Methadone tapering eeek not going well

I am at 32mg i have tapered from 130mg and i am going CRAZY. I have these fits of rage and anger i am so depressed i just cry all day...i barely have the energy to get off the couch to take care of my son. I also can't sleep and have massive anxiety i take Klonapin and it does not do much. I feel worse now than ever...i don't want to go back up after coming so far...any suggestions will help me so much! Thank you :(

[gnarly_1]

HI Vicki thanks for covering dont know what this forum would do without you love ya.....if your still struggling around 20mg switching to sub has helped some of our members get off this stuff but you got to have you dose down around 20mg for the switch to go smoothly if you go on a 90 day sub progarm you can beat the tearable withdrawals from methadone theres only one wild card some people come off sub with no problems at 2mg others take it down to crumbs and suffer threwterable withdrawals its a crap shoot you dont know till you try and get off......tapering off methadone is doable it not ez but it is doable I think once we get some vitimins in you and start you on the proten drinks you will start to do better btw the chocolate flavor is the best one but the vanilla ant to bad ether never been big on the strawberry
see how you do on that stuff the whey protein is only 15 bucks for 2lb can so its cheep  

[vicki595]

Hi!  Oh boy!!   First off, Gnarly will be checking in and he'll see this and post to you. He'll help you; he has much experience!

How long have you been at 32mg?  No, don't go back up!  I don't know how quickly you went from 130 to 32 but this process needs to be slow, like weeks at one dose, and then a small drop,etc...Are you following a taper plan at all?

Post some more and he'll be checking...i'll send him a note.  Are you eating,drinking,and moving around? You need to do that friend...Sit tight!

[passionplay28]

I have been at 32mg for over a month...i went down pretty fast.
The methadone made me gain so much weight and mentally has made me a crazy person so i just wanted to be normal again.
I go to a methadone clinic and HATE it..they don't care about you i have been there 3 years and gone through 4 counselors i pay 400.00 a month and that is KILLING me (another reason i was tapering so fast!).
So i pretty much i tell them when i want to go down and am allowed to do 2mg a week. So that is what i have been doing...now i am paying for it! I feel very nauseous and weak and extremely angry all the time. Going through bad depression so i don't even want to leave the house that is how bad this is...and this is not me i used to be motivated and i am completely the opposite!  
Thank you so much for your advice it really means the world to me! Hope my rambling made some sense.

[passionplay28]

I honestly couldn't tell you the last time i felt okay. I was just on a mission of getting out of that clinic and getting my life back. I know i should have gone allot slower...i don't have allot of support and just get put down for ever getting on methadone. The only thing i know now is to slow down....but it is taking over a month to feel okay where i am at. Thank you for the advice and support...it is much appreciated and needed!!

[vicki595]

Hey!  Gnarly usually checks in here later in the evening; I think he's one hour behind you...

You know, there might be a better way for you and really I'm not sure...But,for the money you're spending and still going to the clinic (right?),and feeling so awful anyway, and miserable (!!) MAYBE getting on Suboxone would help you. Then, once you're safely over to that and comfortable, continue to taper off...Just a thought because I hear that desperation and I know it so well.   I defer to Gnarly, so let's see what he says...I did send him a message earlier.   Hang on...

[passionplay28]

Thank you sooo much! I really appreciate the support and would really appreciate what Gnarly has to say. Don't have much support so you have no idea how much it means to me ♥

[passionplay28]

And yes, still at the clinic i am a prisoner to unfortunately...

[vicki595]

Ha!  Stick around! You'll get so much support here you'll be hiding just to get some peace!

No...it's just good here...and Gnarly will walk you right through the weeds and crab grass!

(Weeds and crab grass???  I have no idea where that came from!! hahaha!)

Yes...I know it means a lot to have a bud!!

[passionplay28]

lol :) your funny...can't wait for the walk through the weeds and crab grass he he :)

[vicki595]

Where DID that come from???  LOL   Obviously...I'm no Emily Dickinson...maybe Sylvia Plath???

I'll get some background for G.  What did you take before the Methadone?

Klonopin?  Everyday?  How much?  Those two drugs don't exactly work great together...so be careful always...

[vicki595]

Thanks! Yes, he'll know...you need to be very careful with the switch and you need to be in moderate withdrawl (withdrawal) but when it's done properly or with Subutex first and THEN Suboxone...I think it would be a dream!  Hope so!   Good night!

[passionplay28]

Before Methadone i started taking percocets and then went to smoking oxys...this went on for over a year until i just couldn't take the withdrawals being sick and searching for the next fix everyday. I now know better than to ever get on methadone...but unfortunately i am stuck now :( I have taken klonapin for about 5 years as i suffer agoraphobia and panic attacks plus general anxiety...i am a MESS wow haha

[vicki595]

I was writing as you were, dog...There's a formula for the switch, "COWS", you guys look it up. LOL   I'm off...be well!

[gnarly_1]

HI GEE never felt so loved....lol ......well reading your post I think I can help the first part of your problem is methadone is notorious for robing your body of calcium/magnesium/and zinc all critical elements that directly effect how you feel on the stuff .....your going to have to trust me on this I did my research when I got off the stuff and this will help a lot ....go up to walmart and pick up a 3 in one calcium /magnesium/zinc supplement it 6 bucks for 250 start buy taking 4 with breakfast or in the morning if you dont eat then 4 more at dinner in a few days you will notice a big drop in the withdrawals your feeling your right at that point for a lot of people that 35 is barely enough to hold you over all day this is where the anger issues come up the vitamins will help there is also a great tea mad by a company called YAGI''Kava stress relieving tea it works great to settle the nerves almost as good as xanex but natural google it you should be able to find it local its 5bucks for 12 bags when your really stressing use 2 tea bags...like it or not your going to have to slow down your taper to let your body and serum level ketch up with your drop in dose the withdrawals will just get worst if you dont ....sometimes you just have to wait it out a few weeks for me 20mg was my brick wall it took 6 weeks to get past it but then from 20 to 10 I did in a couple of weeks I weened myself off my take homes so I had control but also suffered some heavy duty withdrawals trying to rush it this is a race one by the tortus not the hare you just got to grind along as for going to sub I have mixed feelings your introducing yourself to something you know nothing about or how your going to react at least with the methadone you know where you stand get on the vitamins tomorrow and give it about 3 days you will notices a difference I only wish I had found this sooner...lastly be pacent this stuff takes time to get off of the lower the dose the slower you go I will be happy to help you get threw this I came off a 16 1/2 yr habit with the last 6 1/2 being on 150mg of methadone if I can kick anyone can it takes perseverance and discipline what ever you do dont go back up in dose it will tell your body if it complanes it will get its way it is important to not yo/yo your dose up and down if your in withdrawals just stick it out they will pass in a few days I can not over efasize a positive attitude wile doing this I know it s u cks sometime but attitude makes all the difference your going to be uncomfortable thats a giving but you dont have to suffer thats a choice we can work together I help most of the methadoinains this stuff has its own set of rules they make a shake mix at walmart....;;;''whey protein shakes it comes in a 2lb can it will give you the amino acids and extra vitamins as well as extra protein all of witch the brain needs to heal drink 2 a day it will help with the energy crash it takes a wile to get over this 90 days in not unrealistic 60 days is the house record but she was 22 and wasnt on it long will work together to get you threw this if I can help at all message me or just post here I kinda watch for this stuff normally im on at night but I do check threw out the day also when I have time ITS NOT HOPELESS YOU CAN DO THIS and your not alone in this anymore I wish you all the best in recovery good luck and God bless.......Gnarly      

[passionplay28]

Yes! That is what i have heard...switching to suboxone could put you strait into withdrawal! Plus it is waaaay more expensive than methadone...

[vicki595]

YEAH!!    Perfect timing...we were doing our best here Mark!!   xo

[gnarly_1]

HI Vicki thanks for covering dont know what this forum would do without you love ya.....if your still struggling around 20mg switching to sub has helped some of our members get off this stuff but you got to have you dose down around 20mg for the switch to go smoothly if you go on a 90 day sub progarm you can beat the tearable withdrawals from methadone theres only one wild card some people come off sub with no problems at 2mg others take it down to crumbs and suffer threwterable withdrawals its a crap shoot you dont know till you try and get off......tapering off methadone is doable it not ez but it is doable I think once we get some vitimins in you and start you on the proten drinks you will start to do better btw the chocolate flavor is the best one but the vanilla ant to bad ether never been big on the strawberry
see how you do on that stuff the whey protein is only 15 bucks for 2lb can so its cheep  

[gnarly_1]

how long have you been taking methadone???

[passionplay28]

Gnarly, your an angel...really! Thank you so much for all the advice...i can tell just in what you say you know what your talking about mister :) This means the world to me and i will get right on top of buying the vitamins etc...again your words mean everything to me and you are my go to guy now :) he he...ill let you know how this works for me...God Bless You!

[passionplay28]

I accidentally posted the wrong best answer :( sorry i am new here. I have been on Methadone for 3 years...

[gnarly_1]

God blesses me every time I can help somebody on this forum im so happy to be part of your recovery I dont know if you believe in God or not im not here to shove him down your throat but Jesus set the captives free and theirs not much more captivating these days then addiction if you do believe pray for strength to get threw this I know I couldn't have done it without God but thats me we can talk more about this after I find out if you believe  or not your nic name lends me to believe your a believer hope you are it really dose help to pray......Gnarly

[passionplay28]

I talk to god everyday and ask him to help me get me through this...and honestly this is the worst my life has ever been. That is not to say i don't believe i just don't feel the support in the hardest time of my life...

[gnarly_1]

3 yrs is substantial .....I also wanted to tell you it wont always be this hard you go threw certain doses that are like road blocks you just cant seam to get past but once your body adjusts you will be able to move comfortably along once again right now your at a road block ....they happen but they pass to try not to get discouraged I know you just want off the stuff we all have been there but your in the last stretch you will make it and when its all said and done it is so so worth it ......I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments ....you will to
cant wait to see you free from the liquid handcuffs....................Gnarly  

[gnarly_1]

IM A man of faith I to felt abandon by God going threw this it like you could just take al this away why dont you??? but I wouldent have learned the true meaning of dileverence had I not suffered thew the withdrawals my last dose was oct 17 2009 a sat that sunday I went to church a broken man all I could do was sob uncontrollably I had had all the withdrawals I could stand and explaned to God I dident have it in me to go threw any more I expected the worst I did my research and was expecting to be throwing up runnig to the bathroom shakes chills rls the whole gaultlet of symptoms.....God spoke to me and said in his soft spoken voice ''''my grace will be sufficient for you '' you know I had some unplensent withdrawals but nothing like what I thought they would be Jesus became my deliverer that week between the people of my church praying my wife praying over me dayly often in the middle of the night God got me threw I also had the support of this forum there where a couple of guys and a few ladys thet where instrumental in helping me get off this stuff med help ROCKS

[passionplay28]

You are so right...it is one of the hardest things i will ever have to endure in my life (i hope)! I like that saying....free from the liquid handcuffs...because that is the best way to describe Methadone...you are a very wise man i am blessed to have your support! Thank you so much with all my heart ♥

[gnarly_1]

im happy to be able to help im only giving back what was so freely givin to me do you know how to message someone privatatly??? if you dont just take your curser over there name a blue box will appear go to where it SASE send a message click there if there is any thing you want to keep private

[gnarly_1]

im ez to get a hold of if you message me I will get back to you othwise im usually on between 9 and midnight mountain time im here in the southwest desert of phoenix az

[gnarly_1]

THE ONE i RECAMEND IS WHEY protein shakes .......I like it spcificly because it contains the ecential amino acids along with vitamins as well as the protein but its a cheep way of getting your amino acids its only 15 bucks for a 2lb can

[passionplay28]

I will surely message you if i have anything else to ask...thank you again! I am off to a night of tossing and turning :( Bet your glad your not me right now haha ♥

[gnarly_1]

hope you sleep well im off to bead early myself tonight got a pounding headache try to rest comfortably I wiuod tell you try some benadrill but some times that makes it worst your just going to have to experiment ....get the YOGI kava relaxing tea it really helps  

[Methsuxbad]

Hello saw your post...just wanted to say congrats on coming this far and that YOU CAN DO THIS...I too was at a clinic for over 2 years...tapered down from 70 and when I got to 20 felt all the symptoms you described. Seemed to be ok the first part of the day but evenings and nites were rough(someone suggested to split my dose maybe you could try this).  Gnarly helped me so much..do all the natural stuff he suggested maybe taking them prior to your detox will help soften the blow and try to slow your taper down I had to stay at 20 for a few weeks then 15 ect. Just know that this is possible its slow and tough but so worth it in the end...Today is 57 days clean for me and it was the best decision I could have made for myself and my children!!.Best of luck!!!  

[passionplay28]

Thank you for the support! I really feel bad all day its not one particular part of the day its just all day discomfort. Today is another one of those raging fits days where i am just so angry and want to punch a wall lol! I have a question for you...how long after getting off the methadone did you start to feel better..no chills, body aches etc..i hear it is different for everybody.

[passionplay28]

And congrats to you for 57 days i can only imagine how great you must feel...

[Methsuxbad]

sorry you're having a rough day it gets better!!! Well of couse the first 10 or so days were bad I had periods of the chills ect for the first month but they were managable...what was the toughest for me was the insomnia and lack of energy which have just gotten noticably better during the last couple of weeks.  Gnarly told me it would take 60-90 days and sunday will be 60 and though im not 100% I feel im close.  Staying busy helped(not to say it was easy) when I pushed myself to get up and just do something I didnt focus so much on all the bad, down time was hard. Try to get some exercise I know it may be the last thing you want to do but you'll be suprised at how good you feel once you get going...I jumped at 10 mgs and my withdrawls were pretty bad the lower you taper (some go to 1) it seems to help with the severity of the initial withdrawl (withdrawal)...try to get all the supplements gnarly suggested and just be patient.  It was told to me "youve got to be ok with not being ok for a while" I know it ***** now and may for sometime but just think being free from that darn clinic, all the money you'll save, being a clean and health mommy for you and the little guy, not letting a substance run your life!!!!  Be strong you can do this!!!!!!  Keep posting it really helped me through some tough times!!

[gnarly_1]

HEY Girl hows it going.....sounds like your off to a bit of a ruff day try the YAGI kava relaxing tea you can by it on line if you cant find it local but google it my regular supplyer ran out I googles it and found one across town its cheep help for your nerves post back when you have a chace.....did you get up to walmart yet?? the sooner you get those vitamins the less of all this you will feel if you just need to tapl or vent i will be on and off alll day my internet is going to go down today sometime where switching servise it will be back up tomorrow but I will stay on as long as I can good luck and God bless.......Gnarly  

[passionplay28]

I get anxious just thinking about all the suffering i will have to endure the next however many days this will take...its really frustrating! I know everyone says take it one day at a time...but that is so hard for me to do! I have not had a chance to buy the tea and vitamins yet...i am unemployed on top of everything else and so i have to wait until i have the money :(...(on unemployment atm) but it is on the top of my list for sure! Thank you again for being a support for me ♥

[gnarly_1]

we all walk a different path to break free of this stuff but its whats in your heart that will make or break you if nothing else this will teach you perseverance you got to be in it for the long haul I have herd many a story of how hard this is to do......when its al said and done it will be one of your greatest accomplishments of life however many twists and truns it takes just know your on the right path and its ok to scream at God he's a big God and understands fro he was the one that gave use human emotion in the first place.......try not to get discouraged keep putting one foot in front of the other and sooner or ater this stuff wont have its fangs in you anymore good luck and God bless........Gnarly