Motivation

[Twist00]

So my with drawls are over and gone for the most part, even the back pain I was having. I am 16 days clean, and to me it was no big deal, I said I was stopping, so I stopped. Mind over matter, easy. However I do remember BEFORE taking Opiates I was always athletic, and fit, however I would get extremely lazy (not leave the house for 2-4 days) I don't own a car, which could contribute, but even if I did, I have no friends so yeah.

My question is, I am finding that I have a lack of motivation to do anything. I've been taking hoards of vitamins, I've done small things to keep me happy, I exercise probably more than most people, because I kick box 4 days a week, have since I was 8. That's not my issue at all...so do I need to be on anit depressants? I tried some crap called Lexapro once in the past, and all that did was take away my sex drive.

I don't do NA meetings and what not, because 1. I am not religious, and don't have time to hear that stuff, and 2. My mental state is FINE. I am just BORED, I am LONELY, and I just have no direction right now. I have been using Lorazapam (1-2 0.5 a day) to try and keep my ..."anxious frustration" down, but in all honesty...I don't feel anything from those. I don't smoke weed, so please, don't even suggest it. However I have heard more good about Kratom than I have bad, so that may be something I'd try. I suppose is what I am asking, does anyone know of any mood enhancers? I have tried Sam-E, I have tried B-Complex, and I also tried lots of Omega-3.

I may go to the doctor and see what I can scoop up to help me out, but does anyone have any suggestions on what to try...or to stay away from, etc. Would rather not go back to poppin' pills just for a boost, but I have an event coming up in the next week or two that I am going to HAVE to be there for, and not be a wreck. Thanks.

[gnarly_1]

HI well there yous to be a saying on this forum that has all but vanised it was give yourself 90 days b/4 making any life changing disions....with this said i would include medacation or self medacation your brain needs to adjust to life without outside stimuilation...exersize is great  the ecential amino acids are great give yourself brain food the opiets rob us of that you may need to increase them to get back to what you may call ''normal'' to me you need to find out what drives you to drugs in the first plase  bordome seldom counts  its what you where thinking about wile board im consired with  I realize N/A ant for everybody but give it a try for 3 meetings b/4 you decide your not an addict   if not time will tell  you may find yourself right back here sooner or later fighting the same battle or worst a bigger and worst habit to break  i wish you all the luck in the world and only hope the addict in you dosent resurface but for most of us with major clean time it takes work God bless.......Gnarly.....................

[Twist00]

Thanks for commenting, I will keep it all in mind.

[On2better]

Twist, as an addict, I totally understand the boredom. I always wanted something MORE, something to make me happy, give me energy, give me that edge, that extra SOMETHING! It is why I used opiates. Every time I needed that extra "something" I would use. Unfortunately those needs became more and more frequent, and I became less in control of my own life. Im now learning that life doesnt always keep us entertained, there are stagnant times, depressing times, angry times, anxious times, and thats ok. Personally, those are the times I go to NA or at least pick up the phone and call another addict in recovery. It's absolutely great that you have 16 days under your belt, but you're only kidding yourself if you think you can continue this on your own. Some counseling might really help. And NA is not a religious program,. It's also a great place to meet other people who think like you. Believe me, it's a huge help. We are different people with different backgrounds, but all of us addicts have the same thinking, and have felt that emptiness that you describe. Anyways, maybe I'm rambling. I just hope that you can continue on your journey without substituting another SOMETHING. Keep it simple and look within yourself. You might be surprised at what you find.

[Twist00]

Thanks Vic, I have not heard about trying the aminos, I will. <3

[VICourageous]

Hi..I just wanted to put my 2 cents in..The no energy and no motivation seems to be one of the last in this process.Because there is alot of Nero-transmitter that get unbalanced besides what Little said I wanted to add the Gabba, Serotonin,there are billions of specialized cells too besides the Endorphins and Dopamine..I was told this can take quite a while to balance back..The above gave you good things to try also consider the amino-acids too..If it does go on for a long time then I would see a DR..Give your brain time to balance back..OK For me because of my long term drug use, I was told a year.Good Job and I am sure you will bounce back quick. You are doing some good things to get there.
Bless

[Twist00]

Ok, well thank you guys. I did know how they replaced my natural opiates, but still always interesting to hear. One of my big issues is that I've always lived a hard life. Not that it was difficult, but that I always filled my time with drinking, drugs or something, I'm the kind of girl who ALWAYS needs something to chew on (was going to say in my mouth haha PERV) or whatever.

I am not straight edge by any means, I believe in living fast...I probably listened to too much "The Doors" and "Pink Floyd" as a younglin, but that life style has just ALWAYS been around, I guess that rocker life?

So more than just needing the drugs, and such...I am just BORED, so bored. I enjoy writing music, and I play guitar a lot, as I mentioned I kick box, but I just don't feel passion in it without drugs. I am just being a cynic so I am sorry for that.

I am SO grateful for anyones support WHO woulda thought anyone would care about ME? Geez, thanks everyone, and feel free to bog down my inbox if you need a friend, because I sure do need friends, and PJ, yes I remember our talk =) and you know how I feel about life, but thank you. I may just pass the Kratom.

THANKS EVERYONE. <33333333333333333333333

[ang_811]

B vitamins helped me. Getting outside in the sun n getting sum vitamin d helped also. I know this is the last thing on ur mind but exercise will give ya sum good energy throughout the day.

It will slowly come back. Just give time, time

Congrats on ur clean time!! :)

- stronger than yesterday

[ariley13]

Hi! I totally agree with everyone above. Please try not to add a new substance. Things will improve, it just takes a little time. Try to be patient and hang in there. Take care of yourself and remember you are not alone... we are all here for you. :)

[ricart70]

Yeah  ....what pj   said   ;)

[Pjtwenty]

STAY away from kratom. I went straight from opiates to kratom. Was on kratom for 16 months until one day the kratom turned on me causing insane anxiety, depression, paranoia. Granted I was abusing kratom but that's what we do, we abuse. You will read that kratom is not addictive, there are no withdrawals, that is bull....!  I'd say the wds are very similar to opiates but mentally tough. Read some of my early post and see how I was.
Ultimately you can do what you want, but I strongly urge you not too go the kratom route.
I really think therapy for you would be good. I know your opinions but you have to dig deeper and find out what's keeping you not happy. Maybe an antidepressant will work. Find a doctor, herbalist, chiropractor, witch doctor, shaman, woody woodpecker anything but another substance like kratom that will give you false happiness.

[ricart70]

I meant if you just started taking the ativan. If you have been taking them long term then consult your doctor before quitting.   Hang in there  

[ricart70]

Great job on your 16 days. Awesome that you kick box. Like littlebit said.we need a month or so for our brain chemistry to return to normal. At 16 days you are still not there yet.  No way would I try to start taking anything else right now. That is kind of the problem in itself. We have to find other ways to feel better. Also I think that the ativan could also be working against you here.
Lorazepam is not in any way a motivational drug. I would drop them and use your exercise to deal with the nerves.

[littlebit667]

and leave the Kratom alone!  Let your body heal itself....

[littlebit667]

Time is your best friend here.  Opiates mess with the brain and the brain is stubborn and pissed it has to work harder now.  This post (not mine) helped me a lot when I was trying to understand why I was not immediately "better".  Congrats on getting clean.best choice you will ever make!

Just remember that even though it says a year..I promise after a month you should see a big difference.  

Here is the post:

You have to remember how opiates work, and why you feel depressed etc. when you quit taking them and after you are over the withdrawals and often why we keep craving long after the physical withdrawals are over.

Opiates bound to the opioid receptors in your brain and body. They release their artificial endorphins to them, and block the bodies natural endorphins. After a while the neurons that produce the body's natural endorphins disappear. There is no need for them so they just don't rejuvenate like they would normally.

When you stop taking the opiates,  they leave your opioid receptors bare, and they are calling out for your body's natural endorphins, but there isn't any there at first. You body has to repopulate the neurons that make them, and this takes time.

Endorphins like dopamine  control your moods, anxiety, sadness, anger, happiness, pain etc.

You will slowly get your "old self" back as these neurons repopulate and begin increasing their endorphins production. After being off the opiates for a month, they should be about 45-50% of normal, and be back to normal within a year.
So hang in there, you will feel better and better as the months roll by.

Try keep busy and keep your mind focused on positive things instead of dwelling on the depression, anxiety, etc. that are only temporary and will disappear as your endorphins return to normal.