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Most mentally challenging thing I've endured

Hey everyone, been reading and trying to gauge some sort of time frame for a few withdrawls of Demerol, Percs and Hydrocodones...... Six months ago I started these with a prescription. I never really took X amount of pills daily. It always varied and some days nothing. Well, with my wifes help I quit cold turkey 5 days ago. I feel like days 3 and 4 were better than today. The only things that are bothering me is the lack of sleep and elevated heart rate. The chills/sweat I can deal with. Sleep and heart rate worry me. My Doc knows and knows I'm a stern S O B. He's just ask that I text him updates. I thought I would do okay after "only" six months. Bwahahahaha! I was stupid. I have a small son that I still devote time to everyday through this process. I still work my full-time job while going through this as well. It keeps me active. Today is the first day I noticed muscle soreness. Maybe because I was less busy today? Lots of walking and using of the muscles in my job. I lost 20lbs in these six months too. I am taking a multi-vitamin, fish oil, B-6 and drinking enough water, Gatorade and Cran-Grape(for the vitamin C) to have peed 13 times in 9 hours. I did however take a phenergan 25 last night to sleep. Made for a rough first half the day. Tonight is an OTC sleep aid night!  Never took benzo's for long times. They do nothing great for me. Yet, I did take a Soma today for the muscle soreness. They do not make me sleepy in the least.
I really just wanted to give some background and ask, what am I looking at time wise for improvements in sleep and Heart Rate? I was originally trying these to stop my Migraines which don't seem to respond to Triptans(sp)? I have found its easier to handle repeated headache pain than go through this nightmare. I have an excellent support system including my wife, brother and sister. I read everyones story and say DAMN! How did we all get here? Thankfully, I'm at six months. It was my idea to trash the sh!t and go cold turkey as I will not forget this too soon by going this route.
Thanks everyone
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Avatar universal
Well today is Day 2 and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I'm gonna prepare for tomorrow and Sunday since the worst is yet to come. Luckily it's the weekend and no work. Wish me luck.
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Avatar universal
First off, post anytime you feel the urge. It helps to talk it out. I was good after the first week. All that has lingered is the elevated heart rate and insomnia. Cycling, thats just my thing. I needed to do someting for me. What are your interests? Anything! Anything at all that you like, you need to do. I also watch a lot of comedies. Laughter is powerful.
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Avatar universal
Wow, I know for sure during my last WD I was cold cold cold. My body temp was way too low too. For you to be cycling in that kind of weather in the first week sounds unbelievable. I'll try not to post anymore after this for today, but what can I expect after 1 week? My biggest worry is behaving irratable around my family when they come back next week. The physical symptoms I can deal with but the mental stage for next week is my biggest issue. If it's bad news it's bad news, I just need to prepare.

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Avatar universal
First off, that is an excellent start. Do what you need to, to get through this. Consider it the flu or whatever. Set a goal for 2 weeks. May in my opinion is long time to come. I cycled 19 miles on my 8th day of withdrawal. In 47* and misty rain at that. Days 3, 4 and 6 were horrendous for me. Three days out of 19 is a success in my book. I still have sleep issues but, I'm functioning well during the day. I have come to accept that natural sleep will return when it decides to. I'm not going to dwell on it and create more anxiety issues. You will be closer to normal and probably feel really good by your projected date. Full recovery? I have no idea. Every occurence is individual. Again, great start!
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Avatar universal
I appreciate the reply man,
Well its 6:30 am now and the last time I had vic's was 24hrs ago (took two pills). I actually feel good considering the past few weeks I only needed them to get up and go to work in the mornings, but I don't want to get my hopes ups just yet.

See that's the thing, I've been taking pills off on and on for years and only about 2 or 3 times I recall having these serious WD symptoms and I thought nothing of it, thought it was just a flu and got through it. The anxiety and depression at the time I thought was due to things like work or just the daily things in life that **** you off. They say ignorance is bliss and I'm not sure if its better knowing that these symptoms are from the pills or just thinking its a flu. Knowing and expecting that these symptoms will come due to the pills is scaring me. At least I'm prepared this time. Maybe its better knowing. I just finished talking to my son on the phone and instead of depressing me like I thought it would, it cheered me up and gave me hope to stick through this.

BTW I'm flushing out my supply, my connections, everything. Looking back at my life I can see I really didn't need the pills to enhance my life coz it was even perfect when I didn't have them. May 5 is my wife's birthday. Is it safe to set a goal for May and say I'll be my normal self again by then? Can't wait till May :)
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Avatar universal
Hey JonJon! Hang in there man. My opinion after what I went through and that I happen to be in general good health is this.......
No taper, flush what you have and cut yourself from your sources. This 2 weeks is enough time for you to get through the withdrawals. After that, when you're having sleepless nights, just explain to your wife you're having a bout of insomnia that you are positive will go away. Telling people is a catalyst to recovery. What I'm saying is it creates an awareness to those that love you and want to help. I'm not sure of your fears of keeping it secret but, to succeed you need to talk. If you're like most of us, this started for legitimate reasons and progressed to something else. It happens, sh!t happens daily! Its really very easy to comeback. You just have to commit yourself to the task. I'm in and out of this forum. At least once daily. You can hit me up if you need something. I can't even remember what day I'm on. Its in my tracker but, I no longer pay attention to that. I smile and laugh most days, my wife, son and I went for a walk last night. I worked all day, went for the walk and then push mowed my yard. I have energy and its au natural! I think I'm on day 19.?. When you're going through withdrawals you have to remind yourself that it only gets better.
Please do not be fooled by me either. I haven't had any pain that has warranted a need for narcotics. That will be the real test. Dentist or Doctor, I feel right now I can refuse and use a high dose ibuprofen. Have to wait and see. The good part about telling my wife in all this is, when the occasion arises.........she is the clarity to remind me if I've forgotten the horrendous withdrawals. This is one situation describing why you need to tell someone. Noone can do EVERYTHING alone. Sometimes the voice of reason, resides in another persons head.
No matter what, I and many others are here to help you along the way. Do not be discouraged! This can and has been done. Even by you many times over. Get started my man, we're here to help.
Life is a garden, dig it! You can't enjoy life, family or all  the joys of these two things while sitting on the couch nodding in and out. Pain is easier off these lil devils.
Today is a good day to start. Tomorrow is no better than today. If you want my personal timeline of what days were worst and days that were amazingly better to get you going, say the word. You're going to have good and very very bad before you ever see a great day. However, all days off the pills are wonderful.
I'm here for words of encouragement. Finding this forum means you know what needs to be done.
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Avatar universal
Hi Poochie, and everyone else.

I've been reading tons of posts and luckily found yours and found your situation to be close to mines. I too have a son that my wife had when I met her, yet I love him as my own and he sees me as his only father considering he's never met his real father. Anyhow, long story short, I have an extreme history of addiction with meds dating far back as 2000 on and off. It's never gotten this bad though, the last couple months I realized I can't control it this time. I only started hitting the meds hard this time because my mom died of cancer this past Dec, on Christmas day of all days... yeah.

So around January, after I ran out of a bottle of 90 pills of morphine and a few vicodin left, I didn't think nothing of it. I went through the WD and thought it was from the weather (flu). I started reading up on the internet and just woke up and realized... sh*t I'm addicted. It explained alot with my 10 year history with opiates and all that time I thought the side effects were from a flu or whatever.

Well now that I'm in the know, prepared or whatnot... I'm scared to death. My wife and son are out of the country for 2 weeks on Vacation. They'll be back April 3. My intention was to taper down and utilize this 2 weeks to come off. BTW my wife has no clue what's going on. I've been reading this forum all friggin day for tips, advice, and just plain HOPE.

I really intended to make this comment short but what I'm really asking for is incouragement, coaching. I hate to be a bother on anyone but I just thought it'd be nice to get some advice or encouraging words from you Pooch since I can relate to you more. I'm feeling alone here. I know you mentioned I shouldn't keep it a secret. I'd really like to continue hiding it but if worst comes to worst I'll tell her, but I really would rather not. I dunno man.

I'm the luckiest man on earth. That I can absolutely vouch for. I just need to keep telling myself this and stick it through. lol damn and I'm not even on day 1. Ok enough, I'll stop. cya
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Avatar universal
Hey Hey Hey! Whats shakin' everyone? Day 11 and I am on cruise control. Heart rate is still elevated and sleep seems to be an elusive creature HOWEVER, I feel incredibly better! I actually suggested to my wife that we goto Bed Bath and Beyond the other night........ Craziness! Thats not something I normally enjoy, especially after work. I was just laying around doing bare minimum around the house previously. I may go home and clean out my shed today. I worked after work on a side job yesterday.....Who doesn't like additional funds? I think I'm going to go pick up my son and chase his lil *** around the yard tonight too. I have more energy with the lack of sleep than I had willingness to do anything constructive on the pills. Those of you suffering, keep pressing forward and follow me to this side! Its a lot of fun over here. I'm laughing all the time again. My wife says I am getting back to being the smartass she remembers. Its a trait I like and plan on keeping. I took the road bike out this past Sunday, I think I'm going to get the Mountan Bike cleaned up and ready to ride very soon. I still need to grab one of those trailers for my bike and tote my son around the neighborhood. Got Damn! I feel good. I have only used the Lorazepam a few times to calm me so, maybe I'll see if that calms me enough to sleep tonight. That is if and only if I don't feel tired after doing things around the house and chasing the lil man around. Hell, I think I'm going to grab some burgers from the store and cook on the grill! Oh man, a juicey, lean burger with lettuce, tomato and dill pickles. I just had lunch an hour ago and making myself hungry. Who's with me? Who wants some of this energy? I'm giving it away! No worries, I have a metabolism like no other!
I can't stop for long so just checking in with you peeps!
Here is some advice before I leave
1)Keep fighting the good fight    
2)Don't poke bears with sticks! If you find that you need to, make it a long stick!
3)Try to never frown, as you never know who may be falling in love with your smile!
Helpful - 0
699217 tn?1323438700
wow!  you are doing great!  wish i coulda felt that good on my 8th day lol....You have an amazing outlook on life, and I commend you for being so strong and such a loving man to your family!!  Be proud, remember it only gets better & better!!!  and watch out lol, food will begin to smell, look and taste really really good again lol...great work!  keep posting, i liked reading your accomplishments!!!  God Bless all of you :)
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Avatar universal
Ok, Boys n' Girls! I just got back from my cycle ride! I rocked that sh!t! I rode 19 miles in misty rain with lots of up hills. Completed in about an hour. Life after narcotics is living. I was alive, muscles working, mind thinking, navigating the hills and turns and just plain enjoying the crappy weather. I did this in my 8th day of Cold Turkey withdrawals! I've been able to chase my son around the house and tickle him, my wife is so happy with my accomplishment. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning but, once I'm up. Get the hell outta my way. I got stuff to do and time to catch up on. I'm getting back to who I was already. F, F a narcotic pain killer. I run this show and I don't need you for anything.
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Avatar universal
Wow...sounds like you are doing great, and have such a good attitude. Be very proud of yourself. And enjoy your ride tomorrow.
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Avatar universal
I feel great this morning. My energy level fizzled fast but, I made eggs, bacon and chocolate chip pancakes for everyone this morning. I also talked to my Pops and let him in on what has happen. Well, its a trait I inherited from him! He was honest with me and filled me in. He says he's proud. It ***** that he called about helping my sister move. I just don't have that energy. I will soon though. See, I have so much to live for. I have no problems with sobriety. Its a good thing. I also must say that my "not so son, son" is here. I was previously married and my wife had a child with someone else during. Its no big deal now. We all get along and the lil fella comes to visit me every other Friday or Saturday night. I have been a complete fool and owe people a huge thanks. My friends and family look at me no different and that is a weight off my back. They know that I'm a different breed of person. I make/change the rules! I'm the one they call for support and advice. Anyway, I'm going to continue down this path and continue to prove it can be done. It was by far the most difficult thing to go through but, I F'ing did and am doing it. To middle fingers up, to addiction and dependence!

My other son just handed me a cartoon book he drew! That kicks ***!
Damn I'm feeling good. The difference is unreal. A full week ago, I was a mess in the (haven't told you guys this but) ER because I had taken too many meds to get rid of a headache. The nurse said, "this is not unusual sweetheart but, please think about what you are doing. You have to be careful of these meds. There is more than death possible and those things like liver and kidney failure are much worse than death" I would actually like to go back in there and tell her thank you. She put it bluntly and I listened. I am nearly at the point that this was a bad dream. I still have my 19 mile cycle ride planned tomorrow, I'll let you guys know how that goes.
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Avatar universal
Poochie...You are a wonderful person and so right.We teach by example and can not be dishonest with ourselves and others.When I decided to stop there was no tomorrow...I fizzed my stash in javex that day and started on my adventure.I remember the detox and thought to myself"this is what it is like to be Jonesing".I got through withdrawals and they taught me a lesson.Drugs do this to you.
I knew from my studies,but now the experience was personal.
I drew from that and have a real understanding of drug addiction and detox and have more empathy with others pain.
At the same time..I sometimes have a little disappointment with others because you know its the old statement"If I can do it anyone can"
I do realize that everyone is not the same as me and have great empathy for other addicts and wish to help everyone
If I did not I would not be on this forum.
do it...anyone can"
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Avatar universal
Hey Poochie~~~You sound good!    :)

Vicki  xo
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Avatar universal
I agree. You really need to tell him. My wife was surprised and angry for about 5 minutes. She much rather help me through this than to find that I was having an affair. Though I could never have an affair, just too wrong. Anyway, the time has come right now. You need to let your husband know and let the kids know you have a bad case of the flu. I cannot find any excuse for waiting one, single,solitary day longer to get started. The day you choose will not be any easier than right now. I will be back to check on everyone but, I will not be back to discuss relapse. My wife by my side, we will always tell the Docs in my future as to what happen. I will never hide this as I'm not ashamed any more, only proud of my accomplishment. Its a feat that is difficult but so is raising my son to be a honorable, respectable man. How can I do that if I'm not one myself? The time is now, the place is here! Do this and get your life back. This is my day 7 morning. Lorazepam and phenergan let me sleep about 4 then 2 more hours last night. Haven'y had that since Sunday.......It was vedy, vedy nice! My 1 1/2 year old son was crawling in the bed touching and saying eyes, nose, belly button. This is the important sh!t! Be brave and follow us through that dark tunnel towards the light at the end...........there is nothing to be scared of. Get your Doc in on this. Hopefully he/she is as good as mine. If not, and also.......we are always here.
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1110177 tn?1268461548
First...you need to tell your husband.  The lying and secrets just keep you sick.  You will probably be pleasantly surprised by his reaction.  Even if it is a little harsh...it will be much better than for him to find out another way.  I found that out the hard way...I lied to my wife for years and was left to do this alone.  He will be able to help you and the challenges you will face over this period.

Second...attack this with everything you have.  Research amino acid protocol, vitamins, exercise, etc.  The more you do, the better you will feel.  Your body and mind need to be "jump started"...even though you will feel like doing nothing.

Third...you will get past this...and life on the other end is wonderful.  Yes, it has it's up and downs...but it is real and it can be amazing at times.

Keep posting, reading and checking in.  There are some wonderful people on this site...and we all love reading success stories.


As I always like to say..."Come and Play!"


~ Free
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Avatar universal
I am going to start my cold turkey detox soon from vicodin 5/500 approximately 6 pills a day.  I am scared.  I have a wonderful husband, but I do not want to tell him.  I also have 4 children with exhausting schedules.  It is going to be so hard to keep up.  I have been reading the posts, and am inspired by both of your comments.  Taking a week off work is doable for me as I am only part time, but I will have to schedule it.  I will crave the vicodin a again when I am exhausted the next day after work, and have to take care of the kids.  This is the scariest part for me.  The wd is just a challenge that I WILL make it through if I don't work during this time, and I can post for encouragement.  Please help me.  I have not set a date yet.    
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Avatar universal
Sounds like you and I are in the same situation...sneezing and all! You are a day ahead of me...and it sounds like you're doing an amazing job. I've had the beating heart and sneezing as well and am definitely looking forward to them both ending. But dont' you just feel so much better about yourself at this point? Keep up the good job.
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Avatar universal
I do have a night guard that I've been wearing again. My headaches are tripped around variances in barometric pressure. My original GP who I went to see today doesn't believe they are migraines. However, my Neurologist does. Anyway, for now I'm sticking with the GP's word and give it a few more days. He said "Take it easy, calm down, you're going to fine despite what you feel right now. Your healthy as sh!t, drop the narcotics!" I can't see him again until I see a psychiatrist and I'll see my Neuro at my cycle ride Sunday. I'll fill him in. He isn't too worried about me since I'm hard headed and full of life when I'm not on pills! I was even scared to take the lorazepam until he said "do what I tell you, it will make the rest easier". Tylenol, advil, all that stuff is not being taken through this process. I'm taking hot detox sweat baths with baking soda and epsom salt. I'm still peeing all the time too. I want this crap outta my system!
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Avatar universal
PS don't ever start on tramadol either.It is a lot more addicting than stated.
See you all later.Got to go to work.
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Avatar universal
Do you grind or clench your teeth a lot because that can cause headaches.Perhaps a mouthguard at night and try to not clench your teeth while awake.
Vicki..I Think he said that triptans did not help..That is why they are probably not migraines but tension headaches.
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Avatar universal
As I said, he's a great Doc. Now I'm convinced!    As far as the headaches go...
there are so many different types of headaches and causes it's tough to get to the root. Yes,a psych might be of help,I don't really know. Only you know. You have to ask yourself a lot of questions about the headaches: Do you wake up with them? Do they follow a stressful day? Large meal? Anger?  Etc..  I kept track in a notebook so I could try to find a trend. Migraines are what got me into my addiction as well.  The drug I took was Fioricet. I was horribly addicted to it for many years and it was horrible to get off of. It has to be tapered. Don't let anyone give it to you...ever!! But,I digress(love that word).  Anyway,the psychiatrist is worth a shot.       Also,you probably have headaches now during this process. They are rebound headaches.
Take a little Tylenol for those. Remember,you're detoxing from Tylenol also.

Yes,you ARE getting there.  Why can't you take Triptans?

Vicki
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Avatar universal
Ahhhh! Thats why! I was hoping to be nearly done. Doc said give it upto another week but, it may be just 3-4 more days. He is a good guy but, he said after what I've done he will not see me again after today until I show him I'm seeing a psychiatrist. This Doc believes the root of my constant debilitating headaches is worry and anxiety. He's glad I'm honest with him as that way he can tell me what to do and fix it. I felt ashamed. He said "don't beat yourself up, sh!t happens when you go to slack Docs. Its our job to keep you outta this mess" and "you're going to be fine, I promise. Just takes time. Took time to happen, takes time to fix it but, at least you're doing it!"
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Avatar universal
Because you're really not that far along yet...that's why you felt that way all of a sudden.   6 days of cold turkey is great BUT it's only 6 days of being clean.  Feelings are all over the place,brain is rapid firing,anxiety is floating just under the surface...
It sounds like a panic/anxiety attack to me. They're very common. The meds will help
(You have a great Doc) and now that you know about this symptom you'll know how to handle it in the future.  They are creepy but they pass.

Your attitude is wonderful...

Vicki
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