. I seriously never feel safe.
I just think that you need to find out what happened to him. You will alway wonder and it is very upsetting. We don't need to be haunted by things like that. I am weird and thing like that make me retreat into myself and want to hide. Even at 17 I was always vey fearful of life and the bad things that could happen. It makes me mad because I should have been taking on the world without fear back then.
I just know how traumatic it was for you and hope that you can find out that he is okay and make peace with it.
You're absolutely right Sarah, had you asked me a year ago how I felt about methadone, I would've told you I couldn't function w/o it and that it was the only way I could deal with the pain. Had you asked me 6 months ago how I felt about methadone, I would've said I was getting sooo tired of taking it, tired of having to take something just to feel normal and get through the day. And had you asked me two months ago how I felt about methadone, I would've said I absolutely hated being on it because it was controlling me and my entire life! I think I started my recovery before I started my recovery...lol...does that even make sense? And different times during my stint on it, I have felt differently about the methadone. Kinda weird I guess.....
And Pat, I also agree about not using the words "stupid and dumb"....I think that's what got me all fired up because I don't think anyone here is stupid or dumb...quite the opposite actually. We are all very wise ppl, who realize there is a problem that needs fixing. I think that's pretty darn smart really! :)
Pat..I've thought about calling the hospital for info, but with not being a relative, I doubt they would give me any info. And all I know is his first name...I've lived here almost 20 years and I think he has too, right down the street, and I have no clue what his last name is...only that it starts with a C. He's probably 70-75 years old and never did regain conciousness before they left so I'd say he is having a rough time. It was almost like a dream, like it wasn't really happening...when the paramedics rolled him over you could see he had been there for a bit, leaves were frozen to his face and all the snow had melted around him. It was horrible. :( I feel so bad for him.
And nursegirl, I agree 100%...I've found I tend to be impulsive and crass lately...certainly not like me, but it is what it is I guess. I'm having a hard time dealing with how I feel physically and I think it shows...pretty vividly. It is definitely a good idea to put some things in my journal and some on posts...I hadn't really thought of that to be honest. I think I have one journal entry since I've been here. Lol. I didn't think before I posted, and really do wish it could be deleted because I do NOT want to deter someone away from it if they really need it. Ohhhh....what did I do? Hard to take some things back after they're said isn't it!
Due to the fact that all of us are in different stages of recovery we never know how someone will take what we are saying. I think this thread has shown the pros and cons of Methadone. Knowledge is power~
Absolutely, Pat.
Well said.
Oh yes.. Been there,done that. Our emotions are so up and down right now when we are coming off the drugs. I have sat here shaking when I typed a response and then wish I hadn't responded.
Also things can be misinterpreted so easily when we don't hear the tone that they were intended.
Also, never use words like stupid, dumb etc. Just reading those words set me off. I had to bite my fingers last night when I read a few things here in order not to respond. Every one is entitled to their opinion but no need to get nasty. I am learning haha. I always cool off and feel so bad if I have reacted to a negative post. It's just better to go for a walk.
. I've had a horrible headache ever since and am feeling super bit€hy...I'd probably do best to stay away from this site til I get a grip huh!! .
Sometimes, breaks are in order, Lord knows I've had to do just that in the past when things got a little heated, it happens. You certainly don't have to...no one is angry or upset, and it was a good discussion...there's a lot of good info in this thread.
Here's some advice that may help you...when you're posting, always reread your post and try to look at it from a 3rd party perspective (which isn't easy I know)...when you're feeling very emotional...angry, sad, or whatever...sometimes it's easy to perhaps word things differently than you intended.
I'll say that indeed, the WORDING of your OP was quite abrasive, which you quickly shared that was due to how you were feeling, and due to your personal experience. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with sharing your personal experience...in fact, it's a good thing...people deserve to hear opinions and viewpoints from both sides of the fence. The ONLY thing I would have told you maybe to change was just how you worded a few things. Examples being the title for one...it's written very strongly, and without clarifying that it is your opinion, it would be easy for people to asume you were trying to present that as a fact (even though that wasn't your intention).
"I get so infuriated when I read a post by someone who is talking about trying to get off methadone and in comes a commenter who sings it's praises and acts like its holy water. Those are the ones who have obviously not had it affect their body negatively yet, or affect their life I a negative way. So let me tell you what you can expect, should you decide that methadone is going to save your life....."
Again, worded very strongly, and for someone who would be a supporter of methadone, I'm SURE you can see how that would instantly put someone on the defensive. When we're feeling very emotional...we can't really always see that. In those cases, I've found, personally, it's best to walk away, regroup, and attempt posting when the emtions have leveled out a bit.
"I know I tend to ramble, and write books, lol, but it really does irritate me when someone tries to push methadone here...this is for ppl wanting to get OFF the crap. It is not ok to sing praises of a "wonderful drug" to someone who is stating they want off drugs!! Sorry ppl...just had to vent! ."
Again...if you try to read that with the appreciation of someone who would disagree, it would be easy to get offended. The only other thing I would tell you is...(in my opinion)...sometimes posts like these are better suited for a journal entry. It's more a narrative, and your experience. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticizing you for posting it where you did...just trying to give you a little insight into ways I think we can get this info out there without starting a big war between people on both sides of that fence. EVERYONE'S opinion is valuable (and I know you respect others' opinions, that's clear)...I think it's just always good to kind of review your post a time or two before hitting that button...or like I said...give it a shot when your emotions aren't at such a peak. I think if you would have done that...you would have probably changed a few things about your approach.
Don't feel badly, honey...this kind of stuff happens from time to time...and just as I gave you my opinion of maybe how to handle these more sensitive posts, I would say the exact same thing to the responders who reacted very strongly....that certainly doesn't help the situation. Same thing applies...to have that knee jerk reaction and just start posting usually leads to disaster..lol.
Really, don't worry about it. Hope some of what I said makes sense...you and I have that "rambling" thing in common. Ha ha.
Hope you have a nice weekend!