My Methadone Nightmare

[bodybuilder1]

Hi, I'm a 32yr old bodybuilder from England. I've been taking opiates for 10yrs initially for joint problems but I was soon shooting hugh quantities of morphine and oxy up to 600mg  of morphine in 1 syringe. I came clean to my doc and he put me on a reducing dose of methadone. I'm now on 120mg and desperate to get off. Even though I'm this big 250lb bodybuilder I feel so weak and feeble and often think about just ending it all. You guys are such an inspiration but I just feel I have no one to turn to {I have no family). Oh well thank you for listening. -Graeme

[orangefyre]

Ramble on, dude. Talking it through will help you greatly.

You are coming off of one of the worse drugs known to come off of...so called experts say it cannot be done...I personally do NOT feel your doctor did you any favors by putting you on Methadone, but who am I. I have heard stories about one being harder than the other, who really knows unless you've gone cold turkey off of each, and in different combinations. That, to me, sounds like a lifetime of torture. NO THANK YOU!!!

So, basically a little white pill has brought the big boy down, right? Your physical strength has nothing to do with it. I know that is embedded in your brain from your training, but just hang that up for now. You need to be mentally strong for this part. That's the tough part for everyone. See, we all have lives, children, husbands, homes to clean, jobs to go to and support all the other things. And sometimes relying on other people to support you means they will eventually let you down somewhere along the line, they may be busy, have other things that need to get done, not that they do it intentionally, still it happens. But, not on here...There are so many of us, if one falls off, another will pick up the slack. We got you totally covered here, no matter what hour it is, there is always someone available.

You are as mentally strong as you are physically strong, cause what you have attained with you body, you had to start with your mind first. Remember when the little guy first picked up the weights? That was ALL MENTAL. Once you reached your current bulk, maybe you switched things to the physical sense. Time to exercise your brain again, get the mental juices flowing. You are strong enough to beat this, you can beat anything. You HAVE TO WANT IT.

I will be here for you on and off over this day and after work on Monday.

If you need to reach me when I'm not on the forum, email me ***@****

Lisa

[hopeful mom]

In order to bodybuild you have to have disapline, motivation, stamina, etc.  Now you have to use those tools for getting off the drug.  I'm glad you came clean with you doctor. I am not an addict but my daughter is a heroine addict.  There are alot of people here that do care about you and can help you in your struggle with detox. You have realized that you have a problem to fix, that is the first and biggest step to the road to recovery. When your in  withdrawel any person feels lousy and depressed. You are not alone in that. Hang on. You will get your strength back. Stay focused and strong. Post when you have questions or need support.

[oneway]

People have heard my stoey a million times on here but I'm going to tell u I was a national winner in martial arts. I ruined that buy turning my life to heroin. I got cold turkey off of heroin and stayed clean for 3 years. I ended up gettin involved in crime and made 500g's a year.since I was making so much money I started to shoot ocs. My habbit got up to 20 80mg a day. I was shooting 4 80 mg in one needle. 1 year later I sold all 3 50g cars of mine went into a 70grand debt with organized crime dude and got into beef with someone that put a hit out on my life. I had someone control all my finances and now I have been clean 25 days with one relapse in that time. Today was the first day I could even clean my house. I really thought I was going to die  for the first 7 days. If yout going cold turkey try thr thomas recipe. I would try to ween the dose a little bit first but that is hell when your shooting. I lowered my dose a little because when I tried to ct it on 1600 mg a day I think I wouldn't be here. My life is a complete mess and I have a feelin that I am on borrowed time because of the hit on me but at least I can be clean before the lights go out by the way I also was on anadrals,dura,enathate, and eq and that made my wd worse. I pray all the time that a miracle will happen but my mood is darkening as I get sober. If you have any question feel free to ask me.

[oneway]

Oh I missed that you were on methadone. Wow that is the hardest drug to come off. My friend came off it with a taper with relatively low discomfort. He told me the key was to go super slow especially when you start gettin to 60 mgs if you like I will get his taper schedule for you. Just ask me I'm here to help. Please I've been at that point of wanting to end it but u gotta remember all that depression is the drugs and if u end it then you are giving into weakness and letting the meth win. Even their is a hit out on my life and their is a good possibility I will be killed sometime this year I refuse to give up on trying to be clean. Believe in yourself. One thing is being strong with your body another thing is being strong with your mind. Where the mind goes the body follows. Dorian Yates, Lee Haney, Flex Wheeler. Ronnie Coleman are the greatest of all time. Arnie can hold their gym bags since sergio olivia was better lol!

[chemmonster7]

Methadone is hard to come off it wont be easy I quit c/t more than 3mnths ago, but , I was at 350milsgrms aday not suppossed to do it that way I was out onmethadone because of my 50-60 a day pill addiction went through hard core w/d for 7-8wks and still have issue w/ energy and my moods really suck, like oneway moods are dark and you think of some crazy ****! I am not the only one on or coming off methadone on here support is here if you want it

[bodybuilder1]

Thank you so much for replying. Things have improved somewhat 3 have gone from using 280 80mg oxys and 560 30mg mscontin per for

tnight to only 120mg of methadone per day. I used to pick up my meth weekly from the pharmacist but since I tended to use it all in one go I now have to pick it up daily. It's just so hard to stick to a taper when all your waking hours are spent wishing you had more drugs so you could get high and block out all the emotional pain. As you can imagine oneway I'm no strainger to anabolics, GH, IGF1, insulin etc I still use about 1000mg of Sustanon a week cos old habbits die hard. I would be forever in your debt if you could send me that taper you mentioned. May god bless you all for you support and kindness. Thank you all so much. Graeme

[bodybuilder1]

On a lighter note Sergio was far superior to Arnold but could Arnies Weider contract have something to do with his 7 Mr Os? per chance. BTW  since I live in the UK I have met Dorian several times and he is a great guy. I myself have won several national shows in the UK but that was before the s##t took over. I still stay in shape and dream of a comback one day. My problem is I live alone have no family and few friwnds I could talk to which is why I sometimes get do dispondant and think of doing something silly. I'm so sorry for rambling and wasting everyones time and I appologise for that. Love Graeme.

[chemmonster7]

Yes the first hting my clinic told me is it cant be done I will die trying but here i am 3mnths and some odd days later, still dont feel that well but working on lots of support on here I believe i hav emade some good friends post me if need anything!!!

[orangefyre]

Personally, I consider ANYONE on this forum a FRIEND. They are always here for me, and even if I'm busy I do my very best to be here for them. I don't always do so well. But I try. I'm clean 1 month in 3 days now, and all is well. I do have good days and bad days too, but that human nature. That's something I would have just taken a pill to mask...not no more....

Lisa

[rsd_al]

Hey bro! Used to powerlift for 10 years, until the doc made an oops and nearly killed me. Was up to 250 lbs, but now weigh in at 198. wasnt into it for the competition, even though I did compete in martial arts when I was a kid. Martial arts is what got me into tryin to be in top shape! all I have now is table muscle! Dont even look good anymore at all. Aint even got a shape to speak of LOL.



Amazing how life can turn on a dime. Arnie is our govenator, cant believe the big lug ever was champion of anything LOL. Everyone follows him around like he is some kind of super hero, kinda makes me sick!



Admire you for wanting to make a change, and coming clean with your doc, that took some serious guts. Pullin for ya man.



Know that you can do it, and work it like when you were tryin to add more weight. Remember the thoughts you had, and how focused you were when you wanted to be able to press 500lbs? Use that same determination, and you can beat anything down!!



Allen

[bodybuilder1]

I'm absolutely overwhelmed by the response to my post. You see I've carried this problem around with me for 10 years and not been able to tell a soul. I only told my doc cos he was threatening to kick me out of his practice. All my bodybuilder friends would just laugh at me for being so weak. I spent 3 years at medical school in Manchester, England so I have some knowledge of the drugs and what I need to do to get off. I know that with Methadone's long half life a long slow taper is in order but every time I start this, the moment I get my hands on more meth I down it all in an attempt to get high and ruin the taper. For a man who can benchpress over 550lbs I have the strength of will of a 5yr old in a sweet shop when the shopkeeper isn't looking! When I read posts about how some of you guys beat your problems I am full of admiration for you. Most of you are maybe half the size I am but you are twice the person. BTW I have experienced meth withdrawls many times when I have run out and although they are not as acute as morphine or oxy they are much more severe due to the fact that they never seem to end! My doc is talking about trying subutex but I will need to get to a lower meth dose first. God bless you all and I thank you with all my heart for taking the time out of your busy days to read my ramblings. You are all to kind. Graeme.