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My Story....Part 2
If you have not read Part 1, please do so first so this post makes sense. thanks again!
Fast forward to 2015, I'm down to like $10k. Now I am up to 1.5 grams every two days. Yep, that's right! A gram is equal to roughly 800mg of oxycodone. I've never been great with numbers but I have these numbers down! Another $5k gone. It's now March 1, 2015. I can't explain what exactly happened but I was very depressed. I just hit a place and I wasn't willing to go any further. I took the next week and tapered down to .3g a day. March 8-11 were some of the worst, darkest days of my life. I was going absolutely crazy but I mentally prepared and bought all the right stuff, the magnesium, OJ, bananas, L-tyrosine, b6, b12, ascorbic acid (pure vitamin c), heating pad, ice packs, other soft foods, soups, salads, NyQuil, and a bunch of other stuff. Even after all of that, NOTHING could of prepared me for those first three days. It is just something you need to go through. Can you take suboxone? Sure but I wouldn't recommend it because it just prolongs the process. Look at it as "doing the time" for punishing your body. Remember every ache, the pounds of sweat, the chills, all the stomach stuff, remember it and realize that you did this to yourself. I couldn't even look in a mirror until day three was over! I probably took 30 showers/baths in hose three days. I also took 20 minute walks even though I didn't feel like it.
Where am I today? I have been clean since March 7, so that's 20-21 days. I know it's not a lot but I finally feel like myself this week. The first week is rough, but the first 72 hours are the hardest. For me, day 4-12 was a roller coaster ride. You have to remember, I was numb for almost nine years. I found myself watching 'Chick Flicks' and SOBBING at the end of them. I am very passionate but not very emotional at all. I guess my emotions were tired of holding back. Lol. I'd cry and the stupidest things. What helped me the most was exercise, eating right and talking to friends. I have only told a few people about my issues with drugs but you need someone. For some it's AA or NA, some is family and friends, and some use groups online like this one. I would say that you need at least one of these methods, and probably all three if you can.
I'm sure I will still have some bad days but my cravings are way down due to proper diet/supplementation and exercise. Also, MUSIC IS AMAZING! Anything that gets you moving. I used to only listen to talk radio (I'm a total political junkie as well) but I have my playlists and NOTHING gets me moving like music. After working our I have more energy than I can even explain. The natural endorphin high is 10 times that of a drug high. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true for me. It's nice to FEEL again. It's nice to have a sex drive, totally forgot what part that played in life. Lol. The drugs that I once loved are no longer a part of me and it feels great to say that because I was in a dark place. Do I have regrets? Sure, I wish I didn't blow most of that money. Now I'm back doing consulting work, working out 2-3 hours a day. I actually fall asleep at night. Lol. I'm sure some of you know what I mean, no more 3-4 a.m. pretending to care about what's on tv. It is ALL a distraction. Sometime I think addicts, including myself, feel like we are going to live forever so we can quit anytime we want, until we can't. The ONLY time to stop using is now, please learn from my mistakes. Don't waste 10 years of your life and forget what life is really all about, helping others. That is why a I am here. I need to give and receipt support, that is now my drug of choice. The earth has been here for billions of years and we are here for what amounts to the BLINK OF AN EYE! Don't die with your music still in you!
I am here for ANYONE who wants to chat, needs to talk, wants to give advice or anything. Nothing is off topic for me. If you need help in your career, work, home, best way to quit, how to limit cravings, my detailed recipe for what worked for me, ANYTHING! I am here. If you don't want to respond on here, private message me a way to get in touch with you. And a big thanks to all who shared before me, it was YOU who inspired me to be my best by truly living without chemicals. THANK YOU and bye for now!!!
Fast forward to 2015, I'm down to like $10k. Now I am up to 1.5 grams every two days. Yep, that's right! A gram is equal to roughly 800mg of oxycodone. I've never been great with numbers but I have these numbers down! Another $5k gone. It's now March 1, 2015. I can't explain what exactly happened but I was very depressed. I just hit a place and I wasn't willing to go any further. I took the next week and tapered down to .3g a day. March 8-11 were some of the worst, darkest days of my life. I was going absolutely crazy but I mentally prepared and bought all the right stuff, the magnesium, OJ, bananas, L-tyrosine, b6, b12, ascorbic acid (pure vitamin c), heating pad, ice packs, other soft foods, soups, salads, NyQuil, and a bunch of other stuff. Even after all of that, NOTHING could of prepared me for those first three days. It is just something you need to go through. Can you take suboxone? Sure but I wouldn't recommend it because it just prolongs the process. Look at it as "doing the time" for punishing your body. Remember every ache, the pounds of sweat, the chills, all the stomach stuff, remember it and realize that you did this to yourself. I couldn't even look in a mirror until day three was over! I probably took 30 showers/baths in hose three days. I also took 20 minute walks even though I didn't feel like it.
Where am I today? I have been clean since March 7, so that's 20-21 days. I know it's not a lot but I finally feel like myself this week. The first week is rough, but the first 72 hours are the hardest. For me, day 4-12 was a roller coaster ride. You have to remember, I was numb for almost nine years. I found myself watching 'Chick Flicks' and SOBBING at the end of them. I am very passionate but not very emotional at all. I guess my emotions were tired of holding back. Lol. I'd cry and the stupidest things. What helped me the most was exercise, eating right and talking to friends. I have only told a few people about my issues with drugs but you need someone. For some it's AA or NA, some is family and friends, and some use groups online like this one. I would say that you need at least one of these methods, and probably all three if you can.
I'm sure I will still have some bad days but my cravings are way down due to proper diet/supplementation and exercise. Also, MUSIC IS AMAZING! Anything that gets you moving. I used to only listen to talk radio (I'm a total political junkie as well) but I have my playlists and NOTHING gets me moving like music. After working our I have more energy than I can even explain. The natural endorphin high is 10 times that of a drug high. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true for me. It's nice to FEEL again. It's nice to have a sex drive, totally forgot what part that played in life. Lol. The drugs that I once loved are no longer a part of me and it feels great to say that because I was in a dark place. Do I have regrets? Sure, I wish I didn't blow most of that money. Now I'm back doing consulting work, working out 2-3 hours a day. I actually fall asleep at night. Lol. I'm sure some of you know what I mean, no more 3-4 a.m. pretending to care about what's on tv. It is ALL a distraction. Sometime I think addicts, including myself, feel like we are going to live forever so we can quit anytime we want, until we can't. The ONLY time to stop using is now, please learn from my mistakes. Don't waste 10 years of your life and forget what life is really all about, helping others. That is why a I am here. I need to give and receipt support, that is now my drug of choice. The earth has been here for billions of years and we are here for what amounts to the BLINK OF AN EYE! Don't die with your music still in you!
I am here for ANYONE who wants to chat, needs to talk, wants to give advice or anything. Nothing is off topic for me. If you need help in your career, work, home, best way to quit, how to limit cravings, my detailed recipe for what worked for me, ANYTHING! I am here. If you don't want to respond on here, private message me a way to get in touch with you. And a big thanks to all who shared before me, it was YOU who inspired me to be my best by truly living without chemicals. THANK YOU and bye for now!!!
Today is better. Day 4! Yay! Still *****, but not as sucky as the first 3 days! Hopefully my sucketh meter will keep climbing down! Headache eased up, was able to sleep a little this morning..
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad! It's not a pain I'd wish on my worst enemy. And good, I'm glad my story made you feel better about your situation. That's the only reason why I posted it. On day four I started to feel better. Try and take a walk, even for 15 minutes. You will be sweating like crazy but who cares, right? Your emotions are probably all over the place as I know mine were. Embrace the good moments, and remember that the horrible feeling of withdraw is almost over for you! You and your rice bag are in my thoughts and prayers! Write back and please keep me updated!
Thanks for your story.. I'm setting here with a hot rice bag on my head trying to relieve a major headache. I look ridiculous as I'm crying now after reading your story.. I have my busting headache because of withdrawals.. from vicoden.. I knew full well what would happen, but the need to "keep up" over ruled my common sense.. in a way, ur story makes me feel better because u are way worse then me heheheh sorry.. I think wow.. if he can, I sure can..I'm 3 full days without, tomorrow will be 4.. I'm sure hoping tomorrow is better! keep going man! Thanks for the story.. and remember the creepy lady at home with a hot rice bag on top of her head crying like a dork needs lots of prayer :) be blessed !
I almost forgot to mention how important it is to find a healthy addiction to support your old one. For me, I've been working out like it is my job and I can't stress how much this has helped me. Start small, walk around your block a couple times, build it up, use any aerobic/interval training. Maybe you used to play music, had a hobby you gave up; just replace the addiction with SOMETHING positive. You won't regret it. Stay busy!
It's ok, you don't have to follow the rules. Lol. Most of us are rule breakers anyway. CONGRATS on day 1. I hope you are prepared and please keep me updated. Anything you need, I'm here!!
Oh i'm sorry, I didnt see this before I read part 1. Well, congratulations!! That is so amazing you are an inspiration to me! I am just now quitting oxycontin and Norco after 10 years. Today is day 1 and its agony.
Thanks a lot. I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't sure I could do it until I got past day 10. The rollercoaster ride is a wild emotional one that leaves you mentally and physically exhausted. Thanks for the comment and I will make sure I keep posting. Thanks for being an inspiration, Cricketk92
Hi and welcome to the forum! WOW! That was a great read!! Congrats to you on you 21 days!!! That is something to be so proud of!! Whenever I read something like this it takes me right back to the days of WD! That was NOT a fun time! Im so glad that you made it through and that you came here to share your story with us! This site truly has been a godsend to me too!!! Keep on posting and let us know how you are getting on!!!! :)
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